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Cosima was head-deep into her locker when she heard that laugh. She gripped the metal door tightly, and slowly peeked around it. The owner of that husked and unrestrained laughter was punching a guy lightly on the shoulder while they both chatted animatedly. Cosima felt something flutter in her stomach at the sight.
Andrea Hackman was a year older than her. She had green eyes and a smile of perfect white teeth that could disarm anyone. Cosima bit her lip as she watched the two friends interact and talk excitedly, like they hadn’t seen each other in months. And as far as Cosima was aware, they hadn’t. Andrea had left school the year before just as it was beginning. There were theories and hypothesis on why the girl had vanished from the face of the earth; she was quite popular. None of the theories were right though, and Cosima knew because Andy had been her neighbour since she was six.
That didn’t mean they were best friends – Cosima could only wish – but their families were friendly and she had been devastated to know Andrea’s mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer last year. Cosima knew Andy had been staying home, taking care of her and keeping her company because her Dad worked all day. Fortunately, everything had worked out in the end, and she supposed, Andy had decided to come back to school.
Her thoughts were cut short when the girl in question turned squinted eyes at her, before they widened in recognition. Cosima hurried to look like she had just been organizing her locker and not eavesdropping the whole time. She heard Andy say goodbye to her friend and saw her approach out of the corner of her eye.
“Hey you,” Andy greeted friendly.
Cosima blinked up at her behind her glasses. She’d seen the girl a couple times in the neighbourhood during this last year, but always from afar, shoulders hunched and lips down-turned. The Andy in front of her looked much more alive. Even her hair looked lighter and brighter, she noticed, watching the locks of sandy-blonde hair that had fallen from her messy bun. Andy’s nose scrunched up, making Cosima notice the freckles that adorned her skin all over it and her cheeks. Those had always distracted her when she was at arms reach with the girl. Andy coughed, making Cosima snap out of her shock.
“Andy, hi.” She waved her hand awkwardly, cheeks blushing a light pink when she realized she had been staring. “It’s good to have you back.”
Andy shrugged, “it’s good to be back.”
Cosima nodded, not really knowing what to say. She could be the most talkative person ever – her Dad always said her brain was too fast for her mouth and words just tumbled out sometimes – but when it came to cute girls, Cosima became a mumbling mess.
“So,” Andy continued, “I’m in some of you your classes, apparently.”
That caught Cosima’s attention. “You are? How?”
Andy looked down, slightly uncomfortable, and she pulled at a loose thread on one of the holes on her jeans. “I have to repeat last year, obviously,” she said with a shrug and an eye-roll, brushing it off.
“Oh, right. Obvs.” Cosima mentally kicked herself; the last thing she wanted was to bring up last year.
“Yeah… so, I know you’re kinda like, a science genius and I was wondering if,” Andy scratched at the side of her neck in what looked like a nervous tick, and Cosima felt the same flutter as before inside her stomach, “you know, if you didn’t have anyone yet, if you’d be my lab partner in Chemistry?” Andy flashed her a charming smile at the end of the question, as if Cosima needed any more reasons to say yes.
“Of course,” Cosima replied a tad dreamily, goofy grin growing on her face without her consent.
“Cool,” Andy said in a relieved breath. “I’ll… see you later then, I guess.”
“Yeah.” Cosima couldn’t wipe the grin from her face. Andy walked past her, and Cosima faintly caught the smell of her perfume. “See you later, partner!” She called at Andy’s retreating back. The girl turned her head and chuckled, shaking her head.
As soon as the girl was out of sight, Cosima put her head inside of her locker, forehead resting on Biology book. “You did not just say that,” she whispered to herself, a little mortified.
It wasn’t until half-way into her next class that Cosima realized she didn’t have Chemistry today. Her shoulders dropped and she slipped down her chair, suddenly disinterested in anything the teacher had to say. It’s not like she couldn’t pass every single one of these classes with flying colors, barely paying attention to the lectures.
She let her mind day dream instead. In this particular fantasy, she got to impress Andy with her vast knowledge in Chemistry. She taught her how to use the microscope, leaning over her and getting assaulted by the smell of her perfume again. Cosima’s hand rested on top of hers, to guide it, and Andy turned to her, green eyes blazing. The girl told Cosima that she’d never met someone quite like her. She leaned in and-
“Miss Niehaus,” the teacher called a little louder than the other two times. Cosima snapped her attention back to him, blushing furiously to the tips of her ears. “Do you know the answer?”
