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Spring has finally returned to Asgard after a particularly harsh winter, and with its arrival, new life is growing everywhere. Fresh leaves are sprouting on every tree, the fields are turning green again, flowers are blossoming, and in their wake the bees have emerged from their winter nests and are flitting about in the royal garden once more. In the forest the birds have begun to nest, and all around the country the animals are bringing forth their young. It’s a cycle as old as time itself, but unbeknownst to most of the Asgardians, this one is special, because new life is also growing within their royal family. Though it has been noted by many a member of court lately that the crown prince of the realm seems to be walking on air these days, none have managed to uncover the reason for it just yet – and nor will they, if his husband gets his way (which he usually does, that much has been well established by now). Luckily, this is a secret Thor is more than happy to keep for a little while longer. He might have made it a bit easier on himself, however, if he could manage to hold back some of the joy that is practically bursting out of him these days, but then again, why would he ever want to? The Norns have blessed him in ways he wouldn’t even dare to dream about, and he’s not going to risk their retribution by being unappreciative. Not only has he been given everything he’s ever wanted for himself; his realm is also prospering. A new treaty with Svartálfheimr, their enemy of old, is well underway, and will offer new opportunities for revenue as the trade between their kingdoms expands. Loki is the one who orchestrated it, who persuaded King Reidmar to strengthen the ties between their realms, and he’s been leading the committee tasked with drawing up the legal documents. But for the past two weeks, he’s been less present, disappearing for hours at a time with no explanation. Not that anyone would dare to demand one – the prince is free to come and go as he pleases, and answers to no one but the king. But unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for said king to take notice as well, and as is his privilege, he doesn’t delay in making inquiries. Thor is in the west wing of the castle one afternoon, working on the treaty in his husband’s stead, when Odin arrives and promptly dismisses the handful of clerks assisting the prince.
“Where is your brother? He promised to take a look at those for me,” Odin says, nodding at the stack of papers on Thor’s desk that he’s currently sifting through.
“He’s resting,” Thor says, still focused on the document in his hand.
“He’s been resting a lot lately,” Odin comments.
“Mm.”
“Is there a reason for this… fatigue?”
They both know what he’s really asking, but Thor is under strict instructions regarding the subject, so he has no choice but to be evasive.
“I suspect he’s overextended himself. We’ve all been busy lately, but you know he’s especially loath to take breaks until he’s forced to.”
It’s not really a denial, which is probably the only reason Odin doesn’t force a more direct answer out of him.
“Will we see you for dinner tonight?” he asks instead.
“I’m not sure. I’ll check with him.”
“Please do. Your Mother has been asking after you both.”
It’s not difficult to translate that particular statement – this is their last chance to appear of their own volition, or Frigga will take matters into her own hands – and Thor does his best to hold back a grimace.
“In that case I’ll go see him at once. I’ll send a messenger along with our answer,” he says.
Odin claps his shoulder in approval and leaves him to it, and Thor quickly scribbles down a few notes for the clerks on a piece of parchment before he follows his father out the door. Soon after he slips into his and Loki’s bedchamber on silent feet, closing the door softly behind him so as to not wake his husband. Loki is fast asleep on the bed, curled up on his side with one hand resting on his rounded stomach, protective of the new life that’s growing in there even in sleep. Six moons have passed since their child was conceived, and it’s no longer possible to hide the good news under layers of clothing, so Loki has resorted to spellwork instead whenever they’re around other people. It takes a lot of energy out of him, on top of the already tiring work of growing and sheltering their child. More than once Thor has tried to convince him that perhaps it’s not worth the price to keep the pregnancy hidden much longer, but to no avail. His husband is a stubborn man, so for now only Thor is allowed this sight; to watch Loki’s body change to make room for their child as it grows bigger and stronger by the day. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever witnessed, and it makes him increasingly sentimental, to Loki’s great amusement or ire, depending on the day. So for a moment he just stands there and drinks in the peacefulness of the scene in front of him. But it’s impossible to resist participating in it for long, and he soon slips into bed and lies down on his side behind Loki, placing an arm gently over his waist so he, too, can rest his hand on his husband’s stomach. Loki stirs awake with a sharp inhale, but relaxes again when the haze of sleep clears enough for him to realize that he’s in Thor’s arms.
“’time ‘s it?” he slurs.
“Almost dinnertime.”
“Damn. I lost the entire afternoon.”
“Don’t worry, I covered for you.”
Thor brushes his lips down Loki’s neck in a trail of soft kisses until he reaches his shoulder, where he has to pause to push away a few stray curls of dark hair before continuing. Loki sighs contentedly.
“That feels nice, but I have work to do. Father asked me to look over the new treaty and-”
“Nothing is more important than what you’re already doing,” Thor says, and Loki lets out a derisive snort.
“What, wasting away in a bed?”
“You’re making an heir, so one could argue that in resting you are actually fulfilling our dynastic duties–”
“If this is another underhanded attempt to convince me to go into confinement before the birth–”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, you’ve already made your feelings about that topic quite clear–”
“Good, because–” Loki cuts himself off with a soft gasp, and Thor is sitting up before he knows it, ready to bolt through the door in search of a healer.
“What is it, is something wrong?” he asks frantically, but then Loki takes his hand and places it back on his stomach, where he can feel the flutter of movement. He sighs in relief and sinks back down to resume his earlier position.
“I think our bickering woke him up,” Loki says, laughing softly, and Thor grins.
“Are you still so sure that it’s a boy?” he asks.
“I know it is.”
Thor hums thoughtfully. The fluttering under his palm disappears and he strokes his hand along the rounded curve of Loki’s stomach in an attempt to find it again, but before he does, Loki turns around in his arms to face him. He looks tired still, his face a little drawn and paler than usual, but his eyes are glowing with happiness.
“Hello,” Thor murmurs, lifting his hand to cradle his husband’s face lovingly. Loki smiles and leans in, as if to kiss him, but instead he stops right before their lips connect and whispers:
“Shall I tell you a secret?”
And that won’t do; Thor hasn’t kissed him since this morning so anything else can wait, and he closes the remaining distance between them and gives Loki a tender kiss.
