Chapter Text
The second Sam’s feet touched the foreign soil of the alternate world, he was able to let out a breath of relief. They were surrounded by forest, some of it burned, some of the trees were knocked over completely, but it all smelt like wet dirt and soggy leaves.
He looked at his surroundings to try and take in the world. This was the place that Jessica had been trapped in for weeks, and in order to even begin to understand what she had gone through, he had to take it all in.
Even with the weight of Jessica’s absence, and the knowledge that she’d been stuck in a horrible deadly world without him, he still felt lighter than he had in a long time. He felt like he could finally breathe, for the first time in months. There was something about being a world away from Lucifer, even if he was just beyond the rift, technically only a few feet away. It was just… Sam couldn’t feel him.
The wind was cold, but not unbearably icy in a way that seeped into his bones. It was just… normal. He could still sense Lucifer’s powers, just a little, probably because the rift was only open by feeding on the angel's grace, but it was more of a consistent humming than an overbearing screaming uneasiness that would pound at his skull, telling him to run, telling him that he was never safe.
He was so distracted by the scenery and the feeling that it took him a minute to realize that Dean was trying to talk to him.
“-ay attention, Sammy. We have to track down Jack and Jess sooner rather than later.” Dean snapped at him, and when he was sure that Sam was zoned in again, he continued. “Cas, where are we?”
Cas closed his eyes, concentrating. “Northeast Kentucky. Or… what used to be Kentucky.”
Dean looked at the sky, taking in the position of the sun and then pointing to his right. “Okay, that means North is that way. Is there a way to track them down or can you sense them?”
“Jess is not warded against angels like you are, but I can’t sense where she is. She must be somewhere with heavy warding. I can, however, feel Jack.” Cas explained. “His power is dampened significantly, so I doubt any of the angels here can feel it. They are not aware of his existence and so they won’t be looking for it.”
“So where is he?” Dean asked, ready for Cas to get on with it.
Cas turned his head to the right, the way Dean had said was North. “This way.” He directed, and they all began walking with Cas in the lead.
For a while it all went by in silence. None of them expected it to be a quick walk, but as the hours passed it was starting to sink in that they could be walking for days. With this information in mind, Dean wanted to start conversations. He talked to Cas for a while, eagerly explaining the plots of different movies even though Sam was sure that Cas had no idea what Dean was on about.
Sam was content just looking at the forest. It was nice not to be stuck in the bunker, endless days and nights with no indication on whether it was 1:00am or 1:00pm. It was especially hard to piece things together when he pulled all nighters, the hours blurring into days until the time really held no meaning.
The weather was nice. At some point it started sprinkling, wetting the grass and trees again with a slight drizzle but it never started to pour.
Sam raised his head to look up at the trees and to feel the rain on his face. He decided he might as well take it all in while he still could.
Lucifer would escape, that was inevitable. And when he did, it was Sam’s responsibility to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone, and if that meant giving himself up, he would. It was nice to have some time to enjoy his freedom and the world around him before then.
He noticed Dean approaching him from the corner of his eye.
“You seem different since we got here.”
Sam almost wanted to laugh, but he didn’t. He was too scared that Dean would do something stupid if he found out. “What do you mean?” He asked hesitantly.
“I don’t know.” Dean shrugged, and they walked side by side for a while in silence. Just when Sam thought the conversation was over, Dean continued. “Feels like you’re taking everything in differently, I guess. Not as in your head, or at least not in the bad parts.”
Sam wasn’t sure how to take that, but so he just nodded, giving his brother a half smile.
Something in Dean’s expression lifted, a worry and hurt that had been plaguing him vanishing at the sight of Sam’s smile, no matter how pathetic of one it might’ve been and immediately Sam felt guilt gnawing in the inside of his stomach. He needed to be happier for Dean’s sake, he knew he did. It was just hard.
“You’re okay then?” Dean asked, something like hope in his voice, but Dean should’ve known better than to hope.
