Archive of Our Own

"Samira! There's a probable metacarpal fracture in north six. Portable x-ray's set up and ready to go," Robby called to the R4 leaning against a desk at central.

He was already frustrated. Samira had always been slower than he'd liked but the last few weeks she'd been dragging her feet more than usual. He attributed it to the fact that she had mere months left at PTMC. Clearly, she'd already mentally checked out.

But the ED was particularly busy that day for reasons that the nurses were attributing to the full moon that night. He needed all hands on deck and working at pace. Mohan especially.

She looked up at him before scanning the room until her eyes landed on Frank, exiting a patient's room, rubbing sanitizing foam between his hands.

"Langdon," she called. "Can you take a metacarpal fracture? Portable x-ray's already in six!"

The delegation needled at Robby. Why she couldn't simply take instruction was beyond him. Everything was an argument with her—stubborn to a fault. "I asked you to take it, Samira. Not Langdon," he scolded, pulling up to stand next to her.

"Okay. Well. I'm not doing it so," she said, not meeting his eyes, agitation plain on her face. "Frank?"

"Yeah. I got it, Samira," he nodded, turning to walk in the direction of the room, but not before glancing to Robby, tilting an eyebrow in question.

Samira Mohan was one of the biggest headaches Robby had ever managed as a resident. She still didn't look at him, so he bent over, forcing her to meet his eyeline.

"Mohan, following the chain of command is not optional. I know you're a senior resident. I know you're almost finished here but until July, you still need to follow the instructions of your attending. Do you understand?"

Samira pulled herself to height, slightly wincing as she did. "Look, if you have a problem with it, take it up with Abbot." Her face seemed resigned, more at ease than he'd seen in all the time he'd known her, irritated but not enough to argue the point.

"I'm the attending on duty, Samira. I don't care if Abbot is easier on you," Robby scolded. He privately suspected that Abbot's soft spot for Mohan was more than a professional interest. It grated Robby's nerves that apparently his favoritism of her had risen to a level that made Samira comfortable enough with out and out insubordination.

"Easier on me. Right. Is that all, because I have patients to see?" she dismissed picking up a tablet and brushing past him, not bothering to wait for a response.

Robby was left standing, mouth agape. He almost couldn't fathom what had gotten into Mohan that emboldened her to flagrantly ignore him. Whatever it was, it seemed he'd have no choice but to follow her instruction and take it up with Abbot.

Dana interrupted his thoughts with a clearing of her throat. She crossed her arms in front of her. "You really are as dumb as you look sometimes."

—

Jack had long been accused of basically living inside the walls of PTMC. A different version of him had a habit of showing up on his days off, pulling overtime until his credentials locked him out of the system.

Recently, though, Jack had a good reason for showing up to the pitt on days when he was not on schedule. Samira had her own car, was perfectly capable of driving herself to and from work in her present state as she was wont to remind him, but today, as had been happening more and more frequently, she had texted him with an hour left in her shift to say she was simply too wiped to safely operate a motor vehicle and would he please come and pick her up.

He tried not to let worry get the better of him—knew she at least pretended to be irritated by his frantic hovering. Still, any opportunity to take care of her, of both of them, he'd take in a heartbeat.

He pulled up to the hub a few minutes before shift change, figuring he could surreptitiously check in on her.

"How's she doing," he asked Dana, knowing that she'd been keeping an eye on his girlfriend at his behest.

"She's tired and on Robby's nerves, but she seems happier than I've seen her in all the time I've known her. Though I suppose being two months shy of leaving this place for good does that to a person," she reasoned. Dana threatened to quit like it was part of her essential duties, but Jack knew she felt a sense of obligation, not to the hospital, but to the people who found their way to her emergency department, staff or otherwise.

"Amongst other things," he smirked in reply.

"And how are other things going? I'm trying not to pry more than she shares, which isn't much."

