——————————————————————————————————————————

I

“Reg, your turn! Get in there!”

Regulus’ eyes flew open. He hadn’t even realised he’d dozed off. He stayed perfectly still where he was laying on someone’s— Pandora’s?— lap in hopes no one noticed he’d been asleep for the past fuck knows how long. Where am I? What’s happening? 

Oh right, he’s still at the stupid party Pandora dragged him to. A birthday party for one of her Gryffindor friends that Regulus has spoken to on maybe two occasions, if we’re being generous. He can’t even remember her name or pick her out from a line up, despite her greeting them at the door not even an hour ago (has it been an hour? How long have I been asleep?). Why was he here then, you may be asking. The short answer is that he owed Pandora for a bet. The long answer is Barty and Evan are oblivious wankers and neither of them could make a move without an extensive amount of help from Regulus. Fuck me for thinking their feelings for each other were so obvious, turns out it was only bloody obvious to everyone else but them. 

That brings us to the present, 5:53pm on a Saturday night in the middle of winter break, a gaggle of people strewn around some stranger’s (the birthday girl’s, presumably) decorated living room. Music was floating out of the speakers at a pleasant volume, loud enough to enjoy the song but quiet enough to carry a conversation. Regulus had a streamer braided into his hair courtesy of Pandora, obviously. He had arrived with her, wished the birthday girl (seriously, which one is she?) then proceeded to claim a patch of floor in the corner of the living room for himself. He hasn’t moved since, not to eat, not to socialise, and had evidently fallen asleep sometime after Pandora joined him on the floor and put his head in her lap. The only rule was that he had to accompany her to a social event, she never specified that he had to socialise so he doesn’t even feel bad about falling asleep and letting her fend for herself. Serves her right, using up her favour for something stupid like this. 

He looks around and finds the rest of the party had also sat themselves down on the floor, forming a circle which apparently included Regulus (did they seriously form the circle and integrate me while I was asleep? There’s no way I willingly joined this before I slept). He got up slowly and fucking hoped his hair looked halfway decent. 

“Sorry, what’s going on?” he asks, attempting to keep his voice sounding light and definitely not like he’d just been asleep in the middle of a party. 

“We’re playing spin the bottle and it’s just landed on you” —Regulus’ eyes flick down to the bottle that, fucking hell, was pointing directly at his torso so he couldn’t even throw Pandora under the bus— “so into the closet you go!” The girl speaking was wearing a happy 16th birthday sash. She was grinning wickedly at Regulus as she gestured to the door across the room. 

“Not happening,” he says flatly. “Spin again and leave me out of it.”

“No can do, Baby Black, it’s enchanted. You’re kinda magically bound to the game now,” says a redhead who he recognises as Evans from Gryffindor. While Regulus isn’t very familiar with his brothers’ classmates, Evans is a bit hard to miss on account of James’ massive flaming crush on her, leading him to perform very public declarations of love which even Regulus couldn’t pretend to ignore. 

“What? I didn’t even consent to play though!” Regulus shoots back stubbornly, secretly hoping that was the truth and that he didn’t accidentally forget accepting to play sometime before he had fallen asleep. His gaze lands back on the bottle, inspecting the label and, oh fucking brilliant, its one of those infernal Zonkos products that he’s always got to deal with on his prefect rounds. Chances are they’re not lying and I’ll be the victim of some weird jinx or other if I decide not to play by the rules. Regulus gives a resigned sigh, defeated. 

Evans just shrugs. “That’s how it works Black Junior, you can sit out after you complete your turn though.”

He, incredibly reluctantly and absolutely fucking annoyed, gets up and drags his feet all the way to the closet door. The group is still chatting away as he flings the right closet door open and walks in, only slightly slamming it behind him. He’s not a prude, that's not why he’s annoyed— he has no qualms kissing whichever stranger comes in here to get it over and done with so he no longer has to participate in such trivial games. If he had to kiss Merlin himself for this to be over, he would gladly do it. 

His eyes eventually adjust to the dark closet. At least it was big in here, rectangular and probably large enough to fit an entire single bed. He moves to the right end of the closet, his back pressed to the inner wall to put enough space between him and the unfortunate person who was eventually going to end up in here with him. Why do people even play this stupid game again? 

Fuck Pandora, fuck Zonkos, and fuck this party. 