The question made Sam’s heart sink, but he couldn’t say anything that would mess up the passion and excitement in Dean’s eyes. The confidence in his posture. Dean didn’t need to be weighed down by Sam’s responsibility.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Sam answered, trying to keep the three words from spilling out of his mouth too quickly so that Dean wouldn’t be able to notice the lie. And he guessed it wasn’t entirely a lie, he was at peace with it. Not okay, he could never be okay as long as Lucifer was still breathing, but he’d long since accepted his fate.
“Good.” Dean beamed, slapping him on the back once or twice. “We’re gonna get her back Sammy, just wait and see.”
And Sam could see the sliver of fear hidden in Dean’s smile, that maybe he was wrong, and it wasn’t for Jessica’s sake. Fear for Sam, because Dean didn’t think Sam would be able to live through the disappointment and devastation of Jess being taken away from them again.
Sam wasn’t so sure he was wrong.
*****
They took a few small breaks, so by the time they’d finally been walking for long enough that Dean was complaining about his legs falling off, it was well into the night.
The moon was surprisingly bright for such a dreary shadowy world, and there were a few times that Sam thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Since Dean didn’t seem tense or worried, he assumed it was just his nerves.
None of them wanted to stop. Cas was the one to suggest that they try to get at least an hour or two of sleep, but both of them weren’t keen on wasting time. Sam didn’t want to leave Rowena with Lucifer for a second longer than necessary.
Early the next morning, all of them too tired to be talking, they all snapped to attention when a girl's scream echoed through the forest. They ran towards the sound frantically—Sam was long past being able to switch the hunter side of his brain off and on—and came to a clearing with two people fighting off a vicious humanoid monster.
“Maggie, run!” The man yelled to the young woman.
With only a moment's hesitation, the girl jumped on the back of the creature and pulled the thing away from her partner and they both went tumbling to the ground.
When the monster realized that the girl was a closer and easier target, it changed its attention towards her. Before she even had the chance to scream again, Sam came sprinting forward and pulled out his machete, cutting its head clean off.
All of them stood and stared at the head that rolled off into a puddle of mud, breathing heavily but dead quiet.
“What the hell was that thing?” Dean was looking down at the pale, balding creature, fangs too long to be able to fit in its mouth.
“What do you mean?” The girl, Maggie, brushed herself off and got to her feet. “It was a vampire.”
“It’s not like any vamp we’ve ever seen.” Dean huffed, poking the head with his boot.
“Who are you?” Maggie asked wearily, stepping closer to her companion.
“I’m Dean.” He introduced himself, and then pointed down the line. “That’s my little brother Sam, and that’s our friend Cas. We’re not from around here, what makes a bloodsucker look like that?”
“Starvation.” The bearded man spoke up, shrugging. “When Michael’s armies started to wipe out the humans, they didn’t think about monsters or what would happen to them when their food source dried up. Turns out, not eating makes them wild. Nothing but pure, stupid appetite.”
“Which way are you headed?” Maggie asked.
They both looked at Cas, and Cas pointed. “North.”
“To Dayton, right?” Maggie nodded. “We were going that way too. We heard that there was a satellite colony there, an outpost.”
Sam and Dean looked at each other, and Sam felt his stomach twist. “Wait. What do you mean you were?”
“Me, Floyd,” Maggie motioned to her companion, “ and the rest of our group, we were crossing north through the Morehead tunnel...stumbled into a whole nest of those things.”
Floyd’s gaze grew distant as he said. “Nine of us went in. Only me and Maggie came out.”
Dean narrowed his eyes, his jaw tightening.“This tunnel, is it the only way north?”
“There’s a mountain pass, but it’s a long way around. Tunnel’s the quickest route.” Maggie explained.
“Should we go around?” Cas asked Dean, and Sam felt like he should back away so they could discuss.
Dean thought about it for a good moment, but shook his head. “No.” He sighed. “We’re already a day out from Dayton as it is. We don’t have time for a detour.” Then Dean turned towards Maggie and Floyd. “Listen, we’ve faced worse than a nest of vamps before. Much worse. So if you still want to get to Dayton, we’ll keep you safe. As far as we’re concerned, we’re going through that tunnel.”