“I’m sorry, could you… repeat the question?” She asked, pushing her glasses up nervously. The rest of the class snickered and the teacher sighed, but complied. After all, Cosima was his best student.
On her bike ride home, Cosima realized how dumb she was being, fantasizing about a girl who was probably straighter than a ruler. And even if she wasn’t, she was older, prettier, and more popular than her; she didn’t have a chance. Girls like Andy weren’t interested in science nerds that were younger and quite inexperienced. It wasn’t like Cosima was socially inept, or a bookworm. She had friends, she went to parties, she smoked the occasional joint; but she was just sixteen and she had never kissed a girl before.
Pedalling faster, Cosima took a turn, deciding to cross the park that was near her neighbourhood. She didn’t realize when she made the decision, but as she rode by the swings, she remembered that this was the park she used to play with Andy when they were kids. It looked exactly the same, and she could almost still hear Andy’s laughter as Cosima chased her, hands clasped over a bug she had just caught.
Cosima’s house was painted light green. Julian, her Dad, was as per usual taking care of his garden in the backyard. He greeted her with a wave of a hand all dirty with compost.
“Hi, sweetie,” he said, not looking up from a tiny sprout growing in a pot. Cosima leaned the bike against the wall and approached him curiously.
“Hey, Dad,” she replied, crouching beside him.
“Nice day at school?” The both of them stared at the sprout, instead of each other.
“Yeah, it was good.” She tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips. “What are we looking at?”
“Rosmarius Officinalis,” he recited in Latin.
Cosima scrunched her nose. “Rosemary?”
He glanced at her, blue eyes squinted, making the skin around them wrinkle, but still looking as young as ever. “Very good, my little genius.”
She chuckled and leaned her head on his shoulder, her hand reaching up to play with the couple dreads that fell from his medium length haircut. “Why are you growing Rosemary?”
“Oh, this has been used medicinally since ancient times!” He explained excited. Julian was, like everyone else in Cosima’s family, a naturalist, and he also enjoyed herbalism as a hobby. He had all kinds of plants and flowers and seeds and he made lots of natural teas and infusions. There were also a couple Cannabis plants growing in a small greenhouse on one corner of the backyard, but Cosima wasn’t allowed there. “When it’s grown, I’m gonna make oil out of it. You’ll see.”
“That’s cool, Dad.” She patted him on the back, before standing up and making her way into the house. “Hey, is Apollo around?”
“Uh, he was in his room last time I saw him,” Julian replied, scratching the side of his nose and leaving a brown trail of dirt. Cosima thought of telling him, but then imagined her Mom fretting over him being like a kid and cleaning it for him, and she decided to leave it to her.
Cosima went to her room to drop her stuff. She took her shoes off and laid on the soft, queen-size bed for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not her brother was a good choice to discuss her feelings with. Her eyes strayed all over her walls, from the laminated periodic table over her bed – it was a gift from Apollo for her fifteenth birthday and she honestly loved it – the science trophies on a small table in the corner, the couple of posters of musicians she enjoyed, her collection of butterflies on display on the wall, and finally her huge book collection, organized alphabetically on her shelves. The soft carpet under her socketed-feet and the pastel-orange walls helped her put her thoughts in order. This was her sanctuary.
She rose to her feet and dragged herself to Apollo’s room, knocking a couple times.
“Come in,” came her brother’s voice.
His room was much messier than hers, but it still had his personality written all over it. Apollo was five years older than Cosima. He was in college, but had decided to stay home, nice, comfortable and not too far from college, instead of paying for a small room in the dorms. He was majoring in Cinema and the amount of DVD cases, half-written scripts and posters of classics all around his personal space, could attest to that.
“Hey,” she greeted softly.
“How long would it take for someone locked in one of those refrigerated vaults to freeze to death?” Apollo asked, pen tapping thoughtfully on his chin where the light stubble was starting to grow. His blue eyes, so much like their Dad’s, snapped at her and Cosima looked at him with wide, scandalized eyes. He dropped the pen, waving it off. “Nevermind. What’s up, sis?”
“Uh,” Cosima mumbled, having forgot why she came in here. “I… right, yeah.” She took a seat on the bed. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Shoot,” he replied.
“Okay, but… you have to promise me you won’t say anything, you won’t laugh, and you won’t tease me about it,” she said sternly.
“Dude, give me something at least!” He moaned.