Truthfully, Abbot doubted Samira would have shared anything at all, but for the fact that Dana had shrewdly intuited the real reason for the "stomach bug" Samira had nursed for a month in her first trimester. Samira had been willing to offer up some information in thanks to Dana being at the ready with saltines and ginger ale and keeping her name out of the rumor mill.

As far as Jack knew, the only other person who was aware of Samira's pregnancy was, somewhat bizarrely, Langdon. Jack supposed it made sense. Langdon was her peer, a dad, and no stranger to being in the dog house with Robby. She'd asked him to cover for her in the event she needed to avoid less than ideal situations—CT scans or volatile patients or the inevitable odors that showed up in the ER but now had Samira reaching for an emesis bag.

"Other things are—Yeah. Other things are great. Measurements are perfect. Heartbeat sounds–" He couldn't put words to it. The first time he'd heard the heartbeat, he'd been so overcome with emotion that Samira was the one comforting him, despite being the one on the exam table covered in ultrasound jelly. "Anatomy scan coming up but blood tests so far are normal," he rattled off. .

"That's good to hear. And how are you feeling?" Dana replied.

"Scared shitless. Absolutely terrified. Happier than I've ever been," he admitted.

When Samira had texted him that they needed to talk ten weeks ago, he'd been sure he'd screwed things up somehow—that she was ending things with him only a few months after they'd started.

"You can be involved as much or as little as you want. I know we're not—this is new. So if you're not in, I get it. But I'm keeping it," she explained, resolute. "I was worried it was already too late for me. And apparently it's not. So."

She'd had a look in her eyes when she handed him the stick that he recognized. It was the same face she wore preparing herself for Robby's admonishment, steely-eyed like she knew anger and disappointment were coming, and she was bracing for impact.

That she had assumed this would be his reaction alarmed him, made him furious with Robby, but the joy at what she was telling him had overridden all other feelings. He was going to be a father, a dream he'd long resigned would not come true. He was going to have a child that was half Samira Mohan.

"We're having a baby?" he'd confirmed, certain that adoration must be clear on his face.

"We're having a baby," she'd nodded in pure relief.

Both of their relief had been short-lived, all of their insecurities giving way to bigger fears, all related to the wellbeing of Samira and the life she was creating.

Abbot's psychiatrist was still adjusting his meds, bit by bit.

"Good," Dana acknowledged with a nod, pulling him back to the present. "Scared means you're ready."

"I sure as shit don't feel ready," he confessed.

"You never do," she answered sagely.

Robby strolled up at that moment and Dana shot Jack a wink before busying herself.

"Hey, Brother, I didn't know you were on shift tonight," Robby greeted him, slapping his back as he came to stand next to Jack.

"Oh, no. I leave the full moons to Shen these days," he chuckled.

"And you just figured you'd offer a hand?" Robby asked, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Jack wore street clothes rather than scrubs. Robby didn't notice much that didn't affect him and truly, Jack didn't want to cop to the real reason he was there, so he was grateful for Robby's less than acute observational skills.

"Something like that," he acknowledged with a nod, offering no further explanation.

"Well, while you're here, I need to talk to you about something," Robby began, adopting a serious tone. There was a disappointment and exhaustion to it that almost universally indicated that he wanted to discuss Samira.

Jack's heartbeat thrummed, almost certain that Robby had found out at best that he and Samira were seeing each other or worst, that they were living together and expecting a child.

"I had to write up Mohan today," Robby sighed, clearly exasperated.

That took Jack aback. She was six weeks out from an attending position at UPMC. Her contract was signed. It seemed bizarre that Robby would write her up at all, but especially given that it was basically symbolic at this point.

"What?" Jack asked, stunned.

"Yeah. I know it won't do much but I'm thinking about calling UPMC. Her inability to follow orders is a real liability. They should know about it."

"What the hell are you talking about," Jack pressed, suddenly irate that Robby's long time conflict with Samira would rise to the level of interfering with her career even beyond the pitt.

