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You weren’t supposed to overhear any of it. And besides it was none of your business anyway!
You had simply gone down to the kitchens for a night-cap to tide you over until first breakfast the following morning. But, much to your surprise, you’d found the kitchen occupied, the voices of Fíli and Kíli echoing down the corridor before you even stepped inside.
It wasn’t that you were avoiding Fíli–well actually you were—but you two had been growing apart over the past few months, partially due to his increased role at court with the councilors prompting him to begin considering courtship. It hurt to distance yourself from him but it was what was best for everyone involved.
Rather than interrupt what was clearly a private conversation, you thought it best you simply wait outside the room for them to be done, then you could go in and get your snack. As you waited patiently you couldn’t help but overhear snippets of their conversation.
“…so you’re saying…”
“Yes,” you heard Fíli’s voice answer. “The Grimhands have proposed a courtship between Avouna and me. Uncle is talking to…”
You froze. So now it all made sense. You’d been hearing rumors about a courtship between the Durin heir and the darling Avouna Grimhand for ages. The whole of Erebor had been talking about the supposed royal wedding. She was from a good family who had their roots in the Iron Hills, it made sense, but you had never wanted to believe it. You supposed now you had to.
You couldn’t keep listening to this conversation. It was one thing to put distance between you and Fíli in an attempt to stifle your feelings, but it was another thing entirely to listen to the dwarf you loved wax poetic about his new fiancée. You could feel the tightness in your throat as you swallowed your emotions down. No, you couldn’t stay here.
So you ran. You ran past the door to the kitchens and down the halls, searching for any door that would take you outside. You had to get out of this infernal mountain and breathe some fresh air.
You finally found one that let you out onto a terrace on the mountain’s edge and though the rain was coming down in sheets you took comfort in the crisp air and the rain’s wet coolness on your skin. You took a minute to soak in the outside air before returning inside the mountain, but when you turned you saw something you never expected to see, not in a million years.
Fíli was standing in the doorway, the rain already beginning to soak through his heavy robes. Damn it, he must have seen you run past the kitchen and followed you. This was the last thing you needed right now.
“What are you doing out here Fíli?” you asked, arms coming to wrap around yourself as it to shield yourself from the heartbreak.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he said, concern etched in his brows.
“You know, I wish you all the best with her. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together,” you stated abruptly. You still couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with him for fear he would see the tears beginning to fall down your cheeks.
“Ibrizinlêkh, what–”
“Avouna. I heard you and Kíli talking,” you said, shifting foot to foot. “The whole mountain has been saying you’ll propose sooner or later. I’m happy for you really.” You were trying to appear ernest, no matter how much this was hurting you, but then you made the mistake of looking up at him.
You could tell that even through the dimness of the evening and the rain pouring down on you that Fíli could see the red rimming your eyes and the tears, now falling in full, down your face. There was nothing you could do to hide it now. As Fíli tried to step towards you in an attempt to offer comfort, you turned away.
“I’ll be fine, Fíli,” you whispered, lying through your teeth. “You should go be with her, I’m no longer your concern–”
But then Fíli cut through your spiralling thoughts. “Stop!” His raised voice shocked you so much that you listened. “You’re wrong.”
“Wrong?” you questioned, his resolve and frustration confusing you.
“Yes wrong,” Fíli said, exasperated. “How can someone so intelligent be so foolish?”
That took you aback. “Fíli Durin, did you just call me foolish?!?” you hissed.
“Yes. Yes I did,” Fíli snapped back, doubling down. “Because I find it so incredibly confounding that even after all this time you still cannot see that I love you!”
It felt as if the world slowed.
“You what?” you asked quietly, eyes wide.
His confession had seemed to have shocked him as much as it had you because all of a sudden Fíli looked panicked, dragging a hand over his face.
“Mahal, I’m not saying this right. You were never supposed to find out like this.” He took a deep breath and attempted to compose himself. “Ibrizinlêkh, I do not care about Avouna Grimhand. It’s you, it’s always been you. You’re the only one I want, in this life and the next.”
"But what about the offer of courtship?"
"That's all it is, an offer," Fíli insisted. "Her family's wanted a connection to the line of During for generations. It's too bad for them that I've already found my khîê, my One."
As he spoke he had been steadily closing the space between you until you looked up and found him right there in front of you. “Do you mean it?” you questioned, still disbelieving.
“Of course I do,” Fíli replied and you could hear the conviction in his words.
You let out a watery laugh before reaching up to cup his face. “Can I please kiss you?” Instead of answering Fíli bent down and met your lips with his.
Oh.
Oh.
Yavanna he was good.
The kiss was tender and exploring; at once new and familiar. You felt as if your knees were already going weak, but Fíli’s strong arms kept you upright and his hand came up to gently caress your face as he held you closer to him. You had no idea what to do with your hands which for the moment were stiff in shock. You settled on tangling them in his hair, to which you received an appreciative hum from Fíli. You truly felt at home in his arms.
When you finally broke apart for air, you and Fíli rested your foreheads together, catching your breath. Both filled with love and just a touch of shock at the way your night turned out. When you pulled back you saw that his pupils were still blown wide.
“I love you too,” you said before he could say anything else. “In case that wasn’t clear.” The smile that stretched across Fíli’s face in response left an indelible mark on your heart.
“Amlanthi sulla dê astâ, Amrâlimê,” Fíli whispered as though swearing an oath. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”
You smiled. “How were we so stupid, dancing around each other like that?”
“I don’t know,” Fíli replied laughing.
As the adrenaline left your body it occurred to you that you were still standing in the freezing rain, your sopping wet clothes making you shiver.
“Come on, let’s get you inside,” Fíli said, noticing your shiver and ushering you through the door, back into the warmth of the mountain.
It was much more pleasant inside and Fíli quickly found towels and blankets in an old storage closet. As you two dried yourselves off Fíli finally remembered something.
“Shit, I completely forgot! I abandoned poor Kíli in the kitchens,” he said, worriedly. “Mahal, he’s going to kill me!”
Fíli made to leave, but as you looped your arm around his neck again, pulling him into another kiss he said, “Well I suppose he can wait a bit longer…”