Chapter Text
𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧
Growing up it was just Chihiro and his father, up in the mountains, away from the bustling life of the town five miles down from their home. They would sometimes get visits from Shiba, a longtime friend of his father ever so often. And three goldfishes his father bought on a whim one night and Chihiro ultimately ending up being their caretaker. But Chihiro never minded such a simple life.
He loved his father, although the old man never took life seriously he still taught everything Chihiro needed to know in life. giving him life lessons whenever they walked down to the creek to cool down in the summers, or whenever they chopped wood when the winter storms got stronger. and in the night of spring when they sat out on the porch with the bowl of goldfish sitting beside them, those were the moments his father would let his guard down ever so slightly his eyes softened and his lips turned down however he would immediately jump back into his childish behavior.
except for one thing when Chihiro really questioned his love for his father and that was when it came to cooking. Of course, his father fed Chihiro and kept him alive and healthy but in all honesty, he was the worst cook Chihiro's taste buds had the misfortune of having to eat. until one day when Shiba had gone over for their monthly meet ups did he agree to teach Chihiro the simplest meal to make, pancakes.
his father lazily lounged on the kitchen table reading a random comic book as Shiba handed Chihiro the ingredients to make the batter in the kitchen. His father even turned on their old radio to bring up good vibes, claiming food tasted better that way.
“Any toppings to add inside, kid?” Shiba leaned his hip on the kitchen island, closest to the small window in their kitchen as he inhaled smoke from his second cigarette. Chihiro looked around the counters and noticed a bag of chocolate. So that was the first ever meal he had ever made, chopping the chocolate into big chunks and adding it to the pancake batter.
He served three plates with big fluffy chocolate chip pancakes topped with maple syrup and a small swirl of whipped cream. Chihiro watched Shiba and his fathers expression as they took the first bite. The feeling of happiness and warmth spread inside his chest as he saw their eyes lit up, his father dramatically groaning and immediately cutting another piece to bite. Shiba grinning down at Chihiro with a nod of approval as he bragged to his father on being the best teacher.
Ever since that day Chihiro loved to cook, he begged his father to buy him books of recipes and go down to the market to buy ingredients. His father was more than happy to follow whatever his son wanted and even more so that they didn’t have to live off the same meals for months-although unsaid-both understood.
Chihiro would even have his father and Shiba try a complicated meal he prepared that morning, waiting for their honest review.
“I give it a ten out of ten!” His father beamed, Chihiro furrowed his brows looking to Shiba to really get an honest opinion.
“could use a little more garlic, and maybe more crispier” Shiba said after taking his time chewing. Chihiro nodded intently as he ate from his own plate making mental notes for next time.
By the time Chihiro was in high school he would prepare his own meals himself, eating his food quietly in the corner of the classroom near the open window. That was when he had met Hinao, a new transfer student who sat beside him.
“Wow, your mom must wake up early to prepare those meals for you,” she said one day during lunch. Picking at her own food as she looked at Chihiro's with sparkling eyes.
“Oh, I make them actually”
“What!?” She turned in her seat to face Chihiro “how did you learn to make stuff like that” that had Chihiro explaining how he started to make meals for him and his father once he was old enough to really handle the stove. Chihiro would even bring her lunch often, the girl gratefully eating the food and handing the box back empty every single time.
When Chihiro took up baking he went to Hinao for her opinion, Tupperware of muffins or cookies he placed between their desks as they shared. One summer day during lunch when they finished their meals, Chihiro handed the other a small baggy filled with sugar cookies he made the night before.
“You already know what college you're going to?” she chewed on the small sugary treat, humming in approval. Chihiro made sure to chew before answering.
“yeah” he handed the girl a small napkin, she gave the boy a quiet thanks “but I still need to figure out a major”
“I would seriously consider going into culinary,” she said as she shoved another piece of cookie into her mouth. Chihiro only stared ahead, culinary school? He thought, sure he was decent at cooking but could he really make a living out of this.
When he got home that night he immediately searched schools that offered culinary majors, seeing some schools have great programs they offer to students. And after talking to his father who immediately agreed without hesitation, saying he would support him no matter what.
So the next morning he walked to the administrative room to tell his teacher he figured out a major. sealing his fate that morning as he wrote culinary on the box listed under majors.
Life was really looking good for Chihiro until it wasn’t, his father had gotten sick when Chihiro was in his first year of college. He had to make the train back home to the mountains where he used to live. The hospital was quiet and cold when Chihiro walked through the hallway looking for his fathers room.
his heart squeezed when he saw his energetic father lay on the hospital bed, his head supported with pillows as he spoke to Shiba.