"Look, I know you have a soft spot for her. I get it. But you need to stop with the blatant favoritism. I told her to do a simple x-ray today, and she flat out told me no and pawned it off to Langdon. When I pressed her on it, she told me to take it up with you. She was way out of line, man," Robby chastised.

Jack's blood threatened to boil, all reason abandoned at the thought of Robby putting both Samira and the baby in jeopardy like that, at the thought of him threatening her future for refusing. The unbridled rage he felt in that moment was the only explanation he could offer for what followed.

He only had the forethought to stifle his volume so it was lower than a shout. "You're willing to cost my pregnant girlfriend her future for refusing to expose herself to radiation? Have you lost your fucking mind?"

All color drained from Robby's face, his eyes going wide in horror.

"Samira's pregnant?" was all he managed to eek out.

"Yeah. She is. About 16 weeks," Jack answered, trying to compose himself, clenching and unclenching his fists at his side. "So she has no business being in a room where an x-ray is being performed."

"Why didn't she just say that?" Robby asked perplexed, still motionless with surprise.

"Why didn't she disclose private medical information to a superior with a history of treating her like an unwanted liability? Gee, Mike, I fucking wonder," Jack spat in disbelief. Robby could really be a dumb son of bitch. “Why didn’t you think about for one fucking second why a thirty year old woman might say no to being in a room with radiation?”

"I don't–"

"She had a panic attack and you asked her personal questions surrounded by her coworkers, publicly berated her, then told her to go home because you didn't need the fucking liability," Jack reminded him. He'd been stewing on that particular incident for nearly a year. "I can't even imagine what you would have said to her if she'd told you about this."

"This is different," Robby argued.

"Damn right it is," Jack agreed.

"What if she gets stuck with a needle or hit in the stomach by a drunk patient? I need to know these things," Robby argued.

Robby casually throwing out the now ubiquitous subject of his nightmares did nothing to stifle his unrest. "You think I'm not aware of the risks? It's the only thing I've talked about in therapy for two months. But Samira knows. Dana and Langdon are looking out for her."

Robby's scoff was pointed. "You trusted Langdon with this and not me? Langdon?"

"I didn't trust Langdon with it. Samira did. And I trust Samira," Abbot countered.

Something in Jack's expression must have warned Robby off of criticizing Samira's judgement because he just pursed his lips and pinched the bridge of his nose like he was reserving criticism.

"So Samira is pregnant. And it's yours? I mean, I didn't even know the two of you were...dating? Sleeping together?" Robby hedged.

Jack straightened his posture. If he was going to do this, he'd do it right. "Together. We're together. Have been for around seven months."

"And you're sure?" Robby asked dubiously.

Abbot's long tamed temper simmered below the surface at the implication. "Sure about what, Robby? And I want you to tread very carefully while remembering that I am combat trained."

Robby's face blushed scarlet as he rushed to clarify. "No I wasn't—I didn't mean that you weren't the—Just. You're sure you want to go through with this? It's a lot to digest," Robby explained.

"I'm sure about Samira. 100%. If she'd wanted to terminate, I would have written her a scrip. But she wants this. And so do I. Maybe more than I've ever wanted anything." Jack felt defiant, almost itching for Robby to pick the fight, but he didn't.

"Then I'm happy for you, brother. Really. I am. I just wish you'd have told me," Robby shrugged.

"I told her I wouldn't say anything. She said it was fine if I wanted to tell you as my friend, but she wasn't going to tell you as her boss," Jack said with a shrug, almost apologetic but not quite.

"So why didn't you?"

He'd warred back and forth on whether or not to tell Robby, but he always landed against it. "Didn't feel like mine to tell. She's the one going through this. She's the one people would treat differently. Not just for being pregnant. Most people have already guessed there's something between us, present company excepted. You're not particularly observant."

