Work Text:
The weather in Pier Point is automated, intended to be the ideal for each given day. Sunny most days, raining at the perfect intervals in order to cause neither flooding nor drought. If one were to calculate the rate of the days that it rained, they would find it followed the schedule of light sprinkle every few days overnight, and a burst of heavier rain during the day every two weeks or so.
All of these factors, all leading to the same conclusion;
It is raining, and it is raining hard.
All of the lines of code in the artificial sky, every gear in the machine, leads to such an event.
Dr. Veritas Ratio of the Intelligentsia Guild finds himself in Pier Point on this very day. The Rain causes a “shhhao” sound against each window on each building, and every respective rooftop.
Today should not be significant. The only event of note should be the rain. But that is only if you do not happen to be Dr. Ratio, strategic partner of Aventurine of Stratagems. It did not take any of the knowledge from any of his eight doctorates for Ratio to notice Aventurine’s aversion to the rain. Now, a dislike of rain is normal. Skipping work on a day where it is raining hard is not.
Especially when he has showed up in these conditions prior to today.
And so marks the beginning of Dr. Ratio’s journey to find out just what could have made Aventurine—notorious workaholic—not show up.
(Please disregard how Ratio would do not nearly this much work for anybody else he calls “coworker”.)
***
It was raining. Quite hard. Not hard enough to numb his brain completely.
Aventurine, no, Kakavasha stands at the window to the balcony. The rain continues to fall. That’s all the rain does, that is all that it’s good for. Kakavasha stands, the rain falls.
Stupid rain. It isn’t even drinkable. What good is water if you can’t drink it? Or I suppose you could bathe in it. You can’t do either in the rain. Does standing in it count as bathing?
Kakavasha stands, the rain falls. His cats sit and his cats play. They eat, they drink. All the things that Kakavasha cannot bring himself to do.
Kakavasha stands.
The door pounds.
Wait, what?
***
The door pounds.
Ratio did not come all this way for Aventurine to not open this door.
“Gambler?” Knock knock, yet again. As Ratio weighs the pros and cons of brute force, the door does finally open.
What meets his gaze could be called Aventurine, but certainly not the one in pristine condition shown to the public. The lights are off within his apartment, and create quite a threatening shadow upon his face. His stare looks dead and ominous, especially in tandem with how his pajamas rest on his frame, buttons buttoned, just not to the correct slot on the opposite side. Ratio sees all this, and states his intentions.
“I’m coming inside.”
“…Yeah, okay.” Aventurine disappears into the darkness briefly, before remerging with the first appearance of the lights within the apartment.
—
Aventurine sits on the couch; right hand on his lap, and left hand clenching a blanket. “…So… what brings you here, doc?”
Ratio paces slowly in front of where Aventurine sits, anxious with uncertainty. “I believe I should be asking you why you did not show up at work today, Aven—“
“Kakavasha.” he cuts in quickly, moving back off just as fast.
Oh.
“Is that..?”
“My real name? Yeah, what about it?”
What about it? What *not* about it? I am honored he trusts me with this. I don’t want to startle him.
“…Call me Veritas, then.” He offers, sitting down to Kakavasha’s right.
“Hello, Veritas then.” Kakavasha attempts to deadpan Veritas, but it fails when his lip trembles with suppressed laughter.
“Oh quit it, you know what I meant—“ Veritas huffs, playfully flicking Kakavasha in the forehead.
He raises his hands in surrender, giggling a bit more. “Ehe~ sorry, sorry.”
“Ahem, so, is there a reason you took today off?” Veritas redirects.
“…There is. Many, but I suppose it all boils down to one.” Kakavasha leans away for a moment with his body, and his gaze following suit. “It’s my birthday today.”
“Moping about at home without eating or drinking anything is an odd way to celebrate such an joyous event.” Veritas pokes Kakavasha’s shoulder, noticing his barriers coming back up.
Kakavasha sighs. “Joyous? My birthday doesn’t mean the same thing everyone else’s does. Surely you’ve read my file? Don’t pretend like you haven’t. You’re smart. You know basic cosmic history.”
He’s being dismissive. Ratio thinks, but does not say.