The two travelers looked at each other gravely, talking to each other without a word spoken. Eventually Floyd nodded, Turing towards Dean. “We’ll go with you.”
*****
The tunnel was cold, and for the first time since they’ve arrived , Sam started to get that sinking feeling in his stomach. It was almost like he could feel Lucifer’s presence, not necessarily that he was close but the creeping tingling in his soul that had finally quieted after going through the rift because he was a whole world away was starting to come back.
He was just feeling uneasy, he knew that, and his brain always seemed to associate Lucifer with that fear and unease.
They each had their own flashlights—that and glow sticks hanging around their necks, just to help everyone distinguish vampires from humans—and they shined them all in the different crevices of the cave. Sam and Dean both had machetes, Cas didn’t need a weapon, and Floyd and Maggie had a baseball bat and a knife, not exactly the weapons Sam would’ve chosen but he knew they probably didn’t have much of a choice.
Sam heard Maggie gasp, and lunged forward to protect her only to find her staring at the assortment of dead bodies that were all lying in a dark corner. He sucked in a breath at the almost bloodless gore, their necks just bare bones and their organs spilling out. By the devastation on Maggie’s face, it was safe to say that she knew them. They must’ve been the people she’d gone through the tunnel with the first time.
Then, in the very far corner, Sam saw the reflective glowing eyes of a vampire, too busy sucking every last drop of blood out of the last body to want to attack.
Maggie watched it with frightened eyes, and Sam stepped forward. “I’ll get it.” He told her quietly, and Sam could feel not just her gaze on him but Dean’s as well. Making sure he didn’t kill himself, probably.
The vampire didn’t even struggle when he beheaded it.
They came across another one, jumping from around a corner and making a move at Maggie and she let out a yelp of surprise, but Dean pulled it away from her by its tattered shirt and it went scrambling further into one of the tunnels.
They came to a standstill, the tunnel leading two different directions. The vampire had gone down the tunnel on the right. It didn’t take a genius to know that that one was probably where the nest was.
Before they could decide though, Sam felt a shiver go up his spine, and he glanced over at some of the smaller side passageways. He couldn’t explain it, but something deeply unsettling washed over him, like a sudden weight on his chest.
“Dean?” He whispered.
Dean turned his head towards Sam, but right in that moment another vampire jumped out of the darkness, going straight for Floyd. He screamed as it latched on, its teeth ripping out the underside of his chin and throat and blood spraying all over the beast as Maggie shrieked Floyd’s name. Dean was there with his machete then, but it was too late.
Sam made to go help Dean but another one came out of nowhere, lunging for Sam and he was only barely able to kick it away.
Floyd was gurgling his last few breaths on the floor at that point, and Sam desperately wanted to put him out of his misery but there was more coming, the next one going for Maggie again. Another one is taking Floyd, dragging him away into the tunnels.
Sam meant to help Maggie, but she was backing away and then Dean was at her side. There was no warning before a flash of light blinded him, it was warm and holy and Sam vaguely realized it was probably Cas smiting one of the vampires.
But the light had distracted him from the vampire that was coming forward, grabbing him by the arm. Sam went to swing his machete but then another one grabbed him, biting his wrist and ripping back a whole layer of skin. Sam cried out in surprise and pain, dropping his weapon without meaning to, and then there were more hands on him, cold and sharp and Sam could feel a wave of panic and he frantically tried to push the hands away, shoving and kicking but somehow he ended up on the ground and the face of a crazed blood thirsty monster was in his face, their drool and manic tears dripping onto his face and chest, and going for his neck. Sam did the only thing he could.
“Dean!” He screamed.
Sam could hear Dean call back, completely overtaken with panic. “Sammy!”
“Dean!” He nearly choked out, almost hyperventilating as the group held him to the ground with unnatural terrifying strength for such bony and malnourished creatures. One was sinking its fangs into his left forearm, one his right leg, Then a piercing agony erupted in his neck. He let out a strangled gasp as it tore out his jugular. He could feel the flood of warm thick liquid leaking across his neck, chest, and face. He was losing blood so fast that the tunnel was spinning, bright flashing lights swirling in his vision. He couldn’t breathe. No matter how hard he tried, it was impossible.
