Work Text:
There was never a before her boy.
All she can remember is him and all those who came after him.
He named her. Zitka. After the “real” Zitka. Whatever that means. Maybe it is because one is walking and breathing and moving and the other is filled with stuffing.
The boy, Dick, spent all of his days with the “real” Zitka, and all of his nights with the stuffed one. Although sometimes, he would take the stuffed one and sneak out to play with the real one when he’s supposed to be sleeping.
Dick had so much energy and happiness and Zitka, the stuffed one, knew she would love him forever.
And then one day, the boy entered his room, dressed up in bright colors. Including a dripping red. But his normal wide grin had been replaced with tears. He stuffed her and some of his other belongings in a bag and they left.
Zitka is confused. Where are his parents? Where is the “real” Zitka? Where are they going?
For the first few new nights, Dick hugs Zitka tightly, crying into her faux fur. Zitka wishes she could hug him back like how the “real” Zitka would have. She misses the living elephant.
Dick lives in a new place. He calls it a “house.” It’s much bigger and cleaner than the circus. There’s new people too. One young man and one older man. The older man, Dick calls him Alfred, often comes in to clean Dick’s room. Zitka doesn’t see the other man often, but she knows Dick calls him Bruce and that Dick loves him almost as much as he loved his own parents.
She still wonders where they are or why she and her boy are here.
After a few weeks, or months–Zitka can’t tell time well, Dick doesn’t sleep as often. Once the sun sets, he leaves his room and comes back very tired.
But Dick still ends up with Zitka in his arms by the time he needs to get up and leave.
She gets worried when he doesn’t show up. Or when, after a few nights of not being in his room, he comes back with horrible injuries.
When he needs to be in bed all day, the man Bruce sometimes stays with him.
But as the years go by, Dick stays out later and later. He doesn’t cuddle with Zitka as much. If she has a heart in the small, stuffed body of hers, she’s certain that it aches with longing for her boy to hold her as he once did.
And then one day, he packs his bags again and leaves.
This new place is much noisier than the place with Bruce and Alfred.
This new place has strange people called Starfire, Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg. But Zitka doesn’t see them much. In fact, she doesn’t see anything when she’s hidden in the closet. She doesn’t know how long it’s been when the doors fly open and it isn’t her boy that she sees, but the short green one.
He grins and grabs Zitka roughly.
“Guys! I found the perfect bait!”
The purple one, Raven, just glances at Zitka boredly.
The giant one made of metal takes Zitka and examines her. “Robin has a plushie! Perfect blackmail!”
“I do not understand,” the pink one says. “Why is a small, non-living animal embarrassing?”
“Only kids have stuffed animals, Star. They’re toys or… comfort objects,” Beast Boy explains.
“And it is bad to keep a sentimental object?” Star questions.
“Err…” Beast Boy rubs the back of his head.
“We can still use it as bait!” Cyborg says.
“How?” Raven asks in a bored voice. “Hold it hostage until Robin agrees to go to the movies with us?”
“Exactly!” The two boys nod and say in unison.
“Hold what hostage?” They all jump and turn to look at the newcomer. Even with something covering his face, Zitka still recognizes her boy.
“Rob!” Beast Boy squeaks out.
Cyborg holds Zitka up high. “We have your elephant! Now take a break and come with us to the movies!”
“No.”
Zitka swings as Cyborg makes his way to a window and hangs her out. The ground is suddenly far away.
“Come with us or the elephant falls.”
“No.”
“Three.”
“I do not think–”
“Two,” Cyborg cuts Starfire off.
“I still need to find Slade, guys! Finding him is more important than watching a movie!”
“One.”
The hand holding Zitka lets go.
And she’s falling.
Being a stuffed animal, she has no fear. Right? She knows she won’t get hurt from the fall, but what if her boy lets her go? What if he doesn’t want her anymore?
Maybe she’s scared of that.
Something sweeps her from the air. Someone.
Dick.
He fires his grappling hook and lands back in the building. Zitka can’t see his face, she’s only glad that he’s holding her.
“C’mon, Rob, it was just a joke.” That’s the high pitched voice of Beast Boy.
“I did not think it was very funny,” says Starfire.
“We just think you need to calm down. Take a break,” Raven says.
“I knew you would catch it,” Cyborg says defensively.
Zitka’s boy doesn’t say anything. He just walks back to his room and places her back on that shelf in the closet.
Some more time passes before Dick leaves again. This place is small and less clean. And there’s no other people. At least now, her place is on his bed instead of on a shelf. He sometimes snuggles with her. But only when he has the really bad nightmares.
He’s changed from being this “Robin” character and is now “Nightwing.”
Sometimes he talks to her when he’s stressed.
“I don’t understand why he can’t just let it go!”
“How did he escape Arkham again?”
“Why can’t Bruce handle things on his own?”
“So, Bruce has a new kid. A new Robin. He replaced me.”
“Any advice, Zitka? No? Figures. But at least you’re the only one who’s stayed with me through everything.”
It’s times like these when Zitka feels as if she has a heart.