~

Sirius always insists on being fashionably late, though only to certain events. Being fashionably late to a pub crawl, for instance, is a no go because you’ll miss out on pre drinks and, if you’re too fashionable, miss out entirely on visiting the first pub. Being fashionably late to party, on the other hand, is ideal because you’ll arrive once the party’s in full swing and everyone is ‘tipsy enough to get the sticks out their arses and have some proper fun’, so he says. James never argues, instead letting Sirius dictate when they leave because, aside from being attached at the hip, everyone already knows Sirius’ tendency to show up hours late. In fact, James told him Marlene’s party started at 4:30pm today (it actually started at 5) in an attempt to arrive at least semi on time. 

They arrive right on time it seems (please don’t let that get to Sirius’ head) because everyone was sitting in a circle on the floor, apparently part way through a game of some sort. The pair greet everyone cheerfully (“The life of the party is finally here fuckers! Bow down!”), wishing Marlene a happy birthday and dropping off the presents they’d brought on the dining table. Sirius basically tackles Remus who’s sitting on the floor in between Lily and Mary. They lay on each other, arms already linked (ugh, gag) and James makes a pit stop at the open box of cupcakes, snagging two and heading over to everyone else. 

“What’re we playing?” he asks with a mouthful of cupcake. 

“Spin the bottle,” Mary pipes up. “Come join, we’re about to spin again.”

James looks around the circle at all the familiar faces and decides he wouldn’t really mind kissing anyone in the circle, even the people he’d only consider acquaintances. In fact, ninety percent of the circle was made up of his close friends, of which he’s already kissed more than half through various experiments (Sirius, Remus), dares (Peter, Mary), bets (Lily, Dorcas) and drunken mistakes (Marlene). Remus shuffles over some more and James goes to sit in between him and Lily. 

“Cool, I’m down,” he says, gesturing at them to continue playing. 

He watches as Marlene reaches over and gives the bottle a really good spin. It is obviously enchanted so despite spinning incredibly fast, it stays perfectly in the centre of the circle. Everyone's eyes are glued to the bottle as it eventually slows, landing on James. The group immediately starts giggling. James laughs and reaches over to spin for his partner but Lily grabs his wrist. 

“No need, somebody’s already in there. We spun first right as you arrived,” she says with a smirk, nodding towards the closet door across the room. It’s totally in bad taste for me to ask who’s in there, right? 

“Who’s in there?” James asks anyway. He looks around again, recognising everyone in the circle. He thinks, is someone missing? Who?

“You’ll see,” comes a cryptic response from Marlene. She smirks mischievously and points to the closet, arm fully straightened as if she was a mother banishing her misbehaving child to a time out. 

“Why do you have a closet in your living room?” James blurts out in a poor attempt to stall. Suddenly the prospect of making out with someone without knowing their identity prior was not looking so good. 

“It's a coat closet, you knob, quit stalling and just get in there,” Dorcas giggles, rolling her eyes. 

“Is someone a wee nervous to kiss—“ Sirius cackles but he’s cut off by James.

“Shut up Pads, you know I have charm,” James interjects, doing an over-the-top smoulder and running his hand through his hair.

The group erupts into laughter (with James or at James, he isn’t quite sure) and he crosses the room towards the door. He tries to use his deductive skills to mentally tally his friends and figure out who’s missing from the circle, who’s in the closet? He racks his brain. Surely he’s not that shit a friend enough to forget someone who’s supposed to be here? The groups getting a little louder now, likely growing bored with how fucking long it’s taking James to cross the room. Someone calls “go on loverboy!” and the group once more dissolves into giggles. 

Who in the bloody hell is in there?

Well, when in doubt, a shit ton of confidence and a shit ton of jokes is always the answer. James throws the left closet door open with a startling bang!

“Pucker up babe! Let’s get a-smoochin’,” he calls gleefully into the dark cupboard. 

“Excuse me?” comes an incredulous reply.  

Multiple things happen at once; someone (very excitedly, judging by the force) pushes him into the closet from behind and slams the door shut.  He stumbles into the cupboard and gets a mouth full of lint from barrelling headfirst into a hanging coat, the only one in the closet, which promptly falls to his feet. 

Then he realises: he thinks he recognises that voice. The initial shock of being shoved into a closet was messing with his ability to focus and place the voice. 

Then Sirius, muffled through the now shut closet door, yells “my brother’s in there?!”

Oh. 