Somewhere distant, he could feel himself being dragged, and he tried to kick at the monster responsible, but it was a lot weaker than he intended it to be. All he could focus on was the trail of blood smearing beneath him. It was going to be annoying as hell to clean up. And then he remembered he wasn’t in the dark hallways of the bunker, he was in a cave. There was no one there to clean the mess, either.
Sam was unable to take a full breath, and he could feel blood filling his mouth and lungs. He could feel his fuzzy brain starting to panic, because this was not how he was supposed to die. If he died there then there was no one to protect Rowena and Jess from Lucifer. He needed to be there. If he wasn’t there, Dean would do something stupid. If he wasn’t there, Lucifer would hurt Rowena all over again and he promised her that he would keep her safe. If he wasn’t there Jack might fall into his father’s clutches, be forced to become everything he feared. If he died, Jess would be at Lucifer’s mercy all over again, and this time there would be no escape. It was just pure dumb luck that she’d gotten away last time, and this time Lucifer wouldn’t let it happen again.
He couldn’t die to some stupid vampire.
And then, when everything stopped moving, his body just felt heavy and he knew he was dying. He’d died too many times to not know what it felt like. The sensation of the creatures biting and ripping at his flesh started to dampen and Sam just wanted to breathe but he couldn’t, not around the blood—and wasn’t that funny? At some point in his life he couldn’t get enough of it but then within the past few years he’s repeatedly found himself choking on his own blood and he couldn’t help but think it was karma—and he couldn’t move to save himself either.
His brain was beginning to shut off, and he started to feel a little bit like he was floating. Sam didn’t even realize that the world wasn’t in focus until the bright warm light—the halo of an angel, he could sense it—was coming towards him.
In that moment he could feel his fingers twitching as his body begged for oxygen, begged for the blood that it had all lost in just a matter of seconds.
Some selfish part of him was relieved.
*****
When Dean first heard his little brother cry, he panicked. There had been a lot of moments where a simple hunt had gone wrong, and one that would always be present in his mind, even if it was years ago, would be when Sam had gotten shot in that cabin in the woods when hunting the werewolves. The memory of that entire nightmare of a case would always be in the back of his head. Sammy’s hands shaking, biting down on a roll of gauze as Dean pulled out the bullet with burning hot tweezers, the slow and agonizing walk through the forest and Sam feeling so lightheaded he ended up losing his dinner. Sam told Dean to leave him behind, and then Dean finding him motionless and not breathing and somehow Dean had let himself be sweet-talked by the survivors to help them instead of staying with Sam.
Every single moment of that terrifying experience flashed before his eyes and he couldn’t see Sam around the mass of vampires rushing for him and Cas. How had Sam gotten himself separated? Dean yelled for his brother, trying desperately to find him only to get a glimpse and Sam was on the ground.
“Dean!” Sam cried out again, this time breathless and petrified. Dean swung his machete to behead another vampire, slashing and cutting his way to the front, to get to his brother but it wasn’t working.
Sam was covered in them, vampires sinking their teeth and claws into his legs and arms as he tried to struggle and kick out of their grip.
And then one went for the throat, and Dean didn’t even have the air to scream. He watched as the vampire sat back with a chunk of blood and flesh, a piece of Sam’s neck in its mouth. Each bright light of Cas smiting a monster, Dean could better see the gore and panic and blood that was flooding from Sam and the wound, soaking his chest and jacket and everything. Too much blood. And the look in Sam’s eye was something he would never forget.
Dean could feel his heart beating out of his chest. “Cas! Save him!” He ordered, but Cas was having problems of his own, and he could see the vampires dragging Sam’s almost limp body back into the tunnels, leaving a smearing trail of blood, into the darkness and Dean’s heart was pounding so fast that his chest hurt.
“Cas!” And somehow, this time, Cas was able to make his way through the vampires that were left, letting them bite and tear at him as he forced his way through the crowd.
