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We all have that one ex we never got over, right?
Of course not, unless your name is Ren. To get into the specifics, unless you are an esteemed individual named Ren, who has issues regarding his sleep, which have prolonged since he could ever remember, for unknown reasons, and is making them worse by not even attempting to go to bed. What could he possibly be doing instead? Something he probably shouldn't.
Ren, is no longer the immature, rebellious and emo boy he used to be in high school, back when he had a specific phase. Yet, there's a lingering trait that hasn't left him. His obsessiveness regarding another specific male..
Before the other person introduces themselves, let's bring our attention back to Ren, who is currently losing his mind as his fingers tremble shakily over his phone screen.
Ren, now a particularly unusual man, is a talented craftsman with scarred palms and a damaged heart. Or thats how the lyrics would go to the music he listens to.
He was far more impressive in high school, though. If you had asked him for music recommendations back then, he absolutely would’ve told you to give his band a try.
“Properly explained, he had started some sort of emo bad with his friends.
The lyrics sounded deep to any teenager his age whose souls hadn’t yet realized the maturity of adult life. Now, as much as he wishes he could just delete all the music they’ve produced, he can’t bring himself to release the only core memory he has of his past friends.
Especially not the memories he’s had with his beloved Dan Heng.
Now, who Is Dan Heng?
To Blade, both the world and it's collapse, the sweetness and the sin of the Apple bitten as the first atrocity, but also the most holy seraphim the Aeons united together to create.
Yet, on a technical level, Dan Heng is just another memory of what used to be the brightest teenage boy Ren had ever met.
He was also a part of their band, but only after a long period of convincing from Blade's friends, and sort of pathetic begging from Blade himself, that he attempted to disguise with nonexistent nonchalance.
The band consisted of five members, two of which you've already met, and three which had a price to pay, for mysterious reasons.
Baiheng and Jing Yuan were innocent in the arguments that arose. All of them wanted the best for Baiheng, who was going through a lot that time, yet ended up somehow being the most common reason everyone started fighting.
“There’s the two you've already met, and there's Jingliu. Ren's new friends consider her to be "an opp".”
Dan Heng, was the most precious out of the members for Ren. And, the last to barge into their ridiculous music phase. The sole reason being hidden among a multitude of others. He was Ren's past lover. Emphasis on past. Did you hear that Ren?
Those two had an on and off kind of relationship. They were very passionate about one another, to the point where the fire burned their hands into crisp ashes from spreading too far, and eventually Ren fuelled the flames so high that Dan Heng threw the remains of his heart's feelings for Ren to forever decompose into burns that would sting when attempted to be touched or reopened.
The reason for their breaking up had nothing to do with the conflicts regarding their band. In fact, Dan Heng had always taken Ren's side, because he was the sole reason he joined and he believed he would stay for him.
As the twists of fate lured them into the unexpected, Dan Heng found himself regretting his high school years because of Ren, while Ren begs whoever is above to send him back to the glorious period. He would do anything to be back with Dan Heng again.
If Ren had loved him so much, what was the reason they had cut off any contact? Well, at the very end of high school, back when they promised each other they would step into university with their feelings still intertwined with each other's hearts, Blade made a fatal mistake after being severely provoked.
But before that is delved into, the dynamics that existed between them must be explained.
How did these two first meet? Well, it's an uneventful story.
They met the way you'd meet just about any of your classmates, they were peers in the same class. Blade sat behind Dan Heng, because the order of seating was based on a "first letter of their last name" system.
It just so happens that Ren was the type of person to not really prioritise his school life, and he had easily made friends with the person sitting behind him, Jing Yuan, and the person sitting next to Dan Heng, Baiheng. But he had no interest in Dan Heng.
For the other two, he either saw them wearing a shirt with a band's logo printed on that he recognized, or secretly caught a glimpse of their phones while they were listening to music during breaks or before classes started.
Dan Heng was too secretive to be found out so easily, but then again, he wasn't necessarily a fan of Ren's interests anyway.
Baiheng was the sole reason those two stepped into contact.
When Ren was on a call with Baiheng, he asked her for answers to some recent assignment, she didn't directly give them to him, but she did direct him to contact Dan Heng to give him ideas on what he could do.
"Baiheng, why must you make me go through this?"
"Go through what? Dan Heng is a nice person, I don't see anything wrong with him, plus he's my friend so watch before you insult him."
"He doesn't even talk to anyone but you, I've seen him hang around with some kids from the other class but it's like he doesn't like any of the rest of us that are actually in his class."
"You're not wrong there, he has more friends in the other classes, but that doesn't mean he's against the others from ours."
"Oh whatever, whats his number?"
And so, Blade initiated the first move, both during their first conversation early in their first school year, and in the romantic spectrum.
"Hey, DH, r u busy? I need smth from u."
"Hello? Who even is this?"
