Work Text:
Over a year since the accident, and Kong Studios still didn't feel like home.
2D woke up in his normal position, on his back, staring up at the ceiling of his room. The place was a wreck but he didn't care. Most people would clean up their room to keep a sense of pride and accomplishment. But to him, the room was nothing more than four walls, a roof and a floor. So why should he bother to keep it tidy?
He pushed himself upright in the bed, just slowly processing the fact he was conscious for yet another day. The pain immediately shot through his skull, the same pain that plagued him ever since it happened. Through his constant hazy vision he fumbled around on the nightstand until his hand found what he was looking for, the rattling sound confirming it.
The dose was supposed to be two a day, three only if it was a particularly bad day. It was meant to keep the constant ache in his skull down to a tolerable throb.
He took five, swallowing them with the stale water that had sat on the stand. It tasted like dirt.
The blurriness of his vision didn't fade, there was no helping that. Having eyes full of blood did that to a person. He could see enough to move around freely but every once in a while he would misjudge a step and go crashing into the nearest wall.
That's what happened this time. The moment he stood up from the bed he instantly miscalculated the distance between it and the nightstand, bumping into it right away. The sharp corner dug into his hip bone and stung like a bitch. He hissed in pain briefly before stumbling off to the bathroom.
He passed by his reflection in the mirror and hesitated, not daring to look. It'd been months since the last time he'd looked directly into it. 2D took a deep breath, deep enough that it almost made his lungs ache, before finally looking up at himself.
The blood in his eyes was such a dark red that it looked black. From a distance one could almost mistake him for not having any eyes at all. The outline of his pupils was only visible if he tilted his head just right. His hair was a mess but that was nothing new. Sometimes he wondered if he should dye it brown, to look more natural like it used to be.
Nah. Murdoc would rip him a new one.
Slowly the numbness from the medication finally hit, and his body relaxed slightly. He slouched forward, almost toppling onto the counter but he caught himself. He grabbed a shirt from off the floor, not even caring about if it was clean or not and pulled it over his head. Pants could wait until later.
After taking a piss he walked unsteadily out of the bathroom and out of his room completely, aiming for whatever was on the breakfast table in the kitchen.
He wasn't prepared for Noodle to be right outside his bedroom door.
"Chrissakes!" 2D yelped, flinging himself back against the wall. He hadn't been expecting her to be there.
Noodle just stared up at him silently, no trace of emotion on her face. 2D awkwardly stared back, not knowing what to say or even do. He wasn't really used to being around children.
"Um... hi...?" 2D said slowly. Noodle blinked, still no reaction of any kind.
"Did y'... need anythin' or...?" he tried again. Nothing. Honestly, he didn't know what he expected. The girl had only spoken one word since her arrival and it had become her moniker. He wasn't sure she even knew English.
Noodle slowly looked down and that's when 2D remembered.
Pants.
He yelped again, this time from embarrassment as his hands instantly flew to cover his nether regions, before throwing himself back into his room. For god's sake, there was a ten-year-old living in the studio now, he couldn't just go around half naked anymore! He smacked himself on the side of his head, muttering things like "bloody idiot" under his breath as he dug around the floor for anything to put on. He just flashed a little girl, granted he'd at least been wearing boxers, but now he felt like he was going to get put on some kind of list after this.
He came back out after finding a pair of jeans that weren't too rough. Noodle hadn't moved in that entire time.
"You uh... didn't see that, right?" 2D asked, pulling the zipper up.
Noodle barely acknowledged he was even speaking to him.
"Right. Sorry anyway," 2D said as he hurried away.
Good lord, that girl gave him the creeps.
He passed by Russel's room on his path to the kitchen, hesitating outside of the door. It was slightly ajar, and the drummer was moving around inside, doing something 2D couldn't make out. He gingerly nudged the door open a little further.
"Uh... mornin' Russ... you sleep alright?"
