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“I want to but I don’t.” Simon spit out with a glare. Mark had a soft smile on his face in return.
“I never said you have to, you don’t have to.” Mark reminded him and he had been saying that from the start. This didn’t lessen Simon’s anxiety and he eyed Mark up and down again.
“Let me see them.” Simon said and for the second time Mark passed over the small pair of scissors. Simon held them in his hands, staring at them.
All the scissors Simon had seen on Eden were old and rusty, he wouldn’t trust any of those with this, not that he was ever allowed to cut his hair anyway.
This pair right here though were clean, they looked fairly new or at least taken care of. They were on the smaller side which also helped, they looked less like knives.
“Okay.” Simon said as he passed them back over again and Mark nodded.
“Do you want to sit on the counter or the toilet lid?” Mark asked and Simon made a face like he thought the man was crazy. “We’re the same height, I can’t cut your hair while you stand Simon.”
“Oh.” Simon mumbled and his face flushed red. He looked around the bathroom at his options and decided the counter was a better choice. He moved himself onto the counter and turned so he was facing the mirror, staring at Mark in the reflection.
“Alright, your hair needs to be brushed first, so if you wanna do that you can, or I can.” Mark said but before he was even finished with the offer Simon was reaching for the brush beside him.
Mark watched Simon brush his hair, and he winced slightly as Simon ripped through it. He could see the hairs already being pulled out as Simon violently brushed.
“If you want to take care of your hair you could start by being more gentle when you brush it.” Mark commented, and Simon glared at him in the mirror like he was offended by the idea.
“You’re going to cut half of it off anyway. What does it matter?” Simon snapped and Mark could hear the annoyance in his voice. He tried not to take it personally.
“I’m gonna try not to cut a lot, just the dead parts, but it would help if you were softer when brushing it, start from the bottom in small sections then work your way up.” Mark encouraged but Simon’s hands stilled. He could see the confusion on Simon’s face and it took a moment to understand that he was confused by the instructions. “Can I?” Mark asked softly, holding his hand out.
Simon tentatively handed over the hair brush. Mark took it and very slowly reached his hand forward towards Simon. He could see in the mirror how Simon was staring at him like a wild animal, afraid and ready to bolt. Ever so gently Mark reached for a section of Simon’s hair and began to brush it towards the bottom.
Quietly and with the same amount of slowness Mark carefully brushed out the section of Simon’s hair. He couldn’t help but wonder if Simon had ever been taught to take care of his hair before, judging by the feeling of it probably not. He tried not to yank on it too hard.
When Simon had first appeared on the Invincible two he was covered in blood with his hair matted and stuck to his head. Mark and the captain were the ones who got him cleaned up and Mark had washed Simon’s hair then, though Simon was unconscious. His hair had felt rough then, and Mark assumed due to the blood, but Simon had been here two months and his hair felt like sand paper.
“Do you use a conditioner?” Mark asked as he continued to brush out Simon’s hair. Maybe he should try to find a detangler somewhere, maybe Celci had one.
“What’s that?” Simon wondered and Mark made eye contact with him in the mirror. “If you’re going to fucking judge me than I can just-”
“I’m not judging you Simon, I’m trying to help.” Mark reassured and Simon fell silent. Mark could see the way Simon’s hands shook slightly in his lap, like he couldn’t hold himself still and wanted to bolt. “We don’t have to do this.” He didn’t want Simon to be uncomfortable if this was distressing him.
“I already said I want to.” Simon snapped at him, but by tone alone you wouldn’t be able to tell that he was doing this willingly.
“Respectfully Simon, you’re not acting like it.” Mark said lightly and this time Simon fully whipped around to face him.
“How the fuck do you want me to act?” Simon snapped, a flash of anger in his eyes and Mark shrugged. He found it was easier to stay calm when Simon was mad, instead of reacting in fear.
“Like I’m not holding you hostage here, like you want to get your hair cut, like you aren’t going to take the scissors from my hand and stab me with them.” Mark said blatantly.
