Work Text:
‘’I need your help,’’ Buck says the minute Ravi answers his phone.
‘’Hi Ravi! How are you Ravi? I hope I’m not disturbing your only day off this week Ravi,’’ Ravi teases but Buck just sighs on the other line.
‘’Sorry, yes. I’m so sorry but I really need your help,’’ Buck sighs again – this time defeated. Ravi immediately cuts the teasing.
‘’Hey man, everything okay?’’
‘’I need a Theo whisperer,’’ Buck begs.
‘’Um, okay. Where is Eddie?’’ Ravi asks carefully.
Both Buck and Eddie were on and off shifts this week since they couldn’t get their usual babysitter and at some point, Buck probably told Ravi what their plans for the weekend were but Buck really talks a lot and Ravi usually just wants to sleep in their down time anyway – so the info probably slipped his mind.
‘’He’s in El Paso for his mom’s birthday and Chris is in summer camp and man,’’ he takes a deep breath. ‘’I really, really need your help for like an hour or two. I need to drop by our lawyer to sign some papers and I really don’t want to release hell on Earth on their plate by bringing him in.’’
‘’Oh, yeah. That’s cool. I have some plans with May later tonight. But Buck, wait…’’ Ravi leans on the kitchen island, evil grin on his face.
‘’Yeah?’’ Buck says automatically putting Ravi on speakerphone while he wrangles Theo around.
‘Theo, please don’t spill your chocolate milk on your… Okay, you’re spilling chocolate milk on the rug instead. This is fine.’
Ravi snorts out a laugh.
‘Yes honey, you can bring your magic markers to Ravi. Just put them in your... Yes, okay, bring your half-eaten apple too.’
‘’You were saying Rav?’’ Buck asks now closer to the phone.
‘’I’m a Theo whisperer?’’ Ravi teases and Buck groans further in the background.
‘Theo buddy, can you please just… No, no… That’s fine, you can wear socks of two different colours… Why? Well, today is a fun day and on fun days we wear different coloured socks. Why am I not wearing them then? Well, uhm.’
‘’Don’t even start,’’ Buck says directly in the phone and Ravi snorts.
‘’You know, it’s refreshing actually. You hated me when we first met and now your son thinks I’m the coolest person alive.’’
He can hear Buck buckling up Theo in the car seat, the soft click of the belt then the doors closing.
‘’He doesn’t think that,’’ Buck says offended. ‘’And I didn’t hate you.’’
‘’You chased me with a chainsaw.’’
‘’Only after you said the Q word probie,’’ Buck says but immediately slaps his hand over his mouth and the slap is so loud that Ravi can hear it over the phone.
‘’Probie?’’ Ravi muses.
‘’Fuck, sorry. Didn’t mean to say that. I’m sleep deprived and I didn’t know who else to call.’’
‘’I’m joking Buck, bring him over on your way to the lawyer.’’
‘’Be there in ten. Oh, and Rav?’’ Buck suddenly whispers into the phone.
‘’Yeah?’’
‘’Just a heads up, he might call you Prince Naveen at some point.’’
‘’What? Prince… What?’’
But Buck disconnects the call leaving Ravi puzzled.
Buckley-Diaz family will be the death of him.
He looks at the phone in his hand then dials up May.
‘’Hey babe, everything okay? We still on for tonight?’’
Ravi smiles the minute her voice fills the air. He’s on speakerphone, May is probably driving.
‘’Yeah, we’re all good. Just wanted to tell you that Buck admitted I’m a Theo whisperer,’’ he says proudly. May laughs.
‘’He did not? Over Eddie?’’
‘’Well, Eddie is in El Paso and he called the next best thing.’’
‘’Oh, you’re really enjoying this aren’t you?’’
Ravi laughs opening the fridge and pantry to see what snacks he has. He knows Buck will pack something but since getting Theo he’s been on a health streak and every time he sees poor Theo the only snacks he has are either baby carrots or a sugarless zucchini loaves.
