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“Shit!”
“What did you do?”
“I.. I accidentally made one of the sigils too long.”
“And that's what I kept telling you! I told you to not involve yourself with her anymore, yet you kept insisting. I don't understand your obsession with her at all.”
“That's rich coming from you.”
In three years after carving her own path, Agott finally achieves what she's been wanting the whole time. To become one of the four librarians guarding the Tower of Tomes. Since she's new, she's been insisting to take extra time in her shifts to be much more familiar with the layout of the tower, and what place she guards. Right now in the dead of the night, she's in her headspace as usual.
Normal people would think being a librarian is boring, but Agott doesn't really care. It's now her livelihood and she enjoys her job. Even though not many see her smile.
As she walks around, she's still in a bit of awe, her eyes all sparkly. It even felt like she was holding her breath. Her mother, Adina, although.. Didn't really seem surprised. Yet she didn't seem proud, either. Then again, who would want their exiled child back? That thought floods Agott's mind until somebody snaps her out of it, asking where a certain book was.
“..Right. I have the job I've been wanting so long. I should just keep away from her as much as possible.” Agott thought, walking with the fellow witch to the aisle, her mind mixed with self-doubt and happiness.
“You should be able to find it here.” The purple eyed librarian spoke, and the witch nodded and whispered a thanks. With her hands in her robes, she's starting to let floods of doubt stir inside her, until she sees a silhouette walk about in the aisles. An intruder, perhaps? Well, she runs off at it, her instincts firing, she didn't expect to be already on the extremist parts of the job, but to her surprise, she just sees a witch with blond-ish green hair at the counter, and Agott exhales, rounding the counter to where she's usually supposed to be.
Odd. This witch didn't have a hat, in fact, it was mandatory to wear one in order to even enter the library. “Forgive me for being blunt, but where is your hat, miss?” She asks, and the witch in front of her doesn't seem surprised, as she grabs her hat from inside her robes. She even had a smile. A pointed hat, thankfully. Agott was starting to think she was being too loose on the security.
“Sorry. I'm not really used to wearing my hat often. I'm an independent witch, you see.” Seeing the witch secure the hat on her head just makes Agott smile a little from it. “Being friendly counts!” Tetia in her head said. But now looking at it, her clothing looks awfully familiar. She wore something of the likes Master Qifrey would wear as a shirt. A turtleneck longsleeve. Even in the same color too. Nevertheless, she was here to be a librarian, not a fashion eagle.
“Is there any book you'd like assistance with?” With a polite smile, the librarian couldn't help but look at how pretty this witch was. Her features were soft, she was radiating an energy that spoke kindness, and consideration for others.
“Is there anything related to advanced spells?” The witch asks with her hands clasped together, even her smile radiated a lot more charm.
“That's a bit too vague for me. Anything else to add so that I know what you're talking about?” Agott exhales with a smile, this is probably one of the downsides of her job, she fears.
“Something related to fire. I know there's a lot, but I can trust you with it, right?” The tone in her voice made Agott's heart skip a beat. She can't tell if this customer was flirting or that's just her personality. Nevertheless, the librarian just brushes it off and signals the witch to follow.
As they both walked through aisles and aisles of books, the witch was looking all around, seemingly in awe. “It's amazing, right? This library?” Agott Initiates small talk, which is better than being awkward. That was another piece of advice she got from Tetia.
“I can tell you're very passionate about it, Miss..?”
“Agott. Agott Arklaum.”
“Agott. I see. Your name is very pretty, I must say.” Another advancement from this unknown witch was making the poor librarian want to rip out her hair and scream to the world that she's really weak when it came to females.
“How about you, what's your name?” As they finally walk to the fire spells aisle, Agott approaches a row of books in which she grabs a few large books all relating to hard fire spells.
“Coco.”
“Say, have I met you before?” Agott asks, feeling a weird tingling sensation in the back of her neck. She hands the books over to Coco, and the witch just smiles.
“As far as I remember, no.” Coco says that in a tone that spoke something more than just a straight to the point “no”. Yet Agott shrugs it off once again.
To clear the air, Agott double checks on what she got for Coco, and hands it to her. “These books should be a great start. What's the purpose for?” Not only is Agott obligated to guard, help, and guide witches, she has to know their purpose too. This has always been one of the reasons why people regard the library as something very special, and why it's also called the Tower of Memories.
“A fellow witch of mine really used to amaze me with her fire spells. She was astonishing.” Coco smiles, holding the books to her chest. Agott stares a little too much. They smile together and the librarian senses a lot of familiarity, yet she just couldn't place it.