That’s why he recognises that voice. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

II

James blinks rapidly in an attempt to make his eyes adjust to the darkness quicker. Fuck my Potter-brand eyesight, he thinks as he squints into the darkness, which was the same amount of dark as before, fuck. He didn’t want to reach his arms out to feel around, lest he accidentally sock Regulus in the face.  Well, that solved the mystery; he had no idea Regulus would be here. I’m not a shitty friend after all, thank Merlin. 

Sirius was still yelling from outside the closet and, by the sound of it, was being physically restrained from approaching the closet. 

“Prongs, if you actually kiss him, I’ll kill you! Don’t forget, I know where you live!” he shouts, his tone half joking and half absolutely serious. “No tongue! Stay above the belt! Stay a meter apart, actually! Are you even listening to me?!”

Even though James couldn’t see it, he could tell Regulus just rolled his eyes. James is grateful for the darkness that was currently concealing the pink tinge on his cheeks. Merlin, why would Sirius say any of that? He really did not need to imagine any tongue or below the belt action with Regulus. Anyway, it’s not like he’s actually going to kiss Regulus. That’s absurd. A kiss on the cheek ought to do it and they’ll both be on their way. 

Don’t get it twisted though, he had nothing against kissing Regulus. In fact, one might say he was inclined to kiss him. Basically, James has a stupid, massive fucking crush on him. Like, a ridiculously massive fucking crush. Since forever. It was a secret desire he’d been harbouring since third year, when he watched Regulus catch the Snitch as a freshly appointed Seeker. It was the first match Regulus had ever played at school and thank Merlin it was against Ravenclaw and not Gryffindor because James would’ve been sitting stationary in midair on his broom, eyes too focused on that blur of green and silver to pay any attention to the Quaffle.

Just his luck, huh? The one person he didn’t want to end up in this situation with, the only person in the universe really, was now standing a meter away from him in some dinky coat closet. Fucking brilliant. 

He never planned to do something as stupid as hitting on him or, Merlin forbid, confessing his feelings (yeah, ‘cause that’d go down brilliantly with Padfoot). No, he just suppresses this part of him to his brain’s equivalent to a dingy cellar, you know, like normal people do. Totally.

All this to say, you can imagine how he feels right now. 

Outside, Sirius is presumably being calmed by the group. The chatter is muffled through the closet door and far enough from them to leave the closet in a palpable silence. James decides he needs to get this moving along. Unsure of what to say though, he takes a moment to think before speaking.  

“I didn’t know you were gonna be here, you’re friends with Marlene?” 

“Who?” 

“Marlene? It's her birthday today? This is her house,” James replies blankly. 

“Oh right, her. The one with the sash.” Regulus blinks from the far end of the closet. James’ eyes have finally somewhat adjusted and he can see they're at least an arms length away from each other. Regulus is fully backed against the wall opposite James and honestly looks like a cornered kitten, it's very endearing. James is all out of confidence now that he’s discovered who he’s supposed to kiss so it’s time to switch back to jokes then, he decides.

“Did someone kidnap you? Why are you at a party when you don’t even know whose house you’re in? Are you being held hostage?”

“Absolutely. Pandora tied me up and literally dragged me here. You can go see the claw marks on the front door for yourself.” 

The image of Regulus tied up and being carried like a sack of potatoes makes its way to James’ brain and he snorts. He’s not sure why but that image stays in his mind, filed away like a receipt into the depths of brain’s filing cabinet. 

“Been a while since you’ve been in the closet huh?” James tries another joke.

To his pleasant surprise, Regulus exhales a little at the joke which is the Regulus equivalent of rolling on the ground laughing. Score! As much as he loves the way Regulus is a little mean to him (no, I do not want to confront that thought), James finds it even more rewarding when he manages to elicit a positive reaction. His stomach swoops a little. He is definitely going to ride this high for a while. 

They descend into silence, letting James’ mind wander back to the problem at hand. Not that he hates sitting in a dark closet with his long-time crush while a party continues outside but James was kind of itching to leave. He understood the rules of the game but didn’t want to make the other boy uncomfortable so he looked for loopholes in the rules so they could give up their turn without technically kissing.

“Hey Reg, sorry if this is weird, it’s definitely weird for me too. If you don’t wanna kiss kiss, maybe I can just peck your cheek and we’ll call it a day?” 

“No.”

“I-I’m sorry?” 

“No kisses of any kind, thanks. I’d rather take my chances with whatever bullshit jinx the game will trigger when we don’t follow the rules,” he clarifies stubbornly. 

