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Anakin had been several systems away when it happened, in the middle of a dogfight, actually. It wasn’t until the battle had wrapped up and he had reported to the Jedi Council that anyone bothered to inform him of what had happened to his former Jedi master.
“He what?!” Anakin barked, turning on his heel to return to the bridge before the trooper could reply. At least he hadn’t made it that far from the holocomm yet. Niner nearly stumbled in his haste to catch back up with him.
“General Kenobi is a youngling, a shiny! Commander Tano-”
“Call her,” he cut off.
“Sir!”
Ahsoka must have been waiting for his call, because she appeared on the viewscreen almost immediately.
“Master Skywalker!” Ahsoka’s face was tense and worried.
“What happened?” he snapped. He wouldn’t believe it until he saw it.
“It’s Master Kenobi, he- I-” Ahsoka wrung her hands.
“Show me!” he commanded.
“Now, now,” said a teenage boy, walking into view of the holocomm. He had his hands out in front of him placatingly, and he angled himself in front of Ahsoka, as if to protect her from him. “There’s no need to shout.”
It was really him. He had never seen this version of Obi-Wan, except in pictures, but it was undoubtedly, unmistakably him. Unless it was a very good shapeshifter, in which case, why wouldn’t they copy his current age?
“How did this happen?” Anakin whispered. He listened to Ahsoka describe their expedition in the cave and studied the glowing blue orb that Obi-Wan had found and was now holding up to the holocomm for him to inspect. Apparently, Obi-Wan had retained all of his memories up until his body’s current age, his late teens. Years before he had met Anakin.
After Anakin’s fifth lamentation of his padawan’s poor judgment, young Obi-Wan stepped in front of Ahsoka again and chided him. “Enough. I am quite certain that the present circumstances are partially, if not all my fault.” Anakin quieted, yielding to his teenaged former master, though said teenager apparently didn’t remember being knighted, not to mention any of their years together. “What’s done is done,” the youngling lectured him. “I am sure Padawan Tano will include all the relevant details in her report.”
“Ever the peacekeeper,” Anakin remarked, a touch of bitterness leaking into his voice.
Obi-Wan visibly steeled himself before dipping into a deep bow. “I am humbly sorry for what mistakes I have made as your Master, Knight Skywalker.” Anakin froze. “I hope I can work to correct them.”
“Don’t say that,” Anakin winced, more than a little stung.
“However,” Obi-Wan continued smoothly. “There was more to Padawan Tano’s report.” Obi-Wan turned slightly to shift the focus to Ahsoka again, apparently not trusting him to pay enough attention to his own padawan.
“Master,” Ahsoka began. “The seppies sent in reinforcements. We have our forward base set up planetside, but they managed to chase off the Negotiator. Which means-”
“You’re stranded.” Anakin finished. “Osik.”
“Did I model such language for you when I was your Master?” Obi-Wan joked, awkwardly but lightly.
“Master Obi-Wan,” Anakin intoned, glad to be back on familiar footing. “You were never anything but the picture of refinement,” he returned lightheartedly. Ahsoka giggled at the well-worn joke, and Obi-Wan gave a pained smile, but he looked disturbed. Anakin wasn’t well-versed with Obi-Wan’s face at this age, but that looked to him like clear-cut Disappointment, through and through.
He could recognize it easily enough.
Anakin instinctively straightened, as if to win back the favor of a youngling. “Of course not, Master,” he coughed. “I just-”
“Do not fret, Master Skywalker.” Obi-Wan waved his hand dismissively. “Peace.” Well, it was definitely Obi-Wan, if he ever doubted. “I’m sure she’s heard worse,” Obi-Wan tried another joke.
“I’m sure she’s said worse,” Ahsoka said sarcastically, sounding annoyed that they were ignoring her, but Anakin couldn’t tear his eyes away from the little, flickering image of his master, so young and yet still so serious. Anakin had had this once-in-a-lifetime chance to make a better first impression and he had karked it up yet again.
Kark!
Everyone was used to General Obi-Wan Kenobi running himself ragged in the war, but this teenaged Obi-Wan took it to a whole new level. Once Anakin arrived planetside, the Council cleared Obi-Wan for the frontlines, citing how far into his apprenticeship with Qui-Gon Jinn he was mentally. Ahsoka told him how Obi-Wan had been chomping at the bit to help, distraught by every failed skirmish. Physically, Obi-Wan was still older than Ahsoka was at Christophsis, so Anakin had no way to protest.