Agott notices a slight pause with herself, so she clears her throat and reminds her inner self to not get too involved with customers.
“..By the way, you can't leave with those books, so I suggest studying them up within the confines of this library.. The Tower has a really nasty spell that'll paralyze you if you try to smuggle out an advanced tome like that.” The librarian says, yet within her mind, she wanted to learn more about this peculiar witch.
“That serious?” Coco laughs heartily, as if she hasn't laughed so genuinely in so long, it didn't offend Agott, no. It made her smile too, even delivering a chuckle of her own.
“I suppose I’ll stay the whole night.” With a smile, Coco finally breaks the fit of laughter, a finger wiping away an imaginary tear. “It's not that I mind staying up.. I just can't sleep at night, so I use the time to recalibrate what I need to learn. So don't worry about little old me.” As if Coco could read Agott like a book, her penchance for slightly flirting with the librarian seems to work wonders, as Agott has a tint of red on her face.
“..I see. Well then, there are a few tables near the counter, if you'd like to study there.” She then suggests, in which Coco smiles cheekily,
“Near the counter? Are you scared I'll steal one of these books? Or are you suggesting that because you want to stare at me?” Once again, Agott averts her gaze almost immediately, adjusting the sleeve of her robes, trying to calm herself about how easily she could unravel.
“Gosh, she's so easy to fluster.” Coco thought and chuckles internally, letting it be and walking past Agott, in which she then says:
“I suppose that's fair. Librarians shouldn't trust every wandering witch they meet.” Coco says with a cheeky tone, and Agott fixates back into her normal self, calming down and following the witch, a few steps behind.
It was odd, seeing Coco in her element. The way the moonlight shone on her face, a focused one at best, was something oddly reminiscent of somebody Agott “used” to know.
Sometimes, the witch would catch the librarian staring, and give her a smile, in which Agott slides her way out of it by burying herself in her notebook. A journal, for the lack of a better word.
Agott isn't shy. She doesn't do that. Agott doesn't fluster easily. So what the hell was happening that was making that happen so easily?
She practically confides in her journal, the scritch-scratching of her pen almost ripping the paper in doing so. She writes what she thinks back-to-back, with the key date distinguishing what main thoughts were written that day.
Take November 5th for example:
I had a dream. As usual, it was like I was living in a colorless world. The same girl appears, the one who never shows her face. She just grabs my hand and drags me with her through a sunny wheat field. Who is she? What is her purpose? Will my other dreams finally give me an answer?
Maybe even October 9th, a somewhat unfiltered and aggressive rant:
These dreams are fucking with my head. Every time I wake, I feel like a part of me was ripped off my body in the cruelest way possible. She doesn't talk. And even if I force her to look at me, her face is covered with flowers. I ask and I ask and I ask, but she doesn't give me shit. Now everyday, I sometimes wish I never woke up, because in that realm that I'm always in? It's my solace. It makes me comfortable. And I fear that if I keep waking up with a massive hole in my chest, I'd never forgive myself for not finding the sole reason why.
Take an observational take from May 25th:
Today, she led me to a cottage. As we entered, there was a cupcake in the middle of the kitchen table. A candle was on it, and I realized that today might have been her birthday. I greet, and she just grabs two flower wreaths from a drawer, and puts one on me. She hands me the other, in which I put it on her head. I never really cared much before, but her hair never changed. It has always been a bob cut. She then grabs my hand, signalling me to blow the candle for her. I do, since she doesn't really have a face to begin with. But dream-me lit the candle up again, and for some reason, the girl just let go of my hand and clapped the flame away. Was she mad? I could only watch. Even if dream-me did anything, it'd have no effect in real life.
Enough of the past, we go back to the present, as Agott puts her pen down, her gaze almost immediately looking at the witch, who was already at the third book the librarian recommended. Just how long was she in her headspace? As for today's nightly journal before she clocks out and dreams of whoever she was yearning for, it reads as follows.
Independency doesn't suit this witch. She looks like the type to take care of apprentices, and it gave me a shiver down my spine knowing how well she could unravel the walls in my heart so easily with her words. She's a charming person, and that's probably the reason why I don't think she's suited being a wandering witch on her own. She deserves company, and the more that I stare at her, the more that I see battered, unbreakable walls deep inside. Could this be..? But no. It couldn't be. There's a lot of witches that I know have bob haircuts. It's a popular style lately, and it could just be anyone. There's nothing really distinguishable about her. Besides the fact that she's a pretty lady who seems to be very good at magic. Apart from the turtleneck, I don't think anything else is weird about her.