Russell turned around briefly and glared daggers at long-limbed man. A low grunt of irritation escaped his throat before going back to whatever he was doing. 2D sighed softly, he didn't know what he expected really. Russel had made it extremely clear he did not want anything to do with any of them. He'd only just arrived half a year ago after Murdoc had apparently kidnapped him at his job, some record shop in SoHo. 2D often wondered how that interaction had gone down. Russel was a large guy, and Murdoc wasn't exactly the muscle man he claimed to be in front of the ladies.
"D'you... wanna come join fer brekkie...?" 2D tried again. He wanted at least one person in this godforsaken building to not be outright hostile towards him. "I was gonna make eggs-"
Russel was in his face faster than he could process the sound of the footsteps. His expression twisted into a snarl that left 2D cowering.
"I want you to get one thing straight in that twisted little head of yours," Russel spat, gleaming white eyes burning with anger. "I ain't your friend. Ain't nobody in this building my friend. Only reason I'm still here, is cause you guys know how to lay down some pretty sweet tunes. But outside the music, you ain't nothing to me. So keep out my way, and we'll be just fine."
2D swallowed hard, backing away while nodding. "S-Sorry... didn't mean t'... sorry..."
Something flashed in those milky white eyes of Russel's, maybe a little bit of regret? But it was quickly replaced by anger and he backed up, slamming the door shut in 2D's face.
2D inhaled shakily, fingers curling and uncurling at his sides. Why did he even bother trying? Russel was right. No one in this place were friends. They were all there through a series of events curated by one man who believed the entire damn world was his playground.
He shuffled down the hallway to the kitchen, feeling low and defeated. Checking the fridge, he was thankful to find two eggs left. Guess it was a good thing Russel denied breakfast, otherwise he wouldn't have had enough. He took them out of the carton and cracked them open into a skillet he honestly didn't bother washing. Not like the water from the sink made any difference. It always tasted like dirt.
He'd gotten a little denser since the car rammed into his head, but at least he could still cook for himself. Small victories. After the eggs were finished cooking he turned off the stove and turned around to search for a plate to use. At that moment, the heavy clomp of footsteps entered the kitchen, and instantly 2D cowered into himself.
Murdoc was awake.
2D turned around just in time to see the raven-haired bassist pick the eggs out of the skillet (mind you, the pan still being fairly hot), and slurping them down one after the other. 2D exhaled in soft disbelief.
"Mmm. Good stuff there, Dents. Two things I can count on y' for, grub and that voice o' yers."
"That was th' last two eggs in th' fridge," 2D murmured softly. His stomach growled in retaliation for not receiving the promised food. Murdoc ran a hand across his mouth, wiping away flecks of spittle.
"Oh come offit, mate. Y' can always buy more."
"Ain't got no money on me..."
Murdoc rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Christ, Dents, y' always gotta make a big worry outta everythin'."
"Don't call me 'Dents'," 2D shot back. "'s not me name."
"Oh 'm sorry, you'd much rather prefer '2D', dontcha?"
"Don't call me that, neither! My name's Stuart, y'know that! Y've known it fer over a year!"
"Oh I know it," Murdoc said nonchalantly. "Sorry t' disappoint y' mate, but I just don't care."
2D clenched his hands into fists at his sides. "Yer a prick..."
"Been called worse, luv. Yer gonna 'ave t' learn t' do better than that."
Murdoc then put his hand on 2D's head and shoved him back hard, walking away with a cackle. 2D grunted when his head collided with the wall behind him, knocking his already half blind vision off center. A soft whimper escaped his throat at the ache that spread through his skull. His migraine had just died down, but now it was back and rampant.
Russel pushed his way past 2D as he entered the kitchen, looking for his own breakfast. He let out an irritated huff when he looked through the fridge.
"Thought you said we had eggs, 'D."
2D sniffled softly, trying to compose himself. "There was... there was only two left when I started cookin', but Murdoc ate 'em..."
