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It's October, and Harry knew he shouldn't be on the roof.
The season of Autumn had welcomed itself to the city of Manchester. Pouring buckets of rain and ghastly winds colder than the ocean on a dark night had dampened the streets, causing the once lovely summer to disintegrate right before their eyes. No more summer wear, no more swimmers. Sunny days and hot spells of up to thirty degrees were long gone and in their place were days which made Harry not want to leave the house. Right now it was so chilly outside that Harry's mother Anne had advised him not to go outside that night, and instead stay in his room so that he wouldn't catch a cold - however this day had been planned in Harry's head for years and now it was finally time for it to happen.
October 8th was the day he met his best friend and (who he would label) his soulmate Louis Tomlinson. After a messy divorce from her first husband, Johannah Tomlinson (then Poulston) had moved herself and her son to Manchester from the small town of Doncaster, in hopes of a fresh start. Harry had been playing in the front garden, he was only three at the time and was far too young to go to school. He remembers seeing the car as it turned onto their street and then pull into the empty house next door, along with a moving truck a few moments later. Harry stopped playing with his dinosaurs and looked over in curiosity. A woman stood in the driveway, her long brown hair blowing softly in the autumn breeze. Her hand clutched onto a smaller one, and Harry noticed that next to her stood a young boy who was bouncing restlessly next to the older woman. Harry watched as the boy looked around, obviously bored and impatient. Harry watched as the boy's gaze fell upon him, as blue eyes met green, as one world collided with another.
The boy immediately removed his hand from his mother's grip and bolted for the curly haired boy. He ran at full speed, not noticing his mother screaming behind him or the large sprinkler that sat in the garden bed that divided the houses. The boy immediately tripped over it and face planted onto the lawn. Harry immediately burst into delighted laughter at the boy's fall, and the boy lifted his head off the grass, staring over at the smaller boy with a bright grin on his face.
"Oops" Harry giggled and the boy continued grinning, getting up so that he could come over to the three year old.
"Hi" The boy greeted waving at Harry "Can I play please?"
Harry nodded and within a second the boy was sitting down, grabbing a dinosaur and creating an imaginary scenario for the game.
"My name is Louis" The boy - Louis - had told Harry in the midst of their game.
Harry looked over at him "I'm Harry!"
"Harry's a cool name" Louis stated and Harry couldn't help but beam over at him.
"What are those?" Louis had asked, indicating to the dimples that dented Harry's cheeks.
“I think my mummy calls them dimples"
"Well, I think those are cool too"
The boys continued playing and soon the woman from next door came over whilst Anne, Harry's mother came outside. The two women introduced one another along with their children to each other and soon the two mum's were getting along as if they were old friends. Harry and Louis played that whole day, either with the dinosaurs or on the swing set in Harry's backyard. Harry was so happy to have a friend for the first time ever and was devastated when his mother told him that Louis had to go home. Though Louis promised that he would see Harry every day and gave him the biggest hug before he headed back home.
And he never broke that promise.
Harry opened his bedroom window, immediately smelling the frost of the night. The roof outside Harry's window was cold, so he dragged out his blanket and placed it on the slanted tiles before stepping out and sitting down on it. He wore his green beanie and had tucked his unruly curls into it so that he could stick it far down as possible. The beanie didn't protect his face though and he could feel his nose turning red and his lips going blue. He brought his legs to his chest and buried his face in his knees, as the cold winds from outside became harsher and harsher.
The roof tradition was something that was created many years ago in the month of March - when Harry and Louis were seven and nine respectively. The boys' rooms were opposite each other, so when one looked out the window, they could see right into the bedroom of the other. Louis had gotten walkie talkies for his seventh birthday and since then the two would talk through them whilst looking at each other through their windows. However, with Louis being two grades ahead and had started after school activities, Harry barely had gotten the time to see him in person. So one warm spring day whilst the two of them were holed up in Harry's room doing homework, Harry proposed the idea.
"We could make it work Lou!" Harry cheered "We'll take turns; one of us will be the one to cross the gap each night whilst the other makes sure there is food to share"
Louis looked up from his notebook and pursed his lips at the younger lad "But Haz, don't you think it's dangerous?"
