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“Force, Barriss, I’m in love. Seriously.”
Ahsoka Tano never had mastered the skill of quietly entering rooms, Barriss noted as the door to her quarters slid open and her very loud girlfriend interrupted her reading on High Republic history. Barriss jolted at the unexpected intrusion.
“Oh, sorry! I did the thing again, didn’t I?”
Barriss took some deep breaths to calm her racing heart. “Yes, Ahsoka, you ‘did the thing’.”
“Sorry, Barriss,” Ahsoka half-whispered, as if overcorrecting her volume constituted an apology.
“You’re fine, just try to remember I startle easily. Now what’s this about being in love?”
Ahsoka made herself aggressively comfortable on Barriss’ couch, laying her legs across her lap with the signature Ahsoka Tano lack of regard for personal space. “Well, I’m in love with you, obviously. But that wasn’t what I was talking about.”
“Unfortunate.”
“Barriss, I helped out in the creche today, and it was the best day of my entire life. The younglings are just so precious.”
“So your maternal instincts kicked in, then?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? All I know is that my brain kind of went mushy from all the cuteness. Barriss, there was this little Mirialan girl there, she reminded me so much of you!”
“Just because of her species? Tsk, Ahsoka, how problematic of you.”
“No, she was just so quiet, and she spent most of the time just sitting in the corner reading.”
“I’m glad to know that’s how you think about me. Antisocial and literate. The two core personality traits of Barriss Offee, according to the woman she continues to date for some Force-forsaken reason.”
“Stop teasing, Barriss!” Ahsoka pouted. “She was such a sweetheart. I sat down next to her while she was reading, and she didn’t say anything but she immediately cuddled up to me and eventually fell asleep leaning on me.”
“Okay, I take everything I said back. That is absolutely something I would do.”
“It’s something you have done. Multiple times.”
“Sorry for wanting affection but not being comfortable asking for it, I guess.”
“It’s okay, I’ll forgive it in light of your many other positive qualities.” Ahsoka shifted position to cuddle up to Barriss and wrap her arms around her. Barriss smiled. “Thank you, dear.”
“You should come with me to the creche tomorrow, if you’re not too busy. Master Beq could use the help, and I guarantee you’ll fall in love too.”
“I… am not the biggest fan of children, Ahsoka. They are very loud and high-pitched, not to mention quite often unsanitary.”
“These are Jedi kids, though, Barriss. They’re very well-behaved, honestly.”
“Mmhrh.” Barriss shifted closer to Ahsoka. “I guess tending to younglings for one day can’t be that bad.”
“So you’ll come with me then?”
“I suppose so.”
Ahsoka gazed fondly at Barriss. “I love the way you talk. You always use, like, three words in place of one. It’s so… you.”
Barriss blushed in sudden self-consciousness. “Oh. Um. I don’t–”
“Oh, sorry, that was probably one of those things I should admire silently because if I point it out you’ll feel weird about it, right?”
“...Probably. It’s fine, though.”
“Just promise not to change the way you talk because I pointed it out, please?”
“I promise.”
“Good. Wanna watch some holos, then have sex and cuddle each other to sleep?”
“You ask me that as if that’s not always what we do in the evenings.”
“Well, I don’t want to assume anything.”
Barriss kissed Ahsoka on the cheek. “I’m teasing, my love. Thank you for asking, and yes, let’s do all three of those.”
Ahsoka was even more of a ball of energy in the morning than usual. As they made their way to the Temple canteen for firstmeal, she almost seemed to hum with excitement.
“You’re gonna love them, I promise, Barriss. It’s impossible not to.”
“I hope so.”
When they arrived at the creche, Master Beq was supervising playtime for a group of younglings. “Ah, Ahsoka!” he said, upon noticing her arrival. “Glad to have you back. The younglings loved you yesterday.” Indeed, a few of the small future Jedi’s faces lit up and Barriss heard gasps of “Soka!!!!” as they registered her presence.