Cosima didn’t have to say anything, she just looked at him, deadpan clear in her expression.
“Fine, fine. I promise,” he conceded.
“So, there’s this… girl in school,” she started. Apollo took a breath, slipping down his chair a few inches and covering his mouth with his hand. “Apollo!” She scolded him.
“I didn’t say anything!” He said defensively. “I’m just excited you show interest in someone,” he mumbled under his breath.
“How do you know I’m interested?”
“Are you not?”
Cosima rolled her eyes.
“So, who’s she?” He asked. Cosima thought about it for a second before replying.
“You don’t know her.” Obviously he did, Andy lived just a few houses from them and Cosima was pretty sure Apollo used to have a crush on her when they were younger. “She’s… well, we know each other from the halls and stuff. But this year she’s in my class and she asked me to be her lab partner.”
“Ooh, popping the big question so soon,” Apollo joked. Cosima grabbed a tennis ball that was laying on the floor near her foot and threw it at him. He caught it with a laugh. “I assume you said yes.”
“Well… yeah,” she admitted. “The thing is, she’s like, really cool. And,” Cosima pushed her glasses up, then shrugged like there wasn’t another way to put it, “well, very pretty.”
“So?” Apollo asked.
“So,” she replied. “So… it’s stupid to think that I have any chance with her. Right?”
“Dude, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say and you’re like, genius smart.” Cosima just blinked confused at him. He sighed like it was the simplest thing ever. “Listen, I know what girls like,” he took a mili-second to smirk cockily, “they like cute, and they like smart, and they like funny, and you’re all those things.”
Cosima smiled softly at that, still not fully believing it. “I don’t even know if she likes girls,” she added.
“Dude, just- ask her out. If she says no, then you’ll know it’s because she’s straight and not because you’re not cool or pretty enough.”
Cosima squirmed nervously, starting to plan how she’d ask Andy out. “Where would I even take her? I don’t even have a car. And that’s if she said yes, of course.”
“I don’t know, Cos. Just one of those geeky places you like or whatever.”
Cosima rolled her eyes at him. “It’s amazing how you can go from incredibly supportive brother to jerk in less than a second.”
“It’s a gift,” he explained solemnly. “Now get out of here, I’ve got a man in a fridge whose future is still uncertain.”
“You’re so weird,” she said as she stood to leave the room.
“That’s rich, coming from the Weirdo Queen,” he teased back, which Cosima replied with a “har-har”. “Ask her out!” He called as she was leaving.
She shut the door without answering.
Cosima couldn’t keep still as she waited for the rest of the class to arrive. Her foot bounced on the bar under her stool and her fingers tapped incessantly on the lab table. The teacher had started writing the assignment on the blackboard when the bell rang and the last students hurried in.
Andy bounced in, long, sandy hair flying behind her. She spotted Cosima immediately and with a bright smile, slipped on the stool beside her.
“Hey,” she whispered.
“Hi,” Cosima replied, a little breathless of the wind whirl that was this girl. She noticed her hair was wet and frowned confused. Andy noticed.
“I went to the beach before class,” she explained almost apologetically. “It’s a habit I got while I was taking care of-“ her lips clamped and Cosima smiled in understanding. “Anyways, I almost didn’t make it. I couldn’t even dry my hair.”
“You smell like sea-water,” she blurted out, not really thinking it through. She looked down, mentally berating herself for letting her brain work her mouth with no filter.
“I- Do I?” Andy asked, bringing a lock of hair to her nose.
“Yeah, but, it’s nice. I mean, you usually smell good, but this is also nice.” Cosima turned towards the front of the class, fighting back a blush. Inside her head she was screaming ‘What the hell is wrong with you?! I can’t believe you just told her she smells nice! She’s gonna think you’re a creep!’ But on the outside she tried to stay calm and stand by what she said.
Andy stared at the side of her face, pleasantly surprised, flattered and with something akin to wonder. “Thanks,” she finally said. Cosima glanced at her and smiled tightly in response.
The teacher explained what their assignment was about: they had to look at different samples of water, with different amount of impurities and then determine how the substances in the water affected its pH, conductivity and hardness. Cosima went to work immediately, drawing a table of data in her notebook. Next to her, Andy looked at the assignment in the blackboard like it wasn’t written in English.
Out of the corner of her eye, Cosima saw her twist in her stool to face her. “You’re gonna have to give me instructions, because I have no idea what to do,” she said conspirationally.
