Work Text:
"Ok class, who wants to stay and help me with packing up this classroom over the first few days of summer break!" Mr Nishimiwa. Everybody groans and I look around and nobody wants to help him. ok.. I'll volunteer.. maybe I'll make a new friend! And I can tell.. tachihara I made a new friend.
"I-i will Mr. Nishimiwa." Oh geez I stuttered.. look at them they are all nudging each other while looking at me! There goes my hopes of making a friend.. at least.. the atmosphere is lighter now?
Mr.Nishimiwa claps his hands a little to close to me for comfort but I can't make it weird. "Great! Sadako meet me after class!" He.. said Sadoko, not Osamu, Not dazai, not even Sawako!! Am I really that scary.. even to a teacher?? At least.. he didn't call me demon prodigy like.. they did. I think as a twiddle my fingers. I should.. correct him.
"Mr. Nishimiwa-- my name is S-Sawako!" But by the time the words come out of my mouth he's already walking away to the next kid. I should have tried harder.. I think to myself as I put my head down. If your wondering why they call me Sadoko instead of Sawako it's because.. I have long black hair.. and I don't sleep often so I have dark eyebags under my eyes so that.. sets the look I guess.
Suddenly a boy named Chuuya gets up randomly and yells a bit too loud for my liking, "Mr. Nishimiwa, I'll help too! It's not fair Sadoko always does these extra things over the summer all by himself." Ouch.. that hurts. He called me Sadoko too.. Can't believe the guy I admire.. Called me Sadoko.
I really admire Chuuya he's super popular and he attracts everybody's attention by just speaking! I aspire to be just like him. It might be weird.. or even sound weird. But I just really look up to him!!
Mr. Nishimiya finally looks up and gives a slight nod surprised that someone finally volunteered. "See me after class the both of you then." Wait what? He's gonna be.. in the same room as me?!! And acknowledge me? Oh geez I sound like Ryuunosuke. He wouldn't mind.. me acting like him.. right? No wait!! What if he feels I'm copying his personality!
I look up and I see a few of my classmates like Higuchi, Kajii, Yosano and Edogawa look up from their notebooks and see Chuuya doing this giving a slight nod in approval. Oh people do really like him!! Maybe.. one day I'll have the courage to talk to him. Which seems closer than comfort since we will be helping Mr. Nishimiwa with cleaning his room.
Chuuya jumps up from his seat after class as kids disperse ready for summer break basically jumping on his heels vice versa to me who slowly gets up trudging over making an incredibly screeching noise which I quickly apologize. Chuuya looks at me like I'm crazy but it takes one to know one doesn't it? I mean that's what Gin told Ryuunosuke when Ryuu called her crazy because she was wearing the most itty bitty shorts ever. This makes me homesick. I miss my old school with Ryuu, Gin, Atsushi and Tachihara. I miss Shuzen's stupid smirk. Kenji's enegertic attutide. Kyouka's quiet nature. Especially Oda, my favorite teacher there.
Chuuya looks up at me with wide eyes, "Are you ok?" Am I ok? I don't think I know my answer either. Or worst of all I just don't think people need to hear my response. After all it's just a normal human response. To respond with empathy. Because that's one of the reason's human's evolved. Yet sometimes people can't even do that. But I wouldn't have recognized it anyway.
I was never really the type to look at people's features but now as I look up at Chuuya I can tell a lot of things. He has ginger hair.. Unusually for Japanese people, and he has blue eyes. Isn't that the rarest hair and eye combination? I really need to pay attention in history class or something. Or is it called social class..? This past year has just been a blur of emotions facetimes and schooldays. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Oh right. I didn't answer him. "Uh yeah..?" I think I said it loud enough..
"Huh?"
"Uh?"
"Spit it out Sadoko." He says but with no bite.
"Chuuya is cute." I think randomly.
"Hah? Do you wanna run that by me again?!" He say's furrowing his eyebrows, crossing his arms getting into a fight stance. He must think I'm making fun of me! I said that out loud? Eeek. That's so embarrassing! I just wanna crawl into a pit and die right now.
"Im-."
Mr. Nishimiwa steps in before I can apologize. "Boys, stop it. You, Nakahara. You seemed so eager to help out Sadoko why the arguing now.
The ginger snarls at me and I flinch. Which makes his stance weaken and he gets into a simply slouched position putting his hands in his pocket. "He's making fun of me!"
"Enough Nakahara, start working on picking up those boxes, boys."
I walk over there awkwardly. Not knowing what to do because well how could I? My role model is mad at me! Uh oh.. uhh what can I do? Hmmm what can I do? I've never.. cleared an misunderstanding with anyone from this school. I look infront of me to see the ginger picking up boxes scowling. "Look I just wanted to say--"
"Stop."
"Huh?"
"You heard me, I only decided to help you because I felt bad! I even pitied you. Why are you calling me cute of all of a sudden. Do you think it's funny to make fun of your classmates. I might seem immature for asking this but do you have a bad life at home? Is that why you are acting really rude right now. Even in class you act rude. Ignoring your poor classmates when they offer for you to sit at lunch with them! You seem so lonely why not try to engage with your classmates?" Huh.. Has he not heard the rumors? And who would ever ask me to sit at lunch with them? If they're all scared of me.. Oh wait. I haven't answered Chuuya-senpai.
"They.. ask me to sit at lunch with them.?"
The blue eyed boy stares at me blankly before yelling while tightly holding his sleeve. "Hah? Is that all you took from this! The point is your rude. I don't know if you have a sad life or something but it's really not kind to uh.. ignore people!"
I look at him tilting my head softly, "Oh.. well I sincerely don't really know when.. people speak to me and . I kinda space out in between classes. And.. you don't really call me my name and I was being honest! You are cute." I mumble lightly because its too late to turn back but Chuuya-senpai has seemed to have heard me because his eyes widen before he huffs turning his heel.
"Well.. if you say so. But you can always sit with me and my friends."
"Ok, Chuuya-senpai." I say blankly.
"Uhm, Since we finished picking up all the boxes, I can give you my number..?" He says weary of me. I mean I would be weary too. He seems bipolar because one moment he was yelling at me and the next second he wants to give me his number. Or.. Am I good at clearing misunderstandings?
"I guess." I hand him my phone and I twiddle my thumbs as I wait patiently.
"Also. One thing."
"Yes?"
"Are you a boy or a girl."
"HAH?"
"I mean the teacher calls you a boy but you have really long hair, and I mean. Since you said we were saying your name wrong, we might have got your gender wrong as well? I guess since your kinda preserved you wouldn't correct us. Since.. We've been in the same class for months and everybody calls you Sadoko. Speaking of which. What is your name then."
"My full name is Osamu Sawako Dazai and about the gender thing, I'm a boy, my sister's just insist I grow my hair out." I say trying not to geek out because the boy who everybody loves, is giving me his number!
"Sawako... Can I call you Osamu?"
"My first name?"
"Of course! I let all my friends call me by my first name. Do you not?"
"I mean back at home yes."
"Oh, Where did you used to live?"
"Tokyo."
"Ah the big city."
"Yeah I had a few friends."
"I used to live in french." Chuuya admits shrugging.
"Woah.. Fc rance? Can you say something in French." I say tilting my head as Chuuya chuckles simply saying the 4 words that make me turn red.
"Je trouve que tu es mignon aussi." Does.. He think I don't know French. We literally have French or Spanish classes.
"Je connais le français." I say deadpanning.
The older one turns red walking away from me muttering french curses as I wave bye. I don't know I waved bye because frankly there was no way he was going to see me.