If he’s going to keep the title of Theo whisperer and best uncle ever he has to be the provider of great snacks. Score! There’s a Spider Man themed fruit yogurt from their last hangout in the back of his fridge.
‘’Karma is a bitch darling,’’ he says kneeling to open the snack drawer and finds a good amount of relatively healthy yet enough junk foodie snacks in there. They’re covered.
‘’He’s dropping Theo at your place?’’
‘’Mhm, just for an hour or two. He has a meeting with their lawyer and doesn’t want to bring Theo along.’’
‘’No shit,’’ May laughs on the other line.
‘’Hey there,’’ Ravi mocks offence. Yes, Theo can be a handful but he’s never like that with him.
Okay, except that one time when he ate his cat Gizmo’s food from the bowl then proceeded to vomit all over his living room floor – the smell of it making Gizmo vomit and finally the combination of the two of them making Ravi join them.
A real vomit palooza.
That wasn’t a good day.
Gizmo is now knocked out on the far end of the couch not knowing the hurricane coming in to wake him up any minute now.
‘’You know what I mean. I love that boy but that entire office would put Buck and Eddie on their black list if they were to bring him along,’’ May answers.
‘’Yeah, I know.’’
‘’Need some company?’’
‘’You mean do we want Princess Tiana here with us for a playtime?’’ Ravi teases but May just startles confused.
‘’What?’’
‘’Apparently Buck says that Theo thinks I’m Prince Naveen,’’ he says proudly.
May snorts a laugh on the other side of the line, Ravi follows.
‘’You know what, yeah okay. Princess Tiana is on her way to her Prince Naveen and his disciple. Be there in half an hour.’’
As soon as May disconnects the line Ravi’s doorbell rings five consecutive times. He huffs out a laugh pocketing his phone opening the door to Theo propped up in Buck’s arms holding his entire weight on the doorbell.
‘’Who dares disturb me in this god-awful hour?’’ Ravi makes his voice cartoonishly deep and annoying, faking fainting. Theo claps his hands and smiles bright reaching for Ravi.
‘’Raviiiiii!’’
‘’Hey little dude, miss me?’’ Ravi takes him from Buck’s hold and opens the door for Buck to enter.
Buck leaves Theo’s backpack on the kitchen island and starts rambling.
‘’He has a snack and a juice box, but in case he doesn’t want that I’ve left you a twenty for pizza. He never says no to pizza. There is a change of clothes in there if he has an accident but I really hope it doesn’t come to that because the last load of laundry is still on and that’s practically the only thing dry in the house.
‘’Oh, there are some colouring books and…’’
‘’Hey man, we’re good. It’s not our first rodeo,’’ Ravi puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder as Theo stays calm in Ravi’s hands. ‘’You’ll be gone for two hours tops. We’ll be fine.’’
‘’Okay. Yes. Okay. You’re right,’’ Buck claps his hands then kisses Theo on his head. ‘’I won’t be long Theo, be good for your uncle Ravi okay?’’
‘’Okay,’’ Theo answers looking at the dinosaur toy in his hand that Ravi procured out of thin air.
Ravi cocks his head towards the door so Buck can take the opportunity and leave while Theo is distracted.
‘’Thank you again Rav,’’ he says skipping to the door.
Ravi goes to the couch and puts Theo on the cushions but as soon as he himself sits down Theo without a word – still playing with the dinosaur – scooches until he’s glued to Ravi’s side. Ravi smiles then puts an arm around him. Gizmo stays in his dream world not moving a muscle when Theo lands next to him, and for some reason Theo just glances at him but doesn’t make the move to poke Gizmo in the eye.
If someone saw them now they’d never connect this Theo with the Theo the world is used to see.
‘’So, Theo. What do you say we watch The Princess and the Frog?’’
Theo immediately snaps his eyes to Ravi and his smile widens nodding.
They are eating snacks – the good kind, from Ravi’s pantry and not the freshly cut vegetables Buck packed – when May enters the apartment with her own key.