James frowns, thinking. He’s doing absolutely nothing without Regulus’ consent so he just nods, reaching to open the closet door. It doesn’t budge. James sighs quietly and knocks on the door loudly enough to be heard over the music playing outside. 

“Hey! You lot! I’m not gonna do anything if Regulus doesn’t want to!” James says loudly. “Whoever’s holding this door shut should move right now before I kick it down!” he threatens, banging on the door a little harder. 

“James, no one's holding the door shut,” comes a suspiciously amused voice. “The closet is linked to the game. It’ll only open once you’ve fulfilled your turn.”

——————————————————————————————————————————

III

James is absolutely shitting himself. 

He tries to back further into the wall, as if he could phase through it with willpower alone. They actually have to kiss to break the stupid fucking enchantment? 

Merlin. Kill me now.  

This is absolutely not how James imagined their first kiss to go. He was hoping for more of a passionate-first-kiss-under-the-stars-after-Regulus-confesses-his-undying-love-to-him-and-proposes-on-the-spot-because-he-can’t-hold-it-in-any-longer type situation. Not that he’s thought about it much. Obviously. 

Well, he’s got to try and fix the situation somehow. James clears his throat. 

“Uh, if it helps, you could kiss my cheek? So you’re, you know, in control, I guess. Sorry again that they’ve put us in such a weird position, and if you absolutely don’t want to then that’s fine too.” 

Regulus was biting the inside of his cheek, staring down at his feet. James can tell he’s weighing his options. James felt like a little school girl, heart hammering in his chest at the prospect of his crush kissing him on the cheek, get a grip! The shorter boy was still standing motionless while all this ran through James’ head. Fuck it, guess we’ll wait until the ‘bullshit jinx’ kicks in, as Regulus put it earlier.

To his surprise though, Regulus silently takes two steps forward so he’s now within kissing distance of James. Trying not to let his surprise (and fresh blush) show, James leans down, closes his eyes and turns his head to the side, giving Regulus full access to his cheek. He counts to five and tries to calm his racing heart. 

Regulus’ lips softly graze James’ cheek, lingering only for a second before pulling away. James quietly let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, his heart thumping way too loudly for the quiet in the cupboard right now. He opens his eyes and, still bent down slightly, finds himself eye to eye with Regulus who was staring right at him. Quick! Do something! he thinks frantically, still making eye contact with him.

He winks and Regulus quickly looks away, clearing his throat. James stretches back to his full height and raises his hand to push the door open. 

It still doesn’t budge. 

”What the fuck?” Regulus whispers and James is inclined to agree. 

“That totally should’ve counted!” James whispers back. He’s not sure why they’re whispering, he’s only doing it to match Regulus. 

Regulus groans. Before James can process what’s happening, the shorter boy reaches up to put one hand on the back of James’ neck, yanking him back down to Regulus’ height. He uses his other hand to grab James’ jaw between his index and thumb then, rather aggressively, forces it to the side again in one swift motion. He presses another kiss, much longer than the first, into James’ cheek. This time there’s undeniable contact, James can even feel Regulus’ nose brushing his cheekbone right next to his ear. The other boy’s breathing is shallow and his pulse is quick, probably because he’s embarrassed, right? 

When Regulus pulls away, James has half a mind of following him to keep the contact for longer. He pulls back though, with thoughts rapid firing through his head at the speed of light. No wait, come back! Do that again! I’ve been in love with you for years! Let’s elope! When you’re being assertive it does things to me–  

Merlin, he really has got to stop letting his thoughts wander. 

His face felt like it was burning in all the places Regulus had just touched; the ghost of his lips, the pressure from his fingers, his hand on the back of his neck. He barely registers that he’s still in the exact position Regulus left him in, leaning down at the shorter boy’s height and staring into empty space with thinly veiled shock.

Regulus, however, had already moved on, pushing the door again and surprise— it still doesn’t move at all. He groans and retreats back to his side of the closet. 

Or, at least he attempts to. 

When he steps backwards without looking, he only manages half a step because his heel knocks loudly into the closet wall. 

“Fucking what?”

He swivels around in disbelief but sure enough, the wall was now way closer to James’ side of the closet than it was previously. 

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Regulus says, sounding slightly panicked. 

James finally comes back to his senses and straightens his back, rising again to his full height. 

Or, at least he attempts to. 

Instead he smashes the back of his head on the ceiling of the closet and groans loudly. 