“Tell me a secret,” he says when he pulls back.
“I have seen him.”
It takes a beat for the words to sink in, and when they do, it feels like they steal all the breath from Thor’s lungs.
“You’ve seen our son?” he whispers.
Loki nods, beaming.
“How? When?”
“The first time was on Vanaheimr, before our wedding. Freyja took me to an ancient well in the forest behind the castle. According to legend it was filled with water from Mímisbrunnr, and it’s been known to reveal truths to those who come searching for answers. I looked down at the surface of the water and saw glimpses of our future. And there he was.”
“And he’s… alright? He’s healthy and-”
“He’s perfect, my love.”
“Of course he is,” Thor says, grinning even as a few tears leak from the corner of his eyes, “you made him, how could he be anything less than perfect.”
“Well, I did have a little help,” Loki concedes, smiling softly as he swipes his thumbs across Thor’s cheeks to catch the droplets that are making their way down his face.
“Did you see anything else? Shall we have a daughter, too?”
Loki laughs.
“Let’s make sure our son is delivered safely before we start planning for his siblings.”
“So you did see her? How many will we–”
“I thought you weren’t looking for a broodmare?” Loki teases, referencing Thor’s proposal, and he smiles guiltily.
“Well, that was before I knew how irresistible you look when you’re carrying my child.”
“Flatterer.”
“It’s true. I wish the rest of the world could see it, too.”
“You just want to stake your claim on me in front of the court.”
“That would be an added bonus, yes, I won’t lie.”
Loki shakes his head fondly. Then, after a beat, his expression turns more somber.
“I’m not ready yet,” he whispers, and Thor’s heart clenches painfully with guilt. He leans in to give Loki a soft kiss in apology.
“I’m sorry, my love, I don’t mean to push.”
“It’s alright, I know we can’t hide it forever. It’s just… once the news are out there’s no going back. People will see me in a different way. Invasive speculations will be whispered in my vicinity. All eyes will be on my body as it changes, which is already a complicated thing for me. And I dread the careless remarks and callous jokes that will be made at my expense.”
“I’ll slay anyone that would dare use their tongue to such a purpose,” Thor says, which brings a faint smile to Loki’s face.
“While the sight of you going on a killing spree would undoubtedly be enjoyable, as the future king it may not be the best path forward for you. Besides, I can bear whatever comes. Gossip and curious looks are barely a hardship compared to what we’ve endured before. And our son is worth any discomfort. I just need a little more time.”
“Anything you want, you shall have,” Thor says, and Loki smirks.
“I’ll remember that for later.”
“Please do.”
Thor kisses him again to seal the deal, then rests their foreheads together, closing his eyes and enjoying a moment of quiet comfort. There hasn’t been enough of them lately. After a while Loki starts shifting around uncomfortably, and Thor leans back to look him in the eyes.
“Is he moving again?”
Loki nods, and Thor quickly rearranges their pillows so Loki can sit up and rest his back against them. It leaves his stomach more accessible, and Thor moves down a little so he’s facing the rounded swell of it. He puts a hand under Loki’s shirt to feel the warm skin underneath, then glances upwards in search of approval before he proceeds, which is granted with an indulgent nod. He grins and pushes the loose shirt upwards and out of the way, revealing the entirety of their little secret to the room. When he presses his palms back against the naked skin, he instantly feels the swirl of movement from within. He leans in to place a kiss there, then lingers to murmur words of praise and encouragement to the little boy on the other side. Loki’s hand lands in his hair and starts stroking through it, and they share a loving look.
“When you spoke of the well on Vanaheimr you said it was the first time you saw our son, does that mean you’ve seen him more than once?” Thor asks, and Loki nods.
“He comes to me in my dreams from time to time. During our honeymoon it was almost every night. I think he was eager to be conceived. Impatient, like his father.”
“Not too impatient, please. You must wait to join us until you’re strong and ready,” Thor whispers to the bump.
“Don’t worry, he won’t arrive until it’s his time. I wouldn’t allow that,” Loki reassures him.
“When will that be, do you think?”
“I think he’ll be born around the time the leaves change color again, but before the autumn winds sweep them away.”
“Still a while off, then,” Thor sighs, and Loki smiles.
“Impatient, like his father,” he repeats teasingly.
“I’m not impatient, it’s just that he’s been wanted for a long time.”
“We’ve been married less than a year, my love, it usually takes longer to produce an heir.”
“I know. But I think I wanted this from the very first time I had you, before you left for Vanaheimr,” Thor admits, resting his cheek against Loki’s stomach as he looks up at him. “I, too, used to dream about it, even before I knew it was a real possibility. But I never dreamed beyond this, I never got to see our child be born. Do you think that means something? Is it a bad omen?”
“No,” Loki murmurs, stroking his cheek gently. “Sometimes dreams are just visions of our unexpressed desires. But my dreams are connected to my seiðr, so they’re different in nature. That’s why I can See him more vividly than you could.”
“And you’d tell me, if something were to go wrong?”
“Of course. But nothing’s going to happen, my love. I promise.”
Thor turns his head to place a kiss on Loki’s palm, then sits up so they’re level again.
“I think Father suspects. He asked for you today,” he says.
Loki huffs, amused and annoyed all at once.
“I’m sure he knew before I did. And Mother, too.”
“Do you really think so? Wouldn’t he have said something if he did? It’s not like him to be tactful.”
“Mother probably keeps him in check.”
“Probably. Do you think perhaps… you’d like to speak to her about all this soon? She’s been through it herself, maybe she has some advice to offer?”
He realizes at once that he has overstepped when Loki’s expression goes blank the way it does when he shuts down and withdraws inward. Thor reaches for him but it’s too late; Loki is already off the bed and then across the room where he stops in front of the large wardrobe and starts rifling through it mindlessly while he deliberately keeps his back to Thor.
“I don’t need advice,” he says quietly, but Thor can see even from afar that he’s trembling slightly. He wishes he could go over and take him into his arms, but he knows very well that if he tried to do so now, it would only make things worse. So instead he takes a deep breath and keeps his voice soft when he speaks again:
“I’m sorry. I only meant that this is new territory for us, and-”
“It’s my body,” Loki interrupts him. “I’m the one carrying him and keeping him safe.”