Cosima smiled, a little more confident now that she had the upper hand. “Okay,” she wrote a few words in a piece of paper and ripped it off her notebook. “Go to the closet and bring these things.”
Andy took the paper and read over the objects listed. “Yes, ma’am,” she replied cheekily before leaving.
Under Cosima’s guidance, the pair finished the assignment before anyone else and the teacher took it to grade it, but told them they had to stay until the end of the class. They talked about their classes and Cosima learned Andy was only taking this class because she needed the credit, even though she was, in her own words, ‘useless at anything scienc-y’.
Cosima assured her science was really easy to understand if you looked at it from a logical standpoint and that she was sure Andy had it in her. Andy laughed, thanking her for the vote of confidence but assured her that she could never see this stuff as clear as Cosima saw it, and that was okay, there could only be so many geniuses in the world.
The whole time, Andy looked at her right in the eyes, so much that Cosima had to take her glasses off to clean them, feeling a little nervous. She couldn’t tell if that flattering, friendly tone she was using was flirting or just Andy being nice to her. It was driving her crazy.
Five minutes before the class was over, Cosima realized she needed to make her move now, unless she wanted to wait another two days of not knowing. She bit her lip and watched Andy gather up her stuff, thinking of how to approach the question. Then it hit her. She couldn’t believe she’d take her brother’s advice but-
“Andy?” She asked as the bell rang and the girl stood to leave.
Andy spun around on her heels, a little earnest in Cosima’s opinion. “Yeah?”
“I was thinking that, maybe, if you'd let me,” Cosima said, waving her hands around, “I could prove to you that science is actually really easy.”
Andy dropped her bag back on the table, eyes squinting curiously. “What do you suggest?”
“Uhm, well, this- this Saturday, we could- I mean, sometimes, when I’m bored-“ Cosima pushed up her glasses and made a face, “this is going to sound kind of lame, but, sometimes when I’m bored I go to the Science Museum.”
Andy’s lips pulled up in a slow smile. “That’s kind of adorkable.”
Cosima looked away embarrassed. “Yeah… well, I was thinking of going this weekend and thought, maybe you’d like to come?” She asked and held her breath. Andy opened her mouth to answer, but Cosima beat her. “I know it sounds lame, you don’t have to say yes.”
“Actually,” the blonde chirped, leaning down on the table with her elbows, “I’d love to come.” Cosima swallowed hard at her choice of wording.
“My- my mom would take us. I don’t have a car, yet,” she added as an after-thought.
“Cool, I haven’t seen Sophia in a while,” Andy agreed good-naturedly. “At what time do you want me at your house?”
“Eleven?”
Andy leaned back up nodding. She drummed her fingers on the table, pursing her lips into a crooked smile. “It’s a date.”
Cosima watched her throw her bag over her shoulder, and leave the room with a final wave of her hand. Only then she let out the breath she had been holding.
“It’s a date.”
The ride back home was the fastest one she’d ever done to date, and she practically jumped off of her bike once she reached her house.
She breezed past her Dad in the garden who was back admiring his Rosemary, and entered the kitchen, where her Mom was looking at something on her laptop and her brother was making a sandwich.
Cosima threw herself into his brother’s arms, squeezing the life out of him and muttering “thank you, thank you, thank you.” Apollo looked over her head at their Mom, who was just as dumbfounded as him.
“Oh-kay… you’re welcome?” He replied, patting her on the head.
Cosima leaned back and looked up at him, tongue trapped between her teeth and an excited glint in her eye. “She said yes,” she explained.
Apollo’ eyes widened in understanding. “No way! Dude, I knew it! What did I tell you?” He high-fived her, sharing her excitement now. Sophia took off her reading glasses and regarded her kids with shocked amusement. “Did you charm her with your dorkness? I bet you did.”
“Shut up,” she laughed. “I invited her to the Museum on Saturday.”
“Wow,” Apollo mumbled actually impressed. “You, little sis, are my hero,” he said as he made his way out of the kitchen, poiting back at her with his sandwich.
Cosima rolled her eyes. “By the way, Mom,” she said turning to the still confused woman, “that reminds me: can you take me and a friend to the Museum on Saturday?”
Sophia raised her eyebrows. “A friend?” She asked in that tone only mothers can.
“Yeah, it’s- it’s just Andy,” she explained a little shyly.
“Andrea? The daughter of Mrs. Hackman?” She asked remembering the blonde girl that lived a few houses down the road, and the horrible year that family had had. Cosima nodded. “Of course, honey.”