Someone on the other side of the door goes “ooh, kinky!” and James blushes. Merlin, I will throw everyone at this party into the Great Lake when I get out of here.

“Uh, is it just me or did I grow taller?” James jokes, now permanently crouching slightly, still rubbing the back of his head. He looks up to inspect the ceiling that just assaulted his head and yeah, that definitely wasn’t there before. Previously high enough to accommodate all six feet and two inches of James, the ceiling of the closet currently looked to be just above Regulus’ height. 

Contact with his back makes him snap out of his thoughts – the wall behind him is closing in too and he's suddenly pushed about half a step closer to Regulus.

“The walls move?” James gapes, absolutely flummoxed by this new revelation.  

“What the fuck is wrong with your friends?!” Regulus whisper-yells. 

“Hey guys? Somebody get us out please! The closet’s getting smaller for some reason?” James says loudly, trying not to let his panic seep into his voice.

“I think you’ve exceeded the allotted time to play so it’s just gonna force you now,” Lily calls from the other side of the door, though her voice sounds far away as if they were sitting at the dining table and had moved on to something else. 

Regulus looks up at James with wide eyes as he’s pushed the slightest bit closer to James. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

IV

If the tension was palpable earlier, it was downright suffocating now. The ceiling of the closet was now at half its original height, with both boys now sitting facing each other with their knees drawn into their chests so as to avoid having to stand and crouch. 

Regulus was clearly very uncomfortable. Drawn in on himself as to not touch James, he had a pained, anxious look on his face. His arms grasped around his legs tightly and his chin rested on his knees. 

“Are you alright? Do you need more space? I might be able to move further back,” James says, attempting to shuffle backwards despite already being flush with the wall. Regulus gave a small shake of his head and a painful sigh.

“It’s fine, really, you don’t have to move. I just– I don’t like closets,” Regulus confesses in a small voice. He takes a pause before continuing, a little louder than before. “If you make another stuck in the closet joke I swear I will murder you. With a knife. Painfully.” 

James snorts. Then he pictures him with a knife and immediately regrets it. Why am I blushing right now? At the idea of Regulus stabbing me? Seriously? He tried to clear his mind. Now that they’re at eye level and much closer to each other than before, the last thing he wanted to do was blush and make Regulus even more uncomfortable. 

He doesn’t prompt Regulus to continue his thought because he already knows why the Black brothers are claustrophobic; long nights spent locked in a cupboard without dinner to punish misbehaviour. When James first found out, he accidentally set his bed curtains on fire as his unbridled loathing of Walburga Black caused his first bout of accidental magic in months. Remus had just managed to put the flames out before James accidentally reignited it (Sirius elaborated that misbehaviour meant things like ‘walking too loudly in the house’ or ‘waking up past 6am’). Instead, he tries to think of something to distract Regulus and lighten the strange silence that had lapsed them once more. Merlin forbid he accidentally set something on fire in here. 

“So…  have you had your first kiss yet?”

“First kiss?” Regulus echoes incredulously.  

“Hey, no need to get defensive,” James laughs as he puts his hands up in mock surrender. “I wasn’t implying that you don’t pull.”

“What made you think this was an appropriate topic? This is literally the last thing I want to discuss with you right now.” 

Ouch. James winces. “Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood. I thought it’d be funny, you know, in an ironic way.” 

They descend into silence once more. Regulus huffs and decides to bite. 

“Well if you must know, then yes. I have,” he admits, his voice halfway between embarrassed and defensive still. “I don't need to ask you though. How does Evans feel, with you playing this infernal game?” 

“I’m s-sorry, Evans?” James stutterers, confused. “What about her?” 

Regulus gives him a hard look. “Your girlfriend? The redhead, right? I’ve seen you spew enough very public love declarations to know you’re an item.” 

James’ eyes widen and he stares at Regulus for what seems like an eternity. It’s funny how James had tunnel vision for his friends. He’d never really stopped to think about what his numerous confessions of undying love would look like to the average outsider (though Regulus was anything but average to him). Sure, it was all on purpose but he’d somehow deluded himself into thinking Regulus wouldn’t believe it. That whole show started as a way to get that tosser Snape off Lily’s back; James had no problems pretending to date her on and off if it meant Snape would leave her alone for good. As is the nature of these sorts of things, he’d either lose bets or get dared by the friend group to do increasingly embarrassing and outrageous public stunts, because of course they’d do that to him. Also, he’s got a reputation to uphold, thank you very much, so backing out is never an option. Regulus, sensing he’d misspoken somehow, frowns back and waits for James to explain the absolutely shocked look on his face. 