“Of course you are, my love, and you’re doing so well-”
“And I’ve been to the midwife, as per your request, and she agrees with me that all is as it should be. Or do you not trust me to take care of our child?”
The words don’t be ridiculous are at the tip of his tongue, but thankfully he manages to hold them back. It’s been a while since their last argument, but this isn’t the first time Thor has realized just how scared and uncomfortable Loki is with this pregnancy. Which is why he’s been trying to convince him to speak to someone who understands what he’s going through, but it seems that he has acted prematurely yet again.
“I just want you to feel safe and supported,” Thor pleads with him, “I don’t know what it’s like to bring a new life into the world, and neither do our friends. But Mother does.”
“It’s different,” Loki says, so quietly that Thor almost misses it.
“Because she’s a woman?” he asks tentatively. Loki doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t lash out or bolt either, so Thor knows he’s getting close. He weighs his next words very, very carefully, then asks:
“Because she’s Æsir?”
Loki is silent for a long while. It takes every piece of restraint Thor has to remain where is and wait him out.
“They’ll know,” Loki finally whispers. “When we announce the pregnancy, they’ll know I’m jǫtunn-born. And they’ll despise me.”
The devastation in his expression when he turns around is the final drop; Thor is on his feet and across the room before he can think better of it. He cups Loki’s face between his hands and looks at him with all the love he can muster.
“I don’t despise you,” he says fervently, and Loki’s eyes fill with tears.
“But–”
“You are a prince of this realm; you are the chosen son of the King and Queen. And you are my husband and future consort. You outrank them all, regardless of the circumstances of your birth. You are far, far above them in every way.”
Loki shakes his head, both in denial and to break free from Thor’s hold.
“Not in their eyes, to them I’m the monster they tell their children about at night. They’ll think I’ve ensnared you through sorcery, corrupted their golden prince–”
“So your secret’s out, little witch,” Thor whispers, which finally makes Loki laugh, if only for a moment. Then his lower lip wobbles, like he’s about to start crying again, and Thor quickly leans down to give him a kiss. It’s a little salty from the tears, so Thor keeps kissing him until the taste is completely gone. When he pulls away, he takes Loki’s hands and presses them against his chest, over his heart.
“You have indeed ensnared me, my love, body and soul,” he says, “and I thank the Norns for it every day.”
“Our people may not.”
“Then they’re lucky I’ll be king one day. I’ll make sure they learn the errors of their ways.”
Loki’s lips stretch into a faint smile.
“That sounded like a threat. I’m impressed,” he says. He withdraws his hands from Thor’s hold, then leans in so he can rest his head against Thor’s chest instead.
“I’m sorry,” he says, sighing deeply. “I know you mean well.”
Thor puts his arms around him and leans down to press a kiss to the top of his head.
“I wish I could free you from this shame,” he says quietly.
“I know. Maybe one day,” Loki murmurs.
They end up declining their parents’ invitation to dine with them. Loki is still tired, so after an early dinner they go to bed, though neither of them have an easy time trying to fall asleep. Loki seems to slip in and out of restless dreams, tossing and turning from side to side in constant search of a comfort that is getting harder and harder to find these days. Eventually, he ends up curled up against Thor’s side with his head pillowed on Thor’s arm, and he finally falls into a deep sleep just as Thor is about to lose feeling in his hand from how long he’s been trailing his fingertips up and down Loki’s back in an attempt to lull him to sleep. He wriggles his arm free, carefully so as to not undo his good work, then lies awake for hours, listening to Loki’s even breathing and racking his brain for ways to make the upcoming moons as comfortable as possible for him.
*
The solution comes to him about a week later. He goes to his Father at once, eager to set his plan in motion, and finds him in the throne room. He’s speaking to a few of his councilors, and Thor patiently waits his turn as they finish up their conversation. Once Odin has dismissed them and they’ve left the room, Thor kneels in front of Hliðskjálf and waits for permission to rise before he speaks.
“I would like your blessing to take my husband away from court for some time. I know we have duties to attend to, but I’m concerned about his well-being at the moment. I think a break would do him good,” he says.
Odin ponders this for a good long while.
“Very well, you have my leave to go.”
Thor blinks in surprise. He’d prepared for a fight, but this turn of events is not unwelcome.
“Thank you. We’ll go to Vanaheimr, unless he objects.”
“I thought as much. Give our love to your cousins.”
“I will.”
He turns to leave, but Odin halts him by calling his name.
“Yes, Father?”
“It’s important that the child be born here,” Odin says, and Thor’s eyes widen.
“How long–”
“For the sake of legitimacy, it’s important that the people see that your consort is with child, and that the child is born in this castle. You understand that, yes?”
His tone is gentle, but there is no room to mistake his command for a suggestion. This is not a father offering guidance to his son; these are the king’s terms to his subject’s request. Thor bows his head in a respectful nod.
“I understand,” he says. “We’ll be back before it’s time.”
*
He looks for Loki next, but it takes a while to locate him. He finally finds him on the balcony outside their parlor, lounging in a large chair with his head tipped back and his eyes closed, dozing in the warm sunrays that have blessed their farmers these past few days. Thor kneels down beside him and touches his shoulder gently to wake him.
“I’ll just be a minute,” Loki mumbles.
“You’re not needed anywhere right now, I just wanted to tell you that I’ve had an idea,” Thor says.
“What’s that, my love?”
“We should go away for a while. Would you like that?”
Loki rubs at his eyes and moves to sit up properly, brow furrowed in confusion.
“What, now?”
“Yes. I don’t want you to hide yourself away. I want you to be comfortable and free and happy. So let’s go back to the place where you last felt that way.”
A beat passes, then he looks up at Thor with an expression that is equal parts disbelief and hope.
“You mean Vanaheimr?” he asks.
“Yes.”
The word is barely out of Thor’s mouth before Loki’s on his feet, grasping the fabric of Thor’s shirt with both hands.
