Chapter Text
"We know now we want more; A life worth fighting for"
° ᭄
"You have everything?" the taller boy asks, standing at the door, hands on his hips.
"Yeah, I think so," Juhoon answers, looking around.
There are dust balls lingering in the corners, and the rug in the middle of the room is crooked. Every piece of furniture sits in its place: the desk, the chair, the bed, the bedside table, the drawer.
It's not like he's moving away.
This is just temporary.
"Well, if you forget something, we can always come by and get it later," the tall boy hovering at the door says.
We.
He adds, "Just don't forget your key."
The shorter boy standing in the middle of the space looks around once more, as if there was anything interesting to look at in the first place, and lets out a breath.
He turns to the other boy.
"Let's get out of here."
All he stuffed into his backpack was a change of clothes, a couple of books, his toothbrush, medication, keys, wallet, charger, and what. He'll survive just fine. He'll end up using his friends' stuff anyways. Martin said it's okay.
This is the day Juhoon kind of saw coming. His feelings about it were ambiguous, messy, as always. He tries to maintain a positive mindset, so bad it's borderline painful and at times feels fake.
He's moving to the dorm shared by his three friends. The decision may have been makeshift. Quick but functional.
Juhoon doesn't want to think about it too much though because he knows he'll start overthinking it. He tries to remain in the present and be grateful for it. The thing is, he really is grateful for his friends for-
He doesn't even know what. Everything? That's-
Well, that works.
Because this whole ordeal is kind of a matter of life and death, dramatics or not.
He just wishes his friends wouldn't make it a big deal. He knows that they can be... a lot, but he also knows that they aren't bad people and that they mean well. He struggles scaling the want to be treated normally and to let his issues be, and the want to be acknowledged and understood, dug into until his insides are out in the open.
"What, that's it? That's all you got?" he hears a voice greet him as he steps in.
He toes his sneakers off.
"What did you expect, genius? That he'd have every removable object in his dorm with him?" another voice greets him.
He stands there and watches the two, waiting for an opportunity to say something.
"You do realize that James-hyung still lives in that dorm too, right?" Seonghyeon says, eyebrows raised.
"Duh," Keonho tuts.
"Are you two done? Because if you're not, can you, like, move your asses and go somewhere else to argue so I can get through?" Juhoon questions, unfazed, backpack hanging off his shoulder.
"Do you even have your console with you, hyung?" Keonho questions, turning to his hyung, completely ignoring what was just said to him. "Damn, you look like shit, hyung."
Keonho receives a smack on his upper arm by Seonghyeon.
Keonho smacks him back.
"Gee, thanks, and yes, it's in Martin's car," Juhoon says.
Speaking of, the front door opens again, and Martin steps in carrying two bags of groceries, seemingly out of breath and struggling. Before he’s even had a chance to set the bags down and take a breather, he's called.
"Martin-hyung, did you get the console?"
Martin sets the bags down and straightens up, confusion visible on his face.
"What console?"
"My console. I left it in the backseat."
"Nah, I didn't."
"Oh, come on, can you go and get it?" Keonho pleads.
"Hell nah, I just climbed up five flights of stairs with these," Martin exclaims, gesturing towards the bags slumping on the floor. "Do it yourself."
"But you'll be the quickest since you have the longest legs," Keonho pleads.
"Shut up, I ain't going down now," Martin says, toeing his shoes off. "And I really need to unpack these; the ice cream is in a critical condition."
"Ugh, fine," Keonho inhales, slides into his slippers and makes his way out.
Seonghyeon disappears as well.
"I'll help you with those," Juhoon says to Martin, who's eyeing the two plastic bags on the floor and looking like he's contemplating how to make them pay back for making his palms sting and his back hurt.
"Oh, by the way," Seonghyeon reappears for just a second to pat Juhoon's shoulder once. "Welcome, hyung."
Juhoon can't even recall when, where and how Martin started having a role of a significant side character in Juhoon's life. At some point in elementary school Martin just started being a regular part of Juhoon's schooldays.
Juhoon doesn't think back to those days much.
He was always a dainty kid. A polite, pure, simple boy.
