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The night he left was a shock to her system. It’s left her reeling while still having to tuck their daughter back into bed and kiss her goodnight as if nothing was about to change. As if one day, Leon Kennedy was just going to walk back through the front door like he had every other time he’d been sent out on a mission, put his tactical gear away into the back of their closet, and slide back into bed with her with an exhausted sigh.
Ashley had been spending the majority of her quiet time over the past week coming to terms with Leon’s condition while still attempting to be present both for him and Tilly. The morning before he left, she had to pretend she didn’t notice that he’d coughed up blood into the sink while he was getting ready in the morning. As much as she wanted to rub his back, and to whisper words of comfort, she knew Leon better than she knew herself, and she knew that wasn’t what he wanted.
After he walked out the door, she went back to bed knowing that sleep was not going to return to her, and she stared up at the ceiling, with only the company of hot tears rolling down the sides of her cheeks and into the crevices of her ears until the dusky haze of the morning began to flicker in through the blinds. She wasn’t sure how long she had stayed like that, or what time it even was, by the time she heard little footsteps patter down the hallway and to the bedroom door.
“Mommy?” Tilly cracked the door open, her little nose poking through the small gap between the edge of the door and its hinge. Her voice was quiet, almost meek. “I’m hungry.”
At that, Ashley sat up almost abruptly, rubbing her swollen eyes and looking over to the clock. It had barely been six hours without Leon and she had already forgotten to feed their child.
How was she going to do this without him?
“You’re hungry?” She asked, watching as Tilly nodded timidly, her stuffed rabbit clutched in her left hand as she stood in the doorway in her nightgown. Ashley wiped her eyes, a feeble attempt at pulling herself together before she stood from the bed. “Okay, baby. Go into the kitchen. I’ll make you some breakfast.”
When Tilly nodded and pattered off back down the hallway, Ashley took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. Her fingers ran through her hair, and she rubbed her eyes with her forearm before making a mental note to pull herself together as she stood up to join her daughter in the kitchen.
Tilly sat at the kitchen table, her short legs swinging from where they didn’t yet touch the ground, and she spoke for the first time midway through Ashley whisking eggs.
“I like when Daddy does it,” she said said.
As much as that nearly sent Ashley spiraling into internal turmoil again, she managed to hold strong. “Me too,” she responded with as much nonchalance as possible, forcing a small smile to keep the mood light. “Daddy’s a better cook than Mommy, huh?”
“Mhm,” Tilly replied without any idea of possible offense. She set Plop-Plop, her stuffed rabbit, on the edge of the table as she waited patiently for her breakfast. “When’s Daddy coming back from work?”
“I don’t know, Tilly.”
Seemingly dissatisfied with that answer, she frowned. “Tomorrow?”
“Probably…not tomorrow.”
After she had finished up and plated Tilly’s food, placing it on the table in front of the eager toddler, an inexplicably urge came over her. As she watched their daughter munch happily on her subpar scrambled eggs, she felt across the counter for her phone, unlocking it and contacting the only person who came to mind.
Message to: Leon S. Kennedy
Today, 7:56AM
You’re going to have to make it home because Tilly hates my cooking :)
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
The error message that immediately popped up in return to her hasty message was no surprise. Leon’s civilian phone was currently property of the United States government, as it always was during missions. As trusted of an asset as he was, they couldn’t risk an unintentional breach of classified data or activity while he was on duty. A protocol Ashley had come to know like the back of her hand.
When Leon was working, he was radio silent. And despite it more than likely being his last, this mission was no different.
Tilly had fallen asleep on the couch that night. Maybe, Ashley thought, it was because she didn’t have the energy to properly put her to bed. She wanted to stay up late to see if Leon would come home, and Ashley was powerless to do anything other than allow her to, despite being borderline disgusted with herself for doing so.
Someday, Tilly would resent her for not being honest, she considered. One day she would grow up and realize that Mommy knew Daddy wasn’t coming home well before she ever told her. She would grow up and realize Mommy let her stay up late to wait for something she knew wasn’t going to come the same way Ashley would wait for a message or a phone call.
“We have some breaking news tonight. The city of Wrenwood and surrounding areas have been placed on lockdown after reports of a viral outbreak in the downtown area.”
Ashley’s head immediately snapped to face the television at the sound of the key words; Wrenwood…viral outbreak…
“Government and local officials reported a surge of erratic and violent behavior linked to a contagion in several citizens who wreaked havoc through downtown Wrenwood tonight. The Division of Security Operations put the city on a temporary lockdown, and federal officials are reporting that the threat has been handled. Still, residents in the surrounding areas are being urged to shelter in place for the time being and to be aware of the following symptoms.”
Without rational thought, Ashley turned away from the list of symptoms being broadcast across the television screen and went for her phone.
Message to: Leon S. Kennedy
Today, 10:23PM
Are you in Wrenwood? They’re talking about what happened on the news.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
Message to: Leon S. Kennedy
Today. 10:23PM
They said the DSO was there handling it so I know it was probably you. At least maybe I’ll be able to get some sleep tonight knowing you’re safe. Or as safe as you can be during a mission I guess. Bet you were a total badass out there like always!
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
She sighed, her eyes flickering over the name in her phone for a long moment as she waited for the reply that wasn’t going to come.
Leon S. Kennedy.
It was so stupid in retrospect. She’d gotten so upset that she was in his phone as “Ashley Graham” that she’d gone through the trouble of changing his contact in return. She’d blamed her pregnancy hormones, but deep down she knew it was her insecurity flaring up. There was always a part of her, even after they married and conceived a child, that worried someday he was going to realize he was out of her league. That he was going to regret not ending up with another agent who understood the life he led more than she did, and who was as capable with a gun and as sharp-witted as he was.