“Oh, Thor, do you mean it? Do you really think we can go?”
“I’ve already spoken with Father, and he’s given us leave to go. We can travel as soon as you’d like.”
Loki lets out an incredulous laugh and pulls Thor into a series of kisses until they're both smiling too much to continue.
*
They delay their departure for a few days so their cousins on Vanaheimr can have advance notice of their arrival, although Thor knows very well that they would never be unwelcome. Freyja’s reply to Loki’s letter confirms that their presence has been longed for since their last visit, and she bids them come as soon as possible. Their attendants are given the green light to start packing their traveling chests, while the princes make arrangements to ensure that their duties are tended to and that their household runs smoothly while they’re away. On the eve before their departure, Loki surprisingly announces that he intends to seek out their mother for a conversation, and when Thor offers to go with him, he politely declines. He’s gone for hours, and Thor tries not to fret while he waits. When Loki returns, he looks content and at peace, and walks into Thor’s waiting embrace with a soft smile on his face. They hold each other for a long while, then Thor kisses his temple tenderly.
“Good?” he asks, and Loki nods. “I’m glad. Let’s go to bed.”
It speaks to the level of Loki’s continued exhaustion that he does not argue against Thor arranging for a carriage to take them down to the Bifröst the next morning, rather than their horses. These days that decision could have easily been met with vehement protests and yet another reminder that in case Thor has forgotten, his husband has neither gone lame nor lost his wits due to his pregnancy, which means that he's more than capable of continuing on as he always has, and so on and so forth. But today he even allows Thor to hold his hand and help him dismount from the carriage when they reach the Bifröst, and they walk arm in arm over to where Heimdall is waiting for them.
“Your Highnesses,” Heimdall greets them with his head bowed. His amber-colored eyes rest on Loki’s stomach for a split second before they flit back up to his face, and Thor can feel Loki stiffen beside him in nervous anticipation. No spell has been cast today to shield their child from view, as they left the castle too early for any members of court to see them off, and where they’re going there will be no need to hide. As for the guardian in front of them, they both know all too well that such a precaution would not be enough to deceive his all-seeing eyes in any case. But there is no judgement to be found in his expression now, only a soft, knowing smile.
“You look well, my prince,” he tells Loki, and Thor feels his husband relax noticeably; his grip on Thor’s arm loosening.
“Thank you,” Loki whispers.
“Take care of yourselves while you’re away. I’ll keep an eye out for you. Are you ready to go?”
Thor pulls Loki closer so he can keep a protective arm around his waist as they travel through space, then nods for Heimdall to send them on their way. Seconds later, they arrive on Vanaheimr in a flash of rainbow light. Once it fades and they regain their bearings, Thor quickly recognizes their surroundings as the courtyard in front of the royal castle, the same place they arrived the last time they were here. And just like then, the sun is already starting to set in this realm, and there is someone waiting for them in front of the stone steps leading up to the castle.
“Welcome home, kinsmen,” Freyr greets them with a wide grin.
“Thank you for having us,” Thor says, and walks over to give him a hug.
“Of course, we’ve been waiting for you with bated breath,” Freyr says. He then turns to Loki and his smile grows even brighter as he gets a good look at him.
“You look marvelous, cousin. I’m so happy for you both,” he says, and leans in to greet Loki with a hug and a kiss to the cheek. “May I?” he adds, gesturing to Loki’s stomach.
“Please.”
Freyr puts a hand on the bump and strokes along the curve in search of movement, then grins in triumph.
“Strong, like his parents,” he remarks. “Now let’s go inside before my wife gets cross with me for delaying, she’s hardly slept from excitement since receiving your letter.”
Freyr leads them towards the queen’s quarters through private hallways and hidden staircases so as to not alert the rest of the court to their arrival, to ensure some privacy for the first part of their stay. As soon as they walk through the door to the large parlor in the queen’s quarters, there’s a squeal of happiness and Thor barely has time to move out of the way with a laugh before his husband is enveloped in Freyja’s embrace, both of them talking over each other in their joy. While he waits for his own greeting, Thor looks around for his godson, and breaks into a wide smile when Freyr comes towards him with the baby in his arms. He’s grown almost beyond recognition since the last time Thor saw him, which is only natural seeing as he was only a few months old then.
“Who’s this?” Freyr murmurs to the boy, who’s looking at Thor with wide, curious eyes. “Do you remember your uncle? Would you like to say hello?”
Thor smiles, doing his best to look approachable and inviting, and then Harald smiles too and reaches for him with his little hands. Freyr leans closer to hand him over, and Thor lifts him up and brings him close to his chest.
“Hello, godson. Are you well?” he asks. Harald answers with a happy gurgle, and the men share a laugh. Then a soft hand lands on his upper arm to draw his attention, and Thor turns to meet Freyja’s bright smile.
“Thor, I’m so happy to see you,” she says, and he leans down to greet her with a kiss to the cheek.
“Likewise. How are you?”
“Very well, thank you.”
“Where’s your oldest?” Thor asks, looking around in search of Njörðr. In truth he’d expected to be greeted by the lively heir to the throne before anyone else got a chance – the last time they were here, the boy was most eager for his company and would come running the second Thor entered his sight. But before he has a chance to get truly worried, his eyes land on a small figure across the room. The boy is lingering in the open doorway leading out to the balcony, where they all must have been gathered while waiting for Thor and Loki to arrive.
“Won’t you come greet our guests, son?” Freyr calls to him, but the boy looks frozen in place. Thor is puzzled at first, but when he takes another look at him, he understands. Njörðr only has eyes for Loki, or more precisely the obvious swell of his stomach no longer hidden under spells or layers of clothing. He looks utterly enthralled as he stares, and there’s a preternatural glow behind his eyes that Thor has learned to recognizes as the Sight. Which means that Njörðr can’t really see any of them right now, in this moment there is only what lies ahead. Slowly, and seemingly without conscious thought, the boy approaches Loki, as if pulled in by a magnetic force he’s helpless to resist. When he’s close enough, Loki reaches out a hand to greet him by softly stroking his cheek, careful not to disturb his visions.
