Chapter Text
To set the scene we open with a dusty town. Inside one of these buildings lay-
“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” A voice yells out from one of the windows.
And there they are, the protagonist of this little story. Luke. But where’s Mikalea you may wonder? She’s off in the tags, now, time for me and you to shut up and let them do the talking. (By that I mean time to switch to first person.)
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“Fuck! Son of a bitch!”
I look over at the chat window of the game I’m playing to see the message “pwnedstar20: get off Cod you POS can’t play for shit”
“Ok, fine fucker.” I say to myself as I switch my gun to a sniper and take a swig of Mountain Dew.
I headshot the kid. And he responds by typing in chat “Lucky shot”
I keep playing on, headshotting the kid a second later.
Chat message lights up again, “bitch.”
He respawns, this time I noscope’d the kid and the chat lights up again
“Fuvking hackar!”
I type back
“Learn 2 spell genius.”
Last kill of the match now,
“Screw it im gonna style on this guy.” I say to myself jumping for a 360 shot and hitting the kid square in the head before he could get a shot off.”
It cuts to the results screen with final kill and chat messages light up
“GG no re”
“Good game”
“Damn nice 360!”
“Die.”
But the kid that just got killed switched on a mic and starts blowing out the ears of everyone in the lobby
“Wouldn’t have won if you weren’t fucking camping! You fat little cunt!”
I wait for him to run out of breath before switching on my own mic and saying
“Xbox shut off”
The kid tries to respond “NO YOU PRIC-“
Pwnedstar20 has been disconnected
The chat lights up again and I switch off my mic
“WOW.”
“Lol!”
“LAMO LOL”
“Dick move ngl”
“Shut up that was halarious!”
That was fun, but I’m bored. I go to take a swig from my drink only to realize I’m out. I look away from my screen and get up to walk over towards my fridge.
I pass by some discarded clothes and chip bags.
“I should probably clean uppppp… but I don’t feel like it, I should though.
….
Maybe later.”
I grab a cold bottle of Mountain Dew out of the fridge and sit back down, everything mostly going without incident but I start feeling bored. Been doing this all day I feel hollow.
I go to try and play another game but it just ain’t doin it for me, I shut Cod and switch to CSGO but that ain’t doin it either, eventually I’m just idling on my Xbox dashboard looking up at the ceiling.
“ughhhhHHH-! I’m so booorrreeEED! Do I really have nothing to do?”
“I could clean, I could go out shopping I got paid afterall- but I don’t need any food- maybe a movie? Nah nothing good in. Web surfing?”
I think to myself bouncing my leg
“Yeahhhhh web surfing.”
I walk over to my desk with a drink and switch on my computer, booting up windows 9 and entering my password and being greeted by my desktop, some graphic of assasins creed.
“Why did I set it like that- oh right cause I didn’t feel like paying for one.”
I start checking my email by force of habit, some buisness emails from the lads. No new jobs though, good thing I get paid well. Couple of spam messages, “get money now! cal-“ “got a small co-“ “hello I am a siberia-“ I don’t even bother to throw them into the trash bin before going on the web and skimming around. New grounds didn’t have anything new posted. The usual from 4chan…. Goddamn is this really supposed to be the most boring day of all time-!?
I got bored enough to start skimming medical journals, required by my job in case something can be “preformence enhancing.” Like steadier hands, that sort of shit. nothing intresting was making itself apparent, something about these things called “vapes” being dangerous, studies into cancer and Alzheimers…
(I wrote this next section sweating my arse off at my cousin’s graduation ceremony [we were waiting for her])
Then I found a little something, I list of effects of a drug on some medical blog post and one caught my eye
“Shortened height, more emo..”
“Hey that’s a thought”
I said to myself
“Smoler body means smoler target! Plus I could probably get into more cheeky spots to snipe!” Said giddily to myself
I looked to see the name of the drug without even bothering to read the rest of the effects
“Alright, Est-ro-geen” (estrogen ya twit)
I sent off an email to the doc at my workplace about it
“Professional? Nah. But I probably won’t get hell for I’ll be finnnnnneeeee” I thought to myself before going back to being bored as shit.
…. YouTube got anythin good? Maybe a cod compilation would be good.
So I just did that for about an hour before I got a ping on my email, it was from the doc! A chat room link, clicking into it im met with the immidiantly message:
Harmacist: Luke, wtf?
B3STSN1P3R3VR: whaaaat? Just found something that could be helpful!
Harmacist: Luke half of the guys aren’t gonna take estrogen. Also it does way more than just make you shorter bruv.
B3STSN1P3R3VR: all drugs do way more than the main thing!
Harmacist: I- Yaknow what?
B3STSN1P3R3VR: wut?
Harmacist: I’m typing-
Harmacist: listen, Luke, by the terms of your contract with us any drugs for tactical advantage need to be tested by the person who recommends them. In this case that means you.
B3STSN1P3R3VR: alright bet.
Harmacist: I’m not done.
Harmacist: Usually, this is for a span of about two months, but since your a bit of a stubborn git, I’m making you take them for 8 months.
B3STSN1P3R3VR: WUT? Y!?
Harmacist: because you’re stubborn as shite and don’t wanna read fully. Now, do you wanna or not?
B3STSN1P3R3VR: fin3 Fin3 1 Wi11.
Harmacist: ok expect a shipment tomorrow, goodbye.
User: Harmacist has left the chat.
“Alright, doc IS gonna be hard on my ass.” I thought to myself
“But hey, what could possibly happen? I’m gonna be fine!” I said to myself.