“I really miss Mom and Dad.”
If Zitka has a heart, she knows it would be breaking. She misses his parents too. They always made Dick feel better when she and the “real” Zitka couldn’t.
She’s happy when he makes a new friend. Her boy brings back another animal. She looks like the “real” Zitka, but smaller, fluffier, and without a trunk. So nothing like the “real” Zitka except for the coloration. She also only has three legs and barks a lot.
Dick calls her Haley.
At first, Haley would chew on Zitka’s trunk or ears, but always received a gentle scolding from Dick. Eventually, she stopped chewing and just snuggled. So now she is a bit more like the “real” Zitka.
But looks aside, she makes Dick happy. And that’s what truly makes her like the “real” Zitka.
More days go by. Dick talks to her more and more. But then, he starts leaving.
“Honestly, Z, the new kid isn’t too bad. I mean, B shouldn’t be taking in more child soldiers, but he’s a sweet kid. And he might be a better Robin than I ever was.”
Zitka doesn’t know what these words mean, but her boy seems happy. And that’s all that matters.
He’s eating popcorn, watching a movie, and holding Zitka in his arms with Haley by his side when things change. The window opens and someone crawls in.
“D-dick?” A small voice calls out.
“Jay?” Dick is suddenly on his feet and he goes over to the figure who is slumped beneath the window. Haley joins him curiously.
“Hey… can I… crash here for a bit?”
“Of course, Little Wing. I’m always here for you.”
“Thanks, Big Bird.”
“C’mon. I was doing a Disney movie marathon. I’m in the middle of The Emperor’s New Groove. Wanna watch?”
“Sure.”
Dick and a shorter boy come into view.
“What’s this?” The boy picks up Zitka, one hand stroking one of her ears gently.
“She’s Zitka. I named her after my best friend back at the circus.”
There’s a long silence as they both settle in on the couch with Haley.
“Can I ask what happened, Jaybird?” Dick asks.
The other boy, Jay?, looks down at Zitka, still petting her. “B benched me. So I ran away.”
“Why?”
“He sent me to take down some of Scarecrow’s guys. He had to go take down the douchebag himself, so I was on my own. There ended up being more guys there than we thought, so he told me to retreat. But if I did, then he would have been outnumbered and Scarecrow would’ve gotten a large shipment of fear gas out and I couldn’t let that happen.
“And I could take them. I did take them. I’ve been training so hard–especially with you helping now. But when we got back to the Batcave, B yelled at me and benched me for being reckless.”
Dick hums.
“That is a predicament, huh, Jason? Let me tell you this–and I am experienced in getting yelled at by B–he’s just trying to look out for you. You’re still new to the whole vigilante thing and you’re still a kid. Yes, it can be frustrating sometimes, but in the end, we all wanna make sure everyone gets out alive. You have every right to be mad because he should trust you, but you’ve also gotta understand that he goes into Dad-mode more than Bat-mode.”
Jason scoffs. “I guess that makes sense,” he mutters.
“But hey, you’ve always got a place here–even if you just wanna be here and there’s not even anything going on back at the Manor. You know what? Why don’t you take Zitka? She always helps me when I’m feeling down.”
The second boy blushes and hugs Zitka tighter. She could get used to his hugs.
They finished the movie and the next day, Zitka returned to the big house where Bruce and Alfred were. They were as surprised as she was when they saw her.
“Did Master Dick lend you his stuffed animal?” The older man asks.
“Zitka,” Jason corrects. Zitka thinks she likes her new boy.
If Zitka has a heart, she’s certain it’s filled with joy and happiness.
She doesn’t think that anyone could have a brighter laugh than Dick, but Jason certainly does. She can hear a lot more happiness around the house than there ever was with Dick. She still sees her first boy every so often. Sometimes he visits her and Jason at the house or they’ll visit him at his place.
Jason gets hurt often with Bruce and Alfred sometimes takes Zitka from her boys’ room and brings her down to a large room where Jason is sleeping. Hurt. And he never fails to tell her that she makes him feel better.
But her time with Jason is short. Far too short.
He’s pacing around his room in the house anxiously. “Why won’t he call? Why won’t he answer my messages? Where is he? He said he would always be here for me and I… I need him.” Jason turns to Zitka. “I don’t suppose you have any way to contact Dick, do you?”
Zitka can’t answer.
Jason sighs. “Well, I guess I’m doing this without him. I think I’m gonna leave you here, Z, I want m… my mom to know that I’m all grown up–not that there’s anything wrong with you. There’s definitely something wrong with me,” he scoffs. “I’m talking to a stuffed elephant.”
And then he leaves. And doesn’t come back.
Day after day. Night after night. Still no sign of him.
Alfred is constantly in his room, cleaning. Bruce sometimes comes in and just stands in the doorway.
But still no Jason. Where did her boy go?
If Zitka has a heart, she’s certain it’s shattered into a million pieces without the joy that held it together.
Zitka watches as another boy wanders in her boys’ room. He seems to be curious–just snooping through the house. When he opens the door, he scans the room and is about to back out and close it when he sees her.
