Work Text:
As if his world hadn’t been shaken enough by the sudden appointment to a distressed and grieving Jedi High Council, the promotion of his padawan to Jedi Knight, and oh yeah, the galaxy-spanning civil war that had just started, Obi-Wan was being dealt yet another heavy blow, in a random hallway in the Jedi Temple, no less. At least the other major events had the decency to bring a little gravitas when they turned his world upside down.
Just an hour ago, Obi-Wan had been holding a knife to Anakin, shearing the little padawan braid at his Knighting ceremony, the way his own master could not do for him. Though their relationship had its ups and downs, Anakin had been a near-constant companion for him since losing his own master, and Obi-Wan sincerely believed that Anakin was capable of great things. Obi-Wan had so many things he wanted to tell him, things he hoped Anakin would finally hear now that he could see himself as Obi-Wan’s equal, but the ceremony had been derailed by the announcement of yet another new wrinkle in the war. So Obi-Wan had found himself speedwalking (not running) through the temple after his former padawan.
And Obi-Wan found his former padawan running into a Senator’s arms.
Figuratively, of course.
They were in a public hallway, and they stood a perfectly formal distance apart. But Obi-Wan could tell, even from the staircase landing that he was watching from, that they were fighting that impulse. Despite having returned from Naboo only a few days prior.
He couldn’t hear what they were saying from here, but the very fact that they were acting as if they had something to hide was damning enough. Even more damning was the emotion rippling through the Force from Anakin. Anakin had always felt things deeply, and from here, Obi-Wan could tell that he was feeling a lot of things. But the emotion that overwhelmed the others was passion. The most dangerous facet of love for a Jedi. Given his former padawan’s leanings and Naboo’s stringent beliefs about marriage, Obi-Wan surmised with a sinking feeling what must have happened between them on Naboo.
He wanted to run down there and confront Anakin. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice your improper affair with a kriffing senator?
He wanted to shake some sense into Anakin. You can’t be an impartial peacekeeper when you’re married to a former queen!
But most frightening of all, Obi-Wan wanted to rationalize it. Love wasn’t truly forbidden for the Jedi, just unhealthy love. As long as he stayed true to the Jedi’s teachings, why should anyone deny the boy love?
And Anakin was so talented. Truly blessed by the Force, and in Anakin, that translated to exceptional battle instincts. Already, Anakin had proved his worth on the front lines, and every day that he would be kept away from there while they hash out whatever-this-is, would mean hundreds, even thousands of Republic citizen and soldier lives.
And what even would be the outcome? To just embarrass him in front of the High Council, which Anakin already believed holds something against him? Like it or not, the Grand Army of the Republic will need Anakin’s skills.
Oh, Anakin, why did you wait until now to betray our ideals? If he had been caught nurturing an illicit affair before, Obi-Wan might have had options. Perhaps he could have gotten him assigned to work the creches or even to the AgriCorps (as horrible a hypocrite as that would make him).
Obi-Wan recognized that, through this line of thought, his decision had practically already been made.
He needed to meditate on this, but where would he find the time? He still needed to save the Chancellor from walking into an assured death trap, and he had only one day to convince Cato Neimoidia to agree to Obi-Wan’s amended terms … and to actually come up with those amended terms.
Obi-Wan turned away, trying to keep his thoughts on the task at hand and not on the fresh feelings of heartbreak over his former student’s deception and the dread that there might not be any choices to make. That, whatever their fate, they have already been destined or doomed to it.