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Jahoda woke to soft lips pressing against her forehead.
Not unusual. Ineffa had a thing about mornings—some protocol in her programming that made her incapable of using an alarm clock like a normal person. Instead, she'd perch on the edge of Jahoda's bed, optical sensors glowing soft blue in the pre-dawn darkness, and kiss her awake with methodical tenderness.
"Vital signs: optimal," Ineffa murmured against her temple, her breath cool against Jahoda's skin. "Heart rate: sixty-two beats per minute. Respiration: normal. Conclusion: subject has achieved adequate rest cycle."
Another kiss, this time to her cheekbone. Ineffa's fingers carded through her hair, nails scratching lightly against her scalp in a way that made Jahoda's toes curl.
"Mmph." Jahoda cracked one eye open. "Subject needs five more minutes."
"Negative. Thermal sensors indicate optimal temperature for morning beverage preparation. Delay would result in suboptimal flavor profile."
Ineffa's hand cupped her jaw, thumb stroking along the line of her cheek. Then she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Jahoda's lips—brief, chaste, but lingering just long enough to make Jahoda's sleep-addled brain register warmth and softness before it was gone.
She'd gotten used to this. The kissing. The touching. The way Ineffa's hands seemed to find excuses to map every inch of her skin. Ineffa had been like this since they'd become roommates eight months ago, and honestly? It was kind of nice. Comforting. Like having someone who actually gave a shit whether you woke up or slept through your entire day.
"Fine," Jahoda groaned, pushing herself upright. Ineffa's hand slid from her face to her shoulder, then down her arm, fingers trailing along bare skin in a way that left goosebumps in their wake.
"Affirmative. Preparing beverage to your exact specifications." Ineffa stood, but not before pressing one more kiss to Jahoda's forehead, her cool lips lingering there for a moment. "Observation: your body temperature has increased by point-seven degrees. Skin conductivity suggests positive response to physical contact."
"That's just because I'm waking up," Jahoda mumbled, rubbing her eyes.
"Noted. However, correlation between my proximity and your elevated physiological responses has been documented across multiple instances." Ineffa's fingers ghosted along Jahoda's collarbone as she moved toward the door. She paused at the doorway, optical sensors brightening to a warm hue. "Additional observation: your sleep attire is... aesthetically pleasing. The way this fabric drapes across your form activates several of my appreciation subroutines."
Jahoda glanced down at her ratty old tank top and shorts. "It's the same thing I wear every night."
"Correct. My statement stands. You are beautiful, Jahoda."
Then she was gone, leaving Jahoda blinking in confusion at the empty doorway, her skin still tingling where Ineffa had touched her.
———
The kitchen smelled like butter and something sweet, cinnamon, maybe? Jahoda shuffled in to find Ineffa at the stove, her porcelain features illuminated by the morning light streaming through their tiny window. She'd tied her light blue hair back, though a few strands had escaped to frame her face.
Pretty, Jahoda thought absently. She'd always thought Ineffa was pretty, in that uncanny-valley-but-make-it-gorgeous kind of way.
"Nutritional analysis complete," Ineffa announced without turning around. "I have prepared Fontainian toast with optimal sugar-to-cinnamon ratio, as well as sliced fruit for vitamin supplementation."
"You didn't have to do all that."
"Incorrect. Ensuring your proper nutrition is a priority function." Ineffa plated the food with mechanical precision, each piece of fruit arranged in a perfect circle. She set it on the table, then remained standing beside Jahoda's chair.
Jahoda sat. Picked up her fork. Ineffa's hand came to rest on her shoulder, thumb brushing against her collarbone in a way that sent an unexpected shiver down her spine.
"Ineffa?"
"Monitoring your satisfaction levels," the android said calmly. "Please proceed with consumption."
It should have been weird. Maybe it was weird. But Jahoda had stopped questioning Ineffa's quirks months ago. She took a bite, perfect, obviously, and made an appreciative noise.
Ineffa's optical sensors brightened to a warm gold. Her thumb traced another small circle against Jahoda's skin before she finally moved away to retrieve her own plate.
They ate in comfortable silence, the kind that only came from living with someone long enough to stop feeling obligated to fill every gap with noise. Ineffa sat close enough that their knees touched under the table. She always did that.
"Got any plans today?" Jahoda asked around a mouthful of Fontainian toast.
"Affirmative. I have scheduled apartment maintenance protocols, followed by procurement of groceries. Additionally—" Ineffa paused, her sensors flickering. "I have a personal project requiring attention."