“The feeling was mutual, Master Beq. I decided to bring a friend along today—you know Barriss, right?”
“I do indeed. It’s nice to see you, Barriss. Everyone? Say hello to Knight Barriss Offee.” A chorus of greetings erupted from the children, although very few of them actually pronounced Barriss’ name correctly. “Congratulations on your Knighthood, by the way.”
“Oh.” Barriss paused for a second. “It’s been… a little while since that happened.”
“It’s still an achievement to be celebrated. Especially given what a great service you did to the galaxy in that process.”
Even nearly two years later, Barriss didn’t particularly like to talk about the fact that she had exposed Darth Sidious’ grand plan and had personally struck the blow that killed the Dark Lord. She had, at least, come around on being thanked for her actions; two years had convinced her that the galaxy would look significantly different, and not in a positive way, if she hadn’t intervened when she did.
“Oh yes, I… Thank you, Master.”
“Hey!” One of the younglings now clustering around them, a Zabrak boy, yelled; “I know you! You’re the one that killed Palat–Palpa–the Sith guy! Tell us about it, pleeeeease?”
“I’m afraid it’s not quite the kind of drama you might be hoping for. He was trying to goad Ahsoka and he underestimated me, and I took the opportunity and aimed my strike correctly. If you want an exciting story of someone defeating a Sith, you should ask Master Kenobi how he beat Maul sometime.”
“We already know that one!” protested a violet Twi’lek girl. “Master Kobi tells us that one every time.”
“Well, you all should make sure to remember that fighting Sith lords is not the most important thing we Jedi do. We are servants of the people, and we use our wisdom and strength in the Force to help those in need. Sometimes that necessitates fighting, but fighting should never be a goal in and of itself. Master Yoda used to say that a Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never attack.”
“Wise words, Barriss,” said Master Beq.
“Ooh!” the Zabrak boy spoke again. “Did you fight in the Clone Wars, Miss Knight?”
Oh. The question hit Barriss like a ton of bricks. Right—this was the generation of younglings who had grown up hearing stories of the Negotiator, the Hero Without Fear, and all the other wartime propaganda that made the Clone Wars sound like a fun adventure and not the harrowing and pointless conflict they were. Well, if she was to play her part in healing the Order from the scars of the war, she should tell the younglings the truth.
“I did, yes,” she said carefully. “It was the worst experience of my life, and it nearly caused me to Fall—as it did for our entire Order. There is no glory in war, and I know that firsthand.” She felt her muscles tensing as she continued. “I happen to be skilled in Force healing, which of course meant that I was often assigned to medical duties. Let me explain to you what being a field medic is like.
“First of all, you will see the most gut-wrenching, grisly injuries you can imagine. I have seen every way a person can be torn apart, pierced, bludgeoned, blasted, and sliced open. I still see them every time I close my eyes.
“Second, you cannot save everyone—and by this, I don’t mean that some people are too injured to survive. I mean that a lot of the people who you absolutely could have treated will die, because you cannot be everywhere at once, and you have to constantly decide whose life is worth the time it takes to save it.
“Third, and most importantly, it doesn’t matter. The people whose lives you save are not actually saved; they’re simply sent back out to suffer again. I have brought people back from the brink of death only to see them again, freshly maimed, a day later. That is what war is. Not the posters you saw with shiny white clone troopers flanking a heroic Jedi with saber held high. Those are a lie told by the ones who profit from sentient misery.”
“Oh.” The Zabrak boy had gone pale, fear and shock illustrated on his face. Master Beq patted Barriss on the shoulder.
“Knight Offee, I appreciate your perspective, but I fear you might traumatize the younglings. Remember your audience.”
“This is important, Master Beq. If we don’t want the Clone Wars to happen again, every young Jedi needs to know what they were really like.”
“You’re cool, Miss Barriss,” said another youngling, a Pantoran girl. “Everyone talks to us like we’re kids. You talk like we’re people, and say real stuff even if it’s scary. That’s cool.”
“Thank you.” Barriss smiled at the girl, while Master Beq shot her a look.
