Work Text:
Anything Twilight has ever had has never lasted.
Even dating back to his childhood, [Redacted] had lost everything. Twilight had never got to keep a single thing from those days of youth and innocence. Not even his own sense of self.
As a spy, he would have to get close to others to get what he needed for world peace. He would make friends, form romantic connections, none of them real. But… Twilight found himself softening his heart to only a few people. A rare, pure heart in the midst of politics and corruption. It wasn’t proper of a spy to feel guilt. But sometimes he’d look at the faces of the people he would lie to and wish he could tell them the truth and apologize.
He was probably the most disgusting person he knew.
It didn’t matter how he felt, though. World peace was more important than the feelings of any individual, including his own. And in the end, his mission would be complete and Robert, Lionel, Roland, and whatever name his face would take would disappear. And so would any sort of guilt or attachment.
When he took upon the name of Loid Forger, he expected it to be the same thing. He’d feel a slight stirring in his heart, but eventually he’d have to leave.
Twilight thought that was how it was going to go. But then he would look into the eyes of his daughter and his wife and let himself imagine for short blips of time. Why had he let himself dream like that? He should’ve known then, that he was compromised for good.
When Twilight discovered his wife’s secret, the one that involved a black dress and blood-stained stilettos, the first emotion he felt was fear. Not of her, but of the fact that now he was obligated to report this to Handler, and Handler would deem the situation too risky and he would have to leave Yor and Anya.
The revelation disturbed him at the time. Since when did that matter to him? Twilight knew from the beginning that the Forgers wouldn’t last. Nothing lasted. So why was he so scared all of a sudden?
And why did he choose to leave Yor’s secret out of his mission reports?
When Yor discovered Twilight’s secret, the one that involved blazing guns and callous lies, the first emotion Twilight felt was also fear. He was scared that she would think badly of him and leave him. He was terrified that she would take Anya and leave. And he was scared of that possibility not because of Operation Strix or any mission.
But because, he realized, he loved them. The Forgers had become a real family to him. As silent as Yor was on the day he first met her, the pair crept through the fortresses and locked doors of his heart. When did this happen? Since when did he start thinking of Anya as his daughter and Yor as his wife?
In the dark room filled with corpses and Thorn Princess at the doorway, Twilight buried himself in despair upon realizing this. He steeled himself for loss. Squeezing his eyes shut, he surrendered to the Thorn Princess, and readied himself for the feeling of a blade cutting through his chest.
He was ready. He understood. For just this once, Twilight would put something above the sake of world peace.
And so he waited. But instead of being stabbed as he expected, he heard a clatter of metal on the ground. He opened his eyes to see Yor kneeling on the floor right in front of him. Her hand cupped his cheek softly, and her red eyes looked at his blue eyes warmly.
“Loid…?” she whispered. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
Wasn’t she? he thought. Yor was an assassin. She killed ruthlessly. He watched her fight. She would masterfully paint arcs of red through the air, all without batting an eye at the carnage she would cause.
But as if reading his thoughts, Yor looked at him with such a hurt expression that made Twilight feel so horribly, horribly cruel. Yor loved her family. She would sing Anya to sleep every night, and treat him with more care than he deserved.
Just like her, Twilight would die over and over again for his family.
His mouth moved despite himself. “Yor,” he croaked. “Please don’t leave me.”
Her face crumpled at his plea, and she rushed to encircle him in an embrace. “I won’t. I’d never want to leave Anya or you, Loid…”
Twilight’s eyes dimmed. Why did he ask her to do that? He wanted to cry, but this body of his didn’t have any left. “Are you sure? Anya… of course you love her, but me? I’m a liar, Yor. I’m an awful person.”
Yor frowned, and pulled away. For a moment, Twilight was worried she had been offended and was going to leave, but she promptly cut off those thoughts and took his wrists into her hands. “Loid, I don’t fully know about what you’ve been keeping hidden from me, but surely you’ve seen what I’ve done just now.” Her eyes swept over the dark room they were in. Blood and knocked-out teeth scattered the floor.
“You will always be Loid to me. I will never leave you,” she smiled softly at him, “all I ask is that you stay with me.”
Twilight knelt forward to wrap his arms back around Yor. “I promise.” And he meant it. He had no plan, no escape routes, no strategies, but he would do whatever he could just to make sure he could keep his promise.