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Minhyuk sighed while looking through the window. He was alone in the room he shared with I.M. and Jooheon. The seven of them just came back from a fan sign a few minutes ago and as soon as they got into the apartment, Minhyuk ran inside of their bedroom and locked the door. He heard Hyungwoo’s voice calling him together with Jooheon, and he also heard the knocks at the door. They were asking him to unlock it and talk to them but Minhyuk was so embarrassed. He didn’t want to talk with anyone.
Minhyuk’s sexuality wasn’t a secret for any of the members, so he felt betrayed by them the moment they asked Wonho to perform a lap dance for him in front of everyone. Of course, he had to play it cool. He thought that Wonho was the only one who noticed how uncomfortable he was, but sooner than later the rest of the members found out and Minhyuk had to play it cool saying it was ok… Until Wonho said what he said.
“It’s not that bad… Believe me when I say it was even more uncomfortable for me. You probably enjoyed a lot.”
Wonho had this thing for saying the worst combination of words he could find and make you feel worse…
Minhyuk sighed again, and placed his forehead against the glass of the window.
-Well… I’m sorry I’m too disgusting to you. -Minhyuk said in a low voice, wishing he had replied to Wonho like that in that moment. But he was so shocked by Wonho's words.
Shownu and Jooheon were there in the van trying to make him feel better, and even Kihyun apologized saying that he should have thought first about his feelings and that he was sorry. But when Wonho spoke from his seat, the members just stared at him in silence.
“What?” -Wonho said then- “He’s just acting like it was a big deal to have me doing that… But I was the one doing it, ok? I felt uncomfortable as well, maybe even more than him but I’m not-“
Wonho could not even finish. Shownu spoke, asking him to shut up in the most serious voice Minhyuk ever heard from him. Wonho just closed his mouth, looked away and crossied his arms in front of his chest.
The members went to their seats and Shownu sat closer to Minhyuk, in case Minhyuk felt like touching someone and talking nonstop as he usually would do in the van. But Minhyuk just kept quiet the whole time and ran into the room as soon as they got to the apartment.
When Shownu and Jooheon couldn’t get him to open the door, he heard Shownu calling Wonho. And he knew things outside were about to get wild. He heard their voices through the door, they were arguing but he couldn’t understand that much.
Minhyuk’s thoughts stopped when he heard the low music playing from one of his bags. It was his cellphone so he walked and took it from one of the pockets. Wonho’s name was on the screen and Minhyuk made a face, not wanting to answer. The phone stopped ringing and the next thing Minhyuk’s saw on the screen was the small notification saying he had a new message.
He frowned when Wonho’s name appeared again on the screen but proceeded to read what probably was the shortest text he ever received.
From Hoseok:
“I’m sorry”
Minhyuk rolled his eyes and didn’t even think about replying. He was mad at the older and he wouldn’t waste his time writing about how ignorant and rude Wonho were acting. Plus, apologizing through a text was so childish. How old was he? Twelve?
His phone made a low sound again and Minhyuk’s attention went back to the small device in his hand. There was a new notification, showing “Hoseok” as the sender again.
From Hoseok:
“Can we talk?”
Minhyuk bit his lower lip.
He didn’t want to be like that with any of the members, and it was going to be hard for him to act cool the next day since they had schedule… And he had to unlock the door soon, Jooheon and Changkyun needed to sleep. With resignation, he typed and answer.
To Hoseok:
“Did Shownu ask you to talk with me?”
Minhyuk waited for an answer and sat at the edge of his bed.
From Hoseok:
“Maybe he did. I’m an idiot and I just… I don’t know. Can we talk, Minhyukkie? Please?”
Minhyuk was biting his lower lip again. There was only two options; fucking everything up even more and saying he didn’t want to talk with such a poop or solve the problem. He sighed and typed only one word.
To Hoseok:
“Outside”
The white haired got up and unlocked the door. Jooheon was sat on the floor, and looked to Minhyuk as soon as the door was open.
-Are you ok? -Jooheon asked while standing up, looking at Minhyuk with concerned eyes- I thought you were going to be there all night long… You know, we don’t care about what you like… I mean, we care but it’s not a big deal if you like boys and not girls, we just…
-Joohoney… -Minhyuk spoke with husky, soft voice and a little smile starting to appear in his lips.- I like both. -Corrected and then continued- I know you’re ok with it, I thought all of you were but…
-I am. -Said a new voice.
Minhyuk and Jooheon stared at Wonho who was standing a few meters away from them, almost in the hallway to the livingroom. Jooheon gave him a dead stare but Wonho looked directly to Minhyuk, avoiding Jooheon’s eyes.
-Are you ready? -Asked the blonde.
-Yes, I’m ready to kick you. -Replied Jooheon and Minhyuk smiled a little. He was still upset at Wonho, but Jooheon was being too funny for him to keep a straight face.
-I’m going to talk with Hoseok, ok? -Minhyuk said to Jooheon.
-I’m not sure if I want you to talk with him… But I’m sure Hyunwoo doesn’t want you any place near him.
-We have schedule tomorrow. -Minhyuk explained- We need to solve this.
-Yeah, we have schedule… -Jooheon gave him the reason- But he’s an idiot.
-Jooheon… -Wonho said but Jooheon didn’t gave him time to continue.
-I’m not going to tell Shownu that you’re talking with him… -Jooheon said to Minhyuk and then looked at Wonho- But if you do something to Minhyuk, you can be sure Shownu’s going to be the last of your worries.
-Uhm… Okay? -Wonho said while Jooheon entered the bedroom.
Minhyuk waited for Jooheon to enter to the bedroom and close the door, and as soon he did Minhyuk started to walk to the entrance of the apartment. He didn’t had to say anything to Wonho, Hoseok just followed him in silence and as soon as they got to the roof of the building (one of Minhyuk’s favorite places to spend time alone), Wonho spoke.
