Work Text:
Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought
Maybe I just wanna be yours
I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours
“What the hell is going on here?” Yona asks from the passenger seat of the police car.
Hak's already on it. Scrolling down his phone a few times he finds the answer “Annual amateur ballroom dancing competition.” He says from the middle back seat of the car as they watch the brightly colored contestants gathering and rehearsing around the building “Looks like they're gonna be here all week”
“We can't wait all week” Sergeant Geun Tae states seriously. And both detectives know it better than anyone.
They have been following this criminal's steps for months, and yet they haven’t found conclusive evidence to lock him up. Now a new witness had told them that the man kept his accounting books in the charity centre he owned, which he used to launder some of the money her earned by selling hard drugs all over New York. If this new lead is true, they will have everything they need to organize a raid and dismantle the entire cartel. But still, as they know too well, they have to act fast. This sort of operations can easily be ruined by a minor slip up and they have already been at it for too long. Too many witnesses have been involved. Too many loose ends. They are walking on thin ice and the precinct can't allow all the funding spend on this case to go to waste.
“So,” Yona asks, and Hak can hear it in her voice that she's got that smile on her face. This can't be good. She turns her whole body around to stare at him, crooking her eyebrow teasingly, a gesture that has always thrown him off balance “Wanna dance?”
“I do not” He retorts seriously, as if she didn't just make his whole body heat up like a damn teenager.
“Oh, come on!” She breaks character “Sarg?” She turns to her superior.
“Detective, what are you suggesting?” He asks, hiding his smile.
“ Amateur ballroom dancing ? Hello?” She looks at them both “How else are we gonna infiltrate? My friends, we are gonna sign up for that competition and there's nothing-”
“Oh no” Hak interrupts “No, no, no”
“-you can do about it”
“I'm off the case,” He bickers and she rolls her eyes “work it alone, I want no part in this”
“You are such a baby, Detective ” She argues.
“Yona, I won’t do it. I won’t-”
“Alright, alright, alright, you two married couple” The Sarg cuts them off with a smile.
“So you agree with this?” Hak asks him “There has to be a better way, Sarg”
“ There has to be a better way, Saaarg” She mocks him in a low voice “You went undercover as a florist last month! A florist ! You actually learned how to plant petunias!”
“That was different” Hak crosses his arms, already feeling the cold shiver that he gets whenever he loses a battle or is about to be publicly humiliated. This is both .
“Let me ask you something, Hak” Geun Tae says, staring at him through the mirror “Do you have a better idea?”
And there's that goosebump again.
He sucks at dancing. Oh gosh, he always has! He came out of the womb with two left feet and now Yona, of all people, has to see it?
Think of a better plan, think, think, think.
What if... No.
No!
“No” He crosses his arms and sinks into the back seat like a little child.
Yona gasps loudly and they both look at her “You know what this calls for?” She exclaims, excited.
“Please don't say thrift-”
“Thrift shop!”
The stairs and three of the five doors are being guarded by tall men with deadly eyes. When Hak (in his elegant brown 10 dollar suit that smells like someone died in it) walks towards the stairs he instantly gets blocked by one of them.
“Contestants on the first floor only” The man says, placing his gigantic hand in the middle of Hak's chest.
“Sorry, my bad” He offers nonchalantly.
“Oh, excuse my partner here” Yona exclaims in a funny accent “We came all the way from Texas and we can't, for the love of God, find the bathrooms!” She laughs and winks at the guard.
“Down the hall, to the left”
“Oh, thank you, thank you, good man” She waves as they walk away.
“Texas? Have you even been to Texas?”
“Who cares? How are we gonna get in? This guys don't seem to be moving anytime soon” She whispers as she scratches her left breast violently.
“You need a hand?” Hak smiles and waves his fingers in front of her.
“Oh shut up, this dress has so many sequins that I think I ate a few when I put it on”
“Don’t worry, it’ll come out… eventually” He smiles and she rolls her eyes at him, finally removing one of the ornaments that kept pinching her skin. He allows himself to take a second to look at her. Honestly, how can she look so gorgeous in a purple 6 dollar dress that someone probably wore to prom in 1995? Well, if she looks good in her unfitting cop uniform, what else can he possibly expect?