"No. Even I picked up on that. I just thought she'd have better sense than to–"Abbot leveled a look at Robby that was borderline violent. "I just meant–"

"That was also part of it. You'll find any reason for things to be her fault. She's a good doctor. Great, actually. Even if you don't see it. I didn't want it to be another reason for you to treat her like a liability instead of how she deserves."

Robby didn't get a chance to defend himself because Samira walked up at that moment, though without acknowledging Robby's presence. She looked exhausted, hair spilling out of a clip, a faint purple coloring her under eyes, but even as tired as she clearly was, even under hospital fluorescents, she looked radiant. He had to physically restrain himself from pulling her into his chest.

She looked up at him expectantly. "I take it from the tension coming off you in waves that Robby knows?"

"Yeah. Cat's out of the bag. I'm really sorry, sweetheart. It wasn't intentional. My uhhh—temper got the better of my restraint," he explained.

"It was bound to happen eventually," she shrugged, face already taking on the steely resolve he hated to see on her features.

"You should have told me, Mohan." It was an admonishment, but admittedly, a much gentler one than Robby usually managed with Samira.

"It's not your fucking business. And in less than two months, we won't be your problem anymore," she dismissed. She really had come a long way in not taking Robby's criticism to heart—something Abbot privately attributed to a total lack of respect remaining for her should-be mentor.

"You think I'd treat you like a problem over this?" Robby asked, hurt weaving its way through his tone.

"You already treat me like a problem. I'm fucking used to it. What I won't let you do is treat her like a problem," she retorted, hand coming to rest on the small bump she was still able to easily conceal in baggy scrubs. "You don't get to treat her the way you treat me. Ever. Even if she can't understand it yet. You don't get to make her feel the way you made me feel."

Abbot felt pride swell in his chest. He was proud of her standing up for herself, amazed by the way she already stood up for their daughter. Proud that her tone was not petulant or defiant, but almost condescending. She did not see Robby as an authority here. She wouldn't give him that power over either of them.

"I wouldn't–" Robby rushed to defend. "Samira, I'm sorry if you feel–"

"I swear to god, Robby," Samira breathed, clearly trying to check her temper that was biting at the best of times but seemed to have a hair trigger since Jack had gone and knocked her up. "If you apologize for my feelings, I will scream."

"I was just trying to–" Robby began, but Samira immediately cut him off with a sharp look.

"Try harder."

"I guess I'm just hurt that you kept this from me. Jack's my best friend. I do apologize for making you feel like it's something you couldn't or didn't want to share with me. Whatever tension there is between the two of us, I hope you know that I really am happy for you. For both of you," he pleaded, and for a moment, Jack saw a glimpse of his best friend, of who he could be.

"It may shock you to learn that I don't actually care if your feelings are hurt about my pregnancy," Samira answered, and Jack did not begrudge her.

"Right," Robby nodded, looking cowed.

"Jesus fucking Christ. How am I four months pregnant and both of you are having your big feelings. Just show him, Jack," Samira instructed with a sigh.

"You mean–"

"I know you have it on you. Just show him," she pushed.

Jack grinned from ear to ear. Samira had not had much of a reaction to the ultrasound. "I see ultrasounds ten times a day," she'd explained with a shrug. "It may as well be a kidney."

Despite decades of more of it than she’d seen, Jack had been entranced immediately–had carefully folded up the pictures and stowed them in his wallet.

Jack reached into his pocket and carefully extracted the shiny prints handing them to Robby with a look he hoped conveyed just how precious this was to him.

Robby seemed to understand, taking it delicately, looking between the pictures and Jack and Samira and back. "So this is—You said it's a girl?"

Samira's face softened. "Yeah. She's due in September," Samira acknowledged.

"And have you decided, I mean. Will you get married? Are you going to live–" Robby began.

"Again. Not your business," Samira reminded him but with no real bite to it. There was a diamond and emerald ring in Jack's sock drawer that he knew Samira was pretending not to know about, and he'd already added her name to his trust, to the deed on his house.

