Work Text:
The upload title had barely been up for a few hours, but it was already climbing:
“Ranking Every Cheese but I’m Lactose Intolerant…”
Edmondx regretted it almost immediately.
By the time the video finished filming, he had already made peace with two things:
1. He should not have eaten that much cheese on camera.
2. His audience was going to never let him live this down.
---
The aftermath hit the next day.
Edmondx was lying on his couch, blanket pulled up to his chest, looking like a man who had fought an invisible war and lost. His phone kept buzzing with notifications—comments, memes, edits of his “cheese ranking reactions,” and at least three fan accounts dedicated to his suffering face.
There was a knock at the door.
“Go away,” he groaned automatically.
The knocking continued.
“I said—”
“Edmond,” came a voice from the other side. “It’s me.”
He paused.
Y/N.
That changed things.
Slowly, he dragged himself up and shuffled to the door. When he opened it, Y/N was standing there holding a plastic bag from a convenience store and looking far too amused for someone pretending to be sympathetic.
“I brought electrolytes,” Y/N said. “And emotional support snacks that are not dairy-based.”
Edmondx blinked. “You’re enjoying this.”
“I’m not enjoying it,” Y/N replied, stepping inside anyway. “I’m observing it. There’s a difference.”
He shut the door behind them and immediately slumped back onto the couch like gravity had doubled.
Y/N sat down across from him, pulling out the drinks and placing them on the table.
“So,” they said, leaning back. “The cheese arc.”
“Don’t call it that.”
“It’s trending.”
“Of course it is.”
A silence settled for a moment, broken only by Edmondx sighing into a pillow.
Y/N glanced at him. “You know… the video was actually kind of funny.”
“That’s not what I want to hear right now.”
“It’s what your audience wants to hear,” Y/N corrected. “Also, I think you traumatized cheddar cheese fans globally.”
Edmondx groaned louder.
Y/N chuckled, then softened a bit. “Hey. You survived it. That’s the important part.”
He peeked out from the pillow. “Barely.”
“You say that like you didn’t willingly rank brie while knowing your stomach would declare war on you.”
“I was committed to the bit.”
“That’s your problem,” Y/N said, pointing at him. “You’re always ‘committed to the bit.’ One day the bit is going to put you in medical retirement.”
“I think I already did that yesterday.”
That got a real laugh out of them.
The sound made Edmondx look up properly this time.
“…Okay,” he muttered. “It wasn’t that bad, right?”
Y/N tilted their head. “The video? Or your dignity?”
“Either.”
“It was chaotic,” they admitted. “But… it was also very you.”
That made him pause.
He wasn’t sure why that felt oddly comforting.
Y/N leaned forward, resting their elbows on their knees. “Also, your chat replay of ‘I regret everything’ is now a soundbite.”
“Of course it is.”
“And I may or may not have saved it.”
“You’re supposed to be my friend.”
“I am your friend,” Y/N said seriously. Then they grinned. “A very supportive one.”
Edmondx let his head fall back against the couch. “Remind me never to trust cheese again.”
“That’s your takeaway?”
“Yes.”
Y/N stood up and tossed him one of the electrolyte drinks. He caught it clumsily.
“For the record,” they added, heading toward the door, “your next video should be ‘ranking lactose-free snacks like a responsible human being.’”
He stared at them. “That’s boring.”
“It’s survivable.”
A beat.
Then Edmondx sighed. “Fine.”
Y/N paused at the door, looking back with a faint smile. “Good. Try surviving for once. Your audience will still be there.”
And then they were gone.
---
Edmondx sat there for a moment longer, staring at the drink in his hand.
His phone buzzed again.
Another comment.
Another meme.
Another reminder of the chaos he had unleashed.
But for the first time since the cheese video, he didn’t feel like hiding under a blanket forever.
“…Next time,” he muttered to himself, “I’m blaming Y/N for the idea.”
From the hallway, faintly, came Y/N’s voice:
“I HEARD THAT.”
And for once, Edmondx actually laughed.