“…Ah. That— had not registered in my mind, fully. I apologize for my insensitivity.”
“Nah, I’m not mad or anything Do—Veritas. I just— I dunno. I get a little—“
Ratio offers, “Depressed? Grief-stricken?” After Kakavasha glares at him, Veritas puts his hands up innocently, and nods his head as a gesture to continue.
“…Around this time.” Kakavasha brings his knees to his chest.
Ratio also shifts position, crossing his legs. He’s trying his best to stay out of professor mode, but one can only do so much. “Completely understandably so.”
“What? C’mon, Doc. You know as well as I do that I’m being dramatic about this whole thing.” Veritas sends him a look that says ‘don't joke about this.’ Kakavasha replies with a look that says ‘what joke?’
Veritas sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Firstly, I told you to call me Veritas. Second, what in hell made you believe truly and honestly that being sad on the anniversary of your people’s genocide was ‘dramatic?’”
Kakavasha furrows his brows for a moment, before raising one in confusion. “You say that like I’m not overreacting.”
“You aren’t.” Was that too harsh?
“Hm?” Kakavasha looks up at Veritas, head peaking out from the ball he had curled up into.
“You aren’t overreacting about this. If anything, You’re reacting much less than I had initially… Oh dear.” I didn’t think that would be what made him cry. “Do you perhaps need some water?” Veritas leans closer, lowering his voice’s volume, but his tone still seems uncertain.
Kakavasha sputters, “Can’t you see there’s— plenty, coming from my eyes??” How is he still funnier than every other person I know, even when he breaks down?
“Eye can see that, yes.” Laughter is the best medicine, allegedly.
“…”
Veritas backtracks, “…Since you are disposing of water, you should refill your system with more. I shall be back shortly.” As he makes an attempt to stand up, Veritas feels a hand grab his shirt. A shaky one, but a strong grip nonetheless. “…Is there something else you need?”
Kakavasha hesitates, speaking softly. “…I think I’m going to puke.”
Today is going to be long and hard.
(But what is love, if not the most rewarding labor of them all?)
——
Kakavasha now sits at the table, glaring at the bowl of soup in front of him as if it was the sole reason for all of his grief. Veritas sits across from him, now having changed out of his dirty clothing.
(“Sorry for vomiting on you…”
“Apologize for not eating at reasonable hours, and I’ll consider accepting your apology.”)
Veritas notices Kakavasha’s hesitance. “Is there something wrong with the soup? I figured it’d be easiest on your stomach out of everything you had.”
“…I don’t feel like eating.” He replies flatly.
“You also said you didn’t feel like getting up, drinking water, or changing out of your pajamas. You succeeded with those, Kakavasha. I know that this is not that bad in comparison.”
Okay, so unfair. How dare you be convincing by using my name. How dare you say it so—
“How about a game, hm?”
“Nope.”
“No?”
“It cannot possibly be that hard to pick up the spoon and bring the fluid to your mouth, can it?”
Aventurine, offended by being talked to as if he were dumb, took a bite of soup out of spite. As he swallowed it, he looked back up to see Veritas smirking.
Damned scholar.
——
Kakavasha turns back to the window. The rain is still making its ‘shhoa’ sound. Veritas tidies the dishes, watching him for a moment. What goes on in that head of his? Only one way to find out.
“Kakavasha, would you like to sit back on the couch?” Veritas merely gets a nod in response, the man before him moving before a hand could be offered to help.
“Now that you have food and drink in your system, do you feel like talking about anything right now?”
“I don’t want to, but I know that I should. There’s a lot in my mind right now.”
“Tell me something you feel, then.”
Kakavasha goes silent with thought, considering feelings and attempting to name them. “I feel the sensations of the rain on my skin despite being inside.”
“Hm. Allow me to try something.” Kakavasha nods. Veritas grabs the blanket that has been laid on the couch, draping it around Aventurine’s shoulders. It’s not quite a swaddle, but it does the same job. Veritas chooses to sit down next to Kakavasha. He does not explicitly offer a hug, but does lean closely enough to offer additional warmth.
