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Luffy had always known that she wouldn't live long, she was honestly just surprised by how long she had lived, she never expected to make it to seventeen, but here she was.
She had always assumed that she would be killed due to her tendency to punch before talking, even though she would normally just get angrier if she did try talking first.
She had always been a bit of an angry child, angry that the world and all those that lived in it decided that the moment she took her first breath she deserved to die.
Angry that, even though she's never met her birth family, the blood running through her is reason enough to hate her.
Angry that she was the one that had to deal with all that hatred and fear, no matter how innocent or young she was.
Her anger was one of the reasons she always got into so many fights, why she always ended up with bruises and cuts all over herself, why her clothes were always dirty and scratched.
She wasn't born angry, she didn't want to be angry, but showing and feeling anger would always be easier than the alternative and showing weakness was always a bad idea when the world would use ut against you.
Her sisters always told her off for picking so many fights, but it's not like they could talk, they both went feral the first time they heard someone tell her she shouldn't have been born.
Shanks was the same as the first time Luffy saw her lose her temper was when someone had told her that she didn't deserve to live.
That didn't really change the fact that Luffy got into the most fights, she didn't care for holding herself back, didn't bite her tongue and smile, she refused to bow down to those that thought they deserved it, she spoke and bit and clawed at those that talked bad or tried to hurt her or her sisters, she refused to be quiet.
The same could be said for them, but they only ever went feral when it came to others, able to hold their tongues if they heard something bad about themselves, that was something she wished she could do, but she knew she never woukd, as the only way to stop the hurt from showing was anger.
And yet, they still defended her.
Even when she deserved all the words thrown at her they would still defend her, still love her.
She had always known that she would never deserve their love, knew that she deserved to be alone, no matter how much she would rather hurt than be alone again.
She still didn't know why they cared so much for her, why they both did everything in their power to make her laugh and smile, why they protected her and continued to love her even when she fought them at first.
She would never tell them, but, the reason she kept trying, the reason she kept living, it was never for herself, they were the first reasons she had ever laughed and smiled, they were the reasons she could listen to the hate and keep going.
They were her reasons to keep living, and she knew that she would do anything for them, she would live for them, and she would die for them.
And along the way, as she got older, she met more and more people she would live and die for, more people she would give everything up for if it meant they were safe.
She just never considered that while they all may love her, they would all give up just as much if it meant she was safe, if it meant they could somehow get her to believe that she was their reason for living, that she was why they continued to try.
And now, they might never get the chance to show her just how loved she is.
—
For the first time in a while, Luffy felt lost, lost in a way that she hated, in a way she remembered all too clearly from before she had found people who didn't hate her, before she had met the two girls who who wouldn't leave her alone no matter how hard she tried that she now called her sisters.
She waited as they arrived in Marineford, waited before her execution took place, waited and hoped that it would all go smoothly, even though she knew it wouldn't.
She waited as they docked, as she was forced to the platform, as she was forced to kneel and wait for her impending death.
She wasn't scared of death, never had been, she knew that she would die one day, she had accepted that, even wanted it at times, so no, she wasn't scared.
She never feared death, but she did fear leaving her precious ones behind, leaving the treasure Shanks had trusted her with, breaking that promise she made with her sisters when they were young, leaving them alone in a world that would hate them since she could no longer be the one in front.
With her hands chained in sea stone, and her body weakened by starvation, she hoped that no one would come, hoped that they knew she wasn't worth dying for.
Even though some small part of her hoped that she wouldn't die alone, hoped that she would see such a kind smile one more time, hoped that she got to hear them say that their happy she was alive, that she deserved to be alive.
And deeper inside her, an even smaller part of her wanted to live, not scared to die, but not wanting to die just yet, that by some miracle, she would leave this place alive, that others cared enough to want her alive too.
She knew though, that when the execution starts, everything would be revealed, that everyone would know that she never deserved to be born, no matter how much she wished she did.
Her nakama and allies would never want such cursed blood near them, even if she was a friend, and her sisters crew would hopefully stop them from reaching her before they got hurt because of her.
She knew, and she accepted, accepted that no one would save her, accepted that she would never be able to give Shanks her hat back, accepted that was never going to grow into an adult.
And as she held back tears with her head hung low and her jaw clenched, she looked up at the sea one last time, wishing that she wasn't alone, no matter how selfish she knew that wish was.