Chapter Text
The dark fog made it incredibly hard to see the figure ahead, and Illuga could feel his head pounding from the previous hit he had taken. A thin line of blood from his nose to his chin burned against skin numbed by the unforgiving cold of the night. He could see his breath with each laboured exhale, his exhausted arms protesting with each brutal blow he had to block with the haft of his polearm. He could hear the distant, familiar cackling echoing and the sharp sounds of metal clashing, along with the painful screeches of each ghoul slain by his companion. And he knew that despite everything, that battle-crazed maniac was enjoying every second of this.
This was not looking good at all.
And this time, Illuga could not even pin the blame on the other for the situation they were in. How they ended up like this had nothing to do with either of them; rather, it was just his terrible, terrible luck. But maybe the silver lining was that he had the Vice Captain with him. For were it not for the knight, Illuga feared he had not lasted this long.
"Illuga," Vice Captain said, wearing the easy smile he always did, as he picked up his pace to catch up to the other. Illuga's steps came to a halt with the familiar voice, and he turned around to confirm that it was indeed Lohen. "A day patrol? You? I was beginning to think you simply didn't feel accomplished enough if you didn't torture yourself with night patrols."
Illuga sighed, already used to Lohen's teasing, as he watched the other approach him. "Greetings to you, too, Sir Lohen."
"Sir Lohen?" Lohen repeated, placing a hand on his hip as he stopped at an appropriate distance. Lohen did not understand Illuga's insistence on using such formalities, since they were quite close already- or at least, Lohen considered Illuga quite close.
"... Lohen," Illuga corrected himself, clearing his throat with a hand over his mouth as if he was caught doing something bad. "And, frankly, I had thought you were too busy making your subordinates do your patrols for you."
A familiar laugh reached his ears. An easy, casual laugh. It was not every day that they got to talk like this, but every time they did, Illuga found himself feeling lighter.
Maybe having Lohen accompany him on this patrol would not be so bad.
Illuga blinked back to reality as a sharp pain shot through his arm, his stance shifting immediately as he raised his polearm to block the next strike aimed at his throat. Getting lost in his thoughts cost him a huge scratch on his left bicep, something he could not afford at the moment, not when he could feel his muscles burning with fatigue, not when he had already lost a lot of blood. He had to move forward, to catch up with Lohen, but it was getting increasingly harder with the fog and the relentless attacks closing in from all sides. "Lohen!" This damn fog was starting to really get on his nerves.
Each unanswered call from the knight twisted the knot of worry in his stomach tighter and tighter. "Damn it, Lohen-" They had to retreat; Illuga had long since figured it out. If he could only get a grip on Lohen, he would drag him all the way back to the camp without a second thought. If only he were less incompetent...
Every suffocating thought echoing through his head fell silent the moment the fog finally gave way to the light of his lantern when he finally managed to get a few steps in. His polearm lay embedded in the ground nearby, Lohen was pointing his trembling arm towards the giant wilderness ghoul in front of him, aiming sloppily with his crossbow. The knight looked just as battered, if not worse, deep scratches marring his body as crimson spread across his uniform in uneven patches. Illuga's breath caught the instant he saw the ghoul’s claws rushing toward Lohen’s unguarded left side.
It was a painfully familiar sight. A scene he knew far too well.
"Hang on just a little more," Illuga begged, his fingers unsteady as he scrambled to stop the bleeding on the knight's abdomen, his eyes wide with horror. "You will be alright, just keep taking deep breaths." The knight lay motionless before him, his skin pale, a sharp contrast to the blood slowly pooling beneath him. And despite the hellish pain he must be in, he had a small, trusting smile on his lips. "Is that so?..." He spoke quietly, his eyes fluttering shut. Each breath came slower than the last as exhaustion finally began catching up to him. "Then, I'm leaving myself to your care... Captain."
This could not be happening, no— this cannot be happening, thought Illuga. He would not let another dear colleague take his last breath in his arms. He was NOT going to let it happen. Shaking his head, Illuga reached for the medical supply bag once again, sweat running from his forehead down his chin. However horrified he was, he had to remain calm, he had to stop his stupid hands from trembling if he was going to be of any help to Lohen. “You will be alright,” Illuga whispered again, trying far harder to believe it himself than to make the knight believe it. And yet, the knight was not half as nervous as the lightkeeper taking care of him. 'I know, birdie, I will be alright,' he wanted to say, but his lips did not move, numbness slowly spreading through his face. Maybe it was because Illuga was good at comforting, or that Lohen genuinely trusted him, but he was content lying his head on the lightkeeper's thighs as he slowly sank into unconsciousness.
"LOHEN!" Without a second thought, Illuga lunged forward, his grip tightening around his polearm, ignoring the ache in his legs entirely. He had only one chance to stop that familiar terror from becoming reality again. The image of Lohen lying so still, so deathly pale in his arms, had long since etched itself into his mind, staining his nightmares night after night, a cruel, lasting reminder of how incompetent he was. Why was it that, every time, every time, he was the only one who survived, who was unharmed?
No- He could not afford to let the abyss cloud his judgement. He was the squad leader of the Nightmare Orioles, he had been fighting against the wild hunt for as far as he could remember. He was going to keep his cool, step forward, block that attack with his polearm, and-
"GHCK-"
.
.
.
The knight's head snapped to his side as the sound of the lightkeeper's polearm slipping from his fingers and clattering to the ground filled the silence. The sight that greeted him made the blood drain from his face—the ghoul’s claw had pierced clean through Illuga beneath the right shoulder, its bloodied tip jutting from his back in a gruesome bloom of crimson. His cool, collected demeanor shattered into a million pieces by the sight before him. The ghoul ripped free its claw with the sickening sound of flesh tearing, and another pained groan ripped from Illuga's lips. Illuga collapsed to the ground with a loud thud, his quavering fingers clutching at the torn fabric of his sweater around the mangled wound.
"Illuga-..."
Far quicker to recover from his shock, Lohen snatched up the fallen polearm and raised it just as the ghoul’s claws came tearing toward him. The sheer force behind the collision sent him stumbling backward before he crashed onto his back, the impact knocking the air from his lungs. "Gh-" Lying on his back, he braced the polearm horizontally between them as the ghoul bore down on him, its claws inching closer despite his desperate resistance.
"You- Damned-"
Lohen suddenly let go of the polearm with one hand, letting the butt of the polearm stab the ground right beside his throat, as his hand shot forward to clutch the ghoul. In a blinding flash, the knight's Vision burst into a violent glow as a jagged spike of ice suddenly tore through the ghoul’s body from his hand, exploding from its back in a spray of dark purple gunk. The ghoul's movements slowed down, its strength draining from its body as, eventually, it too started to turn into dust that disappeared into the night sky.
Lohen's fingers were all frozen as his shivering hand dangled in the air, the ice creeping up his arms as a consequence of the severe overuse of Cyro. He could hardly breathe with how deep the ice had run inside his flesh, rolling to the side as crimson dots splattered around the ground with a short fit of coughing. He looked up with wide eyes, his eyes fixed on the sight of the lightkeeper clutching at his wound, his pale face contracted in pain. "Illuga!" Lohen pushed himself up on his arms, rushing to the lightkeeper's side in mere seconds. "You- fucking- why the fuck did you jump in front of me?!"
He cradled the lightkeeper in his arms, the tips of his fingers trembling with horror. "Illuga! Don't you dare pass out on me now, come on, open your eyes!" Lohen aggressively shook the boy in his arms, gaining another groan from him as Illuga's eyes fluttered open. Lohen felt a wave of relief washing over him; the breath he didn't even notice he was holding inside finally freed itself from his lungs. His expression softened ever slightly, hope returning to his otherwise dull eyes. "There... there you are, birdie... I will get you help, okay? Keep those damn eyes open for me, you hear me?"
A huff of amusement fell from Illuga's lips despite the agonizing pain he was in, his head falling back in the knight's arms. Illuga could not feel the warmth of the knight's body at all, it felt like he was sinking down into abyss. "You suck at comforting..." And yet, Illuga obliged, forcing himself to keep his eyes open, the pale blue irises fixed on the knight's crimson irises. "You focus on staying the fuck awake," Lohen mumbled as he tucked one arm behind Illuga's back and his other arm beneath Illuga's legs as he pushed himself to his feet with urgency.
