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It was another beautiful day in Hometown. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming… on a day like this, there was only one place Kris and Susie would be caught dead. There, outside of QC’s diner, Susie had settled into a casual lean against the building’s metal siding, careful not to look too conspicuous in the way she crossed her arms, eyes shifting from side to side. It took a good few minutes longer than she had wanted, but eventually, she spotted the yellow-and-green shirt she’d been waiting for.
“Yo, Kris,” she called out, still restraining herself from pouncing on Kris like a shark that smelled blood. Or in her case, apples. “You got the stuff?”
With a vacant grin that spread ear-to-ear, Kris pulled a crumpled wad of bills out of their pockets–ten, twenty, thirty, thirty-five whole dollars. Juuuust enough for the QC’s Ultra Deluxe Sundae Challenge: thirty-five dollars’ worth of ice cream in vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, mint chocolate chip, and eggnog flavors (the last at the mayor’s insistence, according to rumors) stacked high with hot fudge, fresh strawberry pieces, sugar cookies, two whole king-sized chocolate bars, candy canes, birthday cake, apple pie, and god only knows what other vaguely-sweet bullshit QC found hiding out in the back of the diner’s kitchen.
Nobody had ever finished it (even with a partner) within the thirty-minute allotted timespan to win the free “I Freezed Out QC’s Diner” t-shirt and a year’s worth of free sundaes. Many people had sworn off ice cream entirely after attempting the challenge. And, rumor had it, three monsters had been sent to the hospital after attempting the challenge due to the sheer intensity of the stomachaches and brain freeze they’d experienced.
It was the perfect way to spend an afternoon and thirty-five bucks, Kris and Susie had decided. And if one or both of them wound up hurling, well, that was the cost of admission. Other than the money, which Kris had been saving for weeks for this very purpose. Would their mom disapprove, later? Absolutely. But if she didn’t want them spending $35 in such a manner, she shouldn’t have given it to them in the first place.
“Hell yeah, hand it over.” Susie swiped the money from Kris’s outstretched hand and began to count each bill for herself, straightening each one and then crumpling it once more for dramatic effect. “This is the best idea you’ve had yet, Kris, gotta say.”
“...Even better than the one where we made out until one of us gave up?” Kris teased, sticking out their (scarred) tongue.
“Uhh, yeah, considering you had to get stitches. And you had to convince your mom that it was an accident.”
“Hey, still won,” Kris mumbled, their expression clearly smug even with their eyes visible.
“Well, you’re not gonna win today,” Susie declared, slamming the door to QC’s Diner wide open.
“Oh, honey, could you please be a bit more gentle with the door?” A voice called from the kitchen, and in an instant, Susie was closing the door gingerly, Kris snickering. Wordlessly, the two took their usual seats in the diner–at this point, the booth was more so Kris and Susie’s seats than Kris and Asriel’s. It was what their brother would have wanted, Kris mused to themselves, to take a hot purple dragon girl to their old spot.
“So… what’s the game?” There was always some sort of game, with the two of them–who could skip rocks the farthest, find the stupidest headline, stack the most Cuptains on top of one another. So even now, with the QC’s Ultra Deluxe Sundae…
“First one to the bottom of the sundae wins. And you gotta be able to see to the bottom, so don’t just stick your spoon all the way down and say you won, dumbass.”
“Would I ever,” Kris taunted, their smile telling a different story from their words.
“Yes, you would,” grumbled Susie. So she was still sore about the pie incident.
“Yeah, maybe,” Kris shrugged. “But deal. You’ll win anyway.”
“Heh, you know it. Straight-to-DVD Godzilla Christmas special, here I come.” After a moment of satisfied silence, fidgeting with her claws, Susie pounded the table. “HEY QC, GIVE US THE QC ULTRA DELUXE!!!!!”
QC’s fluffy ears poked out from the kitchen, her head following but not the rest of her body. Always busy, busy. “You sure about that one, hun? Last time Kris and their brother tried that, they were both crying by the end.”
Kris flushed, subtly (or at least, they thought as much) drawing their hand back and forth across their neck.
“Oh, nevermind, I might be misremembering, hon. Kris here was a real trooper; they woulda finished if their brother got his stuff together.” QC winked. Kris, for their part, flushed even deeper, sinking into the plushy bench seat until their head rested atop the table.
“Hell yeah, Kris,” Susie whispered, offering a surprisingly gentle fist bump. “And YEAH, we’re gonna take it! I got thirty-five dollars burning a hole in my pocket!”
Kris coughed. “Er, Kris’s pocket.”
“Well then, I’ll have that out in a jiff!” QC ducked her head back into the kitchen before popping back out, one last time. “Oh, and extra chocolate bars, for Kris. On the house since you two got so close last time.”
Kris groaned. Why did they have to live in a town where everyone had known them since they were a baby. Next to them, Susie laid down her snout in solidarity. “Sooo, you’re gonna share those chocolate bars, right?”
“Fat chance,” Kris laughed, pushing Susie’s nose back until remorse overtook them, and they gave her long, long face a little kiss. Mwah.