‘’We’re here!’’ Ravi yells from the couch as May enters the living room area with a smile and far too many bags in her hands.
‘’Hi boys, having fun?’’
She pecks Ravi’s lips and ruffles Theo’s hair who giggles in response. She then turns around to the tv and sees what they’re watching. Gizmo yawns next to them then loafs up further undisturbed.
Theo is still focused on the screen when May comically digs around her paper bag.
‘’Theo, can you help me out with something? I got a gift for Ravi but I need you to see if it’s right first.’’
She winks at the boy and Theo jumps immediately sliding on his knees on the floor next to May. Ravi lifts his eyebrow as Theo puts his entire head in the bag while May whispers something in his ear Ravi can’t hear, both of them giggling.
Theo then finally gets a hold of whatever is in the bag and gasps.
‘’It’s true!’’ He turns to Ravi, eyes wide like saucers. ‘’You ARE Prince Naveen!’’
He then stands up from the floor holding a frog plushie in his hands. May tries holding her laughter while Ravi stutters.
‘’Um, no Theo. I’m Ravi, you know who I am.’’
Theo cocks his head like he’s thinking it over but then shakes his head.
‘’Are you sure?’’
Theo comes between Ravi’s knees where he’s still sitting on the couch and narrows his eyes inspecting him.
‘’Yeah babe, are you sure about that?’’ May adds from the floor, snickering. Ravi levels her with his gaze.
Theo is still looking at him. Studying him like he’s trying to solve the world’s greatest puzzle.
‘’No, you’re not Ravi,’’ he says fully convinced.
‘’I can assure you I am Theo.’’
‘’Are you undercover? You don’t want people to know that you are a … prince?’’ He whispers the last word under his breath and May erupts in giggles. Theo then turns around and points a finger at her.
‘’And you’re princess Tiana! I knew it!’’
And now it’s Ravi’s time to snort out a laugh.
‘’You were saying?’’ He says to May over Theo’s head but she just rolls her eyes.
‘’Shut up, at least I’m not a frog.’’
May joins them on the couch when Ravi’s phone rings.
‘’Oh, it’s Chris. Wanna see your big brother Theo?’’
‘’Yes! I miss Chris. Chris also likes frogs.’’
Theo is gently petting Gizmo’s head while the cat is still sleeping, completely unbothered.
‘’Good to know that,’’ Ravi says then connects the video call. ‘’Hey bud.’’
‘’Hey Ravi. May you’re there too! Buck told me that he had to drop Theo off with you so I just wanted to check if you’re still alive,’’ Chris teases.
‘’Ha ha, funny. You know I’m a Theo whisperer.’’
Christopher snorts.
‘’Oh, I know. Buck won’t shut up about it,’’ he goes to say something else but then Theo yanks Ravi’s phone, brings it all the way up his face so the only thing Christopher sees is his nose and an eye from up close.
‘’Hey, what’ya doing lil dude? You are not terrorizing Ravi?’’
But Theo just puts his little finger over his lips and makes shushing noises, then whispers.
‘’Chris, I have a secret.’’
‘’Really,’’ Chris says intrigued. ‘’Do tell.’’
Chris can hear Ravi groaning and May laughing in the background.
‘’Ravi is actually Prince Naveen and aunty May is Princess Tiana. They are undercover. But you can’t tell that to anyone. Look!’’ He then screeches as he lifts the frog plushie in front of the camera like that proves something.
‘’Ravi, I think Theo found other ways to terrorize you.’’
‘’I hate your entire family,’’ Ravi groans dropping his head into his hands.
‘’It’ll be your family soon, you dumbass,’’ May says fondly kissing him on the top of his head.
‘’You’re lucky you’re cute.’’
Chris smiles but then Theo brings the phone back to his face and whispers again. ‘’See, they are undercover.’’
And Chris can’t help but laugh at the ever-moving blur that is Theo as May and Ravi wrangle him in hugs, kisses and tickles. He might be a teenager and borderline annoyed when Theo wakes him up at the crack of dawn but he really misses his little brother right now.