“Well then don’t, don’t treat me like I’m afraid.” Simon attempted to negotiate. It was hard not to, that was the only thing stopping Mark from going through with the haircut. It’s not good to have scissors near a terrified person's neck.
“It’s okay if you are Simon.” Mark reassured but Simon shook his head. He wasn’t sure what Simon was trying to prove, and neither did Simon.
“Just keep brushing my hair.” Simon demanded and Mark sighed, but continued anyway. They fell into silence for a while, the only sound being the brush going through Simon’s hair.
When Mark was finally able to run his fingers through Simon’s hair all the way he put the brush down. Simon looked pretty like this.
Simon stared at himself in the mirror, it had been a long time since he had seen his hair clean and actually combed out. Mark watched as Simon’s eyes glossed over.
Simon reached up and grabbed a lock of his own hair, staring at it as he separated it with his fingers, something he wasn’t able to do before. He felt something rise in his throat as he realized how long his hair actually was at this point. Simon began tugging at his hair, wanting to get rid of the length instantly.
“Hey hey hey.” Mark said quickly as he raised his hand up and clasped it around Simon’s. Simon let out a small growl, like an animal reacting to someone petting them unexpectedly, and he turned to look at Mark. Mark pretended like he didn’t see Simon baring his teeth slightly. “You’re going to rip your hair out.”
“So?” Simon snapped and Mark frowned softly. He knew this was going to bring up some emotions for Simon, he hated people in his personal space and was still highly defensive, but this was more than that.
“Simon, do you actually like having long hair?” Mark asked and Simon didn’t entirely know how to respond. He dropped his snare and stared at Mark.
He had never been given the choice before.
“My mother and The Father both said little girls need to have long hair.” Simon admitted eventually. Mark hadn’t heard much about Eden from Simon, but it was enough to know that growing up trans was probably hell there.
“Right, but is that something you’ve wanted? Have you ever even got a haircut before?” Mark questioned. After a moment Simon finally shook his head then turned to a shrug then back to shaking his head. “Well do you want your hair cut shorter? Maybe not like mine but maybe chin length? Try getting length off?” Mark suggested.
Right now completely brushed out Simon’s hair was down to past his shoulder blades. The bottom few inches were dead anyway, so it would probably be better to cut it off. Mark was now also concerned with getting length off so Simon wouldn’t rip at his hair like he just did.
“Okay.” Simon finally mumbled and Mark smiled at him. “Let me see the scissors again.” Passing over the scissors again Mark just kept his soft smile.
Simon actually opened and closed the pair of scissors this time. The context of never having gotten a haircut before was making the anxiety a lot more understandable, especially around the scissors themselves. Mark didn’t even want to know what Simon was going to think about the idea of trimming up his beard.
Passing the scissors back again Simon stared forward in the mirror. Mark still held his smile which Simon didn’t return. Mark grabbed a comb and took a deep breath.
“I’m gonna start by cutting off the dead parts and then we can go from there.” Mark explained and Simon nodded. Doing exactly what he said he’d do Mark began to slowly comb out the ends of Simon’s hair before snipping some of the dead ends.
Whenever Mark glanced up at Simon he could see the way his eyes flickered every time the scissors cut through his hair, like he wasn’t trusting what was happening. He probably wasn’t still. Being told he had to have long hair his whole life based on what his supposed gender was probably didn’t help.
“Can I ask you something kinda personal?” Mark asked after a while. Simon made a slight hum of confirmation. “What was it like being trans where you’re from?” He asked as he evened out the section he was cutting.
“I dunno.” Simon admitted and Mark gave him a confused look. “I never told anyone on Eden about who I am, and the COI didn’t really give a shit about a prisoner of war.” Mark’s hands stilled in Simon’s hair.
“You never got to be yourself before this.” Mark said but it wasn’t a question, it was a realization. He couldn’t imagine going through life this long without being able to be himself. He continued to cut Simon’s hair without continuing the conversation.