Russel glanced back at him with a sneer. "Course he did. And what happened to you? Looking like a gust of wind will blow you over."
2D shook his head, not wanting to bother Russel with his issues. "Nuffin'... 'm alright..."
Russel looked him up and down. He seemed to soften his attitude some at noticing how down 2D was. "Sure as hell don't look it."
"'m fine, Russ," 2D snapped. "Dunno why yer askin', 's not like y' care, right? Like y' said, we're not friends."
Russel narrowed his eyes as 2D threw his earlier words back at him. He was starting to regret having said that before, he knew the poor guy was emotionally fragile as of late. You didn't even have to know 2D personally to come to that conclusion. And especially after the whole situation with Paula...
Russel sighed and jammed a hand into his pocket, pulling out some crumpled banknotes. He shoved them into 2D's hand roughly.
"Here. Go get some more eggs, on me. You can keep the change."
2D looked down at the banknotes, shocked at Russel's generosity. Knowing better than to speak again and possibly create another argument, he hurried out of the kitchen and out the front door of Kong Studios.
He didn't go outside often anymore. How could he? He looked like a freak now with his bloodied, blackened eyes and his missing front teeth. All the makings of you know who. At least when his hair had turned blue no one made fun of him then. All the kids at school actually thought it was dope as hell.
It took fifteen minutes to walk to the market. He wasn't really used to the Essex area, but he at least knew where the market was due to the fact he could see it from his bedroom window. Kong was on the top of a huge hill, and he often found himself sitting at the window, cigarette in hand, and staring down at the town below.
It was slow in the market that morning, all the better for him. Dealing with strangers staring at him was not how he wanted to start the day. 2D navigated his way down the aisles, searching for the cold items, but every which way he turned just brought him back to the bread aisle. God, he couldn't even find his way through a simple store.
"Can I help you, sir?" a lady in a store uniform asked from her spot, stocking cannned food. 2D immediately stiffened, turning his eyes downward and running a hand through his hair to cover them slightly.
"Yeh... um, th' eggs? Was wonderin' where they was..."
The employee smiled and pointed him down a ways. "Two aisles down, hang a right dear."
2D muttered a quiet "thanks" before hurrying off and following the directions he was given. He kept his eyes down the entire time.
Murdoc frequently claimed that the loss of his normal eyes was a gift. 2D never could see it that way. Ever since the accident, it was a constant source of dysphoria for him. Every time he looked into those black pits, he never saw Stuart anymore.
Stuart died in that wreck. 2D was the one who lived.
Now at the egg aisle, 2D realized just how many options there were. It was honestly overwhelming. Free-range? Organic? Should he buy a normal dozen or get extra since he was living with more people now? He wasn't built for decision making.
The employee from before had finished her job in the previous aisle and noticed him standing in front of all the egg cartons.
"You alright there, luv?"
"Huh?" 2D said softly. He noticed her presence and shrugged in response.
"Dunno which t' buy. 's a lot o' them..."
She took her own scan of the cartons and picked up a 24 count. "Here. That's th' brand I buy. Family loves 'em."
The tiniest hint of a smile crept onto his face at her help. "Oh, thanks. I don't really do much shoppin'."
As he reached for the carton from her, he made one fatal mistake.
He looked up.
The employee let out a startled yelp, dropping the carton. The eggs smashed all over the floor, yolks dripping every which way. 2D flinched back like he'd been struck, natural reflex by now.
"I-I'm so sorry, dear, I didn't mean- I just- I wasn't expecting-"
His breathing quickened at her stammered excuses. Freak. You're a freak. You scare people, you're just a monster, you shouldn't be out in public, why didn't you die in that dammed wreck-
Her expression softened as she noticed his obvious struggle. "Hey, easy now dear..."