Harry rolled his eyes "Louis when are you ever not doing something dangerous?"
Louis furrowed his eyebrows "When it involves you. You know I don't want you getting hurt Harry"
"I'm seven Louis! I'm a big kid now!"
Louis still had a stern expression on his face but Harry knew he had already won him over. Louis pouted and huffed but his eyes shined from the thrill and excitement.
"Okay" Louis relented "You get the food and I'll meet you on the rooftop at the usual time, okay?"
The usual time was nine pm, and Harry was practically bustling with excitement. In his arms he held a box of lollies given to him for his birthday the previous month. He placed them down and pushed open his window, so that it was wide open for him to get out of. He grabbed the box and the small blanket he had and dumped them on the roof, before getting his stool and getting up on it so that he could hoist himself onto the roof side.
The roofs of their two houses, went over the dividing fence so that there was only less than a metre gap. Louis could easily cross it, and Harry knew he could too. Though he understood that Louis was scared, he was always scared when it came to Harry. Harry happened to be a bit of a clutz.
Harry watched with excitement as Louis entered his bedroom and shut the door behind him. He grinned over at Harry and sprinted for the window which he opened with ease. He climbed over the ledge and slowly, hesitantly made his way to the edge of the rooftop. With one swift motion, he leaped across onto the other rooftop where he landed as light as a feather. Now he was right in front of Harry, continuing to grin like the Cheshire cat.
"Good idea Haz" Louis commented as he sat himself down next to him and began eating out of the box of lollies "I could get used to this"
The tradition continued for years, with Louis doing most of the leaping over but occasionally letting Harry. The two boys would talk for hours, about their days at school and about their friends and about life in general. Louis always talked about his friends Stan, Liam and Zayn, along with his sister Lottie. Though soon he gained three new sisters; Fizzy, then the twins Phoebe and Daisy - and he always talked about the new things they had learned. He would also talk about footy which always seemed to be his favourite thing to talk about… well beside’s Harry. Harry talked about his friends Niall and Perrie, about his writing and poetry, about Gemma's string of dates. She had started dating when they were both twelve and fourteen, and Louis and Harry pranked the hell out of the guys that Gemma brought over. Although they got in trouble for it, it was worth it cause it made Gemma absolutely livid.
Though whenever Harry sat out on the rooftop, he didn't care about talking about his day or Gemma's boyfriends. What he loved most of all was listening to Louis talk. The way he became animated and intense, and always made each story so lively that Harry was sure he was listening to a professional author tell a story.
Though lately the rooftop talks had become less frequent and not as long. Louis was busy with his A levels, and being captain of the local football team, and having a social life. Last Harry had heard Louis was dating a girl called Hannah who was pretty and blonde and totally Louis' type. Harry on the other hand hadn't dated at all and was hiding a secret he hadn't told anyone. The secret being that he was gay.
He had known since he was fourteen, when he realized that whilst his friends were obsessing over the new girl Melanie Costello, he didn't really fancy her in the slightest. Instead all he could think about was Louis, and how pretty Louis looked - but in a masculine way- and how he had the most beautiful eyes. It was then that panic had risen in Harry and he had gone home sick, and hadn't shown up back at school for a week.
He didn't have the courage to tell anyone so he kept it hidden, especially from Louis. The secret caused him to drift away from his best friend and not want to see him as often. He knew he hurt Louis by doing that but it was the only way he could resolve his feelings over Louis.
However, Harry learnt that feelings like that don't go away in a heartbeat, or a minute, or a week, or a month or even a year. And now Harry had kept this secret for too long and needed to tell his best friend the truth.
He had arranged the meeting that day. He’d gone into the building that the A level students learnt in at recess and left a note inside of Louis' locker. He hoped Louis received it and hadn't just missed it - or even worse ignored it. So as Harry's watch chimed nine, he looked up into Louis' bedroom and waited patiently for any sign of life from his best friend. After a few minutes, the light turned on and in walked Louis with his gym bag still hanging off his shoulder and his uniform still on. He placed the gym bag on the bed and got changed right then and there, causing Harry's eyes to widen until they were giant ovals. Once changed, Louis turned in the direction of Harry and flashed him a small smile. He then hesitantly made his way over to the window and opened it wide, before leaning on the sill and staring straight into Harry's still wide eyes. Harry knew that Louis could see from his face that he was obviously still very flustered.