-I’m sorry about what happened… I didn’t mean it like that, I just… -Minhyuk looked at the older for a few seconds but when Wonho didn’t continue he proceeded to walk to the edge of the building and sat in the ground a few meters away from it.
Wonho looked at Minhyuk’s back and started to walk to him after sighing.
The night was starting to get cold and he was pretty sure he would get sick if he stayed there for too long. But he needed to talk to Minhyuk and explain himself, otherwise the younger would treat him different and he didn’t want that. God only knew how much he was scared of that.
Wonho sat at the left side of Minhyuk and then the white-haired boy spoke.
-You know… -Minhyuk spoke without looking at Wonho- I actually have never said this to anyone… But when I got to debut with you guys, back in No.Mercy, I was relieved and scared at the same time. -Minhyuk sighed, nervously. It was so cold that Wonho could see Minhyuk’s breath- I had been waiting for that opportunity for years but I was so terrified of the idea of spending days and nights with all of you. In the beginning it was weird for me and I was not sure about how to let you know about me and the way I felt towards boys, and I wasn’t sure if I could tell you or if it was better to just keep it to myself. But I realized you would know it either way so… -Minhyuk looked to Wonho- You know… I thought you were ok with it.
-I am. -Wonho repeated himself, using the same intonation he used in the apartment- What I said… I know it sounded like I was being selfish. But that wasn’t what I meant.
-I understood what you said. -Minhyuk spoke again, nodding- I know you didn’t feel comfortable because maybe I would like it and…
-It’s not like that. -Wonho interrupted and then looked away, trying to find the best words to explain himself- I know it was weird for you. I felt that while I was doing it, you just got all tensed up and...
-That’s not what you said in the van.
-I know what I said. -Wonho replied, looking a little frustrated when it seemed like he couldn’t find the correct words to explain himself- It’s just…
Minhyuk waited in silence and Hoseok looked at him while licking his lower lip, still frustrated. He bit his lip then before talking.
-I thought that you would like it and I just got mad that you didn’t.
-Well, sorry. But It’s not like I’m into every guy on Earth. -Minhyuk said, sounding upset- I don’t know why every straight guy thinks that we’re…
-Ugh… -Wonho said, rolling his eyes and let himself fell back on the ground. He used one of his arms to cover his eyes and Minhyuk just looked at him.
-What? -Minhyuk said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He didn’t know if it was because of the cold or he was just being defensive.
-Nothing. -Hoseok answered, moving his arm so he could look at Minhyuk’s face. Minhyuk looked like an angel, palest than ever in the cold and staring at him with a frown- I’m just so bad at talking that I don’t even know how I got to sing. -Hoseok said- I’m better at showing how I feel than explaining, you know?
- And what are you going to do? Punch me? -Minhyuk said and Wonho made a gesture, asking the younger to get closer.
Minhyuk frowned but proceeded to lay on the ground, just like Wonho was doing. The blonde rolled over, getting even closer to the white-haired boy.
-I’m really sorry at what I said… -Wonho repeated again- What I wanted to say is that… -He nervously licked his lower lip and when Minhyuk thought that Hoseok wouldn’t continue, he did- Fuck, I like you.
-What? -Minhyuk looked at the older boy as if he could not listen very well.
-I just got mad because I thought that you would like to have a boy doing that for you, but you were so uncomfortable… I know you’re not supposed to feel attracted to every guy you meet, but we have been knowing each other for more than a year now and I’ve been feeling this way towards you and I thought that maybe you would like me back... So I just kind of got mad because I just realized that you don’t feel the same way as me. And I’m truly sorry, I’m an idiot. -Hoseok finally explained, speaking too fast as if he was worried that he would lose the correct words to explain or maybe he was just scared of losing the courage he suddenly felt.
Minhyuk looked at him with a weird expression and Wonho bit his lower lip and looked away. Minhyuk remained silent for a while and now he was waiting for Minhyuk to just say whatever... but Minhyuk didn’t. He would have preferred Minhyuk to just say “I don’t like you” than looking at him like that; Minhyuk seemed confused and surprised, like he was trying to find the best words to reply. Wonho didn’t know what to expect and even when Minhyuk went silent only for a few seconds, Hoseok felt like a complete year had passed.
-I… -Minhyuk started but then closed his mouth and made a face, not sure how he should reply to Wonho’s words. Wonho did something that not a lot of people knew how to do… He left Minhyuk out of words.
Wonho bit his lip again and spoke.- I understand… -He said, getting up- I just wanted you to know that I didn’t mean what you thought I meant. It’s ok if you don’t like me back, I didn’t expected you to. -He looked away, finding the door- I’m going back inside, ok?
Hoseok started to walk away and Minhyuk stayed there in the cold night, trying to think what he should do.
He got up -Hoseok, wait. -Wonho stopped right when he was opening the door to enter the long hallway to the building.
The blonde looked back to Minhyuk, waiting for him to continue. Now Minhyuk was the one looking nervous and scared.
Minhyuk got closer, walking the distance between them to stand right in front of the elder boy.
-You’re an idiot. -Minhyuk said, with a serious voice and Hoseok looked to the ground- But I’m willing to give you a second chance. -Wonho looked back at him, a little smile was forming in his lips when Minhyuk continued- Just… Please, no more lap dancing.
Wonho let a short laugh escape from his lips and Minhyuk smiled back to him, kissing his cheek in a quick movement.
-Now, let’s go back inside before Jooheon comes to kick your ass. -Minhyuk said, dragging Hoseok from his hand and entering the building together.
Maybe Wonho had this thing for saying the worst combination of words he could find and make you feel worse, or maybe he just needed time to find the correct ones to make you feel better.