Chapter Text
The sun peeked over the horizon, the beams seemed to linger on a specific boy, at least that's how he felt. Craig winced back at the sun as he stepped out the front door, backpack slung over his right shoulder and a left hand trying to block out the sunrays from his eyes. A shove moved him a few steps forward as his sister proceeded past him, bumping his shoulder.
“Come on, let's get this over with. A fresh start to new beginnings or whatever they say,” Tricia continued at a steady pace toward the bus stop while Craig moved a bit faster to catch up.
“It's too early in the morning for new beginnings.” The dark-haired boy retorted, keeping his eyes at half mast, hoping it would shield him from the ever rising sun.
The two idly walked to the bus stop neither being overly excited about their first day back to school. Waiting around for said transportation was done in relative silence. Craig pulled out his phone scrolling through Instagram to see many of his peers posting selfies and goals for this coming school year. His goal this year was to make sure his GPA was at minimum 3.5. Another was to make sure his resume looks adequate for universities. Being a junior this year means he's one step closer to graduating and one step closer to working at NASA. But he's definitely not posting that, he turns off his screen, pocketing his phone. No one needs to know his goals, it'd only invite meddling. No, he'll keep his plans to himself, it's easier that way.
The bus pulls up and entering it he finds his group of friends already chatting about the new school year.
“Craig! Tell these two me and Bebe are back together for good!” Clyde whined, looking for support against his two opponents.
Craig stares at Clyde for a brief moment before looking at the adjacent bus seat where Tolkien and Jimmy were snickering.
“Clyde and Bebe are back together for good,” Craig states with a drawn nasally sarcastic tone “Now move over.” He dropped his backpack onto the floor between his legs as soon as Clyde gave him enough room to sit.
“See I told you! Craig believes me!”
Tolkien shared a look with Jimmy before both started laughing again. “Sure, sure, okay. Let's make a bet, twenty dollars says you guys break up by Thanksgiving.”
“C-c-count me in o-o-on that one!” Jimmy snickered.
Clyde's face turned beet red when he spouts “Fuck you guys! Fine, twenty dollars!”
The bus halted at the next stop and Craig couldn't help but move his attention to the doors. The bus route hasn't changed much since they were in elementary school; the same students had been picked up and dropped off at their same locations without much deviation. This stop in particular has interested Craig for many years now.
As the bus doors opened, the glimpse of fluffy blond hair was caught. Followed by a pale face with a small frame, it was a shorter boy with porcelain-like skin, and emerald green eyes that shone different tones in the morning light. He wore a green flannel with a light gray hoodie underneath, his jeans worn and washed out with tattered holes on his knees. A black messenger bag slung across him with a multitude of patches, the strap being gripped by his fist as his eyes darted around scanning the crowd of people. Once the boy found the target of his gaze his eyes grew even wider, a smile spread across his face, making him more dazzling than any other sun. Yea, this sun was one that Craig could watch all day with no complaints.
The blond hurried toward the back of the bus walking briskly past Craig, meeting up with two other blonds by the names of Butters Scotch and Kenny McCormick. The trio united once again rambunctiously greeting each other. Play fighting and laughter could be heard coming from the back of the bus.
“Dude, you're staring again.” Clyde snapped Craig out of his trance, who then slumped into his seat with a defeated sigh.
“Yeah, well. Look at him.” Craig lowly grumbled as his other friends all give him a worried look.
“You know you c-c-could finally a-a-ask him out this year.” Jimmy pipes up with an open smile.
“Hell no, if he said ‘no’ I'd not only get humiliated but then everyone would know I'm gay.” Craig stared daggers at the back of the seat in front of him as he imagined what stupid Eric Cartman and stupid Stan Marsh would do with that knowledge. His shoulders tensed up, his heart beating a bit faster. “Besides, we haven't had more than a couple conversations with each other. I don't even think he knows my name.”
Craig's mind turned back to their first real conversation with each other. Back in the 6th grade, back before he had all these feelings, back before the glimpse of him made him forget everything around him existed.
—
The weather was dreary that morning, lightning flashed periodically and thunder rumbled throughout the cafeteria. Craig was sitting with his usual group of friends at a lunch table before classes started. They settled near a big window, Craig was leaning into the palm of his hand idly watching the rain fall. Listening to the metallic tings of the droplets on the overhang outside.
His eyes then latched onto a blond blur in the rain, advancing closer at a steady rate. As the blur approached, Craig registered it was a boy. When said boy reached the emergency exit door, that was only a few feet from where Craig was sitting, it didn't open. Jostling sounds of it trying to be open were heard. Craig shifted out of his chair, and pressed the door to unlock it from his side.
“You good? You're drenched.” Craig looked at the shorter boy with a slightly concerned upturned brow as he entered into the building.
“Huh? Oh ngghh no! I'm fine!” The blond beamed such a bright smile and giggled “My friends dared me to run a lap errr around the school in the rain.”
“Uh huh,” Craig said slowly, scanning the boy up and down with a puzzled look.