"It's nothing you haven't seen before Haz" Louis sung cheekily, causing a small burst of laughter to escape Harry's shivering lips.
"You are such a tease" Harry croaked, making it into a joke. This caused Louis to begin to cackle. The truth was, he was a tease because Harry was getting hard just seeing the eighteen year olds abs and milky legs. However he would never admit that to Louis because he just needed Louis as his friend, not his lover. Well at least he thought he did.
Louis jumped over the window sill with ease and stepped over the gap, before crouching down and sitting himself next to Harry.
"So, what's up kid?" Louis asked, turning his face so he could look Harry in the eye "Why have you been avoiding me? And don't say you haven't because we both know that's a lie"
It was then that Harry panicked because as much as he thought about the “when and where” of the setting to tell Louis; he never thought about what or how to tell him about his sexuality. He wanted to explain everything, but he didn't know where to start - he didn't know how to tell this story without mentioning that it was his major crush on Louis that caused him to realize his true sexuality. Right now, he was sitting in the cold evening air, looking at the beautiful blues that he had been staring at for the past thirteen years, the blues that haunted his dreams every night and he didn't know what to say. A choked sound escaped from his lips but that was all he could force out, he was at a lost for words.
Louis smiled slightly, and soon Harry was being pulled into Louis' muscular side whilst an arm was being wrapped around his waist. The position was familiar and Harry found himself resting his head on Louis' shoulder, despite his better judgement. He could smell Louis' sweat from footy practice, and the mud that covered his skin. Though he could also smell the faint scent of cologne that lingered in his pores and his usual kiwifruit smelling shampoo. Harry found comfort in those scents, because they were all so… Louis. If someone blindfolded him and made Louis stand within a two feet radius, Harry could pinpoint exactly where he was.
"I've missed this" Louis spoke, his voice breaking the lingering silence "You see Haz, it's been hard lately for me... I've been under all this pressure. Next year you'll see how hard A levels are and you'll see how hard it is to keep up with everything. Not only is the course load fucking massive but let's not forget that I am captain of the football team and I not only had to lead a bunch of guys to victory but I had to keep up my football playing skills if I want to get a football scholarship. Let's not forget as well that I have to apply for said scholarships and see what universities I want to go to which is hard to tell since the websites are so poorly constructed. Oh and don't get me even started on having a social life because some of my friends just don't seem to get that I don't have time for them as much as I used to and I can't hang out with them all the time"
Harry watched with wide eyes as Louis took a deep breath.
"What sucks the most though Harry is that I haven't had my best friend for a long time. I understand that something must have happened for you to shut me out like you have and I just want to know. I love you so much and I need you here by my side always. So please, please tell me why you have been avoiding me for so long?"
Harry doesn't even need to think then. He doesn't analyse it nor wait for his brain to mouth filter to kick in. He just blurts it out straight.
"I'm gay"
Silence looms over them once again - Louis sitting there with a blank face and Harry with an anxious one. He bites his lip to stop it from wobbling and stares at Louis with so much intensity as he awaits his reaction to his two word statement.
Next thing he knows Louis is bursting into laughter, his heartfelt genuine laughter that makes Harry's heart soar. His eyes are crinkled and his head is thrown back, as he laughs and laughs and laughs until the silence of the cool night has faded and in it's replacement is the melodic sounds that are coming out of Louis' perfect lips. Harry, however, is confused and raises an eyebrow in an attempt to get an answer out of Louis.
"I'm sorry" Louis chuckles, wiping under his eye "I just found it funny that after all this time of you ignoring me, it was all because you were gay? Come on Harry you know I don't give a shit whatsoever, I mean I can't believe you would ignore me all this time because -"
"It just wasn't because I was gay" Harry interrupted "It was because it was me realizing that I was in love with you that made me understand that I happened to be gay"
The silence was back.