Oh, how the roles have reversed so tragically.
.
.
.
It was all a blur.
Lohen rushed inside the medical tent of Favonius Keep with an unconscious Illuga in his arms, completely hysterical. A relaxing, quiet night gave way to utter chaos as medics scrambled to stop the blood from pouring out of the mangled wound in the lightkeeper's shoulder.
Lohen had never been more terrified in his life. The situation was grim, the knight was told without filter. It was by some incredible coincidence that the claw of the exile missed every vital spot, but throughout the way, Illuga had lost a deadly amount of blood. The lightkeeper looked like he was already dead; his skin as pale as paper, and his body completely limp.
Between his frantic pacing and attempts at assisting the medics, Lohen stumbled over his words to explain what happened to a very confused Grand Master and a very concerned lightkeeper the Grand Master brought with him. It wasn't long before the tall lightkeeper left for Piramida, probably to inform their superiors, Lohen assumed.
Hours passed like seconds. During this time, many lightkeepers came by for a report of their captain's current situation, and Lohen could only sit beside Illuga's bed as the medics once again spoke vaguely, refusing to give hope. At some point, Lohen stopped trying to explain how they got surrounded, how the attacks never stopped, how Illuga just... it all made his head feel like it's about to explode.
But his birdie was resistant; he knew it. After what felt like forever, Lohen was informed that the lightkeeper's situation was stable as of now and that he would be okay. Lohen almost did not believe it.
But before he could actually begin to relax, then came the interrogation.
.
.
.
"I told you, I wasn't out to seek out battle! I was actually doing my patrol for once!" Lohen shouted, swinging his hands in the air aggressively, as a very exasperated Grand Master sighed deeply, folding his arms over his chest. "So you two coming across some huge mob of wild hunt was just some coincidence?" He shook his head, not believing a word the Vice Captain was saying. "Ugh, Grand Master, I'm this close to stabbing your guts out."
The distant sounds barely reached his ears, his restless eyes fluttering as he slightly shifted his head in search of a more comfortable position.
"Has the young master woken up yet?" Another voice was heard between the two arguing men, a much calmer sound that stopped their bickering. Lohen turned his head to the familiar lightkeeper that always popped up next to either his birdie or the Grand Master for some reason. The lightkeeper stood tall, his pale purple hair falling down his shoulders, his dark-colored attire perfectly proper as always. "Ah, Flins," the Grand Master turned his attention to the Lightkeeper, his hand awkwardly resting at the back of his neck. "No, he's still-"
How... noisy. How incredibly annoying.
Yet so... relieving.
"He's not lying."
The whole room fell silent. The tree men held their breath for a few seconds without even realizing it.
Lohen was the first to rush towards the man lying on the bed in the corner of the room. "Illuga!"
"Thank Barbators..." A whisper left the Grand Master's lips as the shorter knight fussed over the newly awakened lightkeeper. "It is most relieving indeed." Flins nodded modestly, placing his hand over his chest as his posture softened visibly.
"How are you feeling? Dizzy? Nauseous? Numb?"
The Grand Master clapped a hand down onto Lohen's shoulder, pulling the man back from the obviously puzzled lightkeeper. "Give the poor guy some space, you rascal."
Illuga closed his eyes once more, not yet used to the bright light of the lantern inside the room, every little noise that reached his ears giving him headaches. As he breathed in and out slowly, the situation slowly registered in his mind. He was greatly wounded in battle, and the last thing he remembered was being carried by the Vice Captain. Then, the terrible ache around his left shoulder finally hit him. His brows furrowed as he winced slightly, exhaling sharply.
"Young Master, allow me to get you a glass of water." The calm, soothing voice of his colleague got Illuga to open his eyes again. As voices started getting clear again, Illuga turned his face to see what all that noise was about.
The captain found himself smiling at the scene before him despite the great ache all over his body. Lohen threatening to bite the Grand Master's hand off, the Grand Master wincing with the thought and pulling his hand away as if it burned him, and his colleague pausing where he stood when he noticed the water pot was empty.