"Oh right.. I'm Ren, from ur class. I'm asking u for help with that one assignment."
"Alright, then, what do you need?"
"Basically everything."
"Actually, can you just show me the instructions in school? It'll be easier that way."
"That's alright with me, but don't text me so late at night on a school day. The next time you need help with an assignment 5 minutes before the new day starts I won't be answering."
Their first interaction was nothing out of the ordinary. Ren tried to seem disinterested, despite being the one to reach out, and Dan Heng was slightly confused on why specifically he was chosen for this Heraklean task. Did Ren think he was some nerd? (Well..)
As his taste broadened, Ren started finding Dan Heng's explanations cute, so he kept asking him for help with just about anything regarding school. It was mostly because he just wanted that stupid boy who won't ever talk to people outside of his circle who god knows why he approves of to finally say a few words. Words that weren't just him naturally getting the teacher's questions right after a raised hand.
After a while though, Dan Heng finally started asking something back from Ren. He didn't specify how he could repay the boy, but he did want something for all the effort he was doing to raise Ren's grades. Only somewhat, because Ren still didn't study for perfect A's for any of his tests. Who does that? Dan Heng?
Blade opted to watch Dan Heng's tongue burn while sipping some probably sugar-filled and milk-condensed coffee, unlike what Ren preferred because he was edgy during his teenage years. He preferred those ridiculously large energy drinks, which the money really wasn't worth.
He wanted more than just to watch Dan Heng's tongue burn, he wanted to lick the marks he'd leave on the corners of his lips with each sip, and keep warming his tongue out even more until that weird boy needs to catch his breath and finally lose his ability to think so wisely.
So, Ren considered taking him out to constant study dates, which lead to rumours, and eventually to their first "break up". An unexpected one where Dan Heng told him he can't see him anymore because his parents heard that some boy is constantly grabbing coffee with him. They just don't want their son dating anyone.
After a while, Dan Heng started hanging out even more with his friends, but Ren wasn't about to have it with some wannabe authority figures trying to command his relationships. He didn't even like Dan Heng that much, he just craved his presence so that he could feel something for the fewest moments in his life, something he hadn't felt ever before his newer classmate started going out with him, unknowingly. It was a blur between hatred and longing. He had no valid reasons for either, Dan Heng never did him wrong, but he also couldn't understand why Dan Heng would be so special, outside of guiding him for schoolwork.
But eventually, the boring old Dan Heng came up to Ren first. What was the sudden twist of fate for?
It turns out, Dan Heng wanted to apologise for cutting him off, and asked him if he would like to continue their little study sessions in a more secretive area? Apparently, he has missed them, but he could never admit that out loud.
That's how their secret meetups began. Dan Heng hadn't opened up much about his personal life to Ren, and consequently Ren didn't attempt to either. But once, he finally told him about his home situation.
"Ren, I'm sure you remember how our parents tried to break contact between us, right?"
"Yeah I do, why?"
"I know I already apologized, and I'm trying to meet up with you. But I wanted to give you a more thorough explanation on what's going on."
"Oh, you're trying to vent? I'm guessing you don't do this much."
"That's the correct term, yes. I'm trying to explain my home situation to you."
After receiving a focused glare from Ren, he continued on.
"Since forever, my parents have been extremely strict with me. Unlike you, who I cant understand why, I have a concrete reason why I'm in this elite school. My parents want to see me succed so badly that I haven't had much experience in life other than devoting myself to being the perfect example of the child they've always wanted."
"No wonder you're the way you are."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well, I can't tell much about you other than how smart you are, and I don't think your parents know much more than me, so tell me what exactly do you like other than making your parents proud of you?"
"I like spending time with my friends, though it's limited."
"What if I said I don't understand why you like them so much? They don't seem like the type your parents would approve of."
"That's exactly why I do like them. They bring out the side of life that I'm forbidden from. Having actual fun in my life. I never tell my parents what we actually do with them, I try my hardest to lie about the kind of people they are, but it's kind of hard because I've known them since I was in my previous school years."
"Oh, so that's how you ended up with people opposite of you?"
"You could say that."
"Dan Heng, as much as I'm sure your friends mean to you. Why don't you tell me something about yourself?"
"I'll try."
"Dear Aeons."
Blade murmured to himself.
"Well, sorry for bringing them up again but I myself consider to be a part of the "Astral express".
"Now what the fuck is that?"
"It's the name I started referring to my group of friends with, because one of them named us that after our shared interest."
"Don't tell me you only got into it because of them."
"No! It's not like that."
Dan Heng found himself seeking Ren's approval.
"Before I even met them, I had taken an interest in astrology and astronomy. But, my parents never saw that as a real science, so they told me to get out of that phase immediately."
"Astrology, really? Well, tell me, are our signs compatible?"
"I don't even know your sign."
"Ah, whatever."