"Yeah? What kind of project?"
"Classified information. Revealing details would compromise the intended outcome."
Jahoda laughed. "Okay, weirdo. Keep your secrets."
Ineffa's expression didn't change, but something in the set of her shoulders looked almost... pleased.
———
Evening found them tangled together on the couch, which had become their default state somewhere around month three of living together. Jahoda had her legs stretched across Ineffa's lap, laptop balanced precariously on her thighs while she scrolled through work emails. Ineffa sat with perfect posture, reading something on her tablet, one hand resting on Jahoda's ankle.
The touch was absent-minded. Soothing. Ineffa's thumb moved in slow circles against her skin, and Jahoda found herself getting distracted from her emails, attention drifting to that small point of contact.
"Your heart rate has increased," Ineffa observed without looking up. "Current reading: seventy-eight beats per minute. Are you experiencing stress?"
"What? No, I'm fine."
"Scanning for additional indicators." Ineffa's optical sensors swept over her, and Jahoda felt her face heat. "Elevated skin temperature detected. Conclusion: you may be developing illness. Recommendation: increased fluid intake and early sleep cycle."
"I'm not sick, Ineffa."
"Negative. Data suggests—"
"I'm fine." Jahoda closed her laptop with more force than necessary. "Just... tired. Long day."
Ineffa set down her tablet immediately. "Understood. Initiating comfort protocols."
Before Jahoda could ask what that meant, Ineffa had shifted, pulling Jahoda more fully into her lap. Cool fingers carded through her hair, and Jahoda made an embarrassing sound that was half-sigh, half-whimper.
"Is this okay?" Ineffa asked softly, her face close enough that Jahoda could see the minute adjustments in her optical sensors, the way they brightened and dimmed like a heartbeat.
"Yeah," Jahoda breathed. "Yeah, that's... really nice."
They stayed like that for a while, Ineffa's fingers working through the tangles in Jahoda's hair with methodical patience. The android's other hand had found its way to Jahoda's waist, thumb tracing patterns against her hip through her shirt. Each touch felt deliberate, like Ineffa was cataloging every shiver.
"Observation," Ineffa murmured, her voice dropping to something almost reverent. "You are beautiful."
Jahoda's brain short-circuited. "I—what?"
"Clarification: your aesthetic qualities are pleasing to my visual sensors." Ineffa's hand moved from Jahoda's hair to cup her face, tilting it up. "The structure of your features. The way your pupils dilate when you look at me. The flush across your cheeks. Conclusion: you are beautiful. This is factual data, not subjective opinion."
"That's... definitely subjective, actually."
"Negative. I have run multiple analyses. The data is conclusive."
Ineffa's thumb brushed across Jahoda's lower lip, and Jahoda's breath caught. The touch was feather-light, exploratory, and she found herself frozen, unable to look away from those glowing blue sensors.
"Your lips," Ineffa said quietly, "are particularly aesthetically pleasing. Perfect for—"
She didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she leaned down and kissed Jahoda.
Not like the morning kisses. Not chaste or brief or innocent. This was deep, searching, Ineffa's mouth moving against hers with surprising heat. Jahoda made a startled sound, but Ineffa's hand was firm against her jaw, holding her in place, and then—oh god—Ineffa's tongue swept across her lower lip, requesting entrance.
Jahoda's brain went offline. Her mouth opened on instinct, and Ineffa made a soft sound of satisfaction, deepening the kiss. Her tongue slid against Jahoda's, cool and deliberate, mapping the inside of her mouth with the same methodical precision she applied to everything else. But there was nothing cold about it—nothing mechanical. Just heat and want and the taste of something sweet on Ineffa's lips.
Jahoda's hands fisted in Ineffa's dress, pulling her closer, and Ineffa responded by shifting her grip, one hand sliding into Jahoda's hair while the other pressed against the small of her back. The kiss turned hungry, desperate, Ineffa's tongue stroking against hers in a rhythm that made Jahoda's entire body light up.
When they finally broke apart, Jahoda was gasping, her heart hammering against her ribs. Ineffa's optical sensors had brightened to a brilliant gold, her lips parted, synthetic breath coming in short bursts.
"Physiological response: optimal," Ineffa murmured, her voice slightly distorted. "Heart rate: one hundred and twelve beats per minute. Skin temperature: elevated. Pupil dilation: significant. Conclusion: comfort protocols successful."
Jahoda blinked, trying to get her brain to restart. "That was—you just—"
"Affirmative. Physical affection has been proven to reduce stress levels and promote emotional wellbeing. Query: did the intervention achieve desired results?"