"Right. Of course," Robby agreed with a clear of his throat. "Well, going forward if there are things that you don't feel like, you know, given you're, I mean–" he stuttered his way through.

Samira rolled her eyes. "See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. I'm fine. I can exercise judgement. Don't preemptively bench me. I will bench myself when necessary. I have no problem telling you no."

"Clearly," Robby answered with pursed lips.

Jack smiled privately to himself at hese stubborn, temperamental people he loved so much. Samira, in a lot of ways really was the best of Robby, something neither of them liked to dwell on.

"But um. Are you going to tell people or–" Robby asked gently.

"I'm not anticipating it staying a secret much longer now that you know. No offense but you're not exactly uhhh... subtle. Perlah will smell blood in the water the first time you blush and look at me sideways. So. It's fine. It’s gonna happen eventually," she dismissed.

Dana chose that moment to give up the charade that she hadn't been eavesdropping for the entire conversation. She leaned across the desk. "Nah. Perlah already knows. Which means Princess knows. Which means everyone knows. Well, now that Robby knows ,everyone know."

Jack barked out a laugh before he could restrain it but Samira just looked at Dana confused. "Why has no one said anything to me?"

Dana just shrugged. "I rule with an iron fist. We wanted you to be able to tell Robby on your own terms," she offered. Jack was grateful for Dana's incurable need to mother her babies. "But it looks like Abbot screwed the pooch on that one."

Jack threw his hands up in apology. "Have I mentioned I'm sorry?"

"Yeah. You mentioned. Make it up to me by driving me home. I'm tired of this place and also this conversation and if I can't have a glass of wine, I would at least like to watch something stupid with my feet up," Samira reasoned, but the expression she directed to Jack was so clearly loving that Jack just chuckled, finally wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close.

"Deal, baby. I can do that," he promised.

"Can we uhh–" Robby tried, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "Can we grab a beer soon? I think I owe you a drink."

Jack smiled. "Yeah man. I'm off again Thursday."

"Thursday it is," Robby agreed. "Good night, Samira. And congratulations again."

"Sure," Samira answered, clearly already checked out. "And thank you, Dana," she added before clasping Jack's hand and pulling him in the direction of the exit.

"Any time, kid," Dana called out as thye walked through the doors.

They walked to the car in silence, holding hands and Jack could tell from Samira’s dragging feet that the day had truly taken it out of her. When they reached Jack’s Jeep, he walked her to the passengers side and opened the door, offering his hand which she took with an indulgent smile before sliding into the car. 

Her objections that his insistence on opening doors for her was actually covert chauvinism had lessened with the pregnancy, as she found it increasingly difficult to load her tired body into the car herself. 

Jack walked around the car and climbed in, starting the engine before looking over at Samira. 

“So…” he began gently. “Robby knows.” 

“It would seem so,” she agreed. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted. A little annoyed? A little relieved?” she asked, apparently unsure of her own emotions which wasn't uncommon. “I don't know. It was bound to happen eventually. You like to talk too much. Now you can at least quit avoiding him.” 

“I wasn't avoiding him!” Jack protested weakly. 

“Yeah. You were. And I appreciate it. But just because things are complicated between me and Robby doesn't mean you don't love him. He's your friend. You should spend time with him,” she allowed. 

“I’d rather spend time with you,” Jack hedged. He did love Robby, but all the ways that Robby had beaten Samira down had taken a toll on the way he saw his oldest friend. 

“Well, lucky for you, we live together,” she teased. She was the smartest person he knew. He would have thought that by this point, the look of her getting one up on him would no longer elicit a response, but he still felt pride and longing pull at his chest. 

“It is lucky for me,” he agreed, before taking a deep breath. 

“So ,Robby was as weird about the ultrasound pictures as you are,” she said apropos of nothing. 