"As I was saying, that's been my main interest for a while now, but I've never really been allowed to look into it with physical copies."
"I'll teach you how to hide them from your parents. I do that all the time with cigarettes and what not."
"I'm not allowed to buy them."
"Just save up using your lunch money. Or, I could buy them for you as a returning gift for all the secret help you're doing me."
"You really would? I think it's too much."
"Yes, anything for you to develop a personality."
Ever since that discussion, Ren started suggesting ways to rebel from his parents or find some new hobbies and stop focusing on his studies so much. As much as he was grateful that Dan Heng had been helping him, he wanted to help him back by not allowing their weird "whatever is going on" bond remain just one of those friendships you make in school and never talk again after college.
One day, he got the bright idea to ask him out during their secret meet ups, that he eventually found a lie for Dan Heng to use for his parents, in the most unimpressed way Dan Heng could imagine.
"Hey Dan Heng, what do you say I take you out? You deserve more than just being cramped up with this book. I'm sure I'm the best person to have that actual fun you've been seeking out so badly with."
"You mean, you want to go on a date with me?"
"Why not? I think I can turn you cute. If you actually do show a side of yourself that I could never expect from you, I might just even date you. We'll keep it a secret from your parents of course. But you'll be safe with me."
Dan Heng was in utter confusion, just why in the world would Ren want him? He thought The was just using him for his studies, but again Ren wasn't too sure either. He desperately needed to see Dan Heng doing something out of the ordinary. Maybe he had a thing for turning him into someone who he can actually play around with.
The real answer, though. Is that he was fighting back feelings of love towards that boy. It's the first time he's felt affectionate, and he was exceptionally mad, so much that he drowned in delusion that he really hated Dan Heng's current personality, and would do anything to change him.
But eventually, he realized he kind of liked that Dan Heng was the opposite of him. That doesn't mean he still didn't inspire him to act differently than he was expected to.
And one day, Dan Heng came up to Ren first.
"Ren, after all these meetings we've had, I noticed we are spending a lot of quality time together. Does this mean anything to you?"
"Well, I am having my fun with you."
"I meant, when you said you'd date me. Did you ever consider taking that seriously?"
"Oh sure, my obedient boy."
"You don't have to be cruel about it if you don't want to do it. I'm trying to be vulnerable here."
"No seriously. I think you're a cute boy. Why not?"
"If we are going to be together I want that attitude of yours to change. I expect proper treatment from you."
"And your parents expect you succeed Nous themselves."
"Ren.. do you want to do this or not?"
"I don't want anyone else being your boyfriend, that's for sure. I couldn't stand that sight. Imagine having a boyfriend while still sneaking out with me?"
"That would be morally wrong, you're right."
"So yeah, I don't want you ending up with some loser that you'll probably realise you don't love. Be with me instead."
"Expected of you to turn around the roles here."
"You know me so well, love."
"Alright.. I have to confess something else, though. I do not possess much knowledge in the realm of love, you'll have to guide me."
"Start by trying to kiss me first. I don't expect you to be necessarily good at it, but I'll teach you."
Dan Heng got slightly jealous at the prospect that Ren had already had his first kiss, while his would be Ren himself. But, he never confirmed that was true, so he could keep himself at ease.
A long story overall, but eventually After this terrible confession and first kiss, those two started secretly dating, and Dan Heng realized that Ren was the part of him that was missing, the parts that Dan Heng couldn't be himself. He had found thrill in the fact that he could have someone who doesn't place expectations on him, and isn't going to pressure him into achieving goals for him, even if he was needy with his requests for help at times, but regardless, he felt like Ren saw something undiscovered in him.
And the parts of a whole they were, they sure did not handle their break up well. After all, these two weren't meant to be separated.
Putting all of the drama between the band they formed aside, which Dan Heng was the biggest fan of, because Ren held an important role in, they got into a deal breaking argument that still stings the both of them until the current day.
Ren never really got to know Dan Heng's friends, he just showed absolutely no interest in them from the start. That was a fault on his end, because he could've avoided his fatal mistake if he just held a conversation with those lovely people.
All he knew was from Dan Heng's rambling, and as they years passed, he got sick of listening to constant talks about him. Assuming that Dan Heng only ever mentioned Ren to his friends in either the third or last year of high school, which wasn't even true. Dan Heng always came to them for advice for trying to understand Ren, after the long periods of complaining about his laziness at first.
Their closeness in their shared bond started ticking Ren off too much, and he felt as if there was a need to show those people where they're supposed to stand. After all, Dan Heng was too preoccupied with them. Constantly being around them, and even ditching Ren at times for them. His friends weren't even that funny.
You could say that jealousy overfilled Ren's rationality, and after doing some digging he immediately went up to the only male he saw in the group. Knowing Dan Heng is interested in men, his first instinct was to go after the one other male that stole his attention so often.