She wished she never let her insecurity lead them into petty bickering. It was time with him that she was never going to get back.
Message to: Leon S. Kennedy
Today, 10:24PM
I’m gonna change your name back in my phone. Every time I see it I think of that dumb argument.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
Message to: Leon S. Kennedy
Today, 10:24PM
And I’m gonna let Tilly sleep in the bed with me tonight. I know we agreed she needs to be sleeping in her own room more, but I think I need it tonight.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
Message to: Leon S. Kennedy
Today. 10:24PM
I wish I could hear your voice.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
Ashley stared at the error message for a long moment, as if waiting for something to change. Waiting for a response to pop up despite knowing that wasn’t possible. After a while, she locked her phone again, scooping a sleeping Tilly up into her arms and heading towards her bedroom.
The next day was no easier. Ashley’s parents offered to take Tilly for a day out, thought it wasn’t much of a suggestion. While she understood where they were coming from, and she appreciated them wanting to be there for her in any way they could, having Tilly out of the house only magnified her loneliness, and made the ache in her chest throb harder than before.
Message to: Leon ❤︎
Today, 1:14PM
My parents took Tilly for the day. I think they don’t think I’m in the right headspace to take care of her right now. I miss her. I miss you. I thought about going to pick her up but she’s probably having fun with them. That would make me a bad mom, right?
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
Message to: Leon ❤︎
Today, 1:14PM
I miss you so much. Sherry won’t answer my calls.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
Message to: Leon ❤︎
Today, 1:14PM
I deserve to know if you’re alive. That’s literally all I want to know. I hate this.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
Message to: Leon ❤︎
Today, 1:15PM
My dad said if you’re not back in a few weeks we’ll have a funeral service for you, but I don’t even know if I can do that. What am I supposed to tell Tilly? Is she old enough to understand the whole “Daddy went to heaven” talk yet? I don’t want to traumatize her. I don’t want her to hate me. She’s all I have left.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
Message to: Leon ❤︎
Today, 1:15PM
I hate this. I just want you back.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
With hot tears streaking the now raw skin of her cheeks, she placed her head in her hands with a sob.
It had only been two days since the outbreak incident in Wrenwood…two days since Leon’s last proof of life…and yet, to Ashley, it felt like a lifetime. Because of that, looking at her missed call from Sherry that night had her stomach in knots. She told herself she should listen to the voicemail, that this was what she had been asking for. Updates. The knowledge of whether or not Leon was even still alive. But now that it was here, she almost couldn't face it.
Her fingers swiped to unlock her phone, but she didn’t go straight to the voicemail. She went somewhere more familiar. Somewhere safe.
Message to: Leon ❤︎
Today, 9:35PM
Sherry just called and left me a voicemail. I’m afraid to listen to it. I'm afraid you're gone.
MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND!
She sighed deeply, an unexplainable disappointment washing over her when the now familiar error message immediately greeted her in reply. So he wasn’t about to walk through the door. Not that she expected it, but somewhere deep down it was her heart’s greatest desire.
Her fingers hovered over the keyboard illuminating her touchscreen, and she stared for a long moment before pulling herself together. She closed out of the text chain…messages upon messages of her speaking into the void disappearing from view. She couldn’t continue to live in a fantasy. The voicemail from Sherry loomed over her, and she needed to face reality.
With a deep, steadying breath, she held the phone to her ear, Sherry’s sweet, melodic voice carrying across the line.
“Hey, Ashley, it’s Sherry. I’m really sorry I couldn’t answer your calls the last few days, things with the mission got—well…I guess I should wait until you call me back to tell you everything. Leon's okay. Give me a call.”
The first morning Leon was home, Ashley spent an inexplicable amount of time just watching him sleep…watching the way the morning sun illuminated the lightly scarred skin of his back while it moved rhythmically in time with each even breath. She was afraid to close her eyes and try to fall back asleep herself. Afraid that if she did, she would wake up in an empty bed again to the realization that this was only a dream.
“Mm…” A soft mumble rumbling from his chest turned her attention back towards his serene face, his eyelids flickering as he slowly climbed back into consciousness. “Ashley.”
He said her name like it was an instinct, his blue eyes soft as they took in the sight of her. She smiled softly in return and reached over to run her fingers through his hair.
“Hey,” she whispered, and she subconsciously curled a lock of his hair around her index finger. “You still feel okay?”
He nodded, and she could see the twinge of pity in his eyes that she was sure mirrored the way she looked at him for weeks when he was sick. It was obvious it was going to take her some time to shake the trauma of his illness. To fully accept and understand the fact that he was cured, and that it wasn’t going to flare up again or take him in his sleep.
“Like a million bucks,” he confirmed. When her hand traced from his hair down to his shoulder, he turned his head to press a soft kiss against the side of her wrist. “I can’t wait to see Tilly. Bet she grew another few inches since I left.”
Ashley chuckled. “She didn’t. But she’ll probably go crazy when she sees you. She’s been talking about you nonstop.”
Leon smiled fondly at the thought. “Let’s get up and get ready to go pick her up then."
With a lazy stretch, he reached over to where his phone was still face down on the nightstand, having been too lost in being home and in Ashley and in ecstasy to have even paid it any mind the night prior after having it reactivated. When he flipped it over, his screen was flooded with notifications, and he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as he focused in on the faint blue glow from the screen.
“Christ. Mr. Popular,” he quipped.
It didn’t take long for Ashley to realize exactly what he was referencing, and her hand shot out to cover his, insuring he didn’t unlock the screen.
“Hang on! Don’t read those.”
His eyebrows rose, a sign of his curiosity. “No?”
“No,” she confirmed with a shake of her head. He didn’t need to see them. Didn’t need to feel guilty about the state of her mind while he was gone. None of that was important now. He was here, and he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Let’s just go get Tilly.”