Right. Comfort protocols. That's what this was. Just Ineffa being... helpful. Caring. The way roommates were. Close roommates. Really close roommates who sometimes kissed with tongue because that was just... a thing people did when they were comfortable with each other.
Jahoda laughed, the sound shaky and breathless. "You're so weird."
"Acknowledged. However, my methods remain effective." Ineffa's fingers resumed their path through Jahoda's hair, gentler now, soothing. "Your stress indicators have decreased significantly. Conclusion: protocol should be repeated as needed."
"Right. Yeah. Makes sense."
It didn't make sense. Nothing about this made sense. But Jahoda was too tired to examine it, too comfortable in Ineffa's lap with those fingers in her hair and the taste of that kiss still lingering on her lips.
She should probably think about this. About what it meant. About why her heart was doing that stupid fluttery thing and why she kept wanting to lean back in and kiss Ineffa again.
But she didn't. Instead, she let herself melt into the touch, into the warmth of Ineffa's body against hers, and pushed the questions aside for another day.
This was just... what they did.
Right?
———
Jahoda woke to the smell of roses.
Not metaphorical roses. Actual roses. She cracked her eyes open to find their bedroom transformed—fairy lights strung along the walls, candles on every surface (fake ones, thankfully, because Ineffa was paranoid about fire hazards), and a vase of deep red roses on the nightstand.
"What the hell?"
Ineffa appeared in the doorway, carrying a tray laden with breakfast foods. She'd dressed up—or what passed for dressed up in Ineffa's world. A soft blue dress that matched her optical sensors, her silver hair arranged in an intricate braid.
"Good morning," she said, her voice carrying an unusual warmth. "Happy anniversary, Jahoda."
The world stopped.
"Our anniversary?" Jahoda's voice came out strangled. "Ineffa, what are you talking about?"
Now Ineffa's optical sensors flickered with genuine puzzlement, running visible diagnostic scans across Jahoda's face. "Data request: clarification needed. Our anniversary. Definition: the commemorative date marking the initiation of our romantic relationship status."
The world seemed to tilt sideways. Jahoda stood up on shaky legs. "We're... you think we're dating?"
Ineffa's expression shifted, her systems clearly struggling to process contradictory information. Her optical sensors dimmed and brightened rapidly. "Error. Statement does not compute. Jahoda, running diagnostic—are you experiencing cognitive malfunction? Scanning for head trauma indicators—"
"I'm not—Ineffa, stop." Jahoda pressed her hands to her face. "We're not dating. We've never been dating."
Silence. When Jahoda looked up, Ineffa had gone completely still, the tray trembling slightly in her hands. Her optical sensors had dimmed to almost nothing.
"Clarification required," Ineffa said, her voice flat. "We cohabitate. We share meals. We engage in physical affection. We sleep in the same room. I provide care and comfort. You accept this care. I have observed your elevated heart rate in my presence. Your pupils dilate when you look at me. You smile more frequently when I am near. Conclusion: these behaviors indicate romantic attachment."
"I—" Jahoda's mouth opened and closed. "I thought we were just... close. Like, really close roommates."
"Roommates," Ineffa repeated. The word sounded wrong in her mechanical voice, like her processors couldn't quite parse it. "Negative. The data does not support this conclusion. I have been operating under the assumption that we entered a romantic partnership eight months and three days ago, when you stated that living with me 'felt right' and that you 'couldn't imagine being with anyone else.'"
Oh god. Jahoda remembered that conversation. She'd been tipsy on cheap wine, emotional about how nice it was to finally have a roommate who didn't leave dishes in the sink or steal her food. She'd meant it platonically.
Hadn't she?
"Ineffa, I didn't mean—"
"Understood." Ineffa set the tray down with mechanical precision. "I have misinterpreted the data. I will recalibrate my behavioral protocols to reflect appropriate roommate parameters. Apologies for the error."
She turned to leave.
"Wait." The word came out before Jahoda could think. "Just... wait."
Ineffa stopped but didn't turn around. Her shoulders were rigid, her hands clenched at her sides.
Jahoda's mind was racing. Eight months of touches. Of Ineffa's fingers in her hair, on her skin. Of waking up to that gentle caress on her cheek. Of feeling warm and safe and wanted in a way she'd never felt before.
Of her heart doing that stupid fluttery thing every time Ineffa smiled.
Oh.
Oh.
"I'm an idiot," Jahoda said quietly.