Before Agott knew it, Coco approached the counter and placed the books she recommended on it. It was also just in time for her mental clock to ring its alarms that it was time for her to clock out. Strange.
“Thank you for recommending these to me. I learned a lot thanks to you. Are you perhaps someone who uses fire a lot?” The witch asks, her smile never leaving her face.
“I found fire easier to master than my mother's preferred element of wind. That's how it became my specialty, perhaps.” Agott shrugs, and seeing Coco's curious gaze on her, she realizes that she accidentally opened up something hard for her to discuss so lightly.
This woman was far too calming for Agott's nerves to relax far too much. She grits her teeth, a physical reaction to how she sometimes has a stray-mouth and a hot-headed personality inside her.
Noticing Agott's sudden, but subtle reaction, Coco clears the air. “No need to be so tense. I can keep that a secret for you.” And with a wink, the anger for herself fell apart. She exhales through her nose, shoulders finally easing for what felt like the first time that night.
“..Thank you.” With a smile, Agott's voice softens, and as if Coco was appalled to do so, she waves with a bittersweet look, signalling that she had to go, and Agott has too.
An empty beach with slow moving waves was perfect for today. Agott walks with the girl. Their feet sinking slightly in the sand, hand in hand. This occurrence was different from the others, and it made Agott eager to see what this entailed. The girl wore something different today. She wore a cloak that didn't close up at the collar. Basically resting on her shoulders. So as she dragged Agott along until they reached the sharp rocks, they stopped. Understandably so. Their feet were dipped into the water, it was cold, and the girl didn't turn around like she usually did.
Agott, being curious, moved to the side, trying to look at her fully, but this girl was as playful as ever, tugging the cloak to cover her body. The librarian chuckles, and continued her antics until she accidentally pushed the cloak away from the girl's hands, and there it was.
Bare and so freshly inked, was a mark on the girl's neck. A common mark always seen on Brimmed Cap witches. The wind started blowing harder, the sky turning gloomy—the ocean's grayish-white hue turning darker, as if the girl stepped on a sharp rock that pierced skin. The flowers on her face started withering, and Agott stared in horror.
“..You’re..!”
Agott herself shouts. In the material world, her voice fell on deaf ears. Her breathing heavy, her hand reaching out to feel half of her face, trying to calm herself down. She then looked at her room's window blown open by the strong winds, signalling that today may be a gloomier day than usual.
Still scrambled by her nightmare, Agott arrives at work like usual, though a bit glum. Her mind's been running circles, to the point of her breaking down before even considering going to work. She's emotionally battered, and her social battery's not enough to sustain a full coverage of what she needs to do to satisfy the Tower's rules, like being approachable.
And to her surprise, a witch slides a tome to her side of the counter. “Fun magic tricks to satisfy children during festivals.” The title read. Her blurred vision almost immediately focused on the familiar person. Someone who always had that bubblegum pink hair, Tetia. Now currently a master witch who had an atelier of her own.
“Being glum doesn't suit you, you know.” She comments, and Agott just rubs her eyes, giving her a small acknowledgement by smiling a little.
“A premonition in my mind told me a certain someone was going to be gloomy today, so I stopped by. Besides that, how's your part of the investigation going?”
“What investigation?”
“The investigation of that new Brimmed Cap. Odd how you just forgot about it. You're very attached to that case, you know.” Tetia crosses her arms, feeling suspicious.
“Since you fucked up, you have to rewrite their memories.”
“Rewrite? You're fucking insane! That's impossible!”
“Every spell has its own counter. Haven't we taught you that already?”
“Y..Yeah, sorry. I'm not feeling it today. How about you, Qifrey, and Richeh's progress?” Agott steers the conversation. She didn't feel comfortable sharing what she felt at that moment.
“Nothing much.. Besides the fact that they leave some sort of glowing stone at scenes.” Tetia replied, the smile that was meant to comfort Agott, turned into something bittersweet.
“Agott, I know you don't really want to talk about it right now, but I'm getting worried.”
“Just had a really bad dream, is all. Every nightmare has its ways to make even the happiest people cower in fear. You know that.” With a smile, the message fell off as dismissive, rather than reassuring.
And for a while, they chatted. Chatted until Agott was stable enough. Something Tetia could only do in her power to make sure everything was okay.
The hours pass by, and it's the dead of the night again. Agott sat by idly, her gaze solely on an object until somebody knocked on the counter. Bringing her focus back into the material world.