“What are you smiling at?” She hits him softly in the arm.
“At the fact that your dress makes you look like a peacock. A male one, that is” He laughs.
“Ha- ha- ha, when have you ever seen a purple peacock? Lay off the acid, Dan ” She jokes, using his undercover Dan cer name (that she gave him).
“Well, Joanne , it does have this blue circles in the back--”
“Okay, I already signed us up” The Sergeant says “You're both from Texas and I'm from Oregon”
“ Texas ” He mumbles, not believing this whole situation he got himself into. His stomach twists and turns when he hears the music. When did he decide to become a cop anyways? Is it too late to quit? He could still change his name and become a motorcycle mechanic in some place like Delaware, or join a band or something. It's never too late to learn bass guitar, right?
“Hey! Hak! I mean, Dan, are you here?” She waves her hand in front of him frantically, taking him out of his thoughts. He inhales deeply. “You're actually pale right now...”
“Yes, okay, alright, here it goes,” He takes a deep breath again “ Full disclosure: I suck at dancing. I just… suck. Always have. Don’t complain if both your feet get stepped on, probably at the same time. If our cover is blown and we fuck this case up I will make sure to write it on the report that this was all your brilliant idea, Joanne .” He winks at her sarcastically. Yona stares at him blankly, for once in her life, at loss for words “Now,” He clears his throat “Still wanna dance?” He offers her his right hand and she gives him a lopsided smile that, once again, turns his world upside down.
“ Hell yeah”
“Shit! You weren't kidding” She takes a step back, inching her feet away from his as much as possible.
“Nope”
She squints “Are you stepping on me on purpose?”
“Maybe” He smiles. But no, he isn't doing it on purpose, he's just a terrible dancer, and to make matters worse, his hand is on her waist and her smell crawls inside of him with each passing second, how could he concentrate with such delightful distraction?
“We're never gonna win this contest at this rate”
He snaps out of his thoughts “Ha! Win the contest? Are you crazy?”
“I'm competitive!”
“Yes, I know” And boy does he not know after more than 5 years working together, 3 of which he has spent with a major crush on the petite redhead that he can't seem to shake off. She once challenged the whole precinct to a bow and arrow competition, in which she proceeded to kick everyone's asses, including the captain. She keeps Uno cards at her desk and challenges whomever is near her whenever she's bored. Usually he's the first victim, since their desks are one in front of the other, so his ass has been kicked at every game of cards possible. And dices, and rock-paper-scissors. Actually, he's truly amazed by the fact that she hasn't lost a fortune on gambling.
“Ouch! Alright, can I teach you some moves so you won't step on me again?”
“You can try”
“Okay,” She takes a deep breath and presses herself against him a little more. Her left hand is on his right shoulder and her right hand is joined with his left one. He tries hard not to think much of this situation, for his nerves not to betray him once more, but at this point of his life he has stopped trying to keep his feelings at bay. She has always made him weak and dizzy, almost too inebriated to contain his urge to abandon everything else and kiss her everywhere. “Ready? Follow my feet, one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three” She commands, directing him with her body as she counts “Now extend your arm” Yona takes his right hand with her left one and separates from him at full arm distance and then, twirls in his direction, curling herself towards him until they’re facing each other again. He has never seen something so graceful in his life. She curves her back, holding her weight in his arm and he follows her movement almost mindlessly. He spies the curve of her neck and the beauty mark right in the middle of her clavicle. So beautiful. So out of reach. When she reincorporates, there's a smile on her lips that he wishes he could kiss away “See?, it's not that difficult”
“It is” He says seriously, but he doesn't mean the dancing. And maybe she knows what he means, because her smile fades slowly and she unwinds from him. She has a boyfriend, a fiancée, he reminds himself, even if it feels like he's being repeatedly stabbed in the lungs. She hasn’t talked about the wedding or the preparations for it during the whole assignment though, but he knows it’s still going to happen. “You're not completely terrible at this though, only kind of bad” He jokes, trying to break the awkwardness that he settled in himself.