“The human body has no specific sense for detecting moisture, so the closest thing we have is temperature. If you feel phantom rain, it is most likely just cold.”
Kakavasha slouches, choosing to lean into the offer of warmth from Veritas.
He’s so vulnerable with me. Would he be upset if I held him? Is me being here okay? As he contemplates, Veritas is taken out of his own head as he hears a sniffle. Impulsively, Veritas gives into his desire. Forgive me, Kakavasha.
Veritas’ arms move to surround Kakavasha, cradling his head to Veritas’ chest, and offering further security against the outside world. Feel me, instead of the rain. Kakavasha leans into Veritas further, trembling hand exiting the blanket that houses him. Kakavasha’s hand finds Veritas’ wrist, gripping on gently.
Kakavasha questions softly, “Am I okay like this?” Will you hold me as long as need? goes unsaid.
“Yes, this is fine.” Yes, I will hold you as long as you wish. Veritas tightens his grip, placing a soft kiss to the top of Kakavasha’s head. As long as you’ll have me.
And with the kiss, Kakavasha breaks. For the second time today, he has let his emotions overflow and overwhelm. For the second time today, Veritas has been there to help. Kakavasha cries, and Veritas holds him. He moves his hand to brush through Kakavasha’s hair gently in an attempt to soothe, but does not prevent this well needed release from happening.
Kakavasha hiccups, “I’m sorry for making you stay here.” With me.
“It was my choice to be here, and I don’t choose to do unpleasant things,” Veritas assures. You are not a burden to me. I will choose you again and again.
“Don’t you have other things to be doing?” I’m not worth your time.
“Don’t be silly. This takes priority.” I would give you all of my time if I could. “Take all the time you need, I will be here.” Veritas pauses the movement between the wheat colored hair of Kakavasha, but does not end the embrace.
“Do you mind if I just… talk?”
Veritas nods, “Not at all. I’m listening. Tell me if you’d like a response.” he holds Kakavasha’s gaze for a moment, hoping he seems sincere.
“I don’t really care. I just… figure it’d be better to get it out. Anyway,” Kakavasha pauses, taking a few breaths to feign composure. “I don’t know how, but no matter where I am, it will rain on this day each year.”
“Your birthday?” Veritas questions.
“Yeah. I don’t like it. The rain, I mean.”
“I’ve noticed.”
Kakavasha rolls his eyes before continuing, “It’s… gloomy. And also a reminder of, well— everything.” Veritas stays quiet, leaving room for Kakavasha to elaborate. “Of losing. Of failing. Y’know.”
Veritas furrows his brow in confusion, “Failing at what?”
“Well, everything.” Kakavasha states, as if it were a fact of life. Living things have cells, the speed of light is about three-hundred million meters per second, and Kakavasha fails at everything; allegedly.
Complete nonsense. “What have you failed at? Because when I think of you, I think of somebody who succeeds at everything he decides he wants to win,” Veritas explains. The greatest gambler of them all.
Kakavasha pulls back from the embrace, enough to lock eyes with Veritas. “Oh don’t flatter me. I lose plenty.”
“Of what?” Veritas isn’t raising his voice per se, but it does gain the tone of someone who has.
“Things that matter!” Aventurine in contrast, was raising his voice.
Veritas sounds accusatory, but he still does not yell, “Such as?”
“Loved ones.” Aventurine snaps without a beat of hesitation.
“…Ah.” And that, is how you get Dr. Veritas Ratio to shut his mouth and back off. It is known by people he interacts with often that he does have a weakness for a certain blonde gambler. This interaction is a wonderful display of behavior from Ratio that would be atypical towards literally any other person.
There is an awkward pause between them. Veritas looks almost pitying, whether he realizes it or not. Aventurine clenches his left fist underneath the blanket, preventing it from shaking. Veritas is the first to break the silence, starting a new line of questioning, “I can see how that would affect you so deeply. Is that perhaps why you push people away?”
“I didn’t ask for therapy, Doc.” Kakavasha turns away, tone much colder than before.
Veritas hesitates, “…Apologies. Continue.” He makes an attempt to pull back from the embrace entirely, but Kakavasha holds his hand in a death grip.