“Hello, godson,” he murmurs.
Njörðr doesn’t seem to hear him at first, but then his eyes clear and he blinks, a bit disoriented, before looking up at Loki in awe.
“How long until he’s here?” he whispers, and Loki smiles.
“He won’t come until the leaves have changed color, I’m afraid.”
The boy’s disappointment is palpable to everyone in the room.
“You may greet him properly, if you’d like,” Loki offers, and Njörðr nods eagerly. Without hesitation, he steps into Loki’s space and places one palm on the rounded curve of his stomach, then leans in to press his cheek against it, murmuring something that Thor doesn’t catch. Loki’s hand comes up to cradle the back of his head, and when Njörðr looks up at him, he whispers something back that only the two of them hear. They share a smile, and when Njörðr looks back at the bump his eyes are glowing again, no doubt reaching forward to See more of their son.
“What a gift,” Thor murmurs to Freyr, who hums in thoughtful agreement.
“Sometimes months go by and I almost forget he has it. Then he’ll say something out of the blue that baffles everyone, and I’m reminded that he knows more than we ever will.”
Freyja returns to Loki’s side to place her hand next to her son’s.
“It’s a boy, then?” she asks, grinning.
“Yes,” Loki says.
“I knew it. Congratulations.”
Once everyone has had a chance to greet each other properly, they relocate to the dining room and settle down for a quiet family dinner – or, as quiet as it gets with two young boys in attendance. Njörðr climbs onto Thor’s lap after the first course, eager to recount his improvements in his physical training since they saw each other last, and Thor listens attentively while sneaking occasional glances at his husband, who’s entertaining Harald by conjuring up miniature versions of different animals in the palm of his hand. When the nurse arrives to take the boys to bed, Njörðr only agrees to leave once Thor has promised that they’ll resume their lessons in hand to hand fighting the next day. Still, the boy can’t help but pause on his way out when he walks past Loki, his eyes once again glued to his godfather’s stomach, and there is unmistakable longing in his gaze.
“Good night, son,” Freyr says pointedly, and with a sigh the boy reluctantly follows the nurse out the door.
“I don’t remember him being this infatuated when I was carrying Harald,” Freyja muses. “Your boy must become special to him in the future.”
“It would seem so,” Loki says.
After dinner they return to the parlor, where they sit together for a few hours to properly catch up. When Loki starts yawning around midnight, Thor discreetly gives Freyja a pointed look that she instantly picks up on and answers with a wink, and at the next lull in the conversation she announces that she’d like to retire for the evening, citing her lack of sleep these past few nights.
“I’ve had your old rooms made up for you,” she tells Loki. “Please tell your servants to ask our steward for anything you might need.”
It’s a short walk to their chambers – another sign of their privileged position as family members, as the regular guest quarters are located at the opposite end of the castle. When they arrive their things have already been unpacked for them, and there’s a good fire going in their bedchamber. They wash up and get ready for bed, then climb under the covers and settle down on their sides, facing each other. Loki puts out the candles lit throughout the room with a flick of his hand, and then there is only the soft glow from the fireplace interrupting the darkness.
“It’s nice to be back here with everyone,” Thor says. “Freyja especially seems to have missed you greatly.”
“She’s with child again,” Loki says, and Thor blinks at him in surprise.
“Is she really?”
“I think so. I’m not sure if she knows yet, so I’ll wait for her to tell me.”
“I’m sure Freyr will be thrilled.”
“Naturally.”
They lie in silence for a while, both deep in thought.
“You know, last time we were here, it would’ve caused a scandal were I to be found in your bed,” Thor teases in a whisper, “unwed and innocent as you were.”
Loki moves closer so he can give him a deep, sensual kiss.
“Not so innocent, my lord. You’d already seen to that, long before,” he points out, and Thor feels his heartrate pick up at the memory of their first night together.
“Do you regret it? Giving yourself to me before we were wed?” he asks, mock-serious.
“Why should I? I’ve always belonged to you, body and soul. Nothing could have curbed my passion for you, least of all the lack of a marriage ceremony.”
“I didn’t corrupt you with my wicked ways, then?”
This is an old game, and Thor watches in satisfaction as Loki struggles to hold back a pleased smile when he catches on.
“Of course I was very young,” he admits, and Thor wonders if the soft blush that colors his cheeks now is real, or if he’s putting on a show to entice Thor further. Regardless, it makes his pulse speed up with lust.
“And I had never been with anyone, man nor woman,” Loki goes on. “I was untouched. Still pure.”
“Yes,” Thor whispers.
“Come to think of it, it would certainly have caused quite a scandal had word come out you’d taken me.”
“Oh, you’d be disgraced. Father would have had my head, not just for bringing shame upon our House, but for taking your honor.”
“As I recall, I’m the one who tempted you into breaking your principles,” Loki reminds him.
“Hmm, is that how it happened?”
“Yes. I told you to take me to bed.”
“Ah, now I remember. A bold move, indeed.”
“You’ve always rendered me shameless.”
Thor grins at that, and moves his hand from where it’s been resting on Loki’s waist to the back of his thigh so he can lift it up and over his own hip, closing the space between their bodies.
“And then what happened?” he coaxes.
Loki leans in to whisper the next words into his ear, like it’s a filthy secret unfit to be said out loud.
“Then you ravaged me.”
The words send a shiver of pleasure down his spine, and he turns his head to capture Loki’s mouth in a hungry kiss.
“Yes, I did,” he murmurs when they break apart for air, “I was helpless to resist you, your honor be damned. It was thoughtless of me, unforgivable really–”
“No, you gave me exactly what I needed,” Loki says, panting slightly as Thor’s hand slides down his body and then between his legs. Thor had planned to keep the game going a little longer, but when Loki rocks against him and pulls him into another kiss, his passion overtakes him and any thought of delayed gratification is abandoned. Instead there is only the single-minded determination to bring his husband to the height of pleasure, for as many times as he’ll allow it.