She smiles, “Wow, you just won the award for the worst compliment ever” And for a second he could swear that she's blushing, but who could tell really, with all the weird lights reflecting in the contestants dresses? It must be his imagination, he thinks, if only not to play tricks on himself. Yona walks towards him and suddenly gasps, looking at a spot behind him.
“What?” Hak asks, turning around.
“Look at the Sar-- I mean-- that guy!” She exclaims, pointing in Sergeant Geun Tae's direction. “Where did he learn to do that ?” She asks as their superior spins his partner and takes her leg up his shoulder, swaying flawlessly to the rhythm like he was born with the music on his veins “He might actually win this!” She laughs.
The Sergeant catches their eye and dances towards them, surprisingly not missing a beat. Hak feels petrified for a second, not sure if he’s actually inside of a dream right now.
“Who are you?” He inquires, with a fake offended expression.
“Where did you learn to do that? You're kicking everyone's asses!” Yona exclaims excitedly.
“Guys, please, there's no time for nonsense. Spin .” He commands his partner; the dancer obliges “I checked the second floor with the help of the lovely Layla here”
“Hello” She waves.
“Hi” The Detectives say at the same time.
“Did you find something?” Hak asks.
“Nothing conclusive. We need names. We need those books.”
“We're on it, Sarg. I'll distract that guard right there, you go try to sneak in through the back” Yona instructs “Break a window if you have to, no one will hear it with all this music”
“Alright, boss” He jokes
“Just do it!”
“Guess who has four thumbs and just caught a big drug mafia fish!” She chants as she walks into the precinct “We did!” She points at herself with her thumbs and then looks at him “Come on, it doesn't work if you don't do it”
“We did” He says unenthusiastically, raising his thumbs slowly.
“ We did!”
Their colleges applaud as they walk across the room with the handcuffed criminal, knowing how important this case was for the precinct and the city. It is, indeed, one of the greatest accomplishments of his career, and yet his heart feels heavy and unexcited. And he knows exactly why.
“I think... that I'm in love with you” The words he spoke only 8 months ago assault him once again “I have been… for a while now.”
8 months have passed since that day in the parking lot. 8 months since he went undercover, and still here he is, in the exact same spot in life, with his feelings still shattered, unaltered. Unable to move on for good.
He infiltrated a net of human trafficking and saw more crap in four months than ever before, and still she was the only thing he wanted to see when he came back. And when he did, he felt a weight in his chest so big he could have cried like a child had he not been in public.
“I think... that I'm in love with you” He had said to her before leaving, and his words echoed in the dark parking lot they were in “I have been… for a while now” He smiles sadly “And I have realized that what terrifies me the most about all this is not even the mission or what will come of it, it’s… leaving without ever telling you how much I…”
“Hak… I-”
“Wait... I know this is unfair to you, and that I'm a coward, but if I never see you again... I just thought...” He looked at her in the eyes and almost choked. This had seemed so much easier in his head, where the distance between them didn’t feel so damn big and cruel “...that you should know how I feel. This is how I feel. How I've felt for the past... years.” And she was speechless, like there was nothing in the world that she could say to respond. Just one look to the ring on her finger was enough to remind him why “Goodbye, Yona.”
He walked towards his car in complete silence, blushing up to his ears at the embarrassment of his confession and yet feeling a little lighter than before. Finally he had said it, and that was enough victory for a whole month.
“Hak!” She called for him when he was just about to enter his car “Don't you dare die! You hear me?” She yelled at him in a broken voice. He smiled “Don't you dare!”
That was just enough. With those words lingering inside of him, he headed towards his assignment in peace.
She had gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 3 years only a few weeks before that.
He never spoke about his feelings for her ever again. And yet there they were, loudly galloping in his chest every time he was near her.