“Why so glum, Arklaum?” It was Coco. Even if what she said was a pun, Agott's mood spiked up into a small fit of laughter. In times of need, somebody like Coco was there to help. That is, if she wasn't doubting everything that's happening right now. Her gaze first landed into the witch's smile, and down to her turtleneck.
Her memory flashes back to that dream. The dream that could potentially ruin her life in the worst ways possible. In those hours of tending to witches that needed to find books, Agott was so deep into the theory that the girl in her dreams really was Coco. And she prays to whoever was above that she isn't what she thinks she is. In those hours, she refreshed her mind.
Refreshed her mind of the teachings that Brimmed Caps were not to be interacted with. The lessons where every single thing that harmed the body was forbidden. The whispers that the taste of the fruit was rotten and would lead you downwards in a spiral. Those thoughts repeated itself in the librarian's headspace, and she didn't know how to contain it. And the pit in Agott's stomach was getting larger, so she couldn't hold it in anymore.
“Coco,” Her voice, solemn. Something snapped, and Coco knew of it. Her jaw tensed, with eyes that spoke of layers upon layers of fear. Agott's theories were all getting confirmed, one by one.
“Pull down your collar, please.” A voice that cracked at the last word, she was slowly getting it, now.
“Hey.. Where's this coming from? New rule?” Trying to slide the situation off with sarcasm, it feels like she can't run with a tail in between her legs any further.
“Don't make me pull it down for you.” A shiver went down Coco's spine. She stayed silent, her look turning somber as a finger hooks itself on the collar's fabric, slowly pulling it down, showing the accursed mark that Agott saw in that fucked up dream.
It was different in a way. There were evident scratches scarred into the tattoo, as if she had tried to tear it out of her own skin, but couldn’t. It was permanently branded into her being.
Agott didn't even realize she stopped breathing at that moment. That alone made her eyes blur with long-awaited tears. Her fears were now coming true, and she was disgusted by the fact that she wanted to stay. Even if this woman was a threat to society.
Before she could even think about speaking up, Coco grabs her by the collar, and they get teleported into a lobby. The lobby of the labyrinth where it all started.
Speechless as ever, Coco's grip was tight, even after they teleported. Her hesitancy to let go, to bleed out her vulnerability, she was cracking, and they both knew that. The witch didn't even realize her eyes were already shedding tears before Agott holds her wrist with two hands, calming the witch in the only way she knows how. Physical comfort.
“Why must you feel the need to comfort me?” The witch asks, sniffing as her free hand aggressively tries to wipe away her tears, yet they just keep coming out.
“I have done you all wrong. And even if I tried to amend it in any way I could, I just make it all fucking worse.” As Coco's grip loosens, Agott pulls her into a hug as the witch started crying,
“I'm sorry.. I'm really fucking sorry.” Her voice cracks, each breath hitching as she gasps for air, the emotional turmoil burning inside her for years on end has finally blown its fuse.
“Y..You have the right to not forgive me… Because all I've done for you and the others is despicable as it is.” She started to hiccup her words. In the librarian's case, she pulls away from the hug, instead cupping her face with both hands, thumbs rubbing away stray tears. They stare at each other, although blurry from tears stemming from their eyes.
“I don't deserve anybody's forgiveness, let alone forgive myself for all the harm and hurt I've brought you, Agott.”
“You at least deserve somebody who is.. honest. Because I'm only a liar and a manipulator.” She laughs at what she said, a coping mechanism wherein belittling herself has become something laughable.
“And I.. I know you wouldn't want somebody who's done nothing but play with people like toys.” Another fit of laughter, but it instead turns into a sob as she was degrading herself in front of the person she loved too much to let go. Seeing Agott's emotional, yet observant eyes suddenly made her self-conscious of how she was being portrayed.
“F..Fuck. I look pathetic right now, don't I?” A question left unanswered verbally, yet Agott shows her answer by vehemently shaking her head, a bittersweet smile trembling onto her face as she tries to calm Coco down.
“You look miserable. There's a difference.” In usual Agott fashion, a blunt blow becomes something that surprises the witch, a stare forming into a fit of laughter. Small at first, but it acts as if laughing about it hurts.
“Gosh, you really suck at comforting.” Coco replies in the midst of it, and for once, leans into Agott's touch. The material feeling of somebody holding you so dearly, it forms a new waterfall of tears for the witch. Flashes of memories running around her head and all.
“But I think that's the nicest thing you've said to me tonight.” She adds, leaning more as their foreheads touch. She closes her eyes, reminiscing about everything.