“Knew you couldn’t resist.”
Kris shrugged. “…like big snouts.”
“They should study you.” Ow. There was a flick to Kris’s nose.
“Study me yourself, smartass.”
Susie’s eyeball appeared, pressed up against Kris’s face.
“Observation one: Kris Dreemurr is a freak.”
“…Took you that long to figure it out? Figured you woulda known after—”
“One QC’s Ultra Deluxe Sundae with extra chocolate, coming up!”
A tower of a sundae interrupted their flirting—easily three feet tall between the layers of cake and pie, an entire s’more (that was a new addition, Kris thought), and of course, copious amounts of ice cream. This was hell.
“Duuuude, this is heaven.”
Hell for one of them, anyways.
“Now, y’all know the rules, I figure—thirty minutes, no outside help, and if you yarf it, you clean it. Oh, and I almost forgot these handy little waivers—just in case!”
The waivers, which roughly read ‘If you get sick it’s your fault,’ were quickly signed and discarded with the help of a chewed pencil, also produced from Kris’s pocket.
“A few little tips for the newcomer here—eat the ice cream first, you’re not gonna like it when it’s all melted, if it’s anything bigger than a crumb you gotta finish it, and no saving any of it in cheek pouches. …Not that it applies here, but we’ve seen it before, hon.”
“Pssh, thanks,” Susie dismissed, brushing her hair behind her shoulders, “But we’re good. I’m gonna be done with this thing before you even start the timer.”
“If you say so, sweetheart.” There was a pitying look in QC’s eye, one that said she’d seen this story a thousand times before. “Aaaaand, start.”
In one chomp, the sundae lost a third of its height, the apple pie and towering stack of eggnog ice cream lost to the abyss of Susie’s stomach. QC covered a tittering laugh with her paw and murmured a “Good luck” in Kris’s direction as she returned to the endless cycle of new orders and cleaned plates.
There was nothing left to do but dive in. If Susie’s strategy was to consume with reckless abandon, Kris would have to be strategic—first, they pushed as much of their side of the sundae as they could to Susie’s—they wouldn’t hear her complain, they were sure. In return, though, they found an extra bar of chocolate snuck to their side of the sundae, one they inhaled without hesitation. If they could just be a little picky, taking all the chocolate and leaving the rest for Susie…
“HEY, dumbass, at leasht…” Susie leaned her head back, swallowing a bite whole like a snake that had unhinged its jaw. “Have the eggnog ice cream. It sucks ass.”
Kris sighed, the sort of resigned sigh you’d hear from a dog that had just settled in for the evening, and, after a moment’s hesitation, began to dig into Susie’s portion of the eggnog ice cream. It was… an acquired taste. But one they’d acquired years ago, back when they’d actually stay at the Holidays’ long enough to be offered dessert. Really, in a way, it tasted like nostalgia. …Bad nostalgia. Still, if it was for Susie…
Kris took a few more bites. Their stomach rumbled in a disagreeable manner. Still, thanks to their strategy, they were so much closer to the bottom than Susie. All they needed was to finish one, no, two spoonfuls of strawberry ice cream, and–
“Ommmph. Sorry, Kris, you want any of that? I just noticed you were almost to the bottom, and figured I could help out. And by that, I mean… first place, baby.” Susie lifted her head from the sundae bowl–she hadn’t used her spoon once this entire time, much to Kris’s amusement–and licked her lips, making direct eye contact with Kris. She hadn’t touched at least 90 percent of the dripping mess of ice cream, cake crumbs, and pie crust that had formed a mustache-slash-beard over her snout, and the sight was enough to send Kris into peals of laughter that only hurt their stomach harder.
“Sure, go ahead, laugh, but you aren’t the one who reached the bottom of the sundae first!”
“Maybe,” Kris giggled, between reluctant bites out of a (soggy) snowflake-shaped sugar cookie, “But I don’t think they’re gonna let us win… pff… if you’re wearing the food.” With a few swipes, they’d traced a heart-shaped swatch of sugary goop from Susie’s scales, popping it in their mouth and humming. Not bad.
“HEY,” Susie squeaked, “Maybe try eating the rest of the sundae???? Instead of me???????”
“I am,” Kris teased, relishing the red of Susie’s cheeks. “I’m just getting the parts you missed. …’sides, tastes better with Susie flavor.”
“THE HELL IS SUSIE FLAVOR???”
To answer properly, Kris ran their thumb under Susie’s chin, where they could feel the first rumbles of a growl rising from her throat, and planted their thumb against her lips.
“What do you think?”
With a scoff, Susie’s tongue darted out just enough to get the taste of sundae sugar goop. Judge Susie took her time pondering the flavor, arms crossed and eyes closed… before delivering her verdict.
“This is Kris flavor, dumbass. You contaminamated it with your finger.”
“Contaminated,” they corrected, unable to conceal a grin.
“SHUT UP AND EAT, DUMBASS!!!”
Whatever you say, Susie, Kris thought, followed by the thought that this would be the most worthwhile stomachache they’d had in a while.