Chapter Text
Things were a lot easier when Ryland was alone.
Don’t get him wrong, he loved being around Rocky and Simon, he really did. He loved not being completely by himself, he loved having travel buddies, he loved their movie nights, everything.
Except the lack of total privacy.
Rocky was his own slight barrier when he got here, especially with his constant want and need to watch Ryland sleep, but if he said that was just going to read or something Rocky didn’t question it. When Simon popped outta midair covered in blood and on the verge of death, well that was a whole other problem.
First it was the issue with Simon being scared of Rocky at first, untrusting of any alien no matter how friendly. So Simon stuck to Ryland’s side, constantly. When that finally ended, trust established on all sides, there was still the issue of sleeping.
Simon didn’t love sleeping, night terrors plagued him horribly, but when he did sleep he slept in the bed right next to Ryland’s. This was convenient for Ryland to help if Simon needed anything, but that meant Ryland had to tