Archive of Our Own

Clark Kent, a reporter at the world renowned daily planet had started streaming on twitch for fun, he never expected to form a friend group or join some kind of crazy streaming roleplay community where the friend group is all ‘superheros’ but that’s what happens online. Tonight was a chill stream, the kind of one where Clark could drink a can of coke, chat with one of the friends he’s made over the many nights of doing this and chat with the people who watch him which are currently at… 8.9k tonight.

“So, B,” B is short for Batman, which is the online persona of the Vtuber who was one of Clark's first online friends, his real name had been leaked ages ago as Bruce Wayne but no one really minded; he was the prince of Gotham and acted like it online as well as in person so it was easy to guess. “What do you wanna do tonight?”

“Finish the game we started earlier.” The man grunted, the mouth of the animated man dressed like a comic book bat’s mouth moved with him, eyes narrowed. “Like you said we would.”

“Yes, but I had such a rough day at work today!”

“Clark, you always ‘have a rough day’.”

Bruce wasn’t wrong there, that was true but Clark was running around a city, sitting through interviews and then using his brain cell to try and figure out how to write what information he got down as something people would enjoy reading. “It was a rough day! I had to do an interview with this guy who kept complimenting my curls instead of answering my questions!”

Bruce Wayne grunted; he had been that guy. “Maybe if you hadn’t asked ‘are you into men?’ you would have gotten some answers, Kal.”

“It was a valid question– look! Even chat agrees!”

The chat was blowing up with ‘yes’s and ‘valid’s like Clark Kent asking his online buddy if he was into men during an official, on the record interview inside his office at W.E was the most reasonable thing to do.

“I see where your chat gets it from.” Bruce grunted and clicked to open his own chat. “‘Kal, you’re chat is high.’” The batman read from a passing comment in his chat. “Frankly, I agree with supermanenjoyer69.”

“That's their username!?” Clark's face went bright red; while he had known people were making fanfiction and art of him, he had forgotten about the usernames.

Bruce’s animated avatar which was following his every move shrugged. “No, their name was ‘Baneofyourexistance_1’.”

“Bane is in the chat?”

“Of course he is, so is Harley and Ivy.” Bruce responded like the villains in his character's backstory and city didn’t just appear in chat. “They’re my chat moderators.” The way the billionaire said it so calmly, so dully was confusing and astonishing to the farm boy.

“Brucie, babe,” Clark's voice shifted slightly, he could hear the way the other voice hitched just slightly, the subtle creaking of him leaning back in some kind of expensive leather chair. They weren’t dating, that wasn’t something Clark had even thought about between him and Bruce but the other male always reacted this way when he shifted his voice lower, slightly rougher. “Why are your villains your chat mods?”

Bruce let out a slight, almost inaudible whimper; no one would have been able to hear it over stream, however over a discord call turned up to make Clark Kent heard it loud and clear. “Don’t make sweet noises at me, Brucie.”

“I-I’m not making any noises.” The bat defended, making his own voice gruffer, more tough to hide the shaking in it. “And just because they play the villains while we’re streaming doesn't mean they aren’t reliable.”

Clark chuckled under his breath. “I know, I know, I was just teasing.” The man glanced at his screen as a loud cheer echoed in his ears. “Thank you ‘Mionyxtomioka’ for the superchat! ‘You should make Batsy put on a heart rate monitor and read this fanfiction to him!’” The superchat ended with a fanfiction link that ended in 199404916 Clark, of course, knows it's an ao3 fic, he has read them on stream in the past so he clicked the link.

“B, put the heart rate monitor on.” Clark had defaulted to the voice that had made the other man whimper not even a minute earlier and of course, Bruce did as he was told and put it on, the monitor appearing on both streams. “Good boy, Brucie.”

Clark had to hold back a chuckle as the number shot up from 80 to 120 in a matter of seconds. “So, we’ve been given a four chapter fanfiction by Aurora2Sunset on ao3 called Hiding From The Light.” He explained, scrolling though the tags without reading them aside from the m/m tag. 

“Lex Luthor sees something that he shouldn't have, Superman on the balcony at an award's show, kissing playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, but the sight gives Luthor a new plan on how to bring down his rival.” Clark read out, watching out of the corner of his eye that just as the bat’s heart went back to normal it spiked again when he mentioned them kissing, chat was cheering and going on about Bruce's crush. “A plan involving Kryptonite and Bruce Wayne as bait. Absolutely nothing could go wrong.”

Bruce cleared his throat. “And I’m guessing several things go wrong?”

“Well it is 20.5k words.” Clark hummed, scrolling down the first chapter. “We could read one chapter today and the others on another day.”

Bruce sighed; already knowing this was going to be a four day long event. “Let’s get this over with.”

Clark Kent cleared his throat and started to read; 

If Lex Luthor could count on one thing in this world, he could count on money.

Or so he thought he could when he sat down at this year’s Humanitarian Award Acceptance dinner. Luthor had paid off a considerable amount of people and blackmailed even more to secure the trophy in his hands, not that he actually cared all that much about what the award even was about, he just needed to win the public’s favor in whatever way he could. No one would even be the wiser that he hadn’t given a single dollar to charity. It was the perfect plan.

“He sounds more stuck up than Lex in your character's backstory, Clark.” Bruce grunted, cutting through Clark's fantastic reading.

“Well, we’ve just been introduced to him, Bruce, give it a second–”

“No, I don't like him.”

Clark rolled his eyes again, glancing at the heart rate monitor on the screen; Bruce’s heart was normal, then he continued.

He was all smiles when talking to the other parties there, voice dripping with false humility and rehearsed lies. He was good at that, good at convincing people that he was worth listening to. He wasn’t just brilliant, he was charismatic as well, and he prided himself on that.

He was by himself today, no new lady by his arm, so it gave him the freedom to flirt despite the fact that many of the women here had smiles that were far too pinched and skin pulled back from excessive body modifications, sporting perfume that made his head throb from one whiff and jewelry that was far too trashy for such an event. Even so, he complimented each one that he went up to with unbridled smoothness.

The girl he was currently talking to, a brunette in a black dress sitting next to him that he couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of, was laughing at something he said, her voice sounding like a screeching hyena.

“You’re awfully funny, Mr Luthor.” she replied, delicately wiping at her eye. “I’m surprised that you were even invited to this event in the first place.”

“So am I.” Bruce muttered but let Clark continue to read; he had opened a game on his own screen and was playing it with his kids while absently listening to Clark read this fanfiction about Lex Luthor being a bitch.

“What’s so surprising about it?” Luthor asked her, taking a sip from his cup elegantly.

“Well, this award is for humanitarian efforts after all, and considering your long-standing rivalry with the world’s greatest humanitarian-”

“He’s not the world’s greatest anything.” Luthor interrupted her, mouth twitching.

“Oh please.” she laughed. “The only reason Superman isn’t up for the award is because he doesn’t have a home address to send the invitation to. Although I doubt that he would ever accept something so glamorous as this.”

She sighed dreamily. “He’s so humble and noble. He doesn’t do good deeds for awards or fame, he does it simply because it’s the right thing to do.”

Bruce snickered, making Clark roll his eyes. “Whats so funny, Mr Wayne?”

“You, doing things for people without expecting things in return.”

“I do that all the time!”

“I asked you for help with lifting my car last week so my son could get the stray cat out from under it and you used that to force me into an interview!”

“I did not!” Superman pouted, though the cheeky glint in his eyes told another story. “But like, your ass when you crawled under the car to get that cat was…” Clark purred at the image in his head, Bruce made a disgusted sound.

“Stop that right now, go back to reading Lex Luthor being degraded.”

“Yes, daddy.” Clark purred.

Bruce made a disgusted grunt, ready to just leave the desk and go get something to eat instead of dealing with his friend. 

Luthor clutched his glass tight enough that it almost cracked in his hand.

If there was one thing in this world that he hated most of all, it was that idiot metahuman who crumpled his reputation in the first place.

Superman had absolutely nothing on him. Soon enough Luthor would be able to find something else to take that spandex-wearing fool down another peg and place himself right where he belonged, at the top. No one would even remember the name Superman by the time he was done. Or if they did the memories would be anything but warm and fuzzy. Winning this award was just one step in the process. He fully intended to ruin Superman’s name or so help him god.

“He’s not even human, so what right does Superman have to a Humanitarian Efforts Award?” Luthor scoffed.

“Ouch, that hurts.” Clark sighed and glanced at chat which were now calling Lex a mix of hurtful names. “Brucie, he's saying I’m not human.”

“He's right.” Bruce deadpanned. “Your lore is that you’re an alien, Kal, that isn’t human at all.”

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt!”

“If you fly over to Gotham I’ll kiss it better.”

Chat was going crazy, the random switching in and out of character were messing with their heads while also making complete sense at the same time.

Clark’s face was bright pink now, he looked away, shy, unsure, then he cleared his throat. “Maybe after this stream.” He was totally driving to Gotham tonight; however the man started to read again.

The woman’s smile fell a bit, closing her mouth and humming.

“He’s more human than most of us.”

The lights dimmed before Luthor could respond and the chatter around them died, the spotlights shining on the stage as the host stepped onto stage. Applause echoed through the room as the director of the Human Welfare Campaign walked up to the mic.

A few words were said first about the campaign itself, about the accomplishments from this year and about their current projects and goals for the future. All stuff that didn’t fucking matter could you just get on with the goddamn award already?

“Now, let’s get to what many of you have all been waiting for.” the director grinned. “Announcing the winner of this year’s award for doing the most good throughout the country.”

There was an eruption of applause and Luthor smirked, knowing he had this in the metaphorical bag.

“Although if I could, this award would go to our one and only Superman every year.”

Luthor’s smile dropped.

“He inspires everyone around him to do better, which is one of the many reasons why this was such a close race this year. Many of you have done incredible work and a lot of good deeds, and I want to continue to encourage that even if you don’t walk home with the trophy. Because you shouldn’t be doing good things just because they will win you awards.” her eyes seemed to lock onto Luthor’s. “But because it is the right thing to do.”

Bruce didn't say anything but he grunted in agreement with the fictional director of the fictional awards ceremony, his eyes locked on his screen as he focused on protecting his children from zombies and skeletons in this game they were playing– after all the youngest just wanted to build them all a home. 

Clark knew what Bruce was doing, he could see the ‘playing minecraft’ on his profile but he also knew the man would be paying attention even if it was just in the background.

A shiver went down Luthor’s spine and he had to readjust himself. A moment of doubt caused a second of panic, and he flicked his eyes over to everyone around him to see if they had noticed. Luckily nobody had, but Luthor couldn’t shake the feeling.

“And so, I am happy to announce the winner of this year’s humanitarian effort’s award…” she opened the envelope, eyes lighting up when she saw the name. Luthor leaned forward, ready to stand up when his name was called and graciously accept his award-

“Bruce Wayne!”

At that time, Bruce had also just killed off a hoard of baby zombies so, of course he was speaking to his children who were clapping in his other ear since he had two sets of ear phones in. “Thank you, thank you, I do my best.”

Clark raised a brow. “Saving robin again?”

“Saved Red Hood from baby zombies.” The bat corrected; no one had tried to find out or out the batmans kids– who are also Vtubers and the main people he streams with aside from the streams with the justice league and Superman. “He was surrounded.”

“By how many?”

“Twenty.”

“Your poor boy…” Clark shook his head, knowing the horrors of the baby zombie all too well; he had died repeatedly to them and they are the reason he only plays exclusively in creative mode.

WHAT?!

A boom of confetti exploded on the stage. The sound of loud clapping and cheers and whistles were muffled in Luthor’s ears as he slowly turned, seeing a man in a black suit quickly down his flute of champagne before standing up and giving the crowd a winning smile and a wave, shaking the hand of the person next to him before all but strutting up to the stage as the director handed him the trophy.

“Congratulations, Mr Wayne. And thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule in order to come here.” The director said before handing him the mic.

“Thank you, Director Gilbert. It’s truly such an honor to simply be here, and I’m beyond touched that I’m the one receiving the award tonight.” Bruce Wayne spoke, voice smooth and rich and dripping with confidence.

How did this happen?! Luthor had spent half a million dollars bribing people to get this goddamn award, and it landed in the hands of Bruce mother fucking Wayne?!

“Although you’re right about one thing, I didn’t do all of that charity work for the award. My city’s own hero, Batman, is my biggest inspiration to help out the people in my city and my country. I want to continue to use my wealth to aid the people of Gotham and of the United States wherever it is needed.”

“Awww, Brucie, you’re inspiring yourself again.” Clark cooed, teasing, of course.

Batman just sighed. “How much longer do we have to go on this chapter?”

“Uh, about three quarters.”

“Can we stop–”

“Why?”

“I need to use the bathroom, Robin needs to be put to bed.” Bruce explained as he removed one ear phone and pushed away from his desk, standing up and getting ready to go. 

“Okay, how about while you put Robin to bed, you mute and I keep reading,” Clark smiled at the camera atop his computer screen. “Doesn’t that sound nice, baby boy?” Of course that voice came back and Bruce’s knees went weak.

“Fine.” Bruce muted himself before, likely yelling some kind of insults at Clark. 

Oh what a load of absolute bullshit. How much money did this whore monger have to shell out in order to end up being the one on that stage?!

“20 years ago, my father also won this award for his philanthropy, and I intend to keep his memory and his ideals alive through my net worth. I can only hope I am making him and my mom proud.”

The director nodded, taking the microphone back when offered it by Bruce Wayne. “I’m certain that you are, Mr Wayne. Are there any humanitarian projects that you are currently working on that you would like to advertise?”

“I’m currently working on a charity in order to provide medical debt relief to the citizens of Gotham and in the surrounding areas, this includes things like mental health support and…”

The ringing in Luthor’s ears was getting far too loud by this point, vision blurry with rage as he glared at Bruce Wayne’s smug face which continued to talk about all of his charity efforts and what not. That should be him giving that speech and making fake promises about how he was going to make the world a better place. What the hell does this piece of shit Bruce Wayne have that Luthor doesn’t? Other than stunning dark hair but that didn’t count!

Clark laughed softly, looking at his chat which was full of people calling Lex a loser, a jealous bitch and a range of other things while others were laughing about Bruce Wayne pulling out the dead parents card. Honestly? Clark found it cute, Bruce –even a fictional Bruce– trying to honour his parents though things like this, which just makes the man more fuckable.

Even as Wayne stepped down from the stage to receive many congratulations Luthor still felt like he was going to break something. Or puke.

He swallowed hard and tried to collect himself, doing some simple breathing exercises before he stood up, adjusting his sleeves and walking through the small crowd that had accumulated. They were now excused to enjoy the rest of the party as they pleased, left to mingle. Of course everyone wanted a piece of the man of the hour, and Luthor could hear all of the gushing words flowing out of people’s mouths.

Disgusting suck ups.

Eventually, however, Luthor managed to make it to the front of the crowd, smirking as some of the people even parted the way for him, until he was finally approaching the Prince of Gotham himself.

“Mr Wayne.” Luthor called to get his attention, holding out his hand for Wayne to shake it.

Stormy eyes glanced over at him and Luthor noted how Wayne’s pupils shrunk but he still maintained his smile, grabbing his hand and shaking it once firmly, the grip almost too tight.

“Mr Luthor.” Wayne gave a subtle nod. “To what do I owe the pleasure.”

Clark sighed, dreamily, “he can grab me with that hand anyday.” The comment set off the chat again; Bruce’s heart rate monitor went from a calm 80 to a chaotic 120–130 in seconds. Clark laughed. “Right, forgot you could hear me, sorry baby.” The pet names just felt so natural sliding out of his mouth with Bruce, it was like he was talking to his other half.

There was just a bit of strain on the word but Luthor ignored it. “I wanted to give my congratulations on your victory tonight. It was truly an unexpected outcome.”

“Not too unexpected, I should think.” Wayne chuckled. “But I am grateful for everyone’s support, even yours.”

Luthor felt his eye twitch and wrinkled his nose when he smiled next. “Of course. However I did not just come up to exchange pleasantries. I admit, the reason that I attended this event was part in due to my plans to make connections with powerful people such as yourself.”

“Part in due? I thought you only came for the publicity.” Wayne laughed, and to anyone else it would pass as a joke but to Luthor it was a scalding comment because it was such a dastardly read on him that it almost made him stumble on his next words.

“Well, that’s certainly a bonus.” he smiled, trying to play off the joke as well. “I mainly wanted to ask if I could be so bold to schedule a meeting with you to-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, Luthor.” Wayne held out his hand. “Look, I’m not interested in any kind of business proposition you have for me.”

Luthor tried to laugh it off again because surely, this was another joke, but those cloudy sky eyes were dead serious.

“I think you are missing out on a momentous opportunity-”

“I refuse to have my father’s company affiliated with the likes of you.” Wayne interrupted him again, like he was never taught how to have a civil conversation in his life.

Clark was startled out of his daze; he had been reading it out loud while imagining Bruce in a slutty little suit that fit too well; showed off everything while saying this– Bruce’s voice was what brought him back. “Of course I was raised to have a civilised conversation; Alfred raised me.”

“Of course we know that, B, it's just Lex doesn't." Clark explained, though he knew that Bruce already knew all that.

“Just keep reading.” Bruce mumbled as he sat back down in his chair, having gotten changed due to… bodily reasons. 

Luthor cleared his throat. “Surely you aren’t one to judge others based on things that happened long in the past?” he tried next, feeling the air beginning to strain.

Wayne just smiled at him.

“You have my answer. Have a good night, Mr Luthor.” he replied before turning his head around to talk to someone else like Luthor wasn’t standing right there. Like he could just ignore him after treating him like absolute dogshit.

The twinge of vomit that he had felt earlier was hitting him much harder now and he excused himself to speed-walk outside before he retched all over the floor. Preferably he’d like to ruin that crisp suit that Wayne was wearing with his upchuck but Luthor had more dignity than that, plus he didn’t want the negative press that came with throwing up all over Gotham’s Prince.

“If he vomits on a suit of mine, fiction or not I will have him thrown in jail for assault.”

“Bruce, you can’t just send Lex to jail for vomiting on you.” Clark sighed.

“I can’t, but I can send him to jail for his drunk actions at the last Gala.”

Clark raised a brow. “The one that I wasn’t invited to and wasn't on TV or any news article because of how exclusive it was?”

“Yes.”

“Wanna tell me what happened, Brucie?”

Bruce sighed loudly, leaning back in his chair like he had just been told he was going to get the worst massage in his life. “No, but I can tell you that he isn’t what he says he is.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” The batman continued to play minecraft with his oldest two boys who should probably also be in bed. “Lied about being an alpha.” The bat grunted as he tamed a pack of wolves, of course, he named him after his butler and his children, starting with Nightwing and going down to Robin.

Clark shook his head, then started to read again, hoping to finish the chapter before Alfred came and stole Bruce away from him like a father keeping his son from a potential date.

He walked outside and leaned on the balcony, gripping it tight enough that his knuckles turned white, hands quivering with rage. Who the hell did Bruce Wayne think that he was to talk to him like that?! Where the hell does he get off looking down on him like some meaningless speck?! He was Lex Luthor for fucks sake! The most brilliant mastermind of their era!

“Clearly…” Bruce muttered sarcastically. “His ego is showing again.”

When Lex finally opened his eyes he was met with the shimmering lights of the city below. The event itself was being held at the top of a building dubbed the Space Needle. It wasn’t too far from Metropolis and was mostly used as a tourist attraction, the space upstairs being rented out for events for the particularly glamorous quite often. So Luthor was six hundred feet above ground with the wind blowing and almost ruffling his suit contemplating what his next move was going to be. Losing the award put a damper on his plans, but sure enough he would prevail, he just needed to think… and maybe make a few calls.

“And for the rest of the world that's one hundred and eighty two meters.” Bruce announced, of course, after Clark had finished the paragraph and was taking a drink of water.

He walked around the entire circumference of the Space Needle, sending emails through his phone and making quick calls which were mostly just threatening his employees. He felt a bit better after some violent words but he was still pretty pissed. He needed to drink some more complimentary champagne and then head home because why was he even here if-

Red boots touched down on the railing close to the door. Luthor was a few meters away, freezing as he took in the sight before him.

Superman, the man of steel, the bane of Luthor’s existence, was standing, no, floating precariously on the railing of the Space Needle, looking in at the party.

What the fuck was he doing here?

Superman would never accept this award, even so, it had already been given away so then why-?

The door suddenly flew open and Superman grinned, that beautiful smile that had all cameras pointing on him, that had women and men swooning over him just because of one flash of white teeth.

What was he smiling at? Someone shut the door and ran towards him. Superman extended his arms out and floated down to allow the other person to crash into him, holding onto them tightly and squeezing, lifting them both up so they were suspended a few feet in the air.

And that’s when Luthor saw the glint of gold in the shape of a dove in the other person’s hand.

The humanitarian award trophy.

That was Bruce Wayne.

Bruce made a face; his animated character copying the best it could. “Ew, why am I hugging you?”

“Because you love me?”

“Never in a million years.” However the heart rate monitor beeped a little faster, it once again gone back to normal, now it was at 89.

“Okay, so, why do you like all the photos of me shirtless I post?”

The monitor on the screen increased to 100. “I like other photos you post as well.”

“Really? Because when I post I only get likes on my shirtless ones, Brucie.”

“You’re delusional.”

Clark laughed again; smiling. “Right, and this ‘delusional idiot’ is going to make you come live with me for a month.”

“First of all; you’re not an idiot and second of all; what.” The heart rate monitor had stopped increasing when he was talking about Clark being an idiot and then sky rocketed to 120 again when staying with Clark for a month processed in his head. “Kal-el, I am not staying with you for a month!”

“You will be, you’ll be sharing my bed, wearing my clothes….”

Bruce’s heart was going to give out if this kept going. “Kal, if you don’t stop this now, I will cancel that month.”

“Thats okay, I’m coming to see you this weekend.” The male with beautiful curls and blue eyes which looked like the sky cooed.

“What? That wasn't planned.”

“I decided today.”

“Thats not how this works, Kal.”

Clark shrugged, “it will be when you’re begging me to fuc–”

“KAL!” Bruce’s voice cracked as he left the call, abandoning Clark to deal with it alone; the man broke into laughter.

“Oh god, no, no I’m sorry B, B come back!” Clark kept laughing, completely forgetting about the Chat which was trying to catch up with the fact Clark Kent, Superman, had just made a very public comment about being the one to top in bed with Batman.

Clark sent Bruce hundreds of emojis and lines of him begging the other to come back, that he’d behave –not that he ever did–, that he’d hold back on the sexual comments and jokes. Bruce finally came back after ten minutes, Clark was still giggling like a school girl. “B, I’m sorry!”

“You’re forgiven, now read.”

“I can’t believe that you’re here.” Wayne pulled away from Superman only enough to look him in the eyes.

“I heard that your name was called so I rushed here as quick as I could. Congratulations, darling!” Superman replied.

And then he kissed Wayne on the cheek, making Luthor’s jaw drop to the ground.

Hold on a fucking minute!!

Was Bruce Wayne part of Superman’s secret harem?!

“You have a harem?”

“No.” Clark rolled his eyes. “If I did, you would know, we’d be married.”

Bruce sighed. “Thats not a harem, Clark.”

“I know, but I’m just saying, I’d marry you over having a harem.”

Bruce’s eye twitched, his cheeks faintly pink as his heart raced slightly at the serenity in the other's voice. “Shut up, keep reading, it's midnight, I need to go to bed.”

Clark's eyes softened. “Right, you have to get Robin up for school tomorrow and go to parent-teacher meetings.” Clark looked back at the ao3 page, trying to figure out if they could finish the chapter before midnight strikes. “We’re Half way through it, I can leave the tab open and come back to it tomorrow, if you'd like.”

Bruce sighed; great, five days of this hell. “Sure.” With that Bruce left the call and everything seemed to shut off. Clark smiled.

“He's such a good little bottom…”

The chat exploded again.

↜☆☀☆↝

“Good evening everyone! Welcome back to another stream.” Clark gleamed at the camera, this was his second stream of the day since he had today off– Bruce had been busy doing what billionaires and parents do all day so Clark had to go it alone. A ding sounded; someone joining a discord call. “Good evening Brucie.”

“Clark.” The other man grunted before taking an audible sip of something that sounded like coffee– though it might just be hot chocolate considering the weather in Gotham. 

“You gonna put the monitor back on, B?”

“Do I have to?”

Clark glanced at chat and shrugged. “The chat says so.”

“I hate you all.” He grunted and you could hear him attaching the monitor, some people in chat were barking because of the batman asmr or something, Clark wouldn’t look too deep into that right now. Once the monitor bar appeared on screen Clark’s grin turned evil.

“Shall we continue where we left off?”

“Go on.”

“Clark Kent is my boyfriend and Superman is my side piece. So is Batman.”

Bruce coughed. “Excuse me? Where is this in chapter one?”

“Oh, sorry B, I read ahead.” Clark laughed softly and went back a chapter so they’d be on chapter one and continuing from where they left off. He cleared his throat and started again; this time, hopefully on the correct section.

“It’s really not that big of a deal, they even said they would have given the award to you had you RSVP-ed.” Bruce Wayne told him, arm around Superman’s neck as the metahuman looked at him with such adoration it was almost sickening.

“Except it’s like, the biggest deal in the world.” Superman argued. “Bruce, I am so so proud of you for this.”

“Of course you are.” Wayne chuckled, shaking his head. “Now put me down before we fall off the edge.”

“Ugh, I hate how nonchalant you are about stuff like this sometimes.” Superman said, honoring Wayne’s request and settling them both back onto the floor. “The kids are all stoked about it too. It’s not every day that their dad becomes a nationally recognized cool guy.”

Kids?! What do they mean kids?! Did Superman have some sort of freaky alien penis that had the ability to get human men pregnant?!

“I’m a nationally recognized humanitarian, and if anything then they should be striving for the same thing later in life.”

“Well, they aren’t going to be as stoked about it if their dad doesn’t make a big deal about it.” Superman said in a tone that was almost pouty. “Dick wants to throw a party.”

“Dick?” Bruce raised a brow, his animated character matching the movement.

“I think that's Nightwing…? You do call him ‘Dick’ a lot on some family streams.”

“That’s because he's being a Dick.” Bruce grunted, clearly not pleased people had picked that up. “How many of the others?”

“Well, people go off the nicknames you’ve been giving them like Robin is Dami or Dames which makes them think his name is Damian, Red hood is Jay or Jace which made people think his name is Jason.” Kal explained, listing what he could remember. “You called Spoiler Steph at some point, Red Robin as Tim– well you yelled at someone named Tim in the background of your stream a few months ago and people recognised the voice as Red robin…”

“How do you know this, Kent?”

“I know everything about you.” Clark, of course, teasing, said. 

Bruce was quiet for a moment, processing. This wasn’t the first time this has been said to him but the tone was different, slightly more creepy. He, of course, filed that into his head for later and then cleared his throat. “Read.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“I will leave and block you.”

“You can’t block all 76 of my alts.” Clark cooed.

“You have seventy six alternative accounts!?”

Clark decided to brush past Bruce and his chats confusion and panic.

“Are you sure Dick wants to throw a party and not you who wants to throw a party?”

“Well, me and Dick want to throw you a party.”

Superman’s hands were still on Wayne’s waist. He was taller than the billionaire by an inch or two, just enough so Wayne had to look up to meet his eyes. And Luthor was taken aback by the affection held in those grey eyes. When most people looked at Superman it was with awe, starstruck by his powers and his presence. This wasn’t that. It was contentment, fondness, just a little bit of amusement at the dorkiness that Superman was displaying. It was something that Luthor couldn’t find the word for but he felt like he was intruding on something very intimate.

“That is wrong, Bruce is like two heads shorter than me.” Clark deadpanned.

The Wayne sighed. “No, I’m taller than you. You’re like 4’9.”

“I am not!”

“Yes you are!” A voice yelled from the background, one of Bruce's kids which made the chat crazy because Nightwing is here. “Dad, where’s Jay?”

“The gym on the third floor.” Bruce was now distracted, talking to his eldest son. “Can you make sure he eats? I don’t think he had dinner.”

“Sure, Dad.” Nightwing smiled and the door closed. 

“You don’t have to go to all of that trouble.” Wayne told him.

“I want to. You deserve nice things.” Superman told him, pulling him closer to his body. “C’mon, Bruce. You’ve worked so hard these past few weeks, you can spare one evening.”

Wayne seemed to consider this for a moment, then let out a soft sigh.

“Alright, if it will make you happy, I will let you throw a party for me.” Wayne said.

Superman grinned stupidly again and lifted Wayne up to spin him around like he weighed nothing. Wayne just held on tightly until he was put down again.

“But, I have conditions.”

“Oh come on, B-”

“One is that it has to be lowkey. I don’t want anything too extravagant.”

“Ugh, Dick is going to be so disappointed."

“Two, no gifts. I don’t need anything from you.”

“Okay that’s not-”

“And three. You have to spend the night afterwards.”

“Brucie wants me to stay the night?” Clark cooed, leaning forward in his chair slightly, ready to make Bruce's heart race again even if it would be clipped like carzy– like most sessions of their flirting was.

“Why else would I have booked you a place for next month?”

“Why didn’t you just make arrangements for me to sleep with you?”

“Because the last time you wouldn’t stop grabbing me. It was a hot night, I don't need you being a human heater!”

Clark laughed softly. “Does my baby just not want to overheat?” Bruce’s heart rate went up, it was cute how easily Clark could make that happen.

“I’m not your anything Kal.”

Clark ignored him and started to read again; 

That seemed to shut Superman up and he blushed, honest to goodness blushed. Even in the dark Luthor could see his face turn red.

Oh EW!

“O-Okay. I can do that.” Superman stuttered but was sporting a dopey grin, his dimples becoming visible, the little divots in his cheeks making themselves known. 

Wayne smiled at him softly, a much tamer and gentler version of the smile he’d been giving to the other rich twats inside all night.

“Then we have a deal.” he said.

Superman nodded. “It’s going to be awesome.” he said.

“I’m sure.” Wayne chuckled. “I have to go now, and you probably have a kitten or two that need to be saved from getting stuck in a tree.”

“Yeah haha.” Superman rubbed his neck. “I just wanted to come by and say congrats.”

“Well, mission accomplished.” Wayne started to pull apart to head inside but Superman stopped him.

“No goodbye kiss? I won’t get to see you until tomorrow.”

Wayne seemed to consider this as well, before stepping back into Superman’s space and leaning in close to him, noses brushing and lips a centimeter away from touching.

“Bruice, will I get a goodbye kiss when I come see you?”

“No.” 

“But-”

“No.”

“Goodbye, Kal.” he said before he tilted Superman’s chin down and pulled him into a kiss that even had Luthor’s ears turning red, despite it not even being particularly racy. It was far more tender and sweet than Luthor thought that playboy Bruce Wayne would ever be capable of, and when Superman’s eyes fluttered closed on impact he smiled against Wayne’s mouth. They both broke apart reluctantly, keeping their lips pressed together until the literal last moment. And when they finally parted Superman pressed yet another kiss to Wayne’s forehead.

“See you tomorrow.” Superman promised.

“Yeah.” Wayne replied, finally pulling away. “See ya then.”

Superman held onto Wayne’s hand as long as he could, then he hopped up onto the railing and fell down, slowly sinking and waving to Wayne until he was out of sight from him. Luthor watched as Wayne fixed his hair and suit, feeling his cheeks with the back of his hand to make sure that they weren’t too flushed, then headed back inside.

Leaving Luthor with several questions as to what the hell he had just witnessed.

“I also have questions.” Bruce muttered. “Like why are you reading this?”

“Because Mionyxtomioka suggested it last night, Brucie!” Clark beamed.

“I regret agreeing to this.”

He had been hiding behind a section of the Space Needle so he wouldn’t be spotted, watching them through the metal beams the entire time, practically holding his breath as he watched his arch rival dote on the man who snubbed him of his award. He was pretty sure that they hadn’t seen him. He couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not.

Bruce Wayne was notorious for his… escapades. The man was attractive, he could have anyone he wanted, so it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that he could seduce Superman as well. Luthor just didn’t expect that Superman would stoop so low. And what’s worse, he seemed to be enamored by the playboy, completely entranced by him for reasons that Luthor could not fathom why. He’d always thought that Bruce Wayne was a snarky, arrogant ditz who spent more time throwing around his money than actually doing anything useful with his life like world domination. And, yes, maybe Luthor was a little biased since Wayne Enterprises has now officially rejected Luthor Corp.’s attempts to buy parts of his company but that doesn’t mean he can’t have an opinion on Wayne’s character.

Although… if he was able to get into Superman’s pants, it’s possible that he knows who or what he really is under the suit.

“Whats under the suit, Brucie?"

“A tattoo of my name above your ass.” Bruce’s heart rate didn't increase, didn't change, he said it with a straight face that made Clark splutter. He sucked in a breath and decided to shoot back at the other man.

“Bruce, you literally sent me a photo of your superman trampstamp. You have my name on your body!”

Bruce’s heart rate jumped again, going back up to 100; clearly he had forgotten about that. “I did no such thing.”

“You did, five months ago, we were on call when you were getting it, you sent me a photo of the final product when it was healed!” The farm boy huffed. “I will pull up a photo to show the stream.”

“You’ll get a strike if you do that.” Bruce grunted the reminder considering it was quite the revealing photo.

“True..” Clark sighed and shook his head. “I’m gonna continue reading.”

Prostitutes were known to be exposed to highly sensitive information just from the loud mouths of the very powerful people they were sleeping with, so it’s entirely possible that Superman, a man who portrays himself as being so good, so kind and compassionate, may just lend a bit of vulnerability with the one he spent his nights with.

Luthor picked up his phone, dialing a number.

“Otis. There’s been a slight change in plans.”

Clark paused. “How dare he call my baby boy a prostitute, I’d be the prostitute." Bruce laid his head on his desk, sighing at the other man like he had just given up on him; which was likely true now. “Ooh, time skip!”

“Oh god…”

Bruce didn’t really want a party being thrown for him.

He suspected that Clark might have made a big deal about him winning the Humanitarian Award, but he was really hoping that he wouldn’t end up throwing a party. In his mind it genuinely wasn’t that big of a deal because of course he’s going to help people in need, that’s what his parents would have wanted him to do and that’s just the kind of person that he is. An award didn’t tell him that he was a good person, his actions showed that enough.

But he forgot that his kids were just as much of fiends for anything to celebrate as Clark was. Multiple birthday parties a year wasn’t enough, even if that included their pets and friends. The family was always searching for something to celebrate and find joy in. And Bruce was known to fold easily whenever his kids asked him for anything nicely. 

He also tended to give into whenever Clark asked nicely as well. Bruce should really work on putting his foot down whenever he gets the puppy eyes from his kids and the bedroom eyes from Clark. Unfortunately he was weak to both.

“Oh, you’re weak to bedroom eyes?” Clark grinned. “I’ll keep that in mind, Brucie.”

“This is the work of fiction, Clark.”

“They got you being weak to your kids' puppy-dog eyes right so from what I know they could be right about the bedroom eyes.” Clark shrugged.

Bruce sighed. “First of all, the author goes by she/her pronouns, she stated that on her tumblr page.” 

“You searched her up?”

“I started reading one of her more recent fics.” Bruce mumbled, his heart rate spiking slightly. “There was a link to her tumblr in its author notes.”

“Which one?”

“Start reading again, Clark.”

“But-”

“Read.”

Clark sighed, scrolling down slightly so he could read the next bit.

The party would likely happen tonight, they would try to surprise Bruce when he came home from his work at the Wayne Enterprises building. Bruce planned to act surprised and let them indulge in the festivities before he prepped him and Damian for patrol that night. Then when he got back Clark would hopefully be waiting for him in bed, hopefully shirtless.

It’s been way too long since they last had sex and Bruce was practically itching to jump Clark at every opportunity. That’s part of the reason he gave into this party, if Clark promised to spend the night with him and fuck him hard enough that Bruce would be sore for how ever many days or weeks they would have to be apart for next. Hero work kept them away and Clark was working on a big journalism project currently. He still kept that job no matter how many times Bruce offered to take care of him for the rest of his life. Clark would just smile and shake his head and say that he enjoyed having a civilian job. Kept him humble or whatever.

God, Bruce loved that man.

“You wanna be railed when I come see you, Brucie?”

“No comment.” The spike in his heart rate and the slight hitch in his voice told Clark everything he needed to know. That was a yes.

Bruce was barely reading the words on his computer anymore. What was this email about? Budget? Marketing? Accounting? Fuck, he couldn’t focus. This is what happens when your eccentric family plans things behind your back, you worry about them.

He could only hope they weren’t going to burn the manor down. Alfred should prevent that from happening, but that didn’t stop Bruce’s mind from running every possible danger scenario in the book. Which was making it borderline impossible to focus on actual business.

Suddenly his office phone beeped, indicating a call from the front desk worker.

“Wayne.” he said.

“Ah, yes, Mr Wayne we have someone here who says that he needs to see you a-and it’s urgent.”

That’s weird. Bruce didn’t have any meetings until later. He was supposed to just be going through busy work until then and making sure that things were up to date and ready to go to launch his new program.

“Did he give you his name?”

“Er, sorry dear, what’s your name? …okay, um, he said his name is Lex Luthor?”

Bruce sighed loudly. “I told you I didn’t like him.”

“You did, but Bruce, nothing's happened yet.”

The bat deadpanned. “He's gonna kidnap me, you dumbass.”

Clark paused, thinking about it for a moment. “Seeing you tied up and on your knees would be nice…”

“Kal-el, not the time.”

The reporter laughed softly. “Sorry, sorry.” He shook his head, trying to remove the extremely pleasant thoughts of Bruce on his knees, tied up and being used– yeah, not on stream, he can't do that on stream. Clark cleared his throat and started to read again.

Of fucking course. Bruce let out a sigh, loud enough that he hoped that Luthor would hear it on the other end. What the hell was he doing in Gotham? Was he seriously planning on badgering Bruce until he wore him down and agreed to work with him? Not happening. Absolutely not.

“Tell him to get the fuck out of the building and if he doesn’t go willingly then get security or call the police. He’s not welcome here.” Bruce told her before taking his finger off of the button and leaning back in his chair.

Just another inconvenience.

The phone beeped again.

Which was quickly turning into an annoyance.

He pressed the button again.

“Yes?”

“Hello, Mr Wayne.” a snarky voice that definitely didn’t belong to the receptionist answered him.

“Luthor.” Bruce spoke through gritted teeth. “I thought I told security to escort you out.”

“Yes, and they are standing right beside me, all I ask is to make my case as to why you should see me now. I’d rather not have to deal with the drudgery of emails or going through your secretary, and it’s rather important that I speak to you post-haste.”

“If you can do it in ten words or less then you can, otherwise I’ll call 911 myself.”

“It concerns last night, and a particular metahuman acquaintance.”

Bruce froze, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up.

“See.” Bruce grunted. “He's gonna kidnap me.”

“And then I’d go get you.”

“I’d rather Nightwing and Red Hood come get me.” Bruce huffed, trusting his children more than his friend-husband-boyfriend-thing.

“Why?”

“I know I can trust them.” Bruce shrugged, taking a drink of coffee, while staring at Clark's stream on one of his monitors, the stream muted so he wouldn’t hear himself echo. “Don’t pout.”

“But… you don’t trust me Brucie…”

“I trust my kids more than you, that doesn’t mean I don’t trust you at all.”

“So you do trust me?”

“We’re not talking about this, keep reading.”

Clark pouted again, but did as he was told as if clicker trained.

Last night was the Humanitarian Award Gala. And after Bruce had won the award Clark had met him there to say congratulations. Bruce thought that no one would have been able to see them, all of the curtains were drawn on the windows inside so no one could see from inside.

Apparently someone had seen, and it just so happened to be the worst possible person and #1 hater of Superman in the entire world.

Panic shot through Bruce. Even though Luthor wasn’t airing out his business to his downstairs staff, he had phrased it in a way where Bruce would know exactly what he meant, which means he planned to use this information for something. He could have pictures or recordings of it, and full well wanted to use it to blackmail Bruce into doing his bidding.

Not if Bruce had anything to say about it.

“Fine.” Bruce agreed. “Head on up, don’t waste my time.”

Luthor was in his office in a few minutes, having discarded his suit jacket but sporting a smug little grin. Bruce leaned forward on his chair, brows knit together as Luthor started looking around his office.

“This is a nice place you got here. Entire floor, just to yourself. Could get up to a lot of devilry in here.” Luthor commented

“Is your office actually a whole floor?”

“Yes.” Bruce answered with a shrug, his animated figure mimicking the motion as Bruce hit a button and turned it into the ‘batblob’ which could make Harley pass out from cuteness– or so the woman said when she first saw it when he had it done.

“Get on with it.” Bruce laced his fingers together on top of his desk. “What is it that you think you saw and why are you bothering to come and talk to me about it?”

Luthor chuckled, putting his hands into his pockets. “It isn’t what I think I saw, it’s what I did see. And I just so happened to see you and Superman engaged in, what I can only assume was romantic endeavors. I mean, pfft, lifting you up in his arms and kissing you oh-so tenderly isn’t something he would do to just any old civilian. He even offered to throw a party for you and your spawn, how thoughtful.”

He was being condescending. Luthor always was. But this time it didn’t concern his business, which Bruce was able to easily talk around him and dodge any attempts at trying to buy him out. This was his personal life, as well as his potential secret identity. He had to be more careful.

Bruce cracked a grin and let out a breathy laugh.

“Luthor, I’m sure that you’re overestimating what Superman means to me in this regard.” he leaned back into his chair and propped his foot up on his knee. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m gorgeous. I have quite the roster of models and celebrities who have been in my bed. Superheroes aren’t an exception to that.”

“I’m not the only one?” Clark whined. Bruce didn’t dignify that with a response. “Brucie?”

The man sighed, knowing whichever way he plays this he would get a certain reaction. “I don’t sleep with friends.”

“But I’m not your friend.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m your boyfriend.”

Bruce bluescreened. That was not how he was expecting this to go. “Clark, we are not dating–”

“Not yet, we will be soon.” Clark's voice dropped to what one could only describe as a classic yandere voice.

“Either finish reading or I am going to cancel our meeting plans and leave the stream.” Bruce’s heart rate monitor was going off again, 126 and climbing.

Luthor barked out a laugh at him.

“I wouldn’t flatter yourself too much. However I know that this wasn’t some clingy one night stand. He mentioned kids.”

“My kids, not his. None of them are his.” Bruce mentioned, frowning.

“And why would he know about any of them, much less any of their names, if he wasn’t involved in their lives?” Luthor mentioned. “Who was the one particularly excited about the party? Dick?”

Bruce stood up then, buttoning his jacket before his gaze turned cold, slipping into his more Batman-like persona at the mention of his eldest.

Luthor was dangerous, Bruce recognized this. He was Clark’s most powerful human nemesis. This is exactly why Bruce liked to keep all of his superhero business in Gotham. But now that Luthor had the audacity to start trampling around in his city, he wasn’t just going to lie and take it, especially if Luthor was threatening his family.

“Can I break my code and kill this guy?” Bruce muttered, cutting off Clark's story reading, again.

“Bruce, no.”

“He's threatening my kids.”

“That doesn’t mean you can kill him–”

“Can I inflict massive amounts of injury onto his body and have him die from his injuries?”

“I think that still counts as you killing him Bruce…”

“No, he died from his injuries.”

Clark sighed. “Sure, whatever, roll for it later.” With that Clark continued to read. 

“What do you even want out of me?” Bruce crossed his arms.

“I feel like that should be obvious, Wayne.” Luthor shrugged. “I want information. Surely being as close to Superman as you seem to be you’ve picked up a few things. Just tell me what you know and then you’ll never have to see me again. I’ll leave Gotham and I’ll keep all of my battles in Metropolis.”

Bruce didn’t believe that for a second.

“Like I said, my relationship with Superman isn’t close enough to warrant knowing anything more about him than the public does save for what he looks like with his clothes off.” Bruce tried to tell him.

“And I don’t buy that. But if you refuse to tell me then it seems that I will have to take more drastic measures.” Luthor pulled his hands out of his pockets to adjust his cuffs.

“What do you mean by that?” Bruce asked.

Luthor’s gaze suddenly flicked to something behind Bruce and before Bruce even had the chance to turn around his mouth and nose were covered with a cloth and the smell of chloroform hit him, too late to hold his breath from it, Bruce already beginning to pass out from it. His back was pressed against whoever was holding him down, someone who was taller than him and was completely covering him. He shut his eyes but was still fighting the chloroform so he could hear what Luthor said next.

“You were right, he kidnapped you.” Clark sighed.

“I know, I read the tags.”

“Bruce, that's cheating!”

“How is it cheating?”

“You weren’t supposed to know what the fic was about!!"

Bruce's blob-character just stared straight ahead like Clark was an idiot. “You do know that I only read the tags because of Red Hood's reaction to watching the stream, right?”

“Oh god, he read it?”

“He has it on his tear-list as an ‘S’ level for the smut in it.”

“Which means it's good, right?”

“You can figure that out as we go, please just hurry up. I’m almost out of coffee.” Bruce yawned.

“I’ll wipe the security footage and then meet you back in Metropolis. Make sure no one sees you heading out. I don’t want any of Gotham’s vigilantes coming after us. This is between me and Superman.”

The world went black and Bruce could only hope that Superman wouldn’t do anything rash.

Although knowing Clark, he absolutely was going to.

Clark pouted. “I would not do something stupid.”

“You, going head first into Lex/Luthor Corp to save me when he is likely prepared for you isn’t stupid?”

“No, it's romantic.”

“You dying is romantic?"

“Me saving you is romantic, baby.”

“I give up with you.” There was a ding and Bruce was gone; Clark sighed.

“I love him…”