It's kind of embarrassing, Juhoon thinks. Because he really had the survival skillset of a rice cake. And of course, a little kid such as himself would get picked on. He knew he was an optimal target: dumb, defenseless, lonely.
It's not like there's been a dramatic change to those qualities.
That was until, at some point, Martin was suddenly there. Like it was natural. Like he had always been there. Filling up the space beside Juhoon with noise and chaos.
Juhoon knew Martin wouldn't save him though. He couldn't. The bullying didn't stop and when it eventually died out, it wasn't because of Martin. It went on throughout elementary school, lessened throughout middle school and vanished by the time high school started. It was there until it wasn't.
Juhoon is glad Martin was there though, nevertheless. Martin defended him, offered a shoulder to cry on and did anything to try and cheer Juhoon up. Martin was clumsy but confident, and somehow, that was what Juhoon needed.
They were side by side, naturally, all the way to university. They're still close, even though their friend group has expanded and they have built their own independent lives to live. It functions because they don't make a number out of it.
It's the little things that Juhoon tries to hold onto. Because that's better than nothing.
"So," Seonghyeon starts, putting down his chopsticks. "Does James-hyung know?" he questions, looking at Juhoon slowly chewing and then at Martin.
There's a subtle shift in the atmosphere. The air grows just a tad bit heavier, hanging like a fishnet in still water.
Martin glances at Seonghyeon.
"Know what?" he asks, dipping a small maki in soy sauce.
Seonghyeon glances at Keonho munching on a spring roll next to him.
"I mean," he starts slowly, unsurely. "Does he know that Juhoon-hyung is staying with us?"
There it is. Only one of Seonghyeon's endless questions audibly out in the open.
They all breathe for a moment. Martin glances at Juhoon quietly sitting next to him. Juhoon glances back, then at Seonghyeon.
"I'm not sure of what he knows and doesn't know," Juhoon shrugs, averting his eyes to the table in front of him. He keeps composed, face neutral though tired.
Martin clears his throat.
"I called him yesterday. It rang but he never picked up. I didn't call again," Martin says. "So no, he doesn't know.”
Seonghyeon nods.
"I told him to bring me those candies again that he brought me last time," Keonho says, taking a sip out of his cola can. "I don't know the name of them though."
Martin snorts.
"Of course you don't."
"When is he coming back by the way?" Keonho asks, looking around at them.
"Wednesday. You've asked the same question at least twenty times," Martin remarks.
Keonho huffs.
"So, hyung, you're gonna crash on the couch or," Seonghyeon questions, bringing the topic back to the present.
Juhoon glances at him.
"Yeah, that was the plan, but-,"
"Jju can crash on your room, Hyeon, since you're gonna crash Keonho's anyway," Martin says, smiling.
Seonghyeon's mouth falls open.
Keonho freezes mid-chew.
"Hey, hey, hey-,"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean, I'm not an idiot, guys."
"The couch is fine, really," Juhoon assures them. "I don't want to, you know, drive any of you out of your own rooms like a colonist."
"Nah, it's fine."
"Yeah, it's fine, hyung," Keonho says.
Seonghyeon nods. "Yes," he approves.
"Seonghyeon and I can sleep in my bed."
"Ye- Wait, what?"
"What happened to sharing is caring?"
"Guys, it's not like I've never slept on this couch before. Really, it's fine," Juhoon reassures them. "Just live your lives normally, like I'm not here."
That may have landed wrong.
They all blink at him.
Juhoon looks away.
He continues. "Thank you though, for, you know," he gestures around him with his hand. "This."
Martin smiles.
"Aw, Jju," he bumps the boy's shoulder with his own.
Seonghyeon and Keonho share a smile.
Martin goes on. "If you need anything, and I mean, anything, just say it, okay?"
Juhoon nods.
"Okay."
"Promise?" Martin holds up his pinky, looking at the boy next to him expectingly.
Juhoon wordlessly links his pinky with the other boy's.
He can't help the small smile forcing its way to his lips.
"What are you, twelve?" Keonho says and empties his cola can.
"Hey, that's a cute gesture," Seonghyeon answers back.
Juhoon exhales.
Martin snorts and goes back to the food in front of him. Cool, as always.