Work Text:
"Dear," Glynda says to her wife, "I thought this was vegan food." She aches to rub her temples, but there's no point in staving off the impending headache.
"It is!" her lovely wife replies, waving the menu at her vaguely.
Some of Ozpin's long white hair has come loose from their ponytail and Glynda tucks it behind their ear, which coincidentally lets her avoid looking at the menu.
"Just listen to this," Ozpin says, running a finger down the "shareables" section because they do not care about Glynda's suffering. "I AM NEXT-LEVEL: Well, I'd certainly say you are next-level, to use the kids' terminology. I AM CARING: Definitely! In fact, I'd say that vegan food is particularly caring for the environment and for your body OW—"
Ozpin looks up at Glynda, their eyes shining behind their glasses. "My love, something seems to have pulled my hair."
"Yes. Something indeed." Glynda blinks. "Dear, this place looks a little bit over-priced. And don't you prefer your food more... greasy?"
Ozpin smiles so softly it could almost trick Glynda's heart. Almost. "Well, if you insist... Although the I AM DAZZLING looked interesting."
"I think we've had enough DAZZLING for tonight," Glynda says firmly.