*
They stay in bed for most of the following morning, content to lounge in each other’s arms and enjoy the peace and quiet for hours on end. It’s nice to have some real privacy for a change. Here no one is waiting for them or taking note of their whereabouts, no messages are delivered to alert them of something that needs their attention. There’s finally time to rest without a guilty conscience, to talk and laugh and make love. When Thor ventures into their parlor around midday in search of a servant to fetch them some food, there’s already a tray waiting for them on a small table by the door. Pleasantly surprised, he brings it back to their room and they eat in bed, a rare luxury they’ve only ever been afforded on the rare occasions that they’ve been too sick to dine properly.
“I’m surprised your godson hasn’t burst through the door yet to rouse us. I did promise to give him some fight training today after all,” Thor muses once they’ve eaten their fill.
“Freyja must have him tied to a chair somewhere,” Loki says drily. He’s seated in front of the dressing table, trying to untangle his dark curls with a brush, wearing nothing but a dressing gown that he can no longer fasten around his waist due to the swell of his stomach. It’s a breathtaking sight, one that makes Thor feel a hot simmer of arousal in the pit of his stomach as he watches. It used to frighten him a little, how much he desired Loki. It always felt like a force beyond his control, this intense need he had for him, even when they were young children. Back then he was convinced that it would one day become his undoing, because he knew that there was nothing he wouldn’t give or do to have him. And so if the moment ever came when he would be asked to put Loki aside, for any reason, he knew that he could never be prevailed upon to do it, regardless of the consequences. He knew, down to his very bones, that he would rather let the universe burn. Odin knew it too, and punished him accordingly. Sent him away from court – from Loki – separated them for the first (though not the last) time, and though Thor fought against it, there was also a part of him that realized he deserved it. The immensity of his devotion and how it eclipsed any sense of duty to all else was shameful, and unworthy of a future king. It would have to be tamed, or Thor would single-handedly bring ruin upon the entire royal family, including his brother. But then, one fateful afternoon, his world shifted upside down under a large great oak in the middle of a blooming field, when Loki told him that he loved him back. In that moment, and in the days that followed, he had a taste of true bliss. He's glad he didn’t know it then; all the suffering that would come in the long years after.
“Where have you gone, my love?”
Loki’s soft voice startles him out of his thoughts, and he shakes his head slightly to clear it.
“Nowhere,” he says, attempting a smile, but he can tell by the look on Loki’s face that he’s not really succeeding. Loki puts down the brush and comes back to bed, crawling into Thor’s lap and then straddling him so he can cup Thor’s face between his hands.
“Tell me,” he insists.
“I love you,” Thor says, and Loki smiles.
“This I know. Tell me something else.”
“Do you ever think about our history? Of how much it cost to arrive where we are now?”
“All things come at a cost, I suppose.”
“And ours was a steep price, indeed. Seven summers apart. Or was it eight?”
“It was seven,” Loki murmurs, and his smile is a soft, regretful thing that makes Thor’s chest ache.
“It grieves me sometimes, to think of all the time that was taken from us. Does it ever make you sad?” Thor asks.
“Sometimes,” Loki admits. They look at each other for a long moment, allowing themselves to share the feeling of loss, and by doing so it soon morphs into something tender. Slowly, a warm smile spreads across Loki’s face, and he takes Thor’s hand and brings it to his stomach. “Less and less, these days,” he says, and Thor breathes out a deep sigh, adjusting his palm to press it more firmly against the naked skin.
“The greatest gift you’ve even given me is yourself. But this is a good second,” he says.
“Likewise,” Loki murmurs, and they both lean in for a kiss. When they break apart, Loki brushes his thumbs across Thor’s cheekbones and smiles down at him lovingly.
“When we’re older, our time apart will feel like a mere blink. You’ll see. And we have eternity in front of us. You’ll not be free of me even in Valhall,” he says.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Thor says.
They kiss until they’re breathless, until Loki is hot and squirming on top of him, and then Thor switches them around so Loki can lean against the pillows while Thor kisses his way down his body.
“They’ll be waiting for us by now,” Loki pants, even as his hand comes to rest in Thor’s hair, urging him downwards.
“Then they’ll still be waiting in half an hour,” Thor murmurs.
“Half an hour? My, what kind of plans do you have?”
“You’ll see. Just lie back and enjoy.”
“Yes, my lord.”
*
When Thor enters the nursery in search of the crown prince 45 minutes later, he’s greeted the way he’d expected the day before: by the young boy throwing himself into Thor’s arms with impressive speed and force. He stumbles back a half-step – out of practice, he chides himself – and then hoists the boy up onto his shoulders.
“Are you ready to practice, little prince?”
“Yes,” Njörðr says eagerly.
“We’ll be in the garden,” Thor tells the nurse, and then heads for the door.
“Where’s Uncle Loki?” Njörðr asks.
“He went to see your mother. I’m sure he’ll join us in a little while.”
“Alright. Can we use swords today?”
“If you wish.”
The boy cheers in excitement and Thor grins. He keeps an eye out for a page or a runner on their way to the garden, and as soon as they come across one, Thor tells him to fetch a pair of wooden swords for them to use. In the meantime he decides to start with some basic instructions in hand-to-hand combat. The weather is warm and fine today, so they take off their shoes before they begin and step barefoot onto the grass lawn outside the royal living quarters. Thor is pleased to see how the boy’s skills have developed since they saw each other last. He still remembers all the moves Thor taught him when they were last here, and his form has improved. He’s still as eager as ever to keep learning, and Thor praises him freely to make sure he stays encouraged even when he falls short. When the page arrives with their practice swords they switch over to fencing instead. It’s a lot of fun, and the time passes quickly. Eventually Thor notices that the boy seems increasingly distracted; he keeps casting quick glances back towards the castle, like he’s waiting for someone, and it dawns on Thor that he must be looking for Loki – or perhaps the one he carries with him.
