Chapter Text
It is almost midnight, but I’m still in my day clothes and can’t bring myself to go to sleep.
And the reason is one small moment. One Katniss probably didn’t even notice. But it changed something for me.
Her helping me today in the training center. Giving me advice that probably made me look less like an easy target in front of the Careers. It wasn’t what I expected. Not what anyone would expect, considering the circumstances we’re in.
So I can’t stop thinking about one question, no matter how hard I try — why did she do that?
Returning to the Tribute Center, I realized I need to change what I plan to do.
The moment we were reaped together, I was shocked and heartbroken — yes. But I’m not naïve. I know that if we’re lucky, one of us will return to Twelve. And it won’t be me.
But there’s a high chance neither of us will.
The Careers aren’t just dangerous — they’re something else entirely. While we learned how to survive in Twelve, they learned how to kill. For years.
So my decision was simple — all I can promise is this: I will do nothing in the arena that could hurt her or put her in danger. And if I have a chance to help her, I will.
An inner promise. Too arrogant to say aloud, knowing full well that Katniss herself has far better survival chances than I do.
With each passing day, quietly keeping this promise becomes harder. What had been just a crush for years is starting to become something real. At least for me.
And today, she stepped forward to help me.
So now I have only one dignified option — I should step forward too and make the promise I’ve carried for a week. I just need the right moment. Nothing grand. Just clear.
The reason why it’s such an easy promise for me — that I won’t tell her. Not about the long-term crush. Or the way holding hands during the Tribute Parade affected me. Or every time our eyes met.
I shake my head.
What a moment and place to finally get closer to Katniss.
The decision leaves me restless. I wander silently along our floor in the Tribute Center, trying to slow my pace, calm my mind.
Sleep would be good right now — to clear my head before talking to Katniss tomorrow.
I step into the corridor and head toward the main hall. The light from the window turns everything dark blue. Only when I reach the entrance do I notice a silhouette on the long sofa.
It has to be Katniss.
My heart starts beating faster, and I stop before entering the hall.
Could this be the right moment?
It’s better than trying to find a chance at the training center or at the dining table, with Haymitch and Effie always nearby.
Okay. Keep it simple.
You can trust me. Whatever happens in the arena, I will never be a threat to you. I promise.
Just return the favor. Don’t explain why. Not why.
I exhale sharply and step forward.
I try not to read too much into what she did today, but I can’t help it. Some part of me wants to see hope in it.
Even knowing there probably isn’t any. Everyone in Twelve knows she has a “good friend.” Gale.
So asking her why she helped me today makes no sense.
My chest tightens.
Who am I kidding?
It makes too much sense.
Just one simple question. Confirm it was only kindness — then return to the promise.
I nod to myself and walk toward the sofa.
“Hey.”
Katniss turns to me. “Hi.”
She looks a little surprised, sitting on the sofa with her knees tucked beneath her.
I glance around the dark hall, making sure no one is there to overhear us.
“You helped me today at the training center. You shouldn’t have. Why did you?”
I hold her gaze, hoping she won’t look away.
“You were in trouble,” she answers plainly.
“That was sort of the point,” I reply quickly.
Please. Just say why.
“You helped me once,” Katniss says abruptly, turning away.
She remembers? How is that possible?
That moment I’ve returned to hundreds of times — the discomfort that never really faded. The way I tossed her that bread.
“You remember?” I hear myself ask.
She turns back to me. “Yeah.” A pause. “Now we’re even.”
The word hits me like a knife.
Even. Are we?
I don’t want to be.
“Even? So we’re like everyone else now?”
Damn it. Stop. That’s not why you’re here.
I open my mouth to apologize, but she speaks first.
“We need to be.”
But it’s not the words that hit me — it’s the look in her eyes.
Katniss suddenly seems sad. A sharp ache opens in my chest.
She doesn’t want that either?
Half angry at myself for starting this and half unable to stop, I move closer and sit beside her, elbows resting on my knees.
That’s it. I can’t not say it now.
Just one line — then the promise. Get it out before the arena.
My heart pounds hard. Everything feels too sharp. The silence around us only makes it worse.
“See, Katniss… you can’t be like everyone else to me.”
I glance at her, checking her reaction. Am I overstepping?
Her eyes widen slightly. But she doesn’t pull away. She holds my gaze, and I hear her exhale slowly.
No way. Does she care?
“You haven’t been for a long time,” I continue, unable to stop myself.
My heart feels like it might break out of my chest.
Katniss shifts slightly — but she doesn’t move away.
And suddenly everything hits me at once:
how beautiful she looks,
how close she is,
the silence around us.
One thought cuts through everything.
I want to kiss her. Now.
The feeling rises sharp and fast. My breathing stutters, and I press my lips together.
Control it.
But the pull is too strong. It feels like something I’ve imagined for years.
She’s here. And she’s looking at me in a way that makes me want to believe I’m not wrong.
My body leans toward her before I can stop it.
No. Stop. I might be wrong.
Am I?
My mind turns against me.
I move closer. Just an inch.
She doesn’t pull away.
Warmth spreads through my chest.
There’s no turning back now. She’s so close, her knees only inches from my hand.
Slowly, carefully, I lean toward her, giving her every chance to pull away.
Please don’t.
And she doesn’t.
The dizziness comes fast, almost unreal. I can’t quite believe it’s happening.
A few more inches, and I can already feel her breath against my skin.
I pause, looking at her.
Her eyes are still on me.
Will this change things?
Will it ruin it?
We’ve only just started something.
But then my gaze drops to her lips — slightly parted.
Heat rushes sharply through me.
That’s it.
I close the last distance and brush my lips against hers, barely touching.