This time it was tenser then it was before and Harry finds himself looking away from Louis. He doesn't want to see the expression on his face because he knows what it most likely will be - disgust. He never meant to tell Louis his feelings and it was so obvious that this night was not going the way Harry had hoped it would. Harry had knew all along that Louis wouldn't hate that he was gay, wouldn't admonish it or see it as a negative aspect surrounding Harry. Louis was a kind and accepting individual which was one of the things that Harry loves about him. However, Harry knew that would all be thrown out the window when Louis realized that he a straight guy, was the reason Harry knew of his feelings. When he realised that Harry had sexual thoughts about him, and basically projected heart eyes at him every chance he got.
Harry had just blurted the one thing that was going to drive his best friend away from him and it hurt.
Harry's heart was constricting and he was afraid he was going to cry at any moment. His eyes became glassy as tears threatened to spill and all he could so was stay still with clenched fists as he willed himself not to look over at Louis.
Though after five minutes, he felt a pair of eyes on him and he could feel himself slipping. Soon, he lost his mental battle and slowly turned his gaze towards his best friend and was surprised by the site he saw. Louis was staring straight at him, with his eyes shining brightly and his lips curved into a fond smile. Slowly, the older boy reached for the younger's hand and clasped it in his own. Louis traced his thumb over the knuckles as he stared into Harry’s pooling green eyes - the eyes he’d grown up with.
"First of all Harry, if you had bothered to talk to me you'd realize that I am gay too" Louis started off "Have been out for 'bout a year now, only to my family and of course Stan, Liam and Zayn. I wanted to tell you that more than anything Haz, but you were keeping your distance and I could see you didn't want to talk to me so I left it. Though to hear that you were separating yourself from me because of the same thing. It kills me Harry because if I had known so much sooner, this conversation wouldn't be happening the same way and maybe, just maybe we could have been doing something completely different with this special night"
Harry couldn't say anything, but he gave Louis a look which spoke words loud and simple: you remembered?
"Of course I remembered Harry" Louis answered Harry's unspoken question "It's not likely you forget the anniversary of the time you met your best friend - hell I’d call you my soulmate even. That brings me to my other point; you said you came to terms with being gay because you realized you were in love with me. Well guess what you oblivious twit, that was the same thing that happened with me. I realized that I was gay when I had a dirty dream about my younger curly haired friend. It freaked me the fuck out Haz, and it took me ages to actually process it all. But then I realized that I, Louis Tomlinson, was actually in love with my best friend Harry Styles and there was no doubt that I was gay. God, I'm so in love with you that you don't even know, I mean Harry there is no world that I have ever been straight. I always thought that you were straight, with all the girls throwing themselves at you"
The tears that were brimming in Harry's eyes before had now made their way down his cheeks. His lips wobbled as he tried to contain the sob that threatened to escape. The love of his life had reciprocated his feelings in the most heartfelt speech possible, how could he keep it together? Louis' eyes had also become foggy but Harry watched as he blinked them away and instead lifted his other hand to wipe away the warm ones that were stained to Harry's cheeks. A warm blush crept to his cheeks which made Louis smirk and slowly moved his hand so that he was cupping the younger man's jaw.
"I met you thirteen years ago today" Louis whispered "How did I get so lucky?"
That was when Harry lost it, bursting into a fit of tears as the emotions he tried to bottle up overwhelmed him to the point where he couldn't stop them any longer. Sob after sob racked Harry's body and a waterfall of tears poured and poured down Harry's flushed cheeks. Louis pulled the wrecked man into his lap and whispered that he loved him over and over into Harry's ear as he petted his hand through his curls. It took a while but soon Harry found himself calming down and the feeling of euphoria taking over his once emotional state.
He looked down at his best friend and flashed him a watery smile "I should of just told you sooner"
Louis giggled "I think it would have saved us a lot of time"
Harry could feel his hot breath against his neck and it caused chills to run down his spine.
"I love you Louis Tomlinson, you crazy assed blue eyed man"
"And I love you too Harry Styles, you neurotic, curly haired boy"
And as the cold air of the deep blue night kissed their skin, the two boys kissed each other.