“Sam!” Cas shouted after him, disappearing in the shadows almost immediately.
Dean swung his machete at one and realized that it wasn’t even attacking him, it had its teeth dug into Maggie, her upper arm being bitten by one as the other went for the throat.
By the time all of the vampires that surrounded him were dead, Maggie was staring up at the ceiling with a blank dead look, and the vampires were surrounding her body, feeding on her like fish fighting over food in a pond. Stupid and petty.
Dean allowed his vision to just go red, he let his fear burn into rage as he cut every vampire in his near vicinity into as many pieces as he could. By the time he could see straight, there was the sound of slow dragging footsteps coming from the other direction.
“Sammy?” His voice cracked, but it wasn’t Sam that walked into view. It was Cas.
He couldn’t even bring himself to ask Cas where Sam was, because Sam should’ve been right beside him. He should’ve been there. Dean stumbled his way towards the tunnel where Sam had disappeared because there was no way, no way that it meant what he thought it meant.
Cas should be with Sam, he should be healing him, he should be giving Sam a shoulder to lean on as they make their way back. But Cas didn’t have Sam and that meant-
“Dean.” Cas grabbed his sleeve, his lip trembling for just a split second and there was so much grief there but that couldn’t be right. “Dean, he’s gone. His soul is gone.”
Dean stood frozen in his steps, staring at Cas in total disbelief. “No.” He mutters, more to the world, to Chuck, than anything else.
He tried to push himself past Cas, but his knees felt weak, his stomach dropping to his toes. “No, he’s not- he’s not…”
Cas just grabbed him by the shoulders, wrapping his arms around Dean with a resigned heaviness that made him want to punch him and start shouting and throwing things. Dean tried to break away, to head for Sam to see for himself, because surely Cas was wrong, but Cas held him with the strength of an entire army.
“Dean, we don’t have time. We need to find Jack and Jess.” Cas said softly, and Dean could feel his eyes burning, and a sob building up in his chest as everything came crashing down all over again.
He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t want to search for Jack and Jess anymore, he just wanted his brother back. That’s all he ever wanted, he didn’t care who they had to sacrifice or leave behind to make that happen. He just wanted Sam by his side.
And then he felt like he’d been slapped, his own thoughts eating at him like poison.
If Dean didn’t do everything in his power to save his brother’s kid and his brother’s girl, Sam would never forgive him.
Dean looked over Castiel’s shoulder into the darkness where he could hear growls and groans. When he looks back at Cas, the angel couldn’t look Dean in the eyes. But, he lets Cas take his arm and lead him towards the exit. They walk past Maggie’s body, Floyd's too. The pieces scattered limbs of vampires he’d slashed in half, and all Dean couldn’t help but hate Cas, just a little bit. He didn’t want to, he didn’t mean to, but he did.
Cas was supposed to save Sam, but he didn’t.
But then again, angels had always failed Sam, since the moment he was born. Dean hated that he had even believed for a second that this time would be any different.
*****
It was another day’s walk to the camp that Maggie and Floyd had talked about. Cas was still steering them in the right direction, just the two of them, and Dean couldn’t help but feel empty. It was the same way he always felt when Sam was gone. Nothing and everything all at the same time.
It was too quiet, even though Sam hadn’t spoken much during the trip, his presence had been there and Sam’s presence alone was loud to Dean.
Cas refused to look at him, his shoulders hung low but he walked with a determination, on a mission. Dean couldn’t help but wonder if Cas was only there to get Jack back, and if he cared at all about what happened to Sam.
Suddenly Dean couldn’t help but hate Jack just as much as he hated Castiel. He knew it was wrong of him, but hate was a lot easier to muster up than grief.
When Cas asked Dean if he needed to stop and rest for a moment or if he wanted something to eat or drink, Dean refused. His stomach just felt like a big hole of nothingness, and something told him food wasn’t going to make that feeling go away.
At some point Castiel’s faster pace started to grow sluggish, and he squinted and pressed his mouth together as if in pain every step he took.