“I’m sure your uncle will be here soon. Why don’t we take a break while we wait for him?” he suggests when it’s clear that the boy has grown too distracted to keep up with Thor’s instructions. Njörðr agrees, and they sit down in the soft grass, stretching out their legs and arms. Thor tips his head back with his eyes closed to enjoy the warm sunrays for a while. When he opens them again, Njörðr is turned towards the stone archway marking the entrance to the garden, still waiting for Loki to arrive, and his eyes are glowing with unseeing Sight again. Thor wonders if it’s his future son the boy is Seeing. He aches to ask about him. What will he be like? Does he look like Loki? Is he strong? Will he be king when Thor is gone, or do the Norns have other plans for the next prince of Asgard? But he can’t bring himself to speak any of his numerous questions aloud. It feels unnatural, in a way. Children have been born throughout the ages without their parents knowing anything about the future ahead of them. That’s the gamble you take when you bring new life into the universe, where chaos seems to reign more often than not. And while Thor knows very well that sorcery is a natural part of life both on Asgard and on Vanaheimr, he’s never felt entirely comfortable with this particular skill, or natural gift, as the Vanir view it. It brings up too many questions about fate and inevitability and free will. The future will unfold as the Norns intend it, that belief constitutes the core of all Asgardians’ worldview, but Thor would rather not know what lies ahead. Discovery is a main point of living, so why spoil the surprise? Soon enough their son will be born, and Thor will know him. For now it’s enough to know that he’s on his way.
“I think they’re almost here,” Njörðr says. He looks relieved, and Thor smiles.
“Are you excited to meet your new kinsman?” he asks.
“Yes. I miss him very much,” Njörðr says, so earnest and matter-of-fact that Thor has no idea how to reply. Thankfully, he’s saved from trying to fumble his way through it by the arrival of his husband and cousin, who are entering the garden arm in arm as they walk towards them. Njörðr jumps up and runs to meet them halfway, and Thor slowly rises to his feet as well. He watches, a little nervously, to see if the boy will forget himself and launch himself into Loki’s arms like he’s used to, but his worries are unfounded: Njörðr slows down as he gets closer and then comes to a full stop a step away from his godfather. Thor sees his husband give an indulgent nod, and then both of the boy’s hands are eagerly placed on his stomach to greet his future cousin. Loki shares a happy smile with Freyja, then looks around in search of Thor. When their eyes meet, Thor feels the usual sense of calm settle over him. Everything feels right again as soon as they’re near each other. They share a smile, soft and private and full of meaning, and Thor feels a tug inside his chest of something beckoning him closer. He follows it, and starts walking over to join the others. It’s wonderful to see how comfortable Loki looks. No spells are shrouding his body any longer. His garments are more form-fitting in a way that enhances the swell of his stomach rather than hiding it. He looks happy and healthy, and Thor wishes they could stay here until after the birth. But he knows their father is right: their heir must be born on Asgard if his future reign is to be considered legitimate by their people. Loki must know it too, though they’ve never spoken about it. Thor knows they’ll have to, soon. This respite is temporary. He shakes off that distressing thought before it can take hold, and focuses on the joyful scene in front of him instead, where Njörðr is still glued to Loki’s midsection and now seems to be whispering secrets to the boy within.
“Darling, let your uncle breathe, please,” Freyja chides him, and Loki chuckles.
“Don’t mind your mother,” he tells the boy. “Finish your story, I’m sure he’s listening intently.” He then turns to smile at Thor, who’s almost by his side now, and tips his chin up in a silent request for a kiss, which Thor happily gives him.
“Hello, husband,” Loki murmurs.
“Hello, my love.”
“Did you have fun?”
“We did,” Thor confirms. “Your godson is very talented.”
“How true. I wondered if you wanted to take a walk with me before dinner?”
“Nothing would make me happier.”
Once Freyja has managed to detach her son from Loki’s side and started leading him back to the castle, Thor offers his own arm to Loki, and they start walking down the stone path that encircles the garden.
“How are you feeling?” Thor asks.
“Very well. Rested and energized, thanks to your efforts,” Loki says, and Thor grins.
“I’m glad. And our son?”
“All is well. He’s been moving a lot today.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
“It’s very good.”
“Did you enjoy your time with Freyja?”
“Yes. She told me about the pregnancy. It’s early still, but she’s excited.”
“That’s happy news. Do you know what it will be?”
“I think it’s a girl this time.”
Thor wants to ask again if they’ll also have a daughter one day, but he’s not sure Loki would welcome any thoughts of another pregnancy just yet. It’s strange; when Thor proposed he truly meant it when he assured Loki that it didn’t matter to him whether they ever had children. All he cared about was having Loki as his spouse. He still believes they would have had a happy life together just the two of them. But ever since Loki told him he was with child, he's experienced a kind of happiness and gratitude he didn’t think was possible. Now there is no end to his wishes and fantasies of their future family and what it might look like. Already he longs for a daughter, too, and he can’t help but feel a little envious of their cousins.
“The Norns have truly blessed their House,” he says carefully.
Loki squeezes his arm and whispers:
“All in good time, my love.”
Thor slows to a halt without thinking, looking at his husband with barely concealed hunger, and Loki laughs.
“Kiss me, you fool, before I start spilling secrets,” he says, and Thor quickly obeys with a series of deep, eager kisses. They walk on, holding hands now.
“It’s true that this pregnancy has been difficult for me,” Loki says after a while, “but you should remember that it’s also my dream to have your child. Or children, if we’re lucky. When we were wed you promised to make my dreams come true, and so far you have, every single one. So trust in your ability to continue to do so.”
Too overcome with emotion to speak, Thor brings their joined hands to his lips and presses a reverent kiss to the inside of Loki’s wrist.
“Thank you for bringing me here. It’s exactly what I needed,” Loki adds.
“Anything for you, my love.”
By the time they return to the castle, Thor feels like he’s floating on air, so happy and in love that nothing could bring him down. They walk back to their chambers to get ready for dinner, and decide to take a bath together. Loki falls asleep as they soak in the warm water, Thor can tell by the slow rise and fall of his midsection where Thor’s arms encircle him from behind. Thor lets him rest in peace save for a few stolen kisses pressed to his neck and temple and cheek from time to time, each one rewarded with a soft hum before Loki drifts off again. Thor focuses on their son, marveling at the flutter of movement under his palms as they stroke along the skin of Loki’s stomach. The baby keeps moving around, almost like he’s trying to hide, and Thor does his best to follow along, hands always searching for the next point of contact, and it feels almost like a game, one he can’t wait to play the real version of soon. The water has long since turned tepid and is bordering on cool by the time Loki finally stirs and stretches lazily against Thor’s chest with a yawn.