“I just— I feel awful. Why me, Why did I, have to live? I don’t deserve it. Especially not with what I’ve become.” Kakavasha sighs before continuing, “I can’t even be myself. Who is ‘myself’ anyway? I don’t know. I just feel extra lost on days like this.” Fuck it. What do I have to lose? “I just want it to stop. I want to feel like a human again, damn it—“
“Breathe, Kakavasha.” Veritas’ voice breaks through the sea of dread surrounding Kakavasha’s mind, a lifeboat for the drowning man.
Kakavasha pauses, “…Sorry.”
“I’ll take you up on the offer for a game from earlier. How about… you tell me 5 things you can see, hm?” Veritas keeps his voice light, almost playful, oddly enough.
Haven’t played this game before. “I see… You. Hm…. The chair, This blanket… Do the cat cakes count as three individual items if they’re stacked?”
“Sure.” Ratio notes internally, He’s getting quite invested in this already.
“Then I see Artie, Dia, and Clover over there. How is this a game, exactly?”
“Trust me. Don’t you love games of trust?” Like when you put a gun in my hand and made me shoot?
Kakavasha huffs in amusement, “Sure do. What next?”
Focus, Veritas. “What are 4 things you hear?”
“Hm. My voice, the stupid rain—“ Veritas squeezes Kakavasha a little. Don’t get yourself too worked up. “…your heartbeat, and—“
CRASH!!
Kakavasha winces slightly at the sound, groaning, “…Did Dia just knock something over?”
Veritas replies curtly, not pleased by the loud noise either. “I think she did.”
“Fuuuuck me…” Kakavasha pinches the bridge of his nose; a habit he definitely* did not pick up from Veritas.
(*Read: sarcasm)
Faced with a golden opportunity to let his own guard down a bit, Veritas leans in to whisper, “I do not trust that you are in a good headspace for that currently.” He feels the shiver run down Kakavasha’s spine that precedes his response.
“Oh my god, stop—“ Kakavasha laughs, possibly the most joyous thing from him yet today. “Even the great Dr. Ratio is not immune to making sex jokes, as it seems.”
“Like I said, it’s Veritas right now.” Despite his feigned frustration, Veritas smiles.
Aventurine notes internally, as much as he makes it appear otherwise, he’s just as human as everyone else, if not more so, actually. Another sticky note on the metaphorical mirror of his brain.
Veritas redirects, “…Back to the game. What are three things you feel?”
Kakavasha pauses, thinking harder about this question, “I feel… the softness of this blanket, you breathing—“
“Already said that,” Veritas cuts in.
Kakavasha huffs, “It applies to both categories, does it not?”
“Broaden your horizons.” Veritas slips into his teacher voice, testing how annoying he can be right now without issue.
“Your heartbeat then.” Emotions count as feelings, yeah? “And I suppose…” Loved.
I think I feel loved right now. No, I *do* feel loved right now. It’s… quite nice.
“…I feel good.” Kakavasha utters, almost with a gasp.
His revelation does not go unnoticed by Veritas, glad that his subtlety has been picked up and held with care. “I’m happy to hear it. Now, what are two things you can smell?”
“I’ll go with… your shirt and my breath.” Kakavasha wrinkles his nose, turning his face away from Veritas’ neck. “Ugh, if I’d have known I was having company I would’ve brushed my teeth.”
“I’m proud of you for simply making it out of bed. I don’t blame you for skipping over such an event today, at least,” Veritas feels odd at his voice coming out of his mouth like that, but continues regardless. “Anyway, last round. Name one thing you can taste.”
“…Salt.” A brief reply with no additional comments, contrasting every other stage of this ‘game’.
“Thank you for doing that for me. Do you feel calmer, now?”
“A little. What do you usually do to calm down?” Kakavasha turns his head just in time to see the subtle way Veritas’ expression lights up with excitement.
“I take a bath, if able. Should I start running one for you?” He smiles, and Kakavasha mirrors it.
“That sounds kinda nice, right now.” He looks like he’d be wagging his tail right now if he had one, goodness. “I mean, I don’t wish to make you leave, but a bath wouldn’t be a bad idea! We could bathe together if you want or something.”