"Ah..." The tall lightkeeper awkwardly cleared his throat, being reminded just a day ago, the Young Master had visited him with supplements... including a huge container of water. The irony wasn't lost on him.
"Thank you, Sir Flins, but I'm okay." Illuga waved his hand weakly, his voice coming out strained. "Grand Master..." He called out, successfully grabbing the larger man's attention. The larger knight took a step closer, ceasing his bickering with Lohen. "Just Varka is fine, kid. How are you feeling? Is there anything I can do for you?"
"...Not a kid, Sir Varka."
"Sorry- force of habit," the Grand Master rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, an apogeletic smile on his face. "Illuga," he corrected himself, his hand falling to his side once again.
"I've... been better. But I will be okay. Thank you for your kind words. I do not need anything."
Illuga could see the way tension left his shoulders with his reassurance. "Sir Lohen wasn't lying." Illuga continued, turning his eyes to the uncharacteristically silent man standing behind. "We came across during patrols, he was at the end of his, so he very kindly offered to accompany me until the end of mine."
The fact that Illuga's first instinct upon waking up was to defend Lohen, after hours spent hovering between life and death, did not go unnoticed by the other lightkeeper. "How very considerate of you, Vice Captain Lohen. I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for looking after our Young Master." Flins joined the conversation, bowing ever so slightly with elegance etched to his every move as usual. Lohen, however, looked less than impressed.
"I told you."
The Grand Master sighed deeply, an awkward smile on his face. "I see... I guess I owe you an apology, Lohen."
"You guess?"
"... I apologize for not believing you."
"Not accepted."
The tall lightkeeper let out a huff of amusement despite his efforts to keep it in, the back of his hand reaching up to cover his mouth. "We should let the Young Master rest." He offered. Illuga was so grateful to Flins for changing the subject and stopping those two from bickering once again. Seriously, every little noise felt like a nail to his head. "Ah, right- I also need to inform the medic team that you have woken up. Take it easy for a while, alright?"
Illuga nodded his head gently, a kind smile on his face. The tall lightkeeper bowed slightly, a hand placed towards his shoulder. "Farewell, Young Master. I wish you a very swift recovery."
The Grand Master and the lightkeeper exited the room one by one, leaving Illuga and the knight alone in silence.
The knight stayed quiet for only a few seconds longer before making his way towards the bed which Illuga was lying on once again. He sat down on the edge of the rather rough bed, both of his hands reaching out to very gently grasp the lightkeeper's left hand. "Illuga..."
Lohen brought his hand towards his face, and Illuga felt Lohen's lips on his knuckles, a touch so fleeting as if he was afraid to hurt him, causing a faint warmth to spread in Illuga's chest. The gesture was so uncharacteristically sweet coming from the knight that Illuga felt a small smile tug on the corners of his lips. "That was... incredibly reckless of you to just... charge in front of me."
The warmth in his chest disappeared as soon as it appeared, along with the smile. Illuga did not even bother answering. He lost count of the times Lohen had thrown himself right into danger with that frustrating grin on his face.
"... Well, I at least did not get myself almost killed."
Illuga's eyes narrowed, his silence louder than words.
"... Okay, fine, I get it, I get how you're feeling now, stop looking at me like that."
Illuga looked at him like that.
"Birdie..."
The lightkeeper sighed. How could he keep up the silent treatment when Lohen looked a little too much like a kicked puppy? "Idiot... I'm glad you're okay."
Lohen couldn't help but feel all too guilty that his birdie had put his life on the line for him. Yet there was also that strange, deep affection he was feeling. He slowly leaned in, gently pressing his lips against Illuga's forehead. "Thanks to you... But please, don't ever do that again..." His voice was barely above a whisper, his lips brushing against Illuga's forehead with every word.
"I'm sorry..." Illuga found himself apologizing once again; it did not help that he knew exactly how Lohen felt. It was a feeling Illuga was terrifyingly familiar with. He didn't want Lohen to ever feel that way again. He never wanted to be vulnerable like that, to be in a position where he could not get up on his feet to protect those dear to him. He did not want to hear Lohen's voice so broken ever again...