By the time Mark finished trimming all the dead parts of Simon’s hair it was just below chin length, so close to what Mark had suggested. Mark thought Simon looked better already, he was handsome in general but even more so now.
Why did he think that? Moving on.
“What do you think?” Mark asked and Simon stared at himself in the mirror. Simon gently reached his hand up to feel the ends of his hair, like he was expecting it to start growing again under his touch. When nothing happened he spoke.
“Yeah it’s nice.” He offered gently. The anger from a few moments ago was dying down by now. It was nice to see him not as agitated.
“Do you want it a bit shorter or is that okay?” Mark asked and Simon thought about it for a few moments.
“Can we trim the hair around my eyes?” Simon asked in return and Mark nodded. He noticed how Simon constantly pushed his hair out of his eyes, so trimming would hopefully help.
“Yeah but you’ll have to turn around to face me.” Mark replied. Simon turned himself around, knocking some hair down to the floor. Simon let his hands grip the edge of the counter. Mark tried to swallow the flustered feeling that was rising in his throat.
“Don’t stab me in the eye.” Simon warned, but it was light hearted, and Mark laughed a bit.
“I promise I don’t want to.” Mark reassured and Simon let out a small hum. Mark grabbed the comb and began to straighten out the hair at the front of Simon’s face.
It was easier now for Simon to see Mark. Sure he had seen the man before, but not up close like this, and not for this long. He was able to see how Mark’s eyebrows furrowed when he was concentrating, how even when he wasn’t thinking about it he still had a small smile on his face, how when he picked up the scissors he made sure Simon saw them in his hand before raising them up further. It was all so gentle.
Something bloomed in Simon’s chest that he did not want to immediately acknowledge.
Mark carefully continued to trim Simon’s hair, making sure he held it far enough away that the scissors wouldn’t come close to Simon’s eyes, and Simon continued to stare at him. When he was done he let it fall back gently on Simon’s head, carefully pushing it around as a way of styling it gently.
Without much thinking Simon reached forward and grabbed Mark by the wrist. Mark froze instantly, and Simon could feel the way Mark’s heart rate picked up under his touch. Mark blinked a few times as his face blushed.
“Did I do something wrong?” Mark asked, slowly setting the pair of scissors down on the counter away from the both of them. Simon knew it was a precaution, but Simon wasn’t upset, so he just shook his head.
“No.” Simon answered truthfully. After a moment Mark slowly nodded. Mark was able to see a small red tint spreading across Simon’s face as well.
“Alright. Is there a reason why you’re holding my wrist?” Mark asked carefully, like he was trying not to provoke Simon.
“No.” Simon repeated. He let his hand drop from Mark’s wrist, it falling and resting on Mark’s hip. Mark let his hand fall, still staring at Simon. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just confused?” Mark admitted, the confusion very clear in his tone. Simon nodded slowly. “What’s uh- what going on-”
Mark was cut off by Simon kissing him on the lips. Mark kissed him back just a moment before he pulled back. Both of their hearts were beating faster, both faces beet red.
“Woah Simon.” Mark said instantly, but he didn’t step back, he didn’t push away. He wasn’t offended by it, just caught off guard.
“Was that okay?” Simon asked, nervous he had done something wrong. Mark was the one true friend he considered to have here, if he messed up that connection then he would have no-
Mark kissed Simon this time, and after letting his anxiety settle for just a second he kissed back. Simon gripped onto Mark’s waist and brought him in slightly closer, just because he could. When they pulled away this time they both were calmer than the first time.
“Yeah that was okay.” Mark finally answered and Simon couldn’t help but smile. “You smiling over there Simon?”
“Yeah whatever.” Simon scoffed. Mark grinned and brought his hand up to mess with Simon’s hair again.
“I think I did a pretty good job.” Mark praised himself and Simon rolled his eyes.
“I’m sure you did.” Simon said. He hadn’t been able to see the final product yet.
“You should let me clean up your beard next.” Mark joked and Simon dropped his smile.
“Don’t push it.” Simon warned.
“Wait we can make out but I can’t trim your beard?”