“I shall go run it.” Veritas very intentionally did not acknowledge Kakavasha’s idea, and finally unraveled himself from the embrace as a way to compose himself for a moment. Did he mean it? Surely not in the way I am thinking…
——
Okay, so, Kakavasha very much meant it in the way Veritas was thinking.
Veritas had called Kakavasha in, turning away to give Kakavasha room to disrobe. When Veritas attempted to leave, Kakavasha snarked, “Were you not going to join?” to which Veritas needed no further convincing.
Veritas turned away to discard of his own clothing, stepping into the bath on the side facing Kakavasha. The small amount of bubbles in the bath were doing wonders for their modesty, but even then, it was hard not to stare—for both of them.
I know Veritas isn’t shy about his figure, but it’s one thing to see it how it usually is, and another to see it like this. How have I never caught or interrupted him while he was exercising? Surely he must spend a lot of time maintaining such a physique…
How is it that Kakavasha grows more beautiful each day? How many other people have been able to see this sight that I have in front of me right now? How many others did Kakavasha choose to show, *want* to show? Damn it all, I love him.
Breaking the odd silence, Veritas offers, “Would you like for me to wash your hair?”
“I washed my hair last night, there’s no need to tonight.”
“I’m sure you did, but you did vomit all over the couch, rendering such an activity irrelevant in the grand scheme of cleanliness.”
Kakavasha dramatically sighs, going on about how “I suppose you can wash my hair…” but what Veritas is truly paying attention to is how Kakavasha just turned his back to him. He trusts me. He trusts me enough to show me his back. His full exposed back. Why am I being such a weirdo about this? It’s just another back like anybody else’s. It’s just a bath, and this is routine.
Kakavasha is horrifically unaware of what is going through Veritas’ head, because he cannot read minds, contrary to what some might think. This was a mistake, it’s ugly. I know it’s ugly. He thinks I’m ugly. Don’t feel bad, doc, I wouldn’t want to look at it either. “…I know it’s a sight for sore eyes, sorry, Doc.”
“What the hell are you spouting about? Are you talking about yourself? Do not spread such misinformation. I wasn’t aware you followed the Enigmata, gambler.” Hopefully his teacher voice gets the point across well enough as Veritas begins washing Kakavasha’s hair, taking care to not get shampoo in his eyes.
Kakavasha stays silent, keeping his eyes ahead facing the wall. “Well— no, not the Enigmata, doc.”
“Exactly. So why do you spout such nonsense about my—“ Friend. Crush. Everything. “…Partner. I do not tolerate slander towards those I care about. Do not self-loathe in my presence, Kakavasha. I’d prefer if you didn’t at all, but I understand that may not be doable right away. Clear?”
He asks me that, as if he didn’t just change my perception of what he thought of me and turned my world upside down. “Clear.”
Veritas sounds pleased, “Good.”
“Wait, partner?” Kakavasha begins to wring his hands beneath the water, the conversation leaning into gray territory.
Veritas backtracks, “Well— coworker technically, but I feel that partner is a fitting label for us. Do you have any objections to being referred to as my partner?”
Kakavasha laughs weakly, more of a snicker, “You do realize that makes it sound like we’re dating, right?”
“No, I hadn’t considered that. Does that make you uncomfortable?” Careful, Veritas.
Aventurine rambles, brushing off the true weight of the conversation. “I mean— I don’t think you have feelings like that towards me, so I don’t understand why you would call me that.”
Veritas’ internal warnings did not compute, as evidenced by him blurting, “Says who?” Veritas’ eyes widen at the realization of how that could be interpreted. What happened to being careful, me?!
“What?” Kakavasha looks over his shoulder, eyebrow raised.
Veritas’ hands pause their rinsing. “What?” Fuck.
“Do you… actually, let’s get out of the bath, to address this.” Kakavasha grabs the side of the bath, balancing before standing, but Veritas stops him.
The hand on Kakavasha’s shoulder doesn’t feel desperate, per se, but definitely a feeling in that neighborhood of emotion. Veritas speaks softly, “But you haven’t used conditioner yet.” he glances away as he blushes.