“Cool, thanks Mom.” She could barely contain her excitement and she still had to wait the rest of the week for Saturday. She needed to do something to pass the time. “I’m gonna go do my homework.” Before her Mom could ask anything else, she disappeared up the stairs, already thinking about the date she had on Saturday.
If she wasn’t sure that it was scientifically impossible, she would’ve sworn time passed slower and slower as Saturday approached. Seeing Andy at school, quickly walking past with her friends, or noticing the back of her head through the crowd just wasn’t enough; even if Andy went out of her way every time to wave and smile at her.
The next Chemistry class helped Cosima quell her anxiousness a little. The teacher gave them their grade – A+, that earned Cosima an excited hand-squeeze and a “my Mom is not going to believe it” which made her deliriously happy – and they spend the rest of the class working on the results of the experiment and talking about music and movies and everything under the sun. But by the time Saturday arrived, Cosima was an anxious mess again, so she woke up an hour before it was necessary, and proceeded to shower, brush her hair just so and choose an appropriate attire for the day.
Her Mom was enjoying her coffee and reading the newspaper when she entered the kitchen.
“Morning, Mom,” she greeted happily.
“Morning, sweetie.” Sophia glanced at her over the newspaper and cocked an eyebrow. “You look nice,” she said with that tone. The tone that said: I know there’s something here you’re not telling me but I’ll wait for you to tell me at your own time. Meanwhile I’ll keep making innocuous, teasing remarks.
“Thanks,” Cosima replied. She grabbed a glass and poured herself some apple juice.
“When are we picking Andrea up?” Sophia asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Uh, she’s supposed to be here at eleven.” Cosima glanced at the clock for the nth time that morning. It was a quarter to eleven.
“Mhm, I better grab my keys then. Do you have everything?”
Cosima nodded, sipping down her juice even if she wasn’t thirsty. She was so nervous she wasn’t able to eat anything, but she knew she needed to have some kind of breakfast.
Her Mom left and reappeared again, throwing her keys in her purse. “At what time do you want me to pick you up?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Around four?”
Sophia nodded. “Do you have money for lunch?”
“Yeah.” Cosima finished her juice and stood to clean the glass when the doorbell rang. She almost dropped it, but managed to hold onto it at the last second.
“That must be Andrea. Do you want me to-“ Sophia gestured towards the door.
“No! No, I mean. I’ll do it.”
Cosima squared her shoulders, pushed up her glasses by the frame and made a beeline towards the door. She stopped briefly by the mirror on the hall to straighten her shirt and fix her hair and with a final deep breath, she opened the door.
“Hey, good morning,” Andy greeted brightly. “Sorry I’m a little late. I kinda didn’t know what to wear… like, what’s the museum etiquette?”
Cosima looked down at her worn out converse and her skinny jeans and shirt. “You’re fine,” she said with a chuckle. Cosima herself was wearing a stripped skirt that she had bought at one of the stores near the beach, and a dark tank top.
“Thanks. You’re pretty fine yourself.” Andy grinned, showing off her perfect white teeth and Cosima swooned a little. She was 90% sure that was flirting. Her Mom chose that moment to come into the hall, purse hanging from one elbow as she pulled her mane of brunette curls on a messy bun. She liked it that way to drive, otherwise it got in the way.
“Hi Andrea, long time no see,” Sophia greeted friendly.
“Hey Mrs. N. I know, I was just telling Cos the other day that it had been a while since I stopped by.”
Sophia pushed Cosima gently out the door and they made their way to the car. “How’s your Mom, sweetie?”
“She’s great,” Andy answered honestly. “She says she can’t wait for Mr. N’s next barbecue. She won’t miss it for the world.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful! I’ll let Julian know, he’ll be ecstatic. He’s always looking for new reasons to celebrate.”
They got in the car, with only a mild awkward situation in which Cosima reached for the front door and her Mom gave her that look, and she realized leaving Andy to seat alone behind was kind of lame, so she climbed into the backseat with her.
The conversation on the ride to the museum was monopolized by Andy and Sophia, who wanted to catch up with the girl that had seemed so sad and lost the past year. It was nice to see her Mom’s health had given her her light back.
Cosima was glad to just sit and listen, having a reason to stare at Andy’s profile the whole ride.
The museum had different sections and Cosima knew them all by memory. She took out a paper she had written a few days ago when she was planning the visit and gave it a quick once over. Andy caught it instantly.