“Merlin no, Lily and I aren’t a thing, never have been and never will be. All those stupid stunts were the results of lost bets or dares, courtesy of my idiot friends who love to watch me embarrass myself in front of everyone.”

“But, everyone thinks you’re together. You do know that right?” Regulus tilts his head and cocks an eyebrow. It’s adorable and James hates that it makes his heart jump a little. 

“That’s on purpose too, to deter that git Snape from trying to move to Lily again. For the millionth time. It's really making her uncomfy. I love Lily, would do anything for her, truly, but I could never date her,” James clarifies, his voice getting quieter as the sentence progresses. He’s getting closer to admitting the reason he could never date Lily and he really didn’t want it to come to that. It was already mortifying to be stuck in a closet with your crush, even worse to admit you’re also metaphorically stuck in the closet to your crush.

“Why not?”

“Well, I guess because.. You know, I kinda… well–”

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to, I’m just making conversation. I don’t know Evans but she seems scary and you definitely couldn’t bag someone as smart as her,” Regulus interrupts, clearly sensing James’ discomfort. For some reason though, the free pass Regulus was giving him made him feel like he should just tell the truth.  

“Firstly, you’re so wrong, I could totally bag someone as smart as her, smarter even. Secondly, I like boys. Only. Exclusively.” James rushes the second sentence in hopes Regulus would somehow just not hear it. He stares down, picking at a loose thread on the knee of his jeans to avoid eye contact with Regulus.

“What?!” Regulus blurts out, flabbergasted. James’ eyes flick up to look at his face and he has the decency to dampen his shocked expression in a split second, schooling it into an expression of polite neutrality instead. “I never would've guessed,” Regulus says, with an amused twinge to his voice. 

“Not that I was guessing,” he adds hastily when James fails to say anything more. “I just meant it in more of a “wow, James announces his love for some girl daily, he must definitely like girls then’ way.”

“Well, that's exactly why I can’t tell anyone yet. If people knew, specifically Snape, they’d know Lily and I were lying about the whole thing and he’ll probably start bothering Lily again, the tosser.”

“That’s not really fair to you though. Wouldn’t you want to be out so you can date, for real?” Regulus’ expression is soft and his voice is low, looking at James with a concerned look. He has the urge to cup his face and brush his thumb on Regulus’ cheek to reassure him.  

“Oh it’s no problem for me,” James waves his hand dismissively to keep his hand from reaching over to the other boy. “The only person I want to date would never date me in a billion years… so I don’t really mind.” He shrugs in an attempt to be nonchalant about it. 

He’d never gotten verbal confirmation of this per se; he was just going off their interactions, probability, meticulous observations of what Regulus’ type may be and James’ inability to ever confess to him. 

“Oh.”

His short response makes James look back up again to clock the almost pained expression on the other boy's face. 

“Hey, no need to be sad on my behalf, I’ve come to terms with it. It’d be embarrassing if I had a crush this long and not acknowledged the fact that we’d never date,” James jokes lightly in hopes he can ease Regulus’... discomfort? Pity? James couldn’t quite put a name to the expression he was still wearing. 

Regulus scowls. “I’m not sad on your behalf, you idiot. Forget it. Can we talk about something else now?” he snaps, though with no actual malice in his voice. 

“Yeah, like how the fuck we’re gonna get out of here,” James jokes, though still baffled at Regulus’ abrupt topic switch. 

“Look, whatever it is, I don't want to kiss you.”

James’ heart jumps to his throat. So much for ‘no verbal confirmation’. He doesn’t know why it hurts so bad, like his throat was constricting. The shorter boy’s proximity was absolutely not helping either. Sure, Regulus’ had spent this whole time denying kisses but he’d never hinted that the real issue was kisses from James specifically. James knew Regulus didn’t like him, he literally just said it, yet hearing it aloud was like a dagger to the heart (and not the sexy kind), like saying it had made it a real, tangible thing.  

As if some deity was pointing and laughing at James, the walls decide to push them even closer together, their legs now making full contact. James’ blush was radiating and probably visible from the moon. At least Regulus has the decency to pretend not to notice…? James looks to check but Regulus is hiding his face in his knees.

Still looking down, Regulus exhales deeply. “Soon we’re not going to have any space left. Move your legs this way.” 