“Dad” both men turned their heads to the door where Chihiro stood, his eyes filled with worry. His father gave his son a scowl, although his eyes softened upon seeing his child.
“I told you it wasn’t anything serious Chihiro” he sighed leaning his head back on the pillows “I’m fine really, the doctors said I could be discharged tomorrow, seriously don’t you have homework to do? You shouldn’t worry about Me”
“Of course you would say that” he muttered, taking slow steps to stand beside his father's bed “dad you almost had a stroke, your lucky Shiba was there with you” his voice filled with worry and exhaustion. His father avoided eye contact at Chihiro's words, his lips twisting with discomfort.
Chihiro walked Shiba out when he bid farewell to his friend. Both were quiet as they took the elevator down to the main lobby of the hospital. Once outside, Chihiro faced the other man.
“how bad is it” he whispered, Shiba took out a pack of his cigarettes, taking one stick out “ be honest”
Shiba brought the lit cigarette to his lips, taking one drag and exhaling a big cloud of smoke into the night sky. “It’s bad, kid” Chihiro let out a small breath he didn’t know he was holding. “as long as he doesn’t do anything to stress himself out for the time being and he watches his blood pressure the doctor said he will be fine but who knows these days”
After making sure Chihiro would be alright Shiba had left. He stayed in the hospital with his dad making him a small bed on the couch with a blanket a nurse had given him, for just the night. Ignoring His father's complaints that he should just go back home and sleep on an actual bed.
That night Chihiro had trouble sleeping, watching his father peacefully sleep letting out soft snores. The next day his father was discharged, Chihiro immediately ordered his father to rest once they got home, moving to the kitchen to make both of them something to eat.
“You’ve gotten better son” His father said with a mouthful of vegetables. He gave Chihiro a soft smile “one of these days I’m going to proudly announce my son is a chef and has his own restaurant”
“Stop saying nonsense” Chihiro snorted “and who said anything about owning a restaurant”
“look son, you got a special gift” he pointed his fork at Chihiro with a serious expression “why waste such talents under another restaurant, besides they don’t know anything about cooking with love anymore”
Chihiro made sure to make his father a month's worth of meals just until the doctor said anything else about his health, Shiba reassured Chihiro that he would visit his father twice as much now that he was bedridden. Begrudgingly Chihiro left back to his small apartment back in the city making sure to give his father a longer hug this time before leaving.
When he returned back to school Chihiro made sure to work twice as hard, keeping up with his studies and working his day time shifts at the small ramen place near his apartment building. He called his dad every three weeks just to reassure himself that he was fine and there was nothing to worry about.
After four years Chihiro graduated in culinary arts with a certificate in food entrepreneurship. Even though the class was big and the stadium bustling with excitement he still heard his father cheering when he walked across that stage.
“I’m proud of you kid” Shiba shook his head handing the boy a small bouquet of flowers. Chihiro only smiled as he gave the other a hug.
Hinao was even able to make it, immediately throwing herself and cheering for the other claiming he gave her free food once he starts his business.
When he got to his father all he saw was a man who raised a child on his own in a small village up in the mountains. He tried holding back his tears but failed miserably as he held Chihiro in his arms. Chanting how much he was proud of him caused the boy's eyes to water.
They celebrated that night at his home, making everyone a big dinner. Hinao bickering with Shiba as to who inspired Chihiro to take this path, his father placing bets on who would win in a fight. Chihiro let himself relax alongside the people he called family as they ate until their bellies were full and laughed without hesitation.
Chihiro went back to the city that month to work under a well respected chef, recommended by one of his professors who offered him the job once he graduated. The first few months were hell, back to back hours of scheduled work. the rush of the kitchen whenever there was a random wave of customers.
Chihiro started to forget the enjoyment of actually making food, having to rush himself and to not screw up in the kitchen just so he could prove himself worthy of being alongside everyone.
When he had his calls with his father he never mentioned how tired he was and how he sometimes felt like quitting and going back home with his tail between his legs. but hearing his father encouraging him, really pushed Chihiro to not break down completely.
It was another long shift, Chihiro carefully placing the last touches of the many desserts he was assigned to help make. “Rokuhira you got a call” one of the waitresses informed Chihiro walking by with a tray to start loading up with orders, he quickly walked out to the small hallway picking up the phone on the wall
“This is Rokuhira speaking”
“Hey kid it’s Shiba” he heard a exhale on the other line “tried your phone but I guess your working huh”
“Is everything okay? You sound stressed”
“Chihiro your father had another stroke” the line was quiet for a moment before Shiba tired voice spoke quietly “you better come home”
the left side of his ear started to ring, the grip he had on the phone tightened as he staggered just a bit. His eyes started to water and his throat ached as if he swallowed a handful of needles. He didn’t say anything, didn't even put the phone back to its hold on the wall. Quickly walking back to the kitchen and finding his boss telling him the situation and leaving to the back to grab his things.