He walks further into the room and picks Zitka up from the bed.
“Jason had a stuffed elephant? No… this was definitely Dick’s,” the boy mutters. Then he puts her back on the bed and walks away.
“Never took B to be the sentimental type.” It’s been a long time since she heard voices.
“Well, he did keep your Robin suit.” That’s her boy! Her first boy. Dick.
“Pfft. ‘Good soldier.’ What’s gonna be in here? ‘Adopted street rat?’” Why does that voice sound so familiar?
“Nah. I just think Alfie kept it clean,” Dick says. The door opens. Two men step inside. They admire old photos and past belongings.
“No way! Zitka?” The other man runs over to the bedside and picks her up with a surprising gentleness.
“She looks brand new!” Dick exclaims. “Alfred sure does like to keep everything clean.”
The man gently strokes Zitka’s ears.
Jason?
Once again, her time with Jason is short. For some reason, he puts her in a basket along with a few other items and leaves her on a doorstep.
A boy wrapped in bandages and leaning on a crutch brings her inside. He picks up a piece of paper and reads it outloud.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you. My fight is with B. Take Zitka as my apology. She belongs to Robin.” The boy grins, setting down the note and picking Zitka up. “Hi, Zitka. I’m Tim.”
There’s very few moments between just Zitka and Tim. Usually, he leaves her alone unless there’s something called “movie night,” in which they share the couch with Dick and Jason and stare at a glowing box. Bruce is there too, sometimes, but he doesn’t get excited when he sees Tim with Zitka.
The first “movie night” was very memorable.
“Oh my gosh, is that Zitka?” Dick asks excitedly. “Wait, I thought I gave her to Jay?”
Jason shrugs. But he looks happy to see her. Or maybe he’s happy to see Tim. It doesn’t matter because throughout the night, they each take turns cuddling her.
If Zitka has a heart, she knows it is filled with more happiness than ever before.
“What is this, Tim?” A taunting voice asks. A girl jumps on Tim’s bed and picks up Zitka.
“That’s Zitka. She originally belonged to Dick, then Jason.”
“And now you.”
“And now me.”
And somehow, that’s how Zitka ended up with Steph, as Tim called her.
Steph spent more time with Zitka than Tim did. She often whispered how much her baby would have loved her, not that Zitka knew what that meant, but it sounded nice.
Steph was nice.
If Zitka has a heart, then it would explain all of the warm feelings she has.
Zitka doesn’t know what happened before, but one day, Steph comes running into the room, grabs Zitka, and runs to another room.
She’s never been in this one. Granted, the house is very large and she’s not taken out often, but this one is different from the others. This one is neat and orderly and contains a child who she has never seen before.
Steph hands her to the boy. “Here, Dames. This is Zitka. Every Robin has owned her at some point. First Dick, then Jason, Tim, me. And now you. You deserve to be Robin and don’t think any differently. You’re a good kid, Damian, and nothing can change that.”
“But I kill.” The boy really needs a hug.
“Used to,” Steph corrects. “You don’t anymore. And you didn’t know any better when you did. At heart, you’re a good person.”
The boy hesitates, but takes Zitka and hugs her. His arms feel like home.
If Zitka has a heart, it would be hurting. This is nothing like when Damian first held her. Now, he holds her tightly in his arms, tears drip into her faux fur, sinking into her stuffing. She wishes she could do more to comfort him.
His breathing is off. Raspy and stuttered. Titus, an animal like Haley but much, much bigger, nuzzles Damian, trying to comfort him. Her boy. Their boy.
But he still has his knees pulled to his chest, Zitka still tight in his grip.
Then he stiffens at the sound of footsteps. He rushes to his desk and starts writing something, acting as if nothing happened. Titus tilts his head. Zitka is discarded on the floor.
There’s a knock on the door. “Dami? Damian, can I come in?”
“If you must, Grayson.” Somehow, he’s gotten his breathing under control. And the tears have stopped flowing.
Zitka’s first boy enters the room.
“Are you okay? I heard… I heard patrol was…”
“I am doing well, Grayson. No need for concern.”
Dick doesn’t look convinced, but he nods. “Alright, well… you know you can always talk to me, right?”
“Tt.”
Dick grimaces but starts to back out of the room. Then his eyes find Zitka. His familiar grin spreads across his face.
“Hey, you have Zitka! I wondered where she went.” Dick walks towards her and bends to pick her up. His back is facing Damian. Damian does not see the concern on Dick’s face when he feels the tear-soaked fur.
“Brown gave her to me,” Damian says quietly.
“You know, she used to be mine.” Dick stands and turns to face Damian. “I named her after my best friend in the circus.”
“She is an adequate… companion.”
“She is. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t had her. She’s been with me from the start and… in a way, she helped me get through some stuff, y’know?”
Damian hums.
A few moments later, all of them are on the couch for “movie night.” Just like old times.
Her boys and her girl. Zitka doesn’t really know what love is, but she knows she can feel it. And if she has a heart, it would be full of love for all of them.
Maybe she does have a heart.