Kakavasha brings his own hand to rest on top of the one Veritas has on his shoulder. “…Alright. Let’s finish this up, but don’t try to escape the conversation, alright?” Veritas nods, and Kakavasha bares his back yet again with a deep breath. Veritas ponders, What a crazy idea that Mr. Avoid-everything-emotional-until-it-causes-physical-ailment is telling me to not avoid something.
The rest of the bath is spent in silence, the space between now and the prospect of the future. Veritas’ silence is a plea of guilt, and Kakavasha is his prosecutor. All the evidence is in the open, and they must share the final verdict.
With his hair fully rinsed out, Kakavasha spares no hesitation on getting out of the bath. He does offer his hand to help Veritas up before draining it, though. Veritas continues to avoid eye contact. In fact, he makes an attempt to avoid looking at Kakavasha altogether while he is indecent. Kakavasha remedies such a dilemma by providing bath robes for them both. They take turns towel drying each other’s hair, letting the towels rest on their shoulders once finished.
***
Kakavasha leaves the bathroom first, letting Veritas exit of his own accord. The cat cakes are very pleased at the sight of their Dad with a smile on his face for the first time today, and are even happier at the sound and sight of their bowls filling with food.
Veritas—after composing himself—meanders down the hall, watching Kakavasha play with the cats for a moment. I don’t want to lose him. Why did I have to let it slip today of all days. It’s his birthday, some present this is—my personal feelings. Veritas nearly jumps out of his skin as Kakavasha pokes his shoulder, smiling softly.
He asks, “Sit with me?” to which Veritas nods. Back to the couch it is; a neutral area, but a comfortable one. There is a larger distance between them than there was earlier, but that is not a hard feat given how the two looked like they were trying to meld into one.
Aventurine begins, suppressing the shaking in his voice, “I think you know what I’m going to say. We’ve both had plenty of time to think it over, so I’m just going to say it—“
Please. Please don’t let me lose this.
“…I— I love you too, Ratio. Veritas.” What. “I know you want to be called Veritas right now but I’m so used to calling you Ratio that it feels normal to address you like that, especially for something like this, and I—“
Veritas cuts Kakavasha off before he can spiral further, “What.”
Kakavasha’s hand runs through his hair; lifting his bangs, and providing relief for his sweaty forehead. “Is that— is that not what you meant earlier?”
Veritas’ thoughts are dragged kicking and screaming from his brain, schooled into comprehensible language in his throat, and escape his mouth as some form of mutilated creature. “Yes. Uhm, words. Yeah…. they— I—“ I love you so much, so why can’t I say it? “Words hard, sometimes, yeah?” After stuttering like that, Veritas wants nothing less than to crawl under the couch and hide. Perhaps he could develop a human-sized shell like the cat cakes.
Kakavasha leans in, patting Veritas on the head. “I’ve been there. Wait so— you like, like me?”
Veritas hides his face behind his hands, his voice muffled, “Love.”
Kakavasha smiles, amused at Veritas’ behavior deviating far from the usual. “Well isn’t that a crazy concept,” he jokes.
“Nope, fully true,” Veritas sighs.
Kakavasha leans forward, “So does that mean we love each other, then?”
“Yes.”
After a moment of deliberation, Kakavasha smiles, head flopping onto Veritas’ shoulder. “Well isn’t that a lovely birthday gift. Maybe even the best I’ve had. I mean, not that it’s a hard title, but it will be hard to top in the future.”
Veritas mumbles to himself, before pinching the bridge of his nose. “Birthday. Oh— bless it, we don’t have a cake.” He doesn’t groan audibly, but the sentiment is felt.
Taking his hand away from his face, Kakavasha “Shh, No need.”
“Hm?”
“I have everything I could want right now,” Aventurine grins, rubbing his fingers together with a pspspspsps to invite the cat cakes into the cuddle pile. “I have my cats, washed hair, and my favorite person, who is hugging me, no less.”
“Well,” Veritas smiles, “…in that case, happy birthday, Kakavasha.”
Kakavasha grins.