The train ride was a blur after that, he didn’t remember the taxi ride to the hospital or even how he got to the elevator. He walked along the same cold hallways of the hospital finding a receptionist and was given what room his father was in.
The first thing he saw was his father back in the same hospital bed only this time he looked paler, his chest rising and falling slowly.
“Dad, it's Chihiro I’m back-” His voice choked up at the end, watching his fathers eyes slowly open. He tried to rise but Shiba and him immediately pulled his shoulder down to force him to lay back.
“I’ll give you two some space” Shiba whispered, walking out the room leaving Chihiro and his father in the quiet room.
“Hey son” his voice cracked under the oxygen mask he was given “aren’t you supposed to be working”
“I’m not worried about that right now dad” Chihiro whispered, taking his dads hand in his. His father weakly squeezed his hand back.
“I’ll be out in no time kid” he coughed “such a pain, to young and bed ridden like this”
This made Chihiro let out a small laugh letting his head fall forward to sigh, when he looked back up his father was already staring his eyes softening.
“I never realized how much you’ve grown”
“Don’t say that”
“Why? Hate being grown already?”
“No” chihiro still held his father hands as he avoided eye contact “it just makes it seem like your ready to say goodbye”
It was quiet after that and soon Shiba re-entered the room. “Doc says they're going to run some tests, so we need to leave the room for a moment” Chihiro nodded and gave his dad one last squeeze before walking to the door.
“I love you son”
“I know dad” he gave his father a reassuring smile and walked out with Shiba. both headed to the small cafe the hospital had, grabbing a big cup of coffee and a small pastry just to fill their stomachs. After getting something in their stomach both men walked back down the hallway speaking quietly when Chihiro noticed nurses run into the direction of his fathers room.
Without thinking he bolted down the same way, only to see a crowd of nurses in the room. All shouting to each other as they surrounded his father.
“What’s going on!” He said to no one in particular, one of the nurses noticed him and quickly pushed him out.
“I’m sorry sir but you can’t be in here!”
“That’s my dad- he was fine just- please what’s going on!” He tried to walk further into the room but was pulled back, all he saw was his father lying on his bed as nurses crowded around him.
After that they waited for what felt like hours to Chihiro, his leg shaking up and down waiting to hear anything back. Shiba stayed quiet beside him looking out for the doctor as they waited in the empty lounge.
Soon a doctor walked up to the two Chihiro immediately stood up “I’m sorry-“ the rest Chihiro didn’t hear everything had gone static his heart started to race as he sat back down. It wasn’t true, he was just speaking to his father just a moment ago? He called just days ago acting normal, cracking jokes and asking Chihiro about the city.
He was supposed to be there when Chihiro finally signed the lease to the restaurant, to help him pick out what to serve, to be Chihiro's first customer. His father was supposed to tell the local vendors back home all about his accomplished son.
he didn’t realize how much he was crying when Shiba handed him a tissue, his eyes also red and watery as he looked at Chihiro. He gave Chihiro a hug and both held each other in the empty lounge as the doctor walked off.
When they arrived back home chihiro almost sobbed at how loud the quiet was. The living room is a mess of blankets thrown over the couches, multiple magazines spread across the coffee table with a few uneaten snacks in the middle. Like his father had walked out the room for just a moment just to return back to lounging around.
Shiba went to the kitchen to prepare tea, Chihiro with slow steps walked around the house he grew up in, the warmth was gone and instead replaced with the cold. When he went to the kitchen he saw Shiba already done bowling the water watching as he prepared two mugs.
When he sat at the kitchen table he didn’t notice until now that the fish bowl was placed where chihiro always sat at the same spot he would fight his father for when he was young. the three fishes swimming around to the side of the glass as they saw Chihiro. It was at that moment did Chihiro really realize how alone he was, he broke down into quiet sobs reaching over the table and grabbing the bowl, like a child he hugged the bowl close to his chest.
Chihio doesn’t remember anything after that, the funeral, the number of unfamiliar faces that came up to him and gave their condolences. Each had a story, a history with his father that Chihiro didn’t know about. The house filled with guests as he did what any host did and prepare the food.
That night Chihiro laid in his father's un-made bed, the pillow faintly smelled of the cologne his father always wore with a hint of the warm sun, he always liked being outside. When he was younger and had nightmares, he liked to crawl in his father's bed and curl himself against his father's chest, the scent calming Chihiro down as he let the warmth engulf him with a sense of safety wash over him.
𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧
3 years later
Chihiro was on the closing shift again, a task typically he often didn’t mind taking. Half the customers were either drunk college students and employees that had just gotten off of work, deciding to eat out instead of cooking back at home.
He made sure to prep everything for the morning shift, covering the tins filled with precut fruits and vegetables in saran wrap with labels he wrote in sharpie.
“Rokuhira, there’s a gentleman who wants to eat something, but I told him the kitchen is closed” one of their servers sighed looking at Chihiro for his answer. He looked at the clock above the door seeing it was almost midnight.
“I’ll go tell him myself, you go ahead and clock out” the server hesitated but nodded her head and walked out to the back.
When Chihiro walked out of the kitchen he saw the restaurant empty, when he noticed a blob of white hair face down on one of their booths. His hair a mess as he drooled onto the table as Chihiro got closer to the table, Chihiro noticed he wore light blue scrubs with beaten up sneakers.
“Sorry but we’re closed and can’t get you any food at the moment” he tried but the man only looked up with a sleepy look.
“oh, I’m sorry” he looked around “I just got off a shift and I’m just really hungry”
Chihiro bit his lip as he stared down at the sleepy worker, so he hurriedly went to the back checking anything he could give to him. After checking the contents of the fridge Chihiro took out a loaf of bread and cheese, something quick and easy to clean up after.
Chihiro also let water bowl for a cup of coffee just to wake up for just a moment remembering how droopy the others' eyes had been. The man had been in the same place where chihiro left him, carefully placing the plate and mug in front of the limp body.
“Uhm it’s not much but it’s a simple meal” chihiro spoke up, he watched as the white-haired man raised his head his eyes shut but his lips curved up to a small smile.
“Thank you”
Chihiro watched the other eat in silence, quietly hearing the other man’s approval of the food and taking big gulps of the coffee.
“I skipped my lunch; I was working overtime today” the man finally explained with his big blue eyes looking up at chihiro. After the last bite of cheesy sandwiches was eaten, Chihiro helped the other stand up.
He already turned everything off in the kitchen and grabbed his things, so he was walking out with the strange nurse. He locked the front and turned to the other. “Are you able to get back home, okay?” the nurse yawned and blinked a couple of times before he nodded.
“S’okay” but something in Chihiro's gut told him not to believe the other. After a moment of contemplation and something Shiba would definitely scold him for, Chihiro led the other to his car. He could already hear Shiba’s voice about stranger danger.
“What’s your address?” The sleepy nurse quietly said his address, Chihiro quickly typing it onto maps and soon left the parking lot and onto the quiet streets of the night.
It was a quiet ride, the only noise was a song faintly playing, and the others soft breaths in the passenger seat. Chihiro slowly took turns as he followed the map’s directions. The drive wasn’t long as a large building came into view, he parked the car on the side looking at the passenger seat and seeing the other head slightly fall.
He shook the other awake and felt bad when he saw the other yawn again, he looked around and saw he was home. “Think you will be okay going up?” The tired man only nodded his head and opened the passenger door.
“Thank you driver” and left a bunch of crumbled bills, before chihiro could protest and give him his money back the door slammed shut watching as the other man walked inside his building. Chihiro sat in his car for a moment and drove off still thinking of the other trying to not to worry too much if he got to his home safely.
𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧
Chihiro placed the warm plate of pasta in front of his eager friend, Hinao beamed at the plate, immediately grabbing her fork and digging in. Chihiro shook his head as he went back to the kitchen to fix his own plate.
Every few months Hinao would surprise visit him, before she would simply call just to see if he was still alive but ever since the death of his father, she made sure she saw him with her own eyes, never believing when he told her he was doing fine. He didn’t mind at all in fact he missed having Hinao around, but he thinks she visits partially for the food.
“What do you do in your free time?” Hinao asked once Chihiro sat in front of her with his own steaming plate.
“Well sometimes I like to go on runs and maybe go to the gym if I can” he watched as hinao scowled.
“Are you serious?” she set her fork down “you haven't gone out to the latest cafe? or even go to any clubs?” Chihiro leaned back in his chair trying to think when the last time was, he really went out.
Back in his freshman year before classes started to get a little more stressful, he would hang out with this group of people, they were fun to be around but after the first stroke his father had, Chihiro regrettably started to distance himself.
“Ever since ive been promoted, work has just been getting crazier” hinao gave chihiro a look of concern and pity, her lips twisted and that usually meant she was thinking of something. It was quiet after that, but Chihiro didn't mind. After they had eaten, he grabbed both plates to wash. He was placing the last clean plate in the dishrack when hinao came to stand next to him, hands on her hips with a look of determination.