The next four months of his reinstatement as a cop were hard, between mandatory therapy and tons of work his feelings became ever more encapsulated and, with time, less painful. His therapist told him he should find a method to move on, and Hak thought that if 4 months of hell didn't make it, then probably nothing would; but he didn't say it, because what's the point even? He was fucked and there were no pills that could fix it.
Things with Yona were normal enough, excluding the awkwardness of those few times she caught him staring at her. If only she knew how hard he thought about all the kisses he could press onto her neck, all the noises he would like to elicit from her, how he would make her shake and shiver with every touch. If only she knew! Maybe she did, after all, but she didn't say anything about it, and he acted as if it had never happened. She was still engaged.
Why is she still Engaged instead of being Just Married ? Is the question that haunts him. But who cares. It's not like he has any hope at all.
As the Sarg walks the criminal towards the interrogation room for some routinary questions, their colleges ask them the details of the arrest, and Yona explains them with extreme detail the “amazing” operation the three of them pulled off. It had been, indeed, amazing. It also had been so long since they worked a case like this together that he's more than a little sad that it's over. Somehow, he doesn't feel like talking about it right now, so he sneaks out of the gathering and into the other side of the unilateral mirror of the interrogation room. There's nothing interesting to hear though, but it's better than being out there, hearing the juicy details of the feat he accomplished next to the love of his damn life. His heart is being irrational and all he wants is to go home and drink a cold beer and clear his thoughts, or twist them even more. Anything, but away from the precinct.
“Why did you run away?” Her voice startles him. He probably didn't hear her coming in because he was too busy rubbing his face with both hands in an effort to pull himself together.
“Oh, what? Nothing” He answers, fixing his fumbled hair “I just wanted to hear the interrogation”
She squints, smelling the lies in his words “Right”
“I can let you know if there's anything interesting, though” He turns his back on her, suddenly aware, again, that this case is over and they probably won't work together in a long while “you can take a-”
“Hak” Once more, she startles him. Her voice sounds closer than he thought she was.
He feels goosebumps travelling down his spine. This can't be good.
“What?” He asks, still not able to face her.
“I really liked working with you again”
He laughs “Did you now?”
“I did” She answers, seriously. “Would you look at me?”
But he doesn't know if he can, or if he should, because right now it feels like his emotions could overrule his reasoning and he could kiss her senseless against this very same glass “Yona...” He covers his face with both hands again, in a desperate measure to contain his bursting heart “I'm very tired, I'm just gonna go--”
“You idiot!, just look at me, alright? I'm trying to talk to you!” She nags and he sighs. He might as well listen to her and get it over with so he can go on about his day.
“Okay, okay, I'm sorry” He turns around, to find Yona's blushing face before him “What's up, boss ? Are you okay?”
“Yes-No... I don't know...” She avoids his eyes this time
“What is it, then?”
She clears her throat “That I... I think that...”
“You're acting weird, just spit it out”
And she looks at him, a little angry and a little resigned. Instead of talking, she raises her naked left hand for him to see.
“What?” He asks, clueless. Yona sighs frustratedly, as if he was the dumbest being on earth. Taking a step towards him, she shows him her hand again. It still takes him a while to get the message, but when he finally does it hits him like a truck and a train combined.
No ring.
There's no ring.
She hasn’t been wearing it-
Holy fuck
He stays silent and fixated on the little white stripe on her finger, proof that the ring stayed there for a while and was taken off, hopefully for good.
She lowers her hand slowly, and the way she holds his gaze awakens all of his deepest instincts. All of the sudden, she is free to be loved by him, he is free to be in love with her.
“I'm single”
“Yes”
“What you said… before leaving, did you mean it?”
“Yes”
“Because it fucked me up”
“I'm sorry”
“You still love me?”
“Yes”
“Then kiss m-”
But before she's done talking he's owning her lips the way his insides have been aching him to do for so damn long . Too damn long. His arms hold her weight as he lifts her from the floor, yet he's the one who feels like flying.
“Hak” She whispers into his lips.
“Yona”
“I really didn't want this case to be over”
“Me neither” He smiles
“Hak”
“Yes?”
“I'm glad you danced with me”
“Don't get used to it”
“Too late”