Chapter Text
She found him splayed across the couch. Anyone could have been forgiven for thinking he was dead.
She couldn’t blame him. The last few days had been gruelling for everyone, but especially for him. He’d been working himself to the bone, burning the candle at both ends. As usual, trying to make sure everyone else was safe. Damned how he ended up, so long as everyone else was still breathing.
Particularly her.
He always made just a little more of a fuss over her than anyone else. When he’d been an annoying but charming teenager, it had been obvious, just a boyhood crush. A need to impress her. To swoop in and save her. His own version of a knight in shining armour. He never seemed to realise she’d never needed one.
But recently, it felt different. More personal.
Every touch between them seemed to stretch for just a second more. Their shared glances lingered. Eyes held for a fraction longer than they should. She found herself really seeing those azure eyes, the same ones she’d so often caught watching her.
Now, she wanted to look back.
That alone should have told her something had changed. That she had changed.
But the moment always passed. Something else demanded her attention. It always did.
He had one eye pressed into his forearm, using it as a makeshift pillow. His other arm dangled off the side, fingers brushing against the cold, grated metal floor. He looked peaceful, if not a little uncomfortable.
Sabine glanced around. Hera and Kanan were in her room, talking, she hoped. Zeb was in his and Ezra’s room, doing who knows what. And Chopper… she didn’t know. Right now, she didn’t care.
She wanted to make him feel comfortable. Safe. It's about time she returned the favour without teasing him for needing the help or for getting himself into a stupid situation. Now she can just, help him, care for him.
He’d gotten to her.
She picked the blanket up from the floor, no doubt shoved off by Ezra in his sleep, and gently placed it over him, just up to his shoulders. Seeing him this close, she began studying him.
Those two scars on his left cheek, he hated them, always tried to cover them up. She wouldn’t ever forget how much he blushed when she said she liked them. As much as she missed his long locks, the short hair had grown on her recently. It let her see more of that face. Sabine shook her head, as if trying to shake the thought loose.
It didn’t work.
She contemplated picking up his arm, placing it next to him. But the way he lay forced it to hang. Even knowing it wasn’t possible, Sabine still reached for his hand.
Why?
Why was she suddenly so desperate to see him, feel him, comfort him? She certainly wouldn’t be this bold and forward if he was awake.
Her fingers curled around his, gently lifting them. The cold floor had sapped any heat from them. They were soft, softer than she expected. Clean, but marked by years of running and close calls. A few light scars peppered the back of his hand. Carefully, she traced them.
Every. Single. One.
It wasn’t until her thumb began to move, slowly, absentmindedly, that she realised how far she’d let this go. Not wanting to wake him, she placed his hand back down, careful, controlled.
Lovingly? No, no of course it wasn’t that.
It couldn’t be, Sabine wouldn’t allow it.
There was no time for anything like that. There was a war going on, she was too young.
It’s not that she had never thought about that. Late nights. When sleep wouldn’t come. Her mind would wander, aimlessly. She wasn’t clueless. She knew what it was. She’d seen it, lived with two people in it.
Lately, she’d felt it. That hollow feeling again.
She’d seen Hera and Kanan grow more open, more unguarded. Heard Hera call him “love” more than once now. Seen what it did to them. Like a silent language only they spoke. A small world no one else could enter. Only few were allowed brief glimpses into it
It seemed nice.
Safe.
But Sabine couldn’t be thinking about that. Who would it even be?
Ezra
The answer came before she could stop it. And she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.
Before she could follow that thought any further. The sound of Chopper entering broke her from her trance. Bleeping about how he’s the only one who does anything around here. Before she could even turn to greet him, he asked why she was kneeling beside Ezra.
She stumbled over an excuse about cleaning up the mess he made with the blanket in his sleep. Chopper eyed her silently for a few moments. She felt her face warm. But he seemed satisfied with her answer.
Or bored. He left for the cockpit.
She turned back to Ezra, allowing herself just a few more moments to watch him sleep before retiring to her quarters.
--
Despite being completely exhausted like everyone else, sleep eluded her. She turned from side to side, throwing off and reapplying the blanket for what felt like hours.
Her thoughts circled one thing,
One boy.
A man now, something she was constantly being reminded of on missions. He’d become capable. Steady. He’d grown into himself.
And his features…
There she went again. Her mind reaching, trying to follow that thought. But she wouldn’t allow herself to.
At least not consciously.
Sleep was difficult to come by that night. Dreams, however…
Dreams of him. They Came in droves.