He looks up and puts a gentle hand on James’ leg. Regulus then gets up on his knees and lets James extend his legs under him. He shuffles forward with a knee on either side of James’ thighs. With the taller boy's silent permission, he settles down to sit on said thighs. He proceeds to place his forehead on James’ shoulder with a soft sigh. 

James’ brain was blissfully blank. All previous depression was out the window. The combination of the younger boy's weight on him and his breathing so close to his face was sending his heart into overdrive. Don’t panic, don’t panic. Sure, my crush is straddling me right now but I’m extremely calm about it. Don’t panic! 

James must have been way too quiet because Regulus broke the silence this time. 

“I’m sorry you got stuck in here with me, the one person who didn’t want to play this stupid game,” he apologises softly, eyes still closed with his forehead on James’ shoulder.  

“It’s not a big deal, right? We just need to get this over with so we don’t get crushed in here.”

“It’s not actually going to hurt us, it’s just some gimmicky game sold to first years. We just have to reach its minimum size and it’ll let us out.” He pauses. “Well, probably anyway.”

“How certain are you? It doesn’t sound like you’re very sure.” 

Logically, it made sense. Obviously it wouldn’t harm them. There’s no way it’d be a trademarked product otherwise, being sold at joke stores to children across the nation. If we’re speaking honestly though? James couldn’t take it much longer. He was starting to sweat and every time Regulus made even the slightest movement James had to bite the inside of his cheek to distract himself. He was sure the younger boy could feel the heat radiating off his body. He needed to get out of here and fast. Screw a romantic first kiss, he could still get out of here with his sanity intact. 

“I know you said no kisses. I’m sorry for bringing it up again but really, it doesn't even have to be for a second.” James hates that he sounds like he’s begging but he was getting a little desperate.

“James, seriously, quit it.” Regulus shifts a little, clearly annoyed. It sends a new wave of desperation through James who just needs to get the fuck out of here. 

“We’ve both kissed other people before.”

“That’s not the issue.” 

“Just one kiss, doesn't even have to be for a second.”

“No.”

“I’m really sorry I keep asking but I would like to get out of here like, right now. Did I do something wrong? What’s wrong?”

“Aside from the fact that we’re stuck in a closet and my only way out is to kiss you?” Regulus asks sarcastically. He pauses and James is surprised when the next few words come out as a quiet mumble. “I really can’t tell you why, but… I just can’t kiss you. It’s not your fault, and you did nothing wrong. I just don’t want to, all right? I just can’t.”

Ouch. If James wasn’t singularly focused on getting them out of here, he’d be profoundly hurt by that, as he was earlier when Regulus specified the problem was him. This time is a little different though and he isn’t sure why. It feels as if an eternity passes in silence. It gives James the time to stew in what the other boy just said. 

“Can’t, or don’t want to?” James asks, curious.

“Pardon?” 

“You said you can’t kiss me. Then you said you don’t want to. Those are two different things.”

“Semantics. Either way, I’m not going to kiss you.” 

“It’s just a kiss,” James says weakly. “Ignore that it's me! It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“What if I want it to mean something,” Regulus whispers, barely audible. 

What.

James' immediate thought was that he’d misheard, despite Regulus literally whispering it directly into his ear. His heart was already beating like a fucking jackhammer, any faster and he was certain he’d explode. 

“P-pardon?”

“Fuck, please don’t make me say that again,” Regulus mumbles.

Really the only thing James can do is stare at the wall. There is absolutely no way I'm interpreting that correctly. I’ve been pining for way too long and it’s affecting the way I perceive things, right? Slowly, he takes Regulus’ shoulders and gently pries him off, sitting him back upright and forcing him to face the taller boy. He’s blushing like crazy and looking anywhere but James’ face which only adds fuel to his suspicions. Regulus finally makes eye contact and James’ heart stops for a second – he looks so embarrassed, it makes James’ eyes widen further. I cannot fucking believe this, Regulus likes me back?

Regulus, clearly nervous to be the subject of James’ continued unabashed staring, stutters out some words that James was honestly barely registering. 

“I know it’s r-really unfair of me to just say that when have that whole thing with Evans so you can’t come out and you're obviously in love with someone else–”

“What the fuck,” James breathes. “You… you like me?”

“I’ve been liking you. It seems you’re very oblivious ‘cause Pandora noticed my crush the second it started,” Regulus admits, blush radiating like a heater. 

“And when was that?” James asks weakly. Regulus stares.

“No comment.” He pauses for a beat and tilts his head, thinking. “But if we’re being serious then, at the start of second year.”

“What the FUCK?!” James couldn’t believe what he was hearing. They’ve liked each other the entire time James has had this crush? They could’ve been together since third year if he had the balls to actually ask? What. The. Fuck.

“You're telling me… we could have been together this whole time?” James all but yells. 

Regulus blinks. “What… what are you saying right now?” he asks slowly. “Am I stupid or are you saying…” He trails off, staring into James’ wide eyes. 

“But, you said you liked someone else? ‘For years’?” Regulus quotes James back to himself. He’s sitting absolutely still and James could practically see the puzzle pieces fitting together in his head. James smiles shyly, cupping the other boy's face in his hands. 

“You idiot, it's always been you–” 

Regulus cuts him off by closing the gap between them, their lips meeting gently. It was a short, chaste kiss and when he pulls away, they both look at each other absolutely dumbstruck. James’ hands are still on the shorter boy’s face, brushing a lock of hair that had come loose. 

“How were we both the exact same amount of oblivious?” Regulus breathes, amused. 

“Made for each other,” James winks and moves forward for another kiss. 

The closet had sprung back to its original size the second their lips made contact the first time but the two boys stayed in the exact same position, honestly not even realising the closet had reset itself.

They were a tad… distracted. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

V (Bonus chapter)

~meanwhile, outside the closet~

“We should let them out, it’s mad to force them to kiss in there!” Sirius exclaims, right after James threatens to kick the door down. He was pacing around the dining table where Marlene had set up a new game for them to play while waiting for two boys to finally leave the closet– no pun intended, of course.

“The game takes into account consent, idiot. If Regulus, or James, were truly unconsenting it never would’ve trapped them in there.”

“So,” Sirius continues carefully. “What you mean to say is… is that both of them want to kiss?”

“They’re willing to. Again, if they truly didn't want to, the door would have opened by now.”

“Time for James to confess his undying love for real this time,” Lily snickers. A ripple of giggles passes through the table. Sirius turns dramatically to face the table.  

“No, Evans, not funny. There will be no confessions of love here tonight. They should just kiss to escape and I’ll forgive it this once.”

“How do you know there won’t be any confessions tonight? Wanna bet on it? Wanna make me a couple hundred galleons richer?” Marlene shoots back, shuffling cards on the table without looking up to see Sirius’ irked expression. 

“Why is everyone acting like this is a normal thing to say? Why are you so confident? This hypothetical ‘confession’ is the least likely thing to happen on the planet and if I’m wrong, I’ll eat Merlin’s saggy pants.” 

“Because, you knob, they've both had ridiculously obvious crushes on each other for ages.” Lily pauses theatrically, putting her pointer finger on her chin to convey deep thought. “Well, obvious to everyone besides them, and you I guess.”

Sirius stares at her gobsmacked. The dining table is silent, probably waiting for him to blow a fuse, accidentally break a glass or something. He looks around at everyone suspiciously avoiding eye contact with him, including Remus.

“Moony? You- you knew? You knew and you never told me? What the fuck.” Sirius’ mouth was agape. “This is actually betrayal.” 

“Not to sugar coat things, love, but you’re practically blind when it comes to matters of the heart,” Remus shrugs and places a card down into the growing pile in the middle of the table.

“Take that back! I’m romantic as fuck,” Sirius gasps, hand to his chest, affronted. 

“Yes, but realistically how did you miss that James talks about him non stop and his eyes always follow Regulus whenever he enters the ro–” 

“Merlin, what are you talking about! I think I’d notice if my own best friend had a thing for my brother!” 

“Clearly not, he’s always vying for Regulus’ attention and making eyes–”

“Making eyes!?” Sirius repeated, scandalised. “Stop right there, I’m going to vomit everywhere.” 

Pandora decides to intervene. “If it helps, Regulus doesn’t shut up about him either.”

“No, thanks, Pandora. That doesn’t help at all.” Sirius groans, then groans louder when he sees money being exchanged around the table. “You’ve all been betting on whether Regulus likes him back? This is so unethical!” 

“No, most of us assume he does. This was specifically about the talking-about-James-non-stop thing.” Mary clarifies.

Sirius looks around the table, surveying all the people he thought were his friends. He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, trying to fathom how he missed such a big (and in hindsight, obvious) development. No one else is even batting an eye though.

Defeated, he sits down begrudgingly and is promptly dealt a hand of cards. Whatever.