Chapter Text
Mafuyu was silent in Kanade’s kitchen, stirring a pot of porridge she learned how to make. She could faintly hear the sounds of Kanade clicking her keyboard’s keys, playing chords over and over again. Another song to save her…
Everyone was trying so hard to save her. Kanade had been trying ever since she figured it out, Mizuki and Ena showed so much of their support online and in the sekai. The virtual singers kept keeping an eye on her too, especially since she returned to Kanade’s house so abruptly after that night’s events…
It had only been a few days, but she could still remember her parents vividly trying so hard to appeal to her. Her mother…she tried to suppress her emotions to make her child so happy. Was Mafuyu so pitiful that mother put more distress on herself to make Mafuyu happy? And when it was revealed that Mafuyu had agreed to the university visit without feeling fully aware of her own preference, that face her mother made…
It still shook her, as she tried to focus on the porridge. If this burnt too, she wouldn’t even be able to help Kanade keep track of her meals. To feel this guilty over someone helping her, she wanted to ignore it. She wanted to make the people supporting her happy–she wanted to make her mother happy.
But she didn’t know how to do it anymore. On instinct, she bit her lip, suppressing the urge to cry as her throat swelled and ached so suddenly. She had cried so much that night, and she felt so tired when she woke up at Kanade’s in the morning that she barely registered the day passing by at all. She wanted to get back to work, to reach her mother’s expectations.
Still, the feeling of studying late nights, restraining her words with a smile. Working through the stress the pressure gave her, she didn’t know what to do with the emotions that overwhelmed and confused her. If she were to go through with her mother’s expectations, she wouldn’t be able to hide it hurting her anymore–not as effectively as she once had, now that she understood the way to be vulnerable with Nightchord again. And she knew that if her mother noticed those cracks, noticed Mafuyu avoiding to step on them, she would cry again. She couldn’t bear the thought of that.
Mafuyu swallowed through the ache and sighed, turning her phone down on its screen. She figured, perhaps she needed some space. Some time to work through what she felt. After all, if she stayed confused forever, it was inevitable that the virtual singers and Nightchord would help her untangle it all.
Fixing her problems.
She swayed the porridge with the wooden spoon too harshly at that, a small amount spilling on the stove. As if she was a child, fixing her problems, cleaning up her mess…
What a pitiful girl.