Without even grabbing the eggs he'd come in there to buy, 2D took off like a bat of of hell, long legs carrying him in speedy strides. He had to get away, he couldn't be around people, he just couldn't-
He barreled into Kong thirteen minutes later, the doors smacking hard against the walls. The sound echoed like a gunshot had gone off. Russel, who'd eventually chosen a bowl a cereal for breakfast, looked up from where he was watching TV on the couch.
"'D-?" was all he got out as 2D sped past him. He stumbled into his room and slammed the door shut, locking it. He never locked his door, Murdoc wasn't too keen on it, but to hell with Murdoc. To hell with everyone.
He was spiraling. Hard. Probably the worst since he first moved into this hell hole. 2D was no stranger to panic attacks nowadays, but he typically knew how to calm himself down within a few minutes. Murdoc didn't like hearing his attacks, it was annoying.
This was different. It felt like everything was ripping its way through his heart at once. It wouldn't stop, it was determined to kill him. Why shouldn't it kill him? He should've died a year ago. Why the fuck did he have to wake up? Why was god cruel like this? Was his life just one long sick joke? Was he just a puppet on a string for people to play with? For Murdoc to do with as he pleased?
He wasn't sure when, but sometime in the last year he'd stopped being a person.
He was just a toy now.
2D wasn't sure when he'd stumbled into the bathroom, but all it took was one look in the mirror. One look at those inky pits he called eyes. One look at his missing teeth which, although it didn't affect his singing, made him sound like a toddler when he talked.
He stared for a long time at that mirror.
"I hate y'..."
It started soft, before he repeated himself, louder this time.
"I hate y'... I hate y'! I HATE YOU! I FUCKIN' HATE YOU!"
He was stuck repeating the same sentence over and over. He was screaming now at the mirror now, disgusted at the man who dared to look back at him.
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"
He grabbed the closest object he could touch, the hairbrush, and flung it at the mirror. It shattered into thousands of shards of course, and in that moment 2D swore he heard a car horn. He stumbled back and hit the wall, sliding down and hitting the floor. The glass shards on the floor dug into his legs but he didn't give a damn.
2D sat there, his breath coming in short panting bursts. He was tired. Physically, emotionally, so mentally tired. A thunk came from his bedroom door, likely Murdoc kicking it in irritation at the noise. It was accompanied by a muttered curse and the knob rattling.
"Oi! Dents! What'd I tell y' about locking th' door?!"
"Fuck off y' old twat!" 2D screamed back through tears, not moving from where he sat on the floor. There was another bang on the door in response.
"Th' fuck you jus' say t' me, y' little-"
Murdoc's words cut off with a yelp, and another voice, albeit muffled, joined it. Though 2D couldn't see or hear much of the conversation, he could tell it was Russel handling the situation.
What he could hear of the voices slowly faded off into the distance, and he was alone again. Eventually, he forced himself up, not bothering to do anything about the glass all over the bathroom, and he shuffled back out into his bedroom. He pretty much dropped like a stone onto his bed, a few stray tears still running down his fave but the sobbing mostly stopped. He was just numb now.
His hand found the door of the mini fridge on the floor next to his bed and he fumbled around a little before managing to open it, grabbing a cold bottle of beer out. He hit it a couple of times against the nightstand to pry the cap off, then took a long drink.
He could still remember the first time he'd ever had a beer. His dad had come home after a long day at work and cracked a cold one open in the garage. Stuart (not 2D, this was Stuart's memory) had only been ten years old. He'd come into the garage to ask his father for something and without much acknowledgement, the man had handed the boy one of his own.
"Yer growin' up there, Stuie. 's 'bout time y' had a drink like a man."
He remembered the words clearly. The drink was disgusting, but he'd finished the whole thing. His father had given him a proud slap on the back for that. Somewhere down the line, after the first head injury from the fall, he'd started drinking more and more to relieve the pain from his migraines. His mother did what she could, bringing him home painkillers from work to help, but when he ran out and she wasn't quick enough to get more, he drank.
