Actions

Work Header

In Sickness and in Health...?

Summary:

A story where Digitan live-commentates Vodka and Daiwa Scarlet’s wedding reception. Inspired by the bridal event.

Original work by オレンジの箱 on Pixiv.

Translated by Monitoring. Checkout the Umamusume Fanfic Server, they coolio and I post most of my translations: Discord.gg/UmaFic — we are also taking extra translation requests!

If you would like your work taken down, please DM us on the Discord server.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Good morning, everyone! Agnes Digital here!

Today’s Digitan woke up at maximum excitement! A once-in-an-otaku-lifetime event is about to begin!

“Come on, Tachyon-san! Wake up! We need to get ready!”

“Ugh… please stop being so loud in the morning. I have been telling you for days that I do not feel like going.”

“I cannot grant that request, even from you! Because today is…”

Yes!

“Vodka-san and Scarlet-san’s wedding reception!”

I had always thought they might end up like this, but I never imagined they would reach the goal while still enrolled. When the announcement came a few months ago, the whole academy went into chaos. Digitan’s heart was also in a storm, and I have been waiting for this day ever since.

“That is exactly why I do not feel like going…”

“Why not? It is Scarlet-san’s special day, and you adored her so much! We already accepted the invitation!”

“It is… an indescribable unpleasantness in my heart. Like watching a beloved daughter be carried off by some unknown person.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand at all.”

Tachyon-san had been sulking for days. Even now she was under her blanket and showed no sign of coming out. Why? Scarlet-san was about to grasp happiness. Was it jealousy? It did not quite feel like that.

“I do not think Vodka-kun is a bad Uma Girl. But did they need to register while still students? These matters should be considered more carefully.”

She was starting to sound like an actual parent. Saying that to me would not help.

“If you don’t come, Scarlet-san will be very lonely.”

“……”

“Let’s go. Once you’re there, you may feel like celebrating!”

“Perhaps…”

Grumbling all the while, Tachyon-san finally got up and prepared. In uniform, still muttering complaints, she rode the bus with me to the hotel listed on the invitation.

“Why even hold such an exaggerated ceremony? If they are engaged, that should be enough. It costs money and has no value.”

“That is not true. Wearing wedding dresses, being blessed by everyone… every maiden dreams of such things, doesn’t she?”

“Ridiculous. I cannot understand going that far just to make memories.”

She complained the whole way. She was never exactly bubbly, but this level of open displeasure was rare. What had gotten into her?

When we arrived, the hotel was full of Uma Girls. Everyone with even a little connection to the brides seemed to have been invited. The hall was gorgeous, and although the brides had not yet appeared, guests were happily chatting.

“Hey, Tachyon, Digital! Finally made it!”

“Hello…”

The first to call out were Pocket-san and Cafe-san, two of Tachyon-san’s friends.

“Sorry we’re late,” I said. “Preparation took a while.”

“No worries. The brides are still getting ready, so we were killing time.”

“Tachyon-san… congratulations,” Cafe-san said.

“Cafe, why are you congratulating me?”

“…No reason.”

As I watched their mysterious exchange, I waited eagerly for the two brides.

Then a grand voice entered the hall.

“So this is it… the gate of hell!”

Everyone froze.

Tanino Gimlet had arrived.

“What is this ominous festival? Ah, how displeasing, how displeasing!”

Her eyes were frighteningly serious.

“Vodka… my beloved Vodka. Why, why would you engage without my permission? Damn it!”

She raised a leg as if to kick a table, then apparently remembered reason and stopped.

“Oy, Gimlet-kun,” Tachyon said. “What is with that attitude? This is a happy reception. I cannot approve of such behavior.”

“Tachyon-san!?”

You were complaining about the reception until five minutes ago! I did not say it aloud.

“Agnes Tachyon… have something to say to me? Of course I feel awful. Why must my precious Vodka be taken by that shrill woman? I detest that from the start. I could destroy this reception right now!”

“Fuuhn. I return those words exactly. Why must adorable Scarlet-kun marry a rough, graceless girl like Vodka-kun? It is supremely unpleasant.”

“You got a problem with our Vodka?”

“Please, both of you, calm down!”

They ignored me and began glaring at each other.

“Gimlet-kun, it is empty to ask now, but why didn’t you stop her?”

“I did! She would not listen! She only said, ‘Please let me do what I want for this.’ Tachyon! This happened because you failed to guide your junior properly and show her holy light!”

“Do not push responsibility onto me. I am increasingly irritated with you. I feel like preserving you in formalin.”

“Try it. Today, instead of fences, perhaps I’ll kick you.”

The atmosphere was ready to explode.

Then a gentle voice came through the speakers.

“Everyone, may I have your attention? Aston Machan here.”

On the platform stood Machan-san with a microphone.

“Thank you for waiting. The brides are entering. As a representative of their friends, Machan will be your host.”

Tachyon and Gimlet sat down reluctantly.

At last, the brides entered arm in arm.

Someone screamed, “They’re gorgeous!”

It was true. Scarlet-san wore a pale blue, elegant, splendid dress. Vodka-san wore a dress with a wild, gallant air that suited her perfectly.