“What’s that?” She asked curiously.
“It’s just… a list of the things I want to show you.”
“You made an itinerary?” Andy grinned.
“What?” Cosima asked a tad defensive.
“Nothing.” The blonde nudged her shoulder with Cosima’s as they walked in. “I think it’s kinda cute,” she told her confidently.
Cosima glanced at her out of the corner of her eye and held back a smile.
The itinerary contained things from every section. They made their way through the Human Body, The Universe, Living Systems and Cosima’s favourite part, Evolution. She stopped at every thing that called her or Andy’s attention and excitedly explained it, words flying out a mile per minute and gesturing wildly to get her message across. Andy listened openly, eyes wide and taking everything in.
“You know, it’s not like I’m as much into science as you are – although I don’t think anyone is – but watching you talk about it… I don’t know, you’re just really passionate about it. It’s contagious,” Andy had told her when they stopped for lunch.
Cosima had left one of the rooms in The Universe section for last. It was a slightly darkened, circular room with a circle of cushioned benches facing the walls. On them were being projected images of the Earth, from Pangea to nowadays, the Solar System with all the planet’s orbits, the Milky Way, and other galaxies and constellations. It was a nice room to sit and think about life; Cosima had done so a few times before.
Andy followed her into the room, breathing out a soft “wow.”
“I thought you might like this one,” Cosima mentioned, mentally patting herself on the back.
The blonde approached the image of the Milky Way and appraised it silently. “It’s quite insane,” she mumbled. The projection showed the scale of the earth compared to the sun, and other stars in the galaxy.
“What is?” Cosima asked.
“We’re… so small. Insignificant, really.”
“Well, yeah,” Cosima agreed partly. “But we’re aware.”
Andy tilted her head at her, not really following.
“I mean, you, just now,” Cosima gestured at her, “realizing how small you are compared to the rest of the universe. Knowing that your knowledge of the universe is just bits and pieces.” Changing her weight from one foot to the other and pushing her glasses up, Cosima gathered her thoughts. “Aware. Of science, of physics, of evolution. Just aware that we don’t know everything and there’s all that much to learn. Small? Yeah, obvs. Insignificant? I don’t think so.”
When Cosima finished her little rant, Andy was looking at her intently, lip trapped between her teeth.
“What?” Cosima asked unsurely. Andy shook her head, spinning on her heels and making her way to one of the benches. Cosima followed closely. “What?” She insisted.
“Nothing.” She paused as Cosima took a seat next to her. The brunette kept her inquisitive stare. “Nothing, really. You’re just very…” Andy looked up at Cosima’s eyes, scanning every curve and line on her face. “Smart.”
Cosima remembered what her brother told her about girls: ‘they like cute, and they like smart, and they like funny, and you’re all those things.’
Her stomach erupted in butterflies at the way Andy was looking at her. Something in Cosima’s gut was telling her to just go for it, to lean over and kiss her. All the signs pointed that Andy liked her too, but what if she was wrong? She let out a slow breath that made her lower lip tremble and finally threw caution to the wind.
The cushion under her squeaked as she leaned over, closing the distance between them. Her eyes squeezed shut as she pressed her lips to Andy’s, and she felt the other girl pressing hers back. It was her first kiss with a girl, and the first that made her feel something – she had had a boyfriend and kissed boys before, but nothing really compared to this. She pulled back seconds after, eyes blinking rapidly behind her glasses, and stared at Andy, waiting for a reaction.
“Well,” Andy said, licking her lips slowly. “Finally. I was thinking I’d have to do that myself,” she finished with a smirk.
Cosima kicked the side of her foot gently. “Shut up. It’s… you know, the first time I…” she gestured vaguely with her hand.
“Ever?”
Cosima shook her head. “With another girl.”
“And… what’s the veredict?” Andy asked, leaning on her hand to get closer to Cosima.
Cosima smiled goofily. “Good, great. Amazing.”
Andy tilted her head and pursed her lips as she pondered something. She offered Cosima her hand and said: “It could be better.”
Cosima didn’t know where Andy planned to take her or what they’d be doing once they got there – although she had some ideas – but she took her hand without question.
When Sophia picked them up, they both were trying to hide identical grins. The ride back was silent apart from a few words. Sophia noted that the girls sat much closer together, but she didn’t mention anything.