“Alright now, let’s give Ahsoka and Barriss some time to get settled in, and not bombard them with questions, okay?” asked Master Beq. The younglings spread out, and Barriss was finally able to get an overview of the room—stocked with plenty of toys, many of which required Force manipulation to play with, as well as supplies for art and a large bookshelf. Beside the bookshelf, Barriss spotted who she assumed was the Mirialan girl Ahsoka talked about, sitting apart from the rest of the clan, nose buried in a book which seemed surprisingly dense for the girl’s age. Barriss walked over to say hello. She bent down to the girl’s eye level, but detected no sign that the girl had noticed her at all.
“Hello, friend,” she said, as softly and gently as she could. The girl didn’t respond.
“What are you reading?” she asked, a bit louder. The girl still didn’t reply. Barriss sat there, apparently at an impasse.
“Shorne, dear,” said the voice of Master Beq behind her. “I believe Barriss wants to say hello to you.” The girl looked up from her book and blinked several times, dazed.
“Hello, friend,” Barriss repeated; “what is your name?”
“Shorne,” replied the girl. “Shorne Ohil.”
“That’s a beautiful name, Shorne. I’m always happy to see another daughter of Mirial here at the Temple.”
“I’m the only one in my clan,” said Shorne. “Actually, I don’t know if there are any others in the creche at all.”
“That sounds about right,” said Barriss. “I was the only Mirialan in the creche when I was a youngling, as well. Do you know Master Luminara, Shorne?”
“Yeah, she sometimes comes in and tells stories for us. She’s really nice.”
“She is.” Barriss smiled. “She was my master before I became a Knight, you know. My lineage has been Mirialans training Mirialans as far back as the days of the High Republic, actually.”
Shorne looked up at her, spellbound. “That’s so cool! Why does your lineage do that?”
“Mirial has its own traditions as pertains to the Force, which we have to leave behind in becoming Jedi, but by teaching each other, we keep those traditions alive within the Order. That’s why I cover my hair, and wear the style of clothes I do. And the reason I have these tattoos, as well.” Barriss showed Shorne the diamonds on the backs of her hands.
“Your tattoos are so pretty! Can I get ones like that?”
“Maybe so, when you become a Padawan. Each tattoo represents an accomplishment, you see. This is my most recent one—” she pointed at the diamond on her forehead, which stood alone above the array that crossed her nose and cheeks—“which I received for becoming a Jedi knight.”
“Can you be my master, then?”
Barriss smiled. “Check back with me in a few years,” she said; “I believe both of us would benefit from becoming older and wiser before I take you as an apprentice. I would be honored to continue the tradition of my lineage and train another Mirialan, though. How old are you, Shorne?”
“I’m seven.”
“We’ll see how you feel about me in six years, then. If you ever want to know anything about our culture, or our Force traditions, though, please come and ask me or Master Luminara. We’d both be happy to share our knowledge.”
Barriss only now took notice of a purring sound beside her, and a warm mass leaning up against her. She looked to her side to see a Togruta girl, probably about the same age as Shorne, snuggled up to her and purring contently. Barriss’ heart melted a little, and she understood more what Ahsoka had been saying about falling in love.
“Now who are you, friend?”
“I’m Kashona,” said the girl. “You’re really pretty, Miss Toffee.”
Barriss chuckled. “It’s just ‘Offee,’ dear; no T. It’s a bit of a shame, I would love to share my name with a sweet treat. And thank you very much, that’s really sweet of you to say.” She scritched Kashona between her montrals, and the girl purred louder.
“Sorry, Shorne, I didn’t mean to ignore you.”
“It’s okay, Miss Barriss. Kashona is very distracting. She always interrupts my reading to ask me to cuddle. It’s okay though, she’s nice.”
“I know how cuddly Togruta tend to be, believe me,” said Barriss, glancing towards Ahsoka.
“Are you and Miss Soka married?” asked Kashona.