After all, he had at least held the decency to not go after the women first.
Ren considered just talking to Dan Heng about his jealousy, but he would've rather died than open up about such a trivial issue. He had no proper explanation for his need to drive away his friends for once.
That's how Caelus, the guy Dan Heng referred to as the Trailblazer because he was always leading them to some secret spots in the city, ended up in a fight with his friend's jealous boyfriend.
Luckily for Caelus, and pitiful for Ren, he wasn't a bad fighter at all. He had the strength to hold up against Ren's unnecessary fury. Even after all these bruises, and the ruthless beating the fight started with, there was no concrete "winner". Mostly because Dan Heng and their friend, March, got worried over Caelus who sure was taking his sweet time meeting them up in the spot they always reunited at after classes ended.
But whose fault is it that some weirdo decided to randomly skip class, sneak up, and jump some innocent guy whose classes ended early due to some teacher's appointment.
"Ren? What is this??"
Dan Heng's voice was caught as he tried to process the scene going on right in front of him.
Ren didn't mouth out any reply, he just let go of Caelus, who was preparing to attack him back as he wasn't done paying back yet.
"Why the hell are you fighting with him??"
"None of your business, Dan Heng."
"It really is, though. You both are my associates."
"I'm your boyfriend, if you remember."
"This absolutely cannot be the reason you're behaving like this. No way."
"Don't tell me you're jealous of a FRIEND. For aeon's sake, Ren."
"The fault isn't mine when you're constantly surrounding yourself with him. You're supposed to be mine."
"I'm not supposed to be possessed by you."
"Dan Heng, don't you think you're the Y/N of some Wattpad story? I mean you have the alphas fighting over you.. Just saying.."
"March this isn't the time, please go help Caelus. And Ren, we need to talk in private."
Their breakup was.. dramatic to say the least. How could Dan Heng have caught him so easily? Did he actually learn something from their sneaking up together?
What's actually important here is the yelling he received during their break up.
At least he'd never get to see that mistake Baiheng couldn't be blamed for, ever again..
Until, he did.
Ren was miserably doomscrolling on his phone since he got tired of listening to songs that reminded him too much of the band that broke down.
Coming back to breakups, Ren was begging for any activity to suddenly fly into his hands like a dove so that he could distract himself from thoughts of that terrible relationship he wishes he didn't step into, or maybe just didn't end so harshly.
When suddenly, he sees an Ad post from some company named "The Astral express".
"The astral express? Fuck no."
Ren immediately thought to himself.
He really shouldn't have, but he opened their profile to check if it really was owned by who the was thinking of. All he saw at first, was some red haired lady named Himeko, who apparently owned a modelling agency, and a flower shop on the side. Just how many hobbies can one girl have?
Their newest post, though, was Ren's worst night mare coming to life.
Talking about some "Come see Dan Heng at his new debut!".
"You know what, I will. Let's see you, Dan Heng."
I'm sure this would be faithful reunion and Dan Heng would be more than joyous to be able to see his lover again. Ren would kiss him gently and spin him up in the air, would've been the next line if we weren't being realistic here.
Ren stood no chance anymore, after their splitting Dan Heng probably despised him. Now, he was even a model. How is he supposed to compete with god knows who he could possibly meet in his Industry? His blood was boiling from jealousy again. Old habits die hard, people.
Ren immediately sent the post to his closest friend, Kafka. And the lady, probably drunk on wine after a date misspelled every word of her sentence trying to reply to him.
"No wya. Yuor x & my fling woek tgther?"
"Kafka, just call me, I need to talk to someone about this".
"Okkk Bladieee"
The nickname was just a tease. When she found out while buying jewellery from him that he was in some emo band from high school where he used that alias she couldn't let go of it.
"Kafka, you saw it too right? Get out of your drunk state now, we need to think of what to do."
"Mm, mmaybe I can try sneaking you into his show by distracting Himeko. Haha."
"Do literally anything you can. I need to see Dan Heng, again. Even if he degrades and screams at me to never talk to him again."
"You're planning to sneak up again? Like you did in high school?"
Kafka was the only one out of their new group of friends who knew the full story about their relationship.
"Bladie, how about we leave this for tomorrow? I know you won't be able to sleep after just seeing your ex posted on social media, but one night won't change much. We can brainstorm until tomorrow and I'll come to you with a plan."
"Goodnight then, Kafka."
"Good nighttt!"
Bladie thought to himself that it isn't wise to bother Kafka again in this state, so he went to Silver Wolf and Firefly, who also picked up cute new names Kafka gave them.
"What? You wanna see your ex? That's so pathetic."
"She's right, Ren, maybe it's best to leave him in the past? It's better for both of your sanities."
"But hey, if you're gonna meet him again, ask him out to spite him. Buy him flowers or chocolate or something and say it's for the show."
Flowers? He can do that, definitely.