They started dating a week after that, when Andy officially asked her out. Cosima told her family some time after, making her regret it the day of her Dad’s famous barbeque, when her Mom wouldn’t stop looking at them with that look and Apollo obnoxiously acted like he had been the Cupid who brought them together.
They dated for a year, until Andrea’s Dad was offered a new job in another state, that would let him spend much more time at home, and they had to move away. At first it was extremely hard to Cosima; the girl who had been her first kiss, her first girlfriend, and her first time, moving away to live hundreds of miles away from her. They had promised to write, call and visit whenever, but they knew a relationship was impossible. Long distance never worked.
Still Cosima took everything good she had won from that relationship and kept it close to her heart. She had lost a girlfriend, but won a best friend.
After Delphine left with that hurried “I have to go,” Cosima pulled out her pot and rolled a joint. She reclined on her desk chair and blew out circles with smoke for a few minutes before she reached for her phone.
It rang a couple times before there was an answer.
“Oh my God, if it isn’t the next Nobel Price calling my phone.” Andy said as a greeting. Despite everything that had happened, Cosima chuckled. “It’s been a while, babe. What’s up?”
“Nothing, I just… needed to talk to someone familiar.” Even through the line, Cosima could almost hear Andrea’s brow furrowing in worry.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah…” She started, but then realized she didn’t call her only to lie. “No, not really.”
“What’s wrong?”
Cosima struggled to explain the situation to her friend without saying too much. She’d kept the whole clone thing from her friends and family; the less they knew, the safer they were.
“Do you remember that time at the museum?”
“Uh, yeah…?”
“I had no idea how you’d react before I kissed you. I didn’t know if you were interested or if you’d only accepted to come because you were nice. There was no way I could be sure.” Cosima made a fist and put it against her stomach. “But something in my gut told me to do it. I could’ve been just jumping to conclusions but it turned out I was right. I trusted my gut, and I was right.”
“Honey, you’ve totally lost me,” Andy admited.
“There’s- there’s someone, okay? Someone I’ve been having feelings for these past weeks, but I’ve realized tonight how foolish of me it was. I thought she liked me, you know? I thought I could tell, like I could with you. I felt it in my gut.”
“You kissed her?”
“I kissed her.”
“And she freaked out on you?”
“Completely; Roadrunner impression and all.”
“Well, shit.”
“The worst part is that I knew... I had all these signs pointing at the obvious. She wants something from me, there’s an ulterior motive for her interest. I knew and I still thought…”
“Look Cos, I obviously don’t know crap about this girl, but I know you and I know you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. If I were you, I’d trust your gut too. Did she reject you? Or outright say she didn’t have feelings for you?”
“…No.”
“Shit, Cos, gay-panic, don’t you know what that is?”
“I really don’t, I’m from San Fran, you know?”
They both laughed. “Give her time. I know you’re a pretty good judge of character and if you’ve given this girl the benefit of the doubt, it’s because she deserves it.”
“Yeah…” Cosima bit her lip, thinking back to the very brief kiss and everything that it had made her feel. “She’s just so… enticing. Her accent, her mannerisms, her hair, her smile, her brain! Everything about her is attractive.”
“Damn, you smitten kitten.”
“I’d really hate if our friendship ended because of this.”
“Okay, so, next time you see her, just tell what you told me, that you jumped to conclusions and fucked up, and try to build back the trust from there. If she rejects you then, to hell with her, honestly."
Cosima smiled softly, wishing more than ever her best friend was here with her. “Thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’d still be dating guys and having crappy sex, probably.”
Cosima barked a laugh, throwing her head back and resting the palm of her hand on her forehead. “You give yourself too much credit.”
“Yeah, yeah…” There was a noise on the other side of the line and Cosima heard Andy talk with someone else. “Babe, I gotta go, the wife is calling.”
“Yeah, sorry I called you so late, and tell her I said hi. I hope I can visit you guys soon.”
“We’d love that.” Cosima made a mental note to visit her friend when all this mess ended. “And let me know how it goes with Princess Charming.”
“I will,” Cosima smiled.
“Okay, night, Cos. Love you.”
“You too. Bye.”
The next day Cosima texted Andy on the way to the grocery store.
‘So, as it turns out, I wasn’t wrong. I’m on my way to buy post-orgasm Eskimo Pies while Princess Charming enjoys her afterglow in my bed.”
The answer came almost immediately.
‘My little grasshopper, you learn so fast. JK I’m ecstatic for you bb, you deserve it. Call me soon. xx”