Barriss laughed softly, but also blushed. “No, we’re not, dear one. Jedi aren’t allowed to marry, unless they’re Wayseekers, and neither of us are.”
“Oh, okay. You smell like her, though.”
“Ahsoka is my best friend,” Barriss explained, leaving out the part of their relationship that was more complicated with respect to the Order’s stance on attachments. “We spend a lot of time together. That’s probably why we smell the same.”
“Oh.” said Kashona. “I see. Have you kissed her, at least?”
Mercifully, Ahsoka chose this moment to come and check on Barriss.
“I seem to have found miniature versions of the two of us,” said Barriss, as Kashona snuggled up to her older counterpart while Shorne returned to her book. Ahsoka looked at the two young girls and giggled at Barriss’ comment.
“This one’s a little menace,” she said, lifting Kashona up into her lap and scritching her under her rear lek. “I’m surprised she hasn’t bitten you yet.”
“Miss Soka?” asked Kashona. “Have you kissed Miss Toffee? You two smell like each other.”
“You can’t say things like that, dear,” said Ahsoka softly. “Most other species don’t have as strong a sense of smell as we do, and they tend to think it’s rude to comment on people’s scents.”
“But have you kissed her? I think she wants to kiss you, Miss Soka. I feel it in the Force.”
Barriss must have unconsciously let her shields down when she was talking to Kashona, she thought. That was a costly lapse of concentration.
“What do you think, Kashona dear?” Ahsoka continued to handle the conversation with remarkable tact.
“I think you’ve kissed her, Miss Soka. Probably a lot of times.”
“Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t. A lady never kisses and tells, you know?”
“Oh. Is that a rule?”
“It’s not a rule really, it’s just polite. People have a lot of big feelings about other people kissing, so it’s just easier to not talk about it except with people you trust a lot.”
“Do you not trust me?”
“Kashona, remember yesterday when we were playing, and I made you promise you wouldn’t bite me? What did you do afterwards, Kashona?”
Kashona looked down bashfully. “...I bit you. I’m sorry, Miss Soka.”
“I accept your apology, Kashona. But you understand how that makes it harder to trust you, right?”
“...yeah.”
“Good.” Ahsoka patted Kashona between the montrals. “That doesn’t mean I don’t like you, okay? I promise.”
“Would Miss Toffee bite you after she promised not to?”
“No, Kashona, she wouldn’t.” Ahsoka smiled at Barriss. “I trust Barriss very, very much.”
Master Beq cleared his throat. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s getting to be naptime for these little ones. Everyone say thank you to Miss Barriss and Miss Ahsoka, alright?” A chorus of mostly-mispronounced thanks came from the younglings as Barriss and Ahsoka took their leave.
“So,” said Ahsoka, locking arms with Barriss as they walked back to her quarters, “what’d you think?”
“I enjoyed that a lot. I fear I may have accidentally promised Shorne that I would take her on as a Padawan once she was old enough, though.”
“I mean, you will, right?”
“If all goes well. It would be an honor to train another daughter of Mirial, and Shorne seems like a kindred spirit as well. Have you picked out a future Padawan, then?”
“Not really, no; they’re all so precious, I can’t really choose.”
Barriss shot her a sidelong glance. “We both know it’s going to be Kashona, though, right?”
“For me? Force, no. I love that girl to bits, but I think she would drive me kriffing crazy.”
“That does seem to be the tradition for your lineage, though.”
“Well, maybe I want to break from tradition. Find a Padawan who’s calm and well-behaved, you know?”
“Master Luminara thought she was getting that when she chose me, but then I went and started dating the latest member of the so-called ‘Disaster Lineage’, so it’s not foolproof.”
“True. I don’t know, honestly. I do love Kashona, though; she’s an absolute sweetheart, really.”
“She is. I tell you what, though,” Barriss mused, “that girl is too perceptive for her own good.”
Ahsoka laughed. “I know. She clocked us immediately.”
“She asked me if we were married, Ahsoka. We may have to re-evaluate whether we’re being too obvious.”