“What’s wrong?” Dean’s voice was hoarse, it felt so wrong to be speaking at all. Like they’d been purposefully spending the hours in silence for some sort of time of reflection and Dean was cutting into it. It felt disrespectful.
“I-I can’t- the warding is too strong.” Cas grunted, looking like he was trying to walk forward but his feet were attached to weights.
It took a second for Dean to realize that the warding probably meant they were close to camp. And unless it was invisible, Dean could easily go and disable it.
He looked around, searching for any signs of warding, and sure enough, about thirty feet in the distance Dean could spot some plywood nailed to several of the trees, red symbols painted across all of them.
Even as he got closer, he couldn’t quite recognize the exact symbols they were using, so he assumed it was pretty heavy duty. Sam would’ve recognized them, he knew. The thought was like a stab in the chest. He went through with his knife and scratched away some of the paint in the middle of all the ones he could see, and slowly Cas began to make his way towards him.
Before they could move on though, a man in camo appeared on top of a steep hill, a gun in his hands.
Dean reached for his gun instinctively, but froze when he heard another gun cocking from behind him.
“We’re not here to fight.” Cas had his hands raised in the air, trying to be the mediator and Dean could feel his teeth grinding at the thought. That was Sam’s job, not Cas’s.
“We’re just looking for our friends.” Cas explained, but there was a rustle from the top of the hill and another man appeared.
Bobby.
For the tiniest moment, Dean felt himself perk up at the sight of the familiar face, but then he remembered that it wasn’t their Bobby anyways. This Bobby didn’t know them, he didn’t know Sam. This Bobby wouldn’t even grieve when he found out what happened.
“Well damn.” Bobby huffed, a gun in his hands—hadn’t Bobby said he named it Rufus? The memory almost made Dean sick because of course Rufus was dead here too— and he eyed Dean and Cas up and down with a scowl. “Never expected to see you idjits again.”
“We’re looking for two of our people.” Cas said carefully, aware that Bobby more than likely had the ability to kill them both if he really wanted to. “A blond girl and a young boy, they go by the names Jessica Moore and Jack Kline.”
Bobby sighed, shrugging. “Yeah, we’ve seen em.”
Cas immediately stood straighter. “Where?”
“They’re both back at camp. I’ll take you two if you swear not to cause anymore problems.” Bobby grumbled like an old man, and at any other time Dean would’ve been amused by it, even fond of the familiar gruffness. “And you guys gotta promise to go home and keep your mess on your own planet.”
They both nodded. “We will.”
At Bobby’s nod, the two guns pointed at them lowered, and then the old man motioned for them to follow.
Camp wasn’t far, but every step was starting to feel more and more impossible, with reality hitting him once again. The fact that he was going to have to tell Jess what happened to Sam made him hope the earth would open up and swallow him whole.
They stood near the entrance as Bobby sent a young woman in search of Jess—and Jack, but apparently they could always find the two of them together— telling the girl to send Jess over when she found her.
While he waited Dean decided to find a place to sit down before he collapsed, so he went over to a nearby log. Cas stayed close behind him. Finally with a minute to breathe, he tried to keep his mind numb, but all he could think about was Jess and how he needed to tell her. Then all he could see was Sam being dragged into the tunnels with chunks of his flesh missing and the blood smearing beneath him. Dean put his hands on his head, trying to block out the extra noises of the forest, everything was too overwhelming.
“Dean.” Cas said, cutting off his spiral right as his breaths were starting to get more shallow and frantic.
When he looked up Dean realized it wasn’t just to snap him out of it, Cas was looking forward intently at something. When Dean looked up to see what it was, he saw her. Jess.
She wasn’t with Jack, instead she was walking with the same girl who had been sent to look for her, both of them talking politely to each other, clearly not overly familiar with each other but there was no bad blood between the two of them either.
Jess had cut her hair, her blond curls chopped off right past her chin, but not quite reaching her shoulders. She was wearing clothes that were pretty worn and old, just like everyone else. There was a barely healed scar on her face, looking mostly like a giant scrape across her cheek, some of it looking like it’d been a burn.