But the most important thing was their faces. They were both so embarrassed! What were those expressions? Were they trying to kill me?

“Gafuh!”

I almost choked. No, wait, I needed photos. But just looking at them was blinding!

“Oy, Scarlet, you’re walking too fast. Nervous?”

“Hah? You’re the nervous one! You were walking too slowly, so I pulled you!”

“What was that?”

Ah, healing.

Unlike the murderous argument earlier, this bickering brought peace to the soul. Even in wedding dresses, even after getting engaged, these two had not changed.

“Hey, you two are hot stuff! Japan’s number one!” Gold Ship called.

“Seeing two people grab happiness like that… not that it has anything to do with me, but I envy it,” Nakayama said.

Gold Ship’s energy was even higher than usual, like an annoying drunk uncle.

“S-Shut up!” Scarlet yelled.

“Yeah, Gold Ship! We’re not hot or anything!”

“You’re engaged and saying that? Share some of that happiness with Goldshi-chan!”

Then I heard a sob beside me.

Tachyon-san was crying.

“Scarlet-kun… you’re beautiful. So beautiful!”

“Tachyon-san! You came! I was worried since you were against it.”

“If you are happy, then I will say nothing more. Be happy.”

“Yes! Absolutely!”

“Vodka-kun. If you make Scarlet-kun cry, I will not forgive you.”

“Y-Yes! Leave it to me!”

What exactly is Tachyon-san to Scarlet-san?

Then Gimlet began crying too.

“Gim-senpai… how do I look? Nothing weird?”

“Of course not. Vodka, your current form is a goddess of beauty worthy of the name Venus!”

“Ehehe… that’s kinda embarrassing.”

“To make these tears of pathos fall from my eyes… I lose. Vodka, I will watch your happiness from the shadows. Scarlet, take care of her.”

“Eh? Ah, yes!”

Gimlet-san bowed her head. That was rare enough to photograph. Click.

After that, the brides took their seats at the front.

“Digital-kun,” Tachyon said, “I do not like saying this, but please avoid inelegant behavior during the ceremony.”

“Sorry…”

Was taking photos bad manners? Everyone else was doing it, but I decided not to argue.

Machan presented a video of their memories. It traced their shared races, beginning with the Tulip Sho.

“That one? I blew Scarlet away there. Honestly, that settled who was above who.”

“What are you talking about!? You only beat me by a neck!”

Then came the Oka Sho and Shuka Sho, which Scarlet won. Machan reminded everyone that she had also been in the Oka Sho and asked not to be forgotten.

“See! That’s true ability. When I get serious, you’re no match!”

“What’d you say!?”

The Arima Kinen and legendary Tenno Sho Autumn followed. I had watched that Tenno Sho many times, but it still brought tears.

“What can I say? I’m the one who wins big moments. Sorry for winning, Scarlet!”

“Grrr… by only two centimeters!”

As expected, showing race footage to these two was like pouring nitroglycerin on fire. Fortunately, everyone watched warmly.

Machan continued relentlessly. There were speeches from the chairwoman and friends, cake cutting, a karaoke tournament of unknown origin, and more. Some moments were noisy, but overall it followed the classic wedding schedule.

I was so happy. Celebrating Uma Girls’ happiness together like this—nothing could be better.

And yet, one classic wedding moment remained.

“Do you both swear, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and support each other as long as you live?”

Before a priest who had appeared at some point, the two exchanged vows.

“I do,” Vodka said.

“I do,” Scarlet said.

“Then, as proof of your new life together, a kiss of vow…”

The instant he said it, voices flew.

“All right, do it! Kiss, kiss!”

“Don’t be shy! We came all this way to see it!”

Gold Ship and Nakayama, of course.

“Sh-Shut up! We’re doing it!”

“Scarlet… I’m getting embarrassed…”

“Why are you saying that now!?”

Their embarrassment was unbearably cute. Unfortunately, it only encouraged the crowd.

“If you can’t even kiss, how are you gonna be newlyweds?”

Soon everyone was shouting for a kiss.

“I can’t watch,” Tachyon groaned.

“What is this place, Gehenna?” Gimlet muttered.

Their expressions, watching the juniors they had cherished being heckled into a kiss, were impossible to describe.

“Fine! You’re embarrassing us by acting shy! Let’s get it over with!” Scarlet snapped.

“You’re bright red too! Fine, bring it on!” Vodka replied.

Their faces slowly, slowly drew closer.

I understood then. Digitan had been born into this world and survived until now for this exact moment.

Let us witness it. Their vow.

My vision blurred. Was I ascending? No wonder. Such a sublime sight was before me. I had no regrets.

……

………

“So that was the dream I had last night,” I said. “Vodka-san, Scarlet-san, what do you think? Could it be prophetic? I feel like it might be.”

““Who…””

“Eh?”

““Who cares!””

As they shouted at me with bright red faces, I found myself deeply satisfied.

Yes. This kind of relationship suited them best.

Tehe.

Agnes Digital’s motivation went up!

Notes:

Translated by Monitoring. Checkout the Umamusume Fanfic Server, they coolio and I post most of my translations: Discord.gg/UmaFic — we are also taking extra translation requests!