Chapter Text
Mark bolted awake in a panic, the loudest noise he had ever heard blasting through his room. He couldn’t fathom anything being this loud in his apartment—was something going on outside? As he got out of bed, finding the source of the earsplitting sound was the only thing on his mind, so it took a moment for him to notice that other things were very wrong. His shirt was too tight, and something bright green was poking out the back of his sleep pants, but he could only focus on finding the source of the noi-there! Wait, why was his phone’s alarm so loud this morning? Why was everything else still so loud after stopping the alarm? Why did his shirt feel so tight, and what was that green thing moving around behind him…
“WHAT THE FUCK?!”
- - -
Right. It was March 3rd, Transformation Day. The Three Goddesses had announced two weeks ago that they would change anyone who truly wanted to be an umamusume into one today. Why was Mark an uma?! He had zero interest in being a girl, uma or otherwise. He wasn’t a “manly man,” but he had always felt comfortable in his masculinity. Had the Three Goddesses made a mistake? Was there any way to contact them to try to change back?
How many of his friends and family were umas now, if even he had been changed against his will?
Mark supposed he should take stock of the full situation before he started spending time checking on other people who were probably busy dealing with the same shock he was. First order of business, the mirror; he hadn’t properly examined his new form, and didn’t know what to expect. The first thing he saw was messy lengths of green hair, reaching his lower back at their longest points. At least he would fit in with other umas after some hair care—green wasn’t a natural color for humans, but he knew umas could have any hair color, and saw plenty of other unusual ones from the umas he interacted with daily. Focusing on features, his new eyes were wide, with red irises, and looking up a bit, his ears were average-length, with tufts of lighter green and white fur on the inside. Looking down to the rest of his body, his new form was undeniably that of a woman, and he would need to contact some friends and family for help with shopping for delicates. (If this had happened to him, how many of his male friends were in the same boat today?) At least nothing about his new assets seemed unmanageable, and he could wear a hoodie and sweatpants (wait, what about the tail? maybe cut a hole?) to leave the house until he could procure appropriate clothing. His height seemed unchanged, and for a change, he was satisfied with being 5’6”; he had never been happy about his height as a man, but he had heard enough horror stories from the taller girls he hung out with on his Corner 1 trips and in Umacord to know how hard clothes shopping could be for someone even a couple inches taller than him.
With his new form fully examined, Mark looked at his phone. Only 8:20, still plenty of time for his morning before work…right, how was that going to work? He had opted to pick up some extra hours today to allow a friend and coworker who was expecting her transformation this morning to adjust and enjoy her new body, but what was he supposed to do now? Call in and say “hey Steve, I know I told you I'd work Rhianne's shift today, but now I’m an uma and I've got to deal with that”? He didn’t even want this! Wait, actually, how was Rhi doing? She had transformed too, right? He knew a few other coworkers had been discussing Transformation Day, but Rhi had practically become a different person overnight after the Three Goddesses’ announcement. And what about Kari, his best friend and Rhi's girlfriend? She had been just as excited about Transformation Day, and had even had a celebration on her JustUmaTV stream a couple of days ago. Should he call one of them? Wait, if they had transformed too, their new ears would be too sensitive too, right? (With how loud everything still was in his room, he would need to remember to add ear covers to his shopping list.) Mark decided Rhi would be more likely to be awake this early, and thinking a text should be safe enough, he typed up a short message, not surprised by the prompt response:
Rhianne
Rhi, are you up yet? It’s Transformation Day!
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you able to answer a phone call? Are your ears adjusting alright?
Sure, go ahead!!!
Mark started the call, and held the phone up to his ea-wait, right, no ear there anymore. He quickly put the call on speaker and lowered the volume, just in time to hear an extra-bubbly Rhi on the other end.
“Hello? Good morning, Mark!” Her voice was a good bit higher than usual, but she otherwise sounded as cheerful as she had every time Mark had talked to her for the last two weeks.
“Good morning, Rhi…” Wait, was that his voice? He hadn’t had time to process that part of the change—his earlier expletive-laden shout was the only thing he had spoken since waking up, but sure enough, his voice was now also quite feminine, though still a good bit deeper than Rhi’s. “I take it you transformed too?”
“Yes, and I love it! You sound sick this morning, though...wait, did you say too? Are you an uma?! I thought you said you weren’t interested!”
“I wasn’t! I’m not! I don’t know what’s going on, but I woke up with green hair and a tail and boobs! Did the Three Goddesses just turn everyone into umas after their whole spiel about only turning those who truly wanted it?!”
“Mark, I know this is tough for you, but calm down. No, they didn’t turn everyone into umas. I woke up the rest of my family by accident after I woke up earlier, and they’re all still humans. I don’t know why you would’ve transformed if you really didn’t want to become an umamusume.”
“Then I have to find out how I can reach out to them or something to get this fixed. I didn’t ask for this and I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with this today. I have to be at work in an hour and a half and my uniform definitely won’t fit now and Goddesses I don’t even have a bra.”
“Just…tell Steve the truth, I guess. Or lie and say you’re sick. What’s he going to do, make you come in anyway?”
“Maybe. He didn’t seem too enthused about this whole Transformation Day thing in the first place, saying the Three Goddesses were a hoax. He might not believe me unless I go there and prove it happened.”
“Tell you what: I’ll grab Kari, we’ll get you some clothes together real quick, and all three of us can go in together. See you in half an hour?”
“Did she transform too, then? Congrats to both of you. At least you two got what you wanted today.”
“Yeah, I called her first thing when I woke up! We were already going to meet up later today so we could show off our new looks on a date, but I’m sure she won’t mind meeting earlier to help you out.”
“Thanks. I’ll see both of you in half an hour. I guess I’ll try to get this hair under control in the meantime?” Mark was thankful he had already kept good care of his hair and had brushes and decent hair products around, but this new volume was on a completely different level from any length he had ever worn before. The old beard care products cluttering his bathroom sink were even more useless now, too, but if he was stuck this way, at least he’d never get beard oil for Christmas again?
“Oh my Goddesses, Mark, I didn’t even think about your care situation! Kari and I bought tail brushes and coat care products already, but I’ll stop on the way there and pick up some for you too. We’ll make sure you look so great Steve can’t help but give you the day off.”
“I still don’t know why I look like this at all, but thanks for the help. See you soon, Rhi,” Mark said, hanging up quickly to avoid even more of a midwestern goodbye.
Now, where to begin with this hair? Mark may take good enough care of his hair already, but keeping men’s hair was so much easier than the mane he saw in the mirror. To make matters worse, he didn’t own any hairties or headbands or, really, anything else he could style his hair with once he was done brushing it out. He supposed he could just wear it loose for now and hope Rhi and Kari had a good idea what to do for him.
As Mark carefully brushed out his hair, he only had one thought on his mind: Why is any of this happening to me?