Despite Anakin and Ahsoka having years more experience in this war than Obi-Wan, he was constantly throwing himself in front of them, like it was his duty to protect them, like they couldn’t take care of themselves, like the Force had sent him to singlehandedly win the war. Kark, even Ahsoka wasn’t this reckless.
Anakin’s mood darkened with every reminder that his master didn’t trust him. “You were supposed to stay back and defend the tower!” He shouted at the teenager.
“I couldn’t let you have all the fun!” Obi-Wan quipped, but Anakin could feel the fear Obi-Wan was dumping into the force.
“Just let me handle this!” Anakin leaped to finish off a droideka before Obi-Wan decided to leap in front of it or something. Why won’t the boy just trust him? He trained him after all!
“A good Jedi asks for help when he needs it,” Obi-Wan reminded him, moving over to cover his blind spot.
“I know that,” Anakin grit out. “I didn’t need help.”
“Why do you take all this burden on you, Knight Skywalker?"
Anakin couldn’t see the teen since they were fighting back-to-back, but he could picture the exasperated look on his face. “We’re in a war, fighting Sith. This might be where I bring balance to the Force.”
Obi-Wan didn’t freeze, but Anakin could tell he was rattled. “You’re the Chosen One?”
He didn’t have to sound so shocked about it.
Anakin pursed his lips. “Qui-Gon believed so.” Thankfully, that seemed like the last of the droids, so Anakin could turn to see how Obi-Wan was receiving this revelation.
“Oh, Anakin.” Obi-Wan looked anguished. “That’s too much responsibility.”
Anakin shifted uncomfortably. “I can handle it,” he insisted.
“And they told you when you were 10?”
“9, actually.” Anakin corrected. Obi-Wan looked appalled at the idea, but Anakin would much rather know and prepare to shoulder such a burden than to be judged silently against a standard that no one told him about. “Would you have preferred that they lie to me?”
“No, but I-”
“Generals! Reinforcements!” Obi-Wan was cut off by their communicator, and they hurled themselves back into the fray.
Though he had never known Obi-Wan at this age, Anakin found himself ruminating on his past with Obi-Wan a lot.
Anakin knew he had never been what Obi-Wan had wanted, but still he had tried to make Obi-Wan happy that he had kept him. That he had chosen him over his precious Council, the one blemish on his master’s probably sterling record. Anakin knew that Obi-Wan had done it out of duty to Qui-Gon Jinn, but in his most private moments, Anakin liked to think Obi-Wan would have chosen him on his own merits, in some other universe, had he been given the chance.
Anakin had never been foolish enough to let himself believe that, though.
It had been especially bad those first few years, when Anakin was too clingy and emotional, and it was all “you mustn’t cling so much in public, Anakin,” and “you must sleep in your own room tonight, Anakin,” and “you must give me some time alone so I can meditate, Anakin.” Instead of the solo training and missions that made up other padawan’s days, Obi-Wan had enrolled him in initiate classes, which unfortunately endeared Anakin to neither fellow initiates nor fellow padawans. He wouldn’t even let Anakin leave the temple for years, his mistrust ran so deep. This of course had only served to make Anakin more stir-crazy.
Once they were finally able to start running missions out in the real world, though, Anakin took to the work quickly. He was good at it, and he loved doing it. Well, most aspects. He had never taken to the fancy dinner aspect of the diplomatic missions Obi-Wan was so skilled at. He was much better at the aggressive negotiations portion of those missions.
Outside the dinners though, the missions had bonded them together, almost like brothers (if one of the brothers had to call one master, and the other brother always had critiques of the one’s performance). Anakin learned that every instinct he had was unwise or Dark or otherwise against the Code and, despite Obi-Wan’s accusations of bullheadedness, he had learned to adapt around the Order’s decrees.
Anakin had felt like he and Obi-Wan had finally gotten to a good place, now that he was a Knight. Kark, Anakin had his own apprentice now, and he could start to understand some of the fear Obi-Wan must have felt when Anakin was reckless, some of the confidence he had to project even when he wasn’t feeling it but his padawan needed it, some of the pride when she finally took his lessons to heart.