Now the migraines were even worse, and he had to use both at the same time just to get enough relief.
Christ, he was pathetic. Even in his dense little head he could understand that.
Maybe it was for the best.
2D screwed off the cap of his medication and popped some in his mouth, not even bothering to count out the dosage. They went down roughly with a swig of the beer. The mental fog soon rolled in. There was only one problem.
He could still feel.
2D rolled the bottle in his hand. He had a pretty high tolerance by now, with a good decade of usage under his belt. He knew where his limit fell.
Limits were meant to be pushed, right?
He poured more pills out into his hand, swallowing them in clusters. His stomach twisted after each one. He finished off the first beer and popped open another, chugging it down. His vision swam by now as he rolled onto his back on the bed, staring wearily up at the ceiling.
He knew what this combination of drugs and alcohol could do. He was dense, but he wasn't completely stupid. He closed his eyes, smiling briefly at the thought of Murdoc's reaction.
Let him find another pretty boy singer.
The knocking on the door came unexpectedly.
2D's eyes flew open, his body jerking from the surprise of the sound. The movement made him tumble out of bed, landing on the hardwood floor. His knees throbbed from the contact.
Then everything came back up at once.
He barely grabbed the waste bin in time to hurl all the contents of his swirling stomach into it. The taste was vile, and it lingered for far to long. It stopped for just a moment, long enough for him to catch his breath, then another wave hit him hard.
Dammit. He couldn't even die correctly.
He finally finished throwing up, and glanced up at the clock. Murdoc should've been out by now. And what on earth could Russel even want? He managed to push himself up on shaky legs and stumbled over to the door, pulling it open. He didn't see anyone at first.
Then he looked down.
Noodle stood in the hallway in front of the bedroom door, just staring up at him. 2D arched an uneasy eyebrow. He barely interacted with this kid, what could she possibly want?
Noodle spoke a string of rapid-fire Japanese that 2D couldn't understand, then she held something up. He cocked his head slightly in even more confusion. It was a guitar, the acoustic one Murdoc had found in a pawnshop for her to use while they looked for a better electric one. The one she had arrived with hadn't been in the greatest condition, it's final song having been the solo she impressed them all with and earned her place in the band.
Noodle said something else in Japanese, then gestured to her guitar again. Upon closer inspection, 2D noticed the snapped high E string.
"Oh... y' snapped a string."
Noodle nodded, then gestured to the string again.
"Do y'... need a new pack?"
Noodle smiled excitedly and nodded her head. Though she couldn't speak English just yet, she was able to understand parts of what the others said. She held the guitarout towards him.
"Okay... prolly got some spare strings somewhere's..."
He backed up into his room, legs still wobbly, stomach still churning, vision swimming. Fuck, coming down from near-death was a bitch.
2D opened one of the drawers to his nightstand and dug around in it. He finally found a pack of unopened strings and pulled them out, holding them out to her.
"'ere. Ernie Ball's. Dunno if it's the kind o' gauges y' use, but it's all I got."
Noodle took the package of strings and just stared silently without moving. 2D was starting to get antsy now.
"Tha's all y' needed, right...? Y' can go now."
Noodle raised her eyes back to him, then held both the guitar and the strings out towards him.
"Whaddya want now? Look, 'm kinda busy at th' moment-"
Noodle huffed softly, holding the guitar and strings out to him again. She was frustrated, that much was clear.
"Wot, y' don't know 'ow t' change out th' strings of a guitar?"
Her shoulders slumped slightly, expression downcast. 2D sighed softly in understanding.
"Huh... 'ow about that... can play a killer solo, can't even change th' strings."
He ran a hand down his face, wiping away a stray string of drool that he hadn't known was there.
"Fine. I'll change yer strings fer y'. But then y' gotta lemme alone, alright?"
Noodle grinned, big and toothy. 2D couldn't help but smile back at her. Maybe this kid wasn't half bad.