Dean got to his feet, and as soon as Jessica’s gaze left the girl beside her and landed on Dean and Cas, she lit up. There was so much excitement on her face that it almost made Dean want to close his eyes and look away. He knew it wasn’t going to last.
Jess ran towards them, leaping over to Cas first, who was standing a little closer, and wrapping him in a big warm hug. Then she moved over to Dean, doing the same to him.
When she leaned over and hugged him though, he broke. Sam was gone. Really gone. And there was nothing he could do this time. He had died alone and Dean hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye, Jess hadn’t gotten to say goodbye. Sam was doing better, he was going to get to see his girl and then he’d finally get to heal and then do better and then that was stolen from him. Something embarrassing and weak inside of him shoved his face into her blond curls and pretended it was his mom that was hugging him. Pretended that having his mom there would even help at all.
No doubt when Jess felt Dean start to shake—or maybe when she heard him trying to choke back a sob—she stepped back looking confused, concerned.
She had him by the arms, and Dean thought she might’ve asked him what was wrong but he couldn’t answer and so his knees gave out. He fell out of her grip, and he could see out of his peripheral vision that Jess was looking frantically back and forth between him and Cas.
Jess sank down next to him, on her knees, and then tried to bend down even lower so that she could look Dean in the eyes. “Dean… where’s Sam?” She asked like she already knew, with a new understanding of dread and horror that Dean had never heard from her sweet, positive voice before.
“Where’s Sam?” Jess asked again, this time looking at Cas with wide teary eyes and Dean couldn’t look at her.
Cas’s expression was solemn.
“Jessica, I’m sorry.” Cas said finally. “Sam is dead.”
It took a good long moment of silence for Jess to do or say anything, she just sat there for a good minute trying to process the information. “How? Did he…”
Before Dean could come up with a lie—because he knew that she would blame herself, she was all too much like Sam when it came to things like that—Cas replied. “On our way here, we ran into a nest of vampires, and they attacked us.”
Jess stared at him still, not a single tear falling. “I have to tell Jack.” She said quietly. “Jack needs to know-“
“Jessica, you don’t have to, we can tell him.” Cas winced sympathetically.
Jess shook her head, and swallowed hard. She looked pale as she scrambled to her feet. “No, I should do it.” Her face looked completely frozen in that deer in the headlights' shock. “He needs to know and- and it’d be best if he found out from me.”
Before she could leave, Cas wrapped her into another tight hug.
Dean adjusted his spot on the ground, bringing his knees up in front of him as he watched Jess walk back into the camp. Jack appeared then, coming from somewhere over the hill, and when he spotted Dean and Cas he started beaming just like Jess had. But she caught him by the hand before he could run past her. He looked at her, confused.
He watched as she told him the news with a steady voice, while Jack just looked at her with a blank expression. The conversation went on, but Dean purposely tried to tune out the words, thinking maybe it’d help, but it didn’t.
Jack shouted, his face crumbling. “No!” And he immediately spiraled into panic. Cas went towards them, no doubt to try and comfort the kid. “He can’t be dead, he can’t be dead-“ Jack repeated over and over again, as if it would make it true.
Cas put a hand on Jack’s shoulder, but Jack recoiled. “Couldn’t you bring him back? Why didn’t you bring him back!”
Whatever Cas told the kid, it was too quiet to hear from the distance he was at.
The sound of Jack’s overwhelming despair had Dean realizing how much the kid really loved Sam. Hell, Sam had been more of a father to him than pretty much anyone else in their group, especially with Cas having been dead for a while right after Jack had been born.
That made Dean want to comfort him, he wanted to reassure his brother’s kid that everything would be okay eventually, that they’d find a way to get Sam back. But he couldn’t. Dean couldn’t do anything to help because he had never built that connection with Jack like the others had. He’d spent his entire time either hating Jack or wanting to hate him, and so it felt like he’d burned every possible bridge that he’d had with the poor kid.
At that moment Dean realized he didn’t hate Cas or even Jack. He hadn’t ever hated them. It wasn’t Castiel’s job to keep Sam safe, it was his.
And he failed.