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1. How to worship a goddess by RisottoGary

   Fandoms: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas  

   • Not Rated
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • F/M
   • Work in Progress

   14 Aug 2026

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Azriel/Gwyneth Berdara
   • Emerie/Morrigan (A Court of Thorns and Roses)
   • Gwyneth Berdara
   • Azriel (A Court of Thorns and Roses)
   • Cassian (A Court of Thorns and Roses)
   • Nesta Archeron
   • Morrigan (A Court of Thorns and Roses)
   • Emerie (A Court of Thorns and Roses)
   • Rhysand (A Court of Thorns and Roses)
   • Self Confidence Issues
   • Body Positivity
   • POV First Person
   • POV Gwyneth Berdara
   • Insecure Gwyneth Berdara
   • Oblivious Gwyneth Berdara
   • Azriel in Love (A Court of Thorns and Roses)
   • Reading
   • Lake swimming
   • Attempted Sexual Assault
   • Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
   • Eventual Smut

   Summary

   Before I tell you what I'm about to, there are a couple of things you should know about me.

   1. I’m a big girl. And I don’t just mean tall. Or overweight. I mean both. 6 feet with a BMI of 26.8.

   Em and Nesta claim that I look like a goddess of fertility, but I’ve struggled with it a lot. The feeling that I took up way too much space no matter where I went. I don’t want to say “naturally”, but I’ve had my share of exercise-all-the-time and eat-next-to-nothing phases. I’m glad I got out of those. They made me nothing but miserable.

   I wish I had put that work into loving myself instead. Battled all the things that told me I shouldn’t sooner. Tried to embrace what I can't change instead of fruitlessly trying to change it anyway.

   It was hard. It is hard. Most days, I don't enjoy looking in the mirror. Most days, I do what I can to make myself smaller. Most days, I don't feel like the word 'beautiful' does (or ever will) apply to me.

   But I’ll keep at it. Because I want to be loved by the most important person in my life. Me.

    

   I got side-tracked, sorry. Here’s the next thing you should know.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   18,044

   Chapters:

   8/?

   Comments:

   14

   Kudos:

   71

   Bookmarks:

   7

   Hits:

   1,314