Obi-Wan had commended him many times for how well he and Ahsoka worked together, and he felt certain that the Force had brought them together for a reason.
Teenaged Obi-Wan must not share that same certainty.
“I’d like to help Ahsoka with her meditation.” Obi-Wan approached him on the bridge, while Ahsoka was training with Rex.
“That’s fine,” Anakin said, without looking up from his reports. “You usually do, since I’m so garbage at it.”
Silence hung in the air for a few seconds too long. Anakin chanced a glance up to find a familiar troubled look on young Obi-Wan’s face.
“I usually help you train your padawan?” Obi-Wan confirmed hesitantly.
“The war doesn’t exactly allow for a rigid training schedule.” Anakin snapped the datapad closed, trying not to take offense at Obi-Wan’s implicit criticism. “All of the masters kind of pitch in to help any padawans they happen to be around.” Obi-Wan waited him out, somehow knowing theirs was a bit of a special case.
“What about before the war?” Obi-Wan asked.
“Before the war,” Anakin sighed. “I was still your padawan. It was a wartime promotion, and they surprised me with a padawan during the battle of Christophsis.”
“Did you feel ready to take on a padawan?” Obi-Wan asked carefully, face placidly neutral. Rather at odds with the chagrin he was releasing into the Force.
“Not at all.” Anakin followed his lead and gathered up his frustration by the handful and chucked it into the Force. “I think she was supposed to go to you, but Yoda stepped in.”
Obi-Wan’s face darkened, but cleared quickly. “I see,” he said lightly.
What does he see, Anakin worried. “You said that you felt it was the will of the Force,” Anakin couldn’t stop himself from adding. Pathetic. “I’m doing my best.”
Obi-Wan stepped closer and cupped his cheek gently. “I’m sure you are, my dear.” Obi-Wan left the bridge to meditate with Ahsoka, and Anakin tried not to reel back like he had been slapped in the face.
Having finally driven off the remnants of the Separatist forces from the planet, Anakin and company were finally onboard the Negotiator, ready to go back to Coruscant. Well, sort of.
“So, we obviously need to get you and that orb back to the Jedi Archives, so we can crack this curse or whatever, but we’re on the Outer Rim. Even if we took the straightest shot possible, it would still take months, and General Obi-Wan Kenobi can’t be out of commission for that long, teenager or no,” Anakin debriefed bluntly, still settling from the taxing Council meeting he had just left. “We’ll be taking the roundabout route back to the Core, providing aid to a few battlefronts on the way. However, we’re limited to in-space engagements. No one wants any seppie generals to figure out that your beard isn’t as long as it should be.”
“Hmm,” Obi-Wan hummed, stroking his scraggly stubble.
“Of course, there are far more active ‘negotiation’ fronts than battle fronts in our path, which the Council bemoaned incessantly,” Anakin recounted, more than a little annoyed. He carefully avoided Obi-Wan’s worried gaze.
“At least that means we can skip all the stuck-up negotiations with snooty people that don’t seem to care that people are dying,” Ahsoka commented, slouching in her chair.
“Do neither of my successors care for the art of diplomacy?” Obi-Wan asked lightly, glancing between them.
“Ha, Skyguy?!” Ahsoka snorted. “You compare him to a rancor in a tea shop all the time!” Obi-Wan froze, disappointment welling in the Force. Ahsoka glanced over at Anakin with clear worry, but he did not look at her. “Master Kenobi?” she asked tentatively.
The sour feeling in the Force disappeared like it was never there. “Sorry, my dear. Please, carry on, Anakin.”
So Anakin continued, his sour mood souring further.
Anakin strode down the hall with a purpose. All this having complex emotions and dumping them in the force was taxing, and he had finally relented to try meditating. He was surprised to find Ahsoka in the meditation room, but he soon realized she wasn’t there to meditate as much as she was to bother the room’s other occupant.
“Tell me another!” she commanded.
Obi-Wan chuckled, gazing at her softly. “Pick a letter, my dear.”
“F!”
“Hmm, how about Ferro? The original inhabitants had long since abandoned their homeworld for a mysterious planet called Sekot or Zonoma Sekot, the mission briefing was a bit unclear. But Master Jinn and I were sent to investigate the ruins there and-”
Anakin waited to enter until Ahsoka had left.