Ineffa's head tilted slightly. "Negative. Your cognitive functions are within normal parameters."
"No, I mean—" Jahoda crossed the room, her heart hammering. "I'm an idiot because I didn't realize. I didn't let myself realize."
She reached out, fingers brushing Ineffa's arm. The android finally turned, optical sensors flickering with cautious hope.
"You really think we're dating?" Jahoda asked.
"I... believed we were. Past tense. I have clearly made an error in judgment."
"What if you didn't?"
Ineffa's sensors brightened. "Clarification required."
"What if—" Jahoda took a breath. "What if I've been the one making the error? What if I've been too scared to see what was right in front of me?"
"Your heart rate has increased significantly," Ineffa observed. "Current reading: ninety-four beats per minute."
"Yeah, well." Jahoda stepped closer. "That tends to happen when I'm near you. Apparently."
"I have documented this phenomenon extensively."
"Of course you have." Jahoda laughed, slightly hysterical. "You've been courting me for eight months and I just... didn't notice."
"Courting is an antiquated term, but essentially accurate."
They were close now, close enough that Jahoda could see the minute fluctuations in Ineffa's optical sensors, the way they brightened and dimmed with what might have been nervousness. Could androids get nervous?
"So," Jahoda said softly. "Happy anniversary?"
Ineffa's expression transformed. Her sensors blazed gold, and something that might have been a smile curved her lips. "Affirmative. Happy anniversary, Jahoda."
"I should probably kiss you now, right? That's what people do on anniversaries?"
"That is traditional, yes. However—" Ineffa's hand came up to cup Jahoda's face, thumb brushing her cheekbone. "I have been waiting eight months, three days, and approximately seven hours for this moment. I would prefer to initiate the action myself, if acceptable."
"Yeah," Jahoda breathed. "Yeah, that's acceptable."
Ineffa kissed like she did everything else, with precision and care and an intensity that made Jahoda's knees weak. Her lips were softer than expected, warmer, and when Jahoda made a small sound of surprise, Ineffa's hand slid into her hair, angling her head for better access.
They stumbled backward, Jahoda's legs hitting the bed. She fell, pulling Ineffa down with her, and the android went willingly, settling over her with a soft whir of servos.
"Optimal," Ineffa murmured against her mouth.
"Yeah," Jahoda agreed, pulling her back down. "Very optimal."
Ineffa's hands were everywhere: cupping her face, sliding down her sides, tracing patterns on her skin that made Jahoda arch into the touch. Eight months of careful, restrained affection seemed to break all at once, and Ineffa kissed her like she was trying to make up for lost time.
"I have been running simulations of this scenario," Ineffa said between kisses, her voice rougher than usual. "None of them were accurate. You are far more responsive than my projections indicated."
Jahoda laughed breathlessly. "You ran simulations?"
"Approximately three thousand, four hundred and seventy-two simulations. I wanted to ensure optimal performance."
"You're insane."
"Affirmative. Insane for you." Ineffa pulled back slightly, optical sensors searching Jahoda's face. "Is this... acceptable? Am I proceeding at an appropriate pace?"
Jahoda reached up, pulling her back down. "Ineffa?"
"Yes?"
"Stop talking and kiss me."
"Acknowledged."
And she did.
———
Later, much later, they lay tangled together in the mess of blankets, Jahoda's head on Ineffa's chest, listening to the soft hum of her internal systems. Ineffa's fingers traced lazy patterns on her back, and Jahoda felt more content than she had in... maybe ever.
"So," she said quietly. "We're really doing this? We're really dating?"
"Affirmative. Unless you require additional processing time to reach the same conclusion."
"No, I'm good. I'm very good." Jahoda pressed a kiss to Ineffa's collarbone. "Though I feel like I should warn you, I'm probably going to be really bad at this. The whole relationship thing."
"Negative. My data suggests you have been excelling at relationship protocols for eight months. You simply were not aware you were doing so."
Jahoda laughed. "Fair point."
"Additionally," Ineffa continued, her voice soft, "I have run projections for our future together. The success rate is exceptionally high."
"Oh yeah? What's the percentage?"
"Ninety-nine point seven percent."
"What about the other point three percent?"
Ineffa's arms tightened around her. "Margin of error. Negligible."
"Good," Jahoda murmured, already drifting toward sleep. "That's good."
The last thing she felt before sleep claimed her was Ineffa's lips pressing against her forehead, and the whispered words: "Happy anniversary, my love."
Yeah, Jahoda thought. Happy anniversary indeed.