“Welcome back,” Thor murmurs. Loki turns his head just enough to give him a lazy kiss.
“I dreamed you were playing with our son,” he says.
“And so I did. At least I think so. I wish I had the conviction of your godson when it comes to this. Today he told me that he misses our son.”
“I’m sure he does.”
“Forgive me, but I have to ask: how can he miss someone he’s not even met yet?”
“Time works differently for him. In Njörðr’s mind they already know each other. He has memories of their times together, though to us they are yet to come. And I have a feeling they might be soul-bonded.”
“Do you really? How so?”
“Just a feeling. And the fact that he can barely stand to be away from me now that he’s Seen our son.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed his…”
“Obsession?” Loki chuckles.
“I was going to say enthusiasm, but yes, he seems very devoted already.”
“I could be wrong, of course. We’ll have to see how the future plays out.”
“I can’t wait,” Thor whispers, pressing a quick kiss to Loki’s neck. “It’s all I think about; how wonderful it will be when he’s here with us.”
Loki lets out a happy sigh.
“Me too,” he says dreamily, his hands coming up to rest on top of Thor’s. “It’s a new beginning for all of us.”
*
The next few weeks fly by quicker than Thor would like, only because it’s such a happy time. They dine with the royal family most nights, and sometimes with the rest of the court, where Loki’s old friends are all eager to spend time in his company. Freyr even asks Loki to sit in on some of the royal council meetings as his personal advisor like he did in the old days, and Loki is more than happy to oblige him. When the weather is fine, which it usually is, they spend most of their time outdoors. Some days they take the children up to the nearest lake to go for a swim, on others they play for hours in the vast royal gardens. Thor wishes he could take Loki on a camping trip similar to the one they had after their wedding, he longs to see even more of Vanaheimr’s majestic nature and wildlife, but Loki is so close to his time now that it wouldn’t be advisable. Their son is almost ready to be born. When he kicks now they can sometimes see actual footprints against Loki’s skin, which is endlessly fascinating to everyone, but especially Njörðr, who follows his godfather around for most of the day to make sure his comfort is everyone’s top priority at any given moment. Even his lessons with Thor are of less interest to him, unless Loki can be persuaded to sit nearby, which he often does, usually accompanied by either Freyr or Freyja. Thor can’t help but pity the boy. He knows from personal experience what it’s like to live with this kind of yearning and devotion, but in Thor’s case he never knew an existence where the other half of his soul wasn’t present - he has no memory of a life without Loki.
“I’m sorry you have to wait for him,” he tells the boy one afternoon when they’re all spending time on the large balcony outside the queen’s quarters. Loki is resting on a velvet chaise longue a few yards away, laughing with their cousins who are still seated at the table where they’ve just been served a midday meal, and Njörðr has been glancing over to check on him every time Thor turns the page on the book they’ve been reading together.
“It’s okay. He’ll make it up to me,” Njörðr says, so confidently that Thor can’t help but smile.
“I’m sure he will.”
“He’s almost here now, and then he’ll know me too, and we’ll be together.”
Thor wonders if that means his son will follow in Loki’s footsteps and spend years of his life on Vanaheimr, or perhaps Njörðr will be the one to live on Asgard. Either way the boy seems confident that their futures are intertwined, which is an exciting prospect. Thor would love nothing more than for their families to continue to be as connected as they are. It’s still just as tempting as ever to question the boy about what lies ahead, especially now that Loki has hinted that there might be more children in their future, but Thor manages to refrain. Whatever comes will come, and Thor has always found that there’s so much joy to be found simply in the discovery of it.
Loki comes over to join them on the settee they’re sharing, and Njörðr hurries to give him room to sit down between him and Thor. Loki ruffles his hair affectionately in thanks and relaxes against the backrest with a sigh.
“Are you well?” Thor asks.
“I’m very well, just a little fatigued. I think it’s time to go home. Our son will be here soon.”
Njörðr makes a soft hum of agreement, the palm of his hand pressed against Loki’s stomach in unmistakable longing.
“When the leaves change color,” he says, repeating Loki’s words back to him.
“That’s right, darling. And today marks the height of summer, which means that autumn will be here soon enough. It’s time our people knew that there’s a new heir on the way, wouldn’t you agree my love?”
He smiles knowingly at Thor, who suddenly finds himself quite overcome with emotion, which makes Loki laugh and pull him into a kiss.
“What do you say, husband? Shall we go home and share the happy news at last?”
“Nothing would make me happier,” Thor says.
The next day delivers another familiar scene: all six of them out in the courtyard in front of the castle, saying their goodbyes for now and exchanging hugs and kisses in the process. They’re almost ready to call out to Heimdall to open the Bifröst for them when Njörðr suddenly steps forward, slipping free from his father’s loose grip on his shoulders to grab onto Loki’s hand, halting him.
“I need to know his name,” he implores. “Do you know it? Have you decided?”
Loki smiles and gives Thor a nod to pick the boy up so they can be at eye-level. Thor quickly obeys and shifts the boy around in his arms so he's facing Loki.
“Shall I tell you a secret?” Loki whispers, and the boy nods eagerly. “I know it. I think I’ve always known. If I tell you, will you guard it in your heart until he’s here?”
“I will,” the boy swears. Loki leans in to whisper in his ear. When he pulls back, they share a smile, and the boy nods solemnly. Thor puts him back on his feet, and watches in amusement as he scampers back to his father. Loki takes his arm, and they both wave to the others before Thor looks up at the sky and calls out to Heimdall to bring them home.
*
Magni is born under the next full moon, on the cusp of autumn, just as Loki predicted, and through him the royal line of Asgard is secured for another millennia. When Thor holds his son in his arms for the first time, he knows with absolute certainty that the Norns have blessed him beyond measure, and that he’ll happily spend the rest of his life striving to be worthy of it.