"Don't apologize... It's okay, you're okay." Lohen's lips traveled down to Illuga's cheek, leaving a small kiss there too. One of his hands reached up to gently cradle Illuga's cheek as he pulled away just enough to see eye to eye. "You're gonna be the death of me, birdie..." Lohen meant every word. He genuinely thought that he was about to die from how tight his chest was feeling every second the medic team fought for Illuga's life. To be so helpless, to only be able to watch as Illuga's skin paled further and further, it was something that would be etched into his mind for a long while.
Lohen leaned down to press the softest peck over Illuga's lips, closing the distance between them only for a second. Illuga's eyes fluttered closed with the contact, his breath catching in his throat. His own hand slowly reached up to lightly rest on the back of the knight's neck, his fingertips brushing against the soft locks he found there. The kiss was as short as it was soft. Lohen pulled away just enough to open his eyes and look into those pale blue irises. Illuga didn't move for a few seconds, but in the end, he couldn't help pulling Lohen in for another kiss.
This warm and fuzzy feeling every time their lips made contact was impossible not to get addicted to. He loved how gentle the knight was with him despite his nature, how his fingertips brushed against his skin, leaving goosebumps all over him, despite how many times they did this.
And yet, this one wasn't as soft as the first, as Illuga felt Lohen's tongue tracing his lower lip. "Mmh... Lohen-" Illuga tried to protest, he had already been feeling anxious about someone walking on them, so he gently attempted to push Lohen away a little. But Lohen did not seem to want to pull away yet, his hands finding Illuga's cheeks as he deepened the kiss, swallowing Illuga's gasps.
Illuga couldn't resist at the end, not when he knew how much Lohen needed this, and how good it felt, how it seemed to numb all the aches and make him forget all about the brutal battle, even if only for a few seconds. Illuga parted his lips for Lohen, allowing the knight to take the lead of the kiss, his fingers clutching at the soft locks on the other's nape.
Despite his apparent enthusiasm, Lohen pulled away slowly, taking deep breaths as his eyes met with those pale blues he adored. "...Feeling better?" Illuga was the first to break the silence between them, his eyes searching Lohen's expression as his fingers loosened around the locks he was pulling. "...Yeah." Lohen sighed, leaning down to bury his face in the soft skin of Illuga's neck, letting the world muffle away. Illuga couldn't help but let a little smile spread across his face, slowly running his fingers through Lohen's hair.
And yet, Illuga pouted when he felt Lohen's lips pressing against his neck. "Lohen." Illuga warned, his eyes darting to the door to make sure it was not left ajar. Lohen whined, further snuggling into Illuga's neck in protest. "Ow-"
Lohen's head snapped back immediately, his eyes wide with the fear of hurting Illuga as he looked up. Illuga saw the look on Lohen's face, like a deer in headlights, or rather, a bunny in headlights, and he couldn't help the corners of his lips twitching in amusement. Lohen's cheeks burned with embarrassment quickly, his stunned face giving way to a betrayed expression. "You did that on purpose!"
Illuga couldn't hold his laughter, turning his head away and hiding his mouth behind the back of his hand, but his shaking shoulders gave him away anyway. "I'm sorry-" Lohen reached out, grabbing Illuga's wrist and prying his hand away, climbing on top of him on the bed and pinning Illuga's wrist next to his head. "Liar, you're not sorry at all." Despite himself, Lohen couldn't help the chuckle escaping his own lips at the sight of Illuga chuckling beneath him like a teenager pulling pranks. Seeing him laughing so easily eased the knot in his guts, melting the worry away. "Hey- Lohen-"
But just because Illuga was cute did not mean he could escape the consequences of his little ploy. "Ow ow ow- hey- Lohen-" Illuga tried pulling Lohen's hair to stop him from biting his neck, but it was futile. It wasn't hard or anything, in fact, it tickled more than it hurt, causing Illuga to weakly kick his legs, more giggles filling the empty room.
Another incident was left behind. Hopefully the last one.
Hopefully, none of them would have to live through that terror again.
And despite his experiences, Illuga actually felt hopeful. Hopeful that, they would be okay.