“I’m not weird about them,” he argued. 

“A little bit, you are, yeah.”

He struggled to put it into words, but for Samira, he’d do his best.

“You get to have her with you all the time. It’s a piece of her I can keep with me when I have to be away from you. Both of you,” he explained. 

“You really are appallingly sweet sometimes,” she allowed. He was definitely the more sentimental of the two of him. Feelings didn’t come easy to her; she wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of tenderness. He was still working on that. 

“Yeah. But you love me anyway,” he answered with a shy smile. 

“God help me, but I do.”

“So, people know,” he said on an exhale. Truly, it really was a relief. 

She shrugged. “Apparently they have for a while now.”

“Is it bad that I’m a little sad that it’s not just ours anymore,” he asked, considering the months during which they’d shared this perfect, beautiful secret. To be the person Samira trusted was intoxicating. 

“She’ll always just be ours, honey,” she answered contently. 

“Yeah, but you know what I mean,” he countered. 

“I do. But I have something to show you. Something just for you and me,” she agreed, unbuckling her seatbelt and scootching to the middle of the bench seat. 

Jack’s eyes widened. It was well maintained, but the Jeep was old. “Baby, there’s no airbags in the middle, you can’t–”

“Yes. I know. Calm down, you tremendous fucking dork,” she chuckled, taking his hand in hers. 

She placed it flat on her belly. Jack’s hand found its way there often, soothing Samira. Talking to his daughter. For a moment, nothing happened, 

But then he felt it—a delicate thump through the fabric of her scrubs. Jack’s eyes shot to Samira’s face, but he kept his hand in place. Another thud bumped against his palm. It was like the world stopped on its axis. So much better than the picture he kept in his wallet. 

“Is that—” he tried in disbelief. “Is she–”

“Kicking, yeah,” Samira supplied, deep brown eyes not leaving his. “It was just a flutter at first but today, while I was stitching up a head lac, I felt it for real.”

“What does it feel like for you,” he asked, rubbing circles, trying to feel the touch of his daughter again. 

Her eyes went wide. “Strange. Like it’s a part of me and not me all at once.”

“Is that a metaphor?” 

She hummed softly. “For parenting? Maybe, yeah. It’s also the very real experience of someone banging on your abdomen from the inside. It’s kind of terrifying.”

“Dana said something today,” he remembered suddenly. 

“Yeah? What was that?” she asked, clearly intrigued. 

“That scared means you’re ready,” he repeated. 

“Oh god. That can’t be true, can it?” she asked in horror. “I’m so ready to not be scared anymore.”

“I think it’s scared from here on out, baby,” he countered, wrapping an arm around her to pull her close, the sun starting to set around them. 

“Well, as long as you promise to be scared with me, I guess it’s fine,” she reasoned, settling into his side, just breathing deeply, shoulders relaxing beneath him as she placed a hand over where his still rested on her belly. 

“What do you think, sweet girl?” he said softly, looking down between them. “You ready to meet us? I won’t lie to you. The world’s pretty scary. But your mom and I are gonna do our best to make sure you never have to be scared alone.” 

He felt a bump against his hand, then another, both stronger than before. “Hmmm,” Samira sighed. “I think she likes the sound of your voice. Which is a good thing. You know. Considering,” she smirked. 

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. I like to talk,” he admitted. 

“I also like the sound of your voice,” Samira offered. “Maybe she’ll be a talker like you.”

“Oh, I have no doubt she’ll be very convincing,” Jack replied. 

“What do you mean?” Samira asked, clearly a little confused by his meaning. 

“She’s got a blabber mouth for a dad and a mom I have never once managed to say no,” he reasoned. “I’m gonna give her the world,” Jack vowed, pressing a soft kiss to Samira’s temple. 

Samira brought her other hand to her belly to rest alongside where theirs were still joined. She blinked up at Jack, the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on before smiling. “That makes two of us.”