He took the guitar and the strings and sat down on the edge of his bed. Noodle parked herself right next to him, watching curiously.
"I'll change 'em fer y', but 'm gonna show y' 'ow t'. That way fer next time, y' don't hafta come runnin' t' anybody fer help."
Noodle nodded eagerly, then watched him with intense focus.
"Okay. Firs' thing y' gonna do is loosen th' tension on th' other strings. That way when yer gonna go cut 'em t' replace 'em, they don't snap up an' hit y' in th' face. That really smarts, I know."
Noodle giggled softly, the noise hitting 2D's heart. The smile from earlier was finding a permanent home on his face as he continued his explanation.
"An' 'm sure y' know this, but th' thickest string is gonna be on th' end that faces y', so y' gonna go down from that. So thickest string, all th' way down to th' thinnest string."
Noodle nodded again. "E, A, D, G, B, E."
"Yeah," 2D said. "Tha's it, th' normal tunin' fer a guitar."
He carefully replaced all six strings, then stuck the bridge pins back in place.
"Don't forget to properly push th' bridge pins back in place. I didn't once an' when I started tunin' th' they went ev'rywhere, like this."
He stretched his arms out and waved them around while making a silly sound to accompany the movement. Noodle laughed and bounced on her spot on the bed. 2D laughed with her, the laughter actually genuine.
He couldn't remember the last time he laughed.
Once the pins were in place he started turning the pegs to tune the guitar.
"'s been a while... never was good at ear tunin' anyway."
Noodle took the guitar from him and started messing with the tuning pegs. It only took a couple of minutes, but then she strummed and the instrument was in perfect tune. 2D hummed softly in encouragement.
"Lookit that. Got a good ear then, eh?"
Noodle nodded, strumming again. 2D sat in silence, watching and listening to her play a few practice chords. She would pause every few seconds to recalibrate the tuning, then would start strumming once more. It wasn't anything majorly complicated, but it was pretty sound.
"Lovely tune," he said softly. Noodle didn't look at him this time, but smiled at his compliment. 2D tapped his fingers against the bed to the music, humming softly.
"Too-dee," Noodle suddenly said, stopping her playing. 2D's breath caught in his throat.
"Huh...?"
"Too-dee," Noodle repeated, pointing at him.
2D didn't say anything for a long moment, thinking hard. She had never said any of their names before.
"Actually, my name's-"
He cut himself off. If he said his name was Stuart, and the others continued to call him "2D", it would only confuse her more. But god, did he hate that name. He sighed in defeat.
"Yeah... tha's me name. 'm 2D."
Noodle exclaimed something in Japanese before pointing at him again. "Too-dee, onii-chan!"
The older man cocked his head at that, not understanding the word. "Onee.. chane...?" he tried to repeat unsuccessfully.
"Too-dee, onii-chan!"
2D finally just shrugged. "Well, I dunno wot that means. But at least it doesn't sound like an insult."
Noodle returned to her playing soon after that, playing the same chord progression from before in a simple, looping pattern. 2D started humming along again, looking around the room. His Casio was sitting across the room, catching his eye. He got up briefly to grab it before sitting back down on the bed, turning the instrument on. As Noodle continued her simple song, 2D added a few notes of his own, provided by the Casio.
"Won't you buy me... piano chord dictionary..."
He hummed softly after singing the made-up lyrics. He repeated his little piano bit, before switching to different sounds.
The next line slipped out, but he continued to sing softly.
"Want to be free... want to be free..."
Noodle nodded along to the music. "One too-dee three."
2D couldn't help but chuckle at her misheard lyric.
"Want to be free... One 2D three..."
A soft sigh escaped his lips.
"I'm 2D... won't you buy me... piano chord dictionary..."
The two continued their song together, for once uninterrupted by the world, by Murdoc, anyone.
"One 2D three... One 2D three..."