He settled into a standard meditation pose beside Obi-Wan, then hesitated. Perhaps they could chat a little before he started. Obi-Wan clearly expected them to and was waiting patiently for Anakin to interrupt his meditation.
“You know, you and I went to Ferro, too,” Anakin started casually. “You never told me that you caused a cave-in with Qui-Gon, too.”
“I caused a cave-in a second time, did I?” Obi-Wan asked, tone light, but body tense. He probably didn’t believe him.
“No, that one was me, actually,” Anakin confessed. “I might have … lost control of my temper. A bit. You were very cross.”
“Of course, I was,” Obi-Wan agreed with a sardonic grin.
Anakin exhaled suddenly, standing smoothly from his meditative pose. “Okay, I’m gonna go tear apart a droid or something.”
Obi-Wan’s eyes flew open. “Wait, Anakin. Why are you leaving?”
All of the frustration and inadequacy and fear finally boiled over, and Anakin snapped. “Look, Master, you don’t even have your memories, and you’re still so disappointed in me. Forgive me if I need to blow off some steam.”
“Disappointed?” Obi-Wan looked shocked. Whether at finally being seen through or called out, Anakin wasn’t sure. “Why ever would you say that?”
“How can you even protest?” Anakin responded hotly. “It’s on your face as clear as day! You dump mountains of it into the force every time you’re around me! You’re disgusted AGAIN that I made a mistake like that, and you don’t even remember it!”
His Master, his real Master Kenobi, had practically raised him and, as such, was entitled to think whatever he wanted of Anakin, no matter how much Anakin hated it. What made this- this pretender think he had the right-
“Anakin, darling, no. Don’t-” Obi-Wan scrambled to his feet. “I- I’m afraid I did this all wrong.”
Anakin scoffed.
“Anakin, please,” Obi-Wan reached out, but paused just shy of actually touching him. “Will you give a young old man a second to give you a full explanation? I’m afraid I’ve done a terrible job as your master-”
“To have gotten a padawan to turn out like me,” Anakin finished his sentence. Now that they’re apparently airing all this out, he won’t stand to be managed like a politician.
“Please please,” Obi-Wan repeated, looking at him like his heart was breaking. Anakin felt nothing but sincerity in the force and stayed where he was, though every fiber of his body screamed to be elsewhere.
“I have … many faults,” Obi-Wan started. “You may not like to hear about them, but please indulge me. I was almost not accepted as a padawan. Everyone said that I was too angry, too impulsive, too attached … Does that sound familiar?”
Despite the completely unbelievable statements Obi-Wan was saying, there was no lie in the force. Only regret, but … perhaps that was directed at himself and not Anakin, he finally realized.
“I had promised myself that I would correct myself and do better. That I would not burden the people I love with those weaknesses. That I would be the perfect Jedi everyone said I could never be.” Obi-Wan smiled ruefully. “It may seem to you that I succeeded, but every bitterness you hold for me, and rightly so, is proof that I did not. And the disappointment you feel in the Force is at myself for failing you. You deserved so much better than you got, Anakin. I don’t need my memories to know that.”
Could it be true? Had he been misreading his Master all these years? He had been so certain that he was feeling disappointment in the Force that he didn’t question who it could be directed at. Anakin felt overwhelmed and cut Obi-Wan off with a firm, “I need to go.”
His droids were about to get the upgrade of their lives.
The next morning, Anakin stopped by Obi-Wan’s quarters. The teenager invited him in for tea. Anakin stayed quiet until they both had a steaming cup of tea to hold, a trick Obi-Wan had taught him.
“You?” he started. “Angry?”
“Oh yes,” Obi-Wan nodded. “They almost threw me out for starting a fight.”
“For real?!” Anakin was astonished.
“I was partly goaded into starting it but yes. I imagine I was very vigilant about you having the same problem.” Obi-Wan answered apologetically.
“...yes.” Anakin admitted.
“Thank you for your honesty.” Obi-Wan smiled.
Anakin sipped more tea. “What a pair we make.”
“Quite the pair,” Obi-Wan agreed.
They sipped their tea, before heading for the bridge to start their day.