“I wasn't trying to be nice.” Blunt, but why lean in to kiss her on the cheek, Arklaum? Apparently, the librarian herself doesn't know the answer. All she remembers are all of the dreams she had of her.
In the comforting silence, they stood. Until one of them decided it was a good idea to just laugh this all off. And of course, it was Coco.
“Come. I want to show you something.” Dragging her along like she always did in the dreams, the witch leads her librarian to a large circular room, wherein a large statue of Agott stood.
It genuinely surprised her. She approaches it, touching the stone as if it was an ancient tome that needed precise handling. Her hand retreats back to her side as she looks up at how big it was.
“H..How'd you make this?” Asked the librarian. Coco just smiles.
“You made that, dummy.”
“What?”
“The spell. You created it. I only modified it.” Now standing next to her, Coco smiles earnestly, her usual playful demeanor shining bright, with her hand resting on the statue.
“I have to confess, I really didn't mean to wipe all of your memories of me.” The witch starts after a silent pause. Then adds, “One rookie mistake costs a lot, you know? And my first ever rookie mistake as an apprentice was accidentally spraying you with water.” A bittersweet laughter forms from those words alone.
“...I thought that it should've been okay.” Suddenly turning somber, “Until it wasn't.”
“Because of that one mistake, every memory we had together vanished.. But I.. I didn't expect it would bite me back in the ass, because I might have unknowingly created a domino effect.” Gritting her teeth, Coco persists on finally confessing her crimes. “I had no choice. It was either a war ensued, or I had to rewrite everybody's memory of me.”
“But why.. Why did you visit me?” Agott asks, and the latter snickers, her eyes lowering on the ground.
“I've always been selfish. Always getting what I want, but can't have.” Her voice was low, full of emotion as the hand on the statue went to wipe away new, stray tears.
“I wanted you so badly, Agott. But I just couldn't have you. Not like this.” She sniffles. “Yet I was stubborn. Wanting you because I refused to let you go just like that. And I wasn't going to stop until I found a way for us.”
“Because I want this, more than you think, Agott.” Finally looking up to meet her librarian's gaze, all she saw was her smile. A vulnerable smile.
“For all of what you said about yourself earlier, you proved the opposite of it, Coco. You're no liar.”
“And despite all of what you just confessed, I'd still choose you.” Despite her confused expression, Agott finds herself closing the proximity, pressing a kiss onto Coco's lips until the latter reciprocates, her hand gripping at the librarian's clothes as if it was the only thing that anchored her still.
With Agott being the one pulling away, the witch suddenly feels shy. As their foreheads touched, they could only stare at each other, until Coco finally brought it up.
“If you’re still choosing me.. Then I don't think I can keep doing this in places where people might take you away from me.” Feeling a bit embarrassed about this, she adds: “I have a place... It's a cottage that I built a few years ago, deep into the forest. I was hoping to use it when I finally came home to you.”
“But.. It’s fine if you're not comfortable living with me right away. I just.. Don't want to lose you all over again.” Instead of answering directly, Agott just pulls Coco into a soft hug. With the witch's response being the same, finally wrapping her arms around the person she loves.
“Okay. Give me a few days to organize my thoughts.” Her voice was mumbled by the fact that she buried herself deep into the latter's embrace.
In the span of those five days being dedicated to her job, and sorting out her thoughts and bags, Agott was rummaging through her old stuff in the basement, where she finds a covered up object, tucked away to a corner. Approaching it, she takes the cloth and pulls it down, and it was a bust of Coco wearing a flower wreath, eyes closed as if peace found her entire being. The librarian stares at it for the time being, before noticing text carved on one of the smooth sides of the stand.
“In a world where nobody knows what I see, and nobody knows I'm waiting, I'm still inclined to think that you'd come home to me.”
A smile blooms in Agott's face as she decides to bring this sculpture with her. To her new home where she would listen to Coco telling stories about everything they did, to make up for lost time, and memories.
“Would you still love me even as a brushbuddy?” Coco asks, laying on the bed while Agott sat by on the floor, reading an old notebook.
“If it meant having you follow me around and clinging onto me, yes.” Replied the bookkeeper.
“So cheesy. Where'd you learn that? Haha!” The witch adjusts herself, now resting her head onto the latter's shoulder as they read together.
“Found a dusty notebook from the basement in my old home. Dates back to when we were teens.”
“And you kept preserving me since then.”
“Because I love you, and I still do, Coco.”
“I love you too, Agott.