“Don't worry errr about it,” the blond laughed “Tweek by the way”
“Huh?”
“Tweek, that's my nnggh name.”
“Really?”
Tweek's head jerked to the side “Yes, really.” Darting his eyes away with a furrowed brow.
“You sure you don't need napkins or something?” Craig looks at the floor which now has a sizable puddle thanks to the small boy.
“I'm good, man. Thanks for opening the door though. I ack thought I was gonna be stuck out there.” With a quick nod Tweek happily leaves, a trail of water following. Sloshing steps fading away.
Craig watched him walk away still perplexed and also awed by this intriguing boy.
—
Ever since then Craig's eyes always found their way back to the boy. In the hallways between classes, glimpses after school of the blond running out of the building bouncing as his other two friends followed, in the mornings on the bus ride to school.
He was curious about him, and curiosity turned into intrigue, that turned into captivation, and inevitably into yearning. All the glances and seeking out for him led his friends to notice one by one.
Clyde was first to recognize his crush, the boy looked to Craig one day while at lunch and told him he had the same look of his own when he looked at his girlfriend. Craig denied it, oh how he tried to deny it. Gazing at Tweek from across the cafeteria was one of his favorite pastimes. On days that Tweek would skip out or eat elsewhere Craig would feel a void in his stomach; one that no lunch meal could fill.
Only a couple weeks later did Tolkien bring it up while they were walking to their class together, noting Craig's consistent shifting gaze as if he were desperately looking for something he had lost. Craig shrugged it off as best as he could. In reality, Craig had mentally mapped out what classrooms Tweek would come out from. He had some idea of his schedule, minus the sporadic absences the other boy had.
Lastly, Jimmy found out the roughest way. He was being assisted onto the bus by Craig after school. The instant Tweek came into view walking toward them, Craig froze up, loosening his grip on Jimmy without thinking. He apologized profusely after that but said he got distracted by the sun in a hurried excuse.
One evening, while all four of them were hanging out in Tolkien's room, they finally pulled it out of Craig. They had all shared their experiences and reassured him that if it was true he had a crush, it wasn't something they'd mind. Craig came to terms with it that night, spilling his guts and questioning what it really meant to like someone.
After that Craig let them know he had no intention of asking Tweek out, he was perfectly fine with just getting glimpses. He didn't want to make it a big deal and honestly though it went unsaid, his fear of rejection was too strong. As the years passed that fear grew more and more, so it became just a fact in the group. Craig had a crush on Tweek, they could talk about it but never push him to actually confess or ask him out.
—
The bus finally reached the school and everyone excitedly scrambled out. First day jitters were in full effect and contagious, Craig found himself being a little excited now while checking over his new schedule. He had most of his classes with Tolkien, a few with Jimmy, gym with Clyde and they all shared lunch together.
The day was straight-forward, it mostly consisted of introductions and going over the syllabus for the first semester. Once the last bell rang Craig informed his friends he wouldn't be taking the bus home this year. Craig had signed up to be a library assistant in hopes of boosting his college resume. He had been told to show up after school Monday through Friday and he would have to work in the mornings as well on Wednesdays and Fridays.
Parting ways he made it to the double doors leading to the library. It was relatively empty of people, but there were books lining the whole perimeter of the vast room. Several book cases were in the front entrance area. Toward the back of the library were six large rectangular desks, six chairs to a desk each. The back right of the library had several computer desks side by side, all on and ready to be logged in to. In the middle against the wall was the librarian's station; which Craig proceeded to walk up towards, noticing the librarian sitting there. She finished typing something out and after a few seconds the start up noises of the printer behind her started whirring.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Tucker” she greeted warmly, “I'm Ms. Greene, nice to formally meet you. I'll wait for the other student to get here, then we can start going over all the rules and responsibilities that are expected of you two.” She turned toward the printer, retrieving the handouts from the machine and handed one to Craig.
Craig let his backpack fall off his shoulder as he scanned over the sheet. “Someone else will be working here? Does it really get that busy?”
Ms. Greene snickered to herself. “Not so early in the semester but yes, come midterms you will be seeing a lot of activity around here.”
A few minutes passed while Craig silently read the handout more thoroughly to himself, then a loud bash from the main door interrupted the lull.
“GAH!! I'm so sorry I'm late! I errr got held back by the counselor!” The animated blond hurried to close the gap, nearly slamming himself against the front counter with guilt-ridden eyes toward the librarian.
“Shhh, it's quite alright Mr. Tweak, now settle down, this is a library remember?” She lightly scolded the blond.
Craig looked between the two, slowly registering what situation he had found himself in. Tweek was the other student the librarian mentioned. Tweek was going to be working with him everyday. They would be next to each other, everyday, sometimes twice a day.
He took a big gulp as he caught the green orbs that apologetically looked toward him now. His mouth had gone dry and slightly agape. A cold shiver ran down his spine and he felt as though his entire body had turned to stone from the eye contact. He felt a turning in the pit of his stomach.
He's gonna be sick.