“We’re going out”
“What?”
“You heard me” she walked off to the guest room “your ass better be ready in one hour!” she shouted, closing her door. Chihiro stood in the kitchen confused, it was only eight pm. He couldn't remember the last time he had gone out; he wanted to go and tell hinao they should just stay in and maybe bake but he knew better than to argue with the stubborn girl.
He dragged himself back to his room and into his walk in closest, he didn't really own much just casual clothing all in the same color, black. Looking at the clothes, it really started to dawn on chihiro how much of a homebody he is, he used to love going out to the markets and festivals but now, he's just become some workaholic. Deep down he knew hinao was right, maybe a couple of drinks wouldn't hurt.
The duo made their way down to the front waiting for their uber, hinao a buzz of excitement next to chihiro talking his ear off about this one club she found on social media. He only nodded as a black car pulled up Infront of them. Chihiro tried not to back out last minute when they neared the club, inside he could faintly see the multi-color lights flashing.
Once inside, Chihiro was really close to just backing out, the music blaring loudly as people danced in the middle and others on the side were all chatting. Hinao held on to chihiros jacket as he made way to the bar. She ordered two shots leaning on the counter to yell out her order. She grinned at Chihiro, handing him a shot glass. The shot was warm in his chest, hinao ordered another and with alcohol now in his system Chihiro started to relax. Even dancing with hinao in the side laughing their asses off by how dumb they probably looked.
When they went back to the bar he felt a tap on his shoulder, when chihiro looked back he choked on his drink. Standing behind him was the nurse from the other night dressed in a loose black dress shirt, the bottom showing a silver of his skin, paired with baggy white pants. He looked a lot better with the bags under his eyes gone and chihiro could really see how big his eyes were. Maybe it was the small wing of makeup in his eyes with black mascara.
“Hey! You're the guy that saved me!” his blue eyed shined brightly as he looked up at chihiro “I tried going back but they said you worked mornings that week”
Chihiro was at lost for word, gaping at the other stupidly when he felt a jab in his ribs making him laugh nervously “it was no problem” he said trying hard not to get distracted by his wide smile “im glad you're doing fine now”
“Hey could I get your number” his eyes widened just a bit “you know- for helping me out, let me treat you to a meal” he hurriedly said. Chihiro could only nod, taking the phone and typing out his number, his hands trembling just slightly from the alcohol or nerves he didn't know. The nurse beamed when he received the phone back.
“Chihiro? Nice to meet you I'm hakuri” he gave chihiro one final smile “I'll get going then” and then he was gone. Chihiro must've been staring when he felt a poke in his face, he swatted hinao hand away looking at his friend who only smiled weirdly.
“Who was that!” she shrieked looking over chihiros shoulder to see the retreating figure.
“Could we leave?” After one last shot they both left the club, chihiro taking hinao to a food stand he usually visited back in uni. They sat in the warm tent eating their food as Chihiro retold what happened that one night in the restaurant where he helped the poor nurse who could barely keep their eyes open.
“You took him home?!”
“Well-”
“You realize how creepy that makes you right?”
“I was worried, he looked really out of it” chihiro tried defending himself, but the more he recounted the story he started to realize how bad that did look. Hinao only scoffed, shoving another fry into her mouth.
“You're unbelievable” she laughed as chihiro scowled slightly “well now what? He's going to take you out on a date or something.”
“It's not a date!” chihiro said
“Why the hell not! Come on he's so interested; besides you really need to start dating and he's right there with big arrows pointing at him saying date me!” she said pointing her fries at chihiro.
“Are you finished?” Chihiro got up collecting their trash, hinao stayed put crossing her arms as she sighed.
“Come on chihiro, I'm always worried about you. It took me until today to find out you practically have no social life” she said softly, chihiro avoided looking at her. He didn't have time to go out these days, and people usually didn't stick around long enough not liking how distant he could get.
“It’s just complicated”
Hinao didn’t say anything after that, after clearing the table they both made it back to the apartment. Chihiro said goodnight to the other as he went back to his room. He peeled the shirt off his body only replacing his jeans for black joggers, he was still thinking about tonight as he laid in bed.
it had been a while since he had gone out, if it weren’t for Hinao he probably wouldn’t have even left his home at all. The only company he had was the three little goldfish that resided in his living room, happily swimming in their new tank Chihiro had gotten when he moved to his new apartment. Even Shiba rarely visited, too busy back at home. Only sending chirhio gifts during special occasions and giving him a call every two weeks. He thought back to when his father scolded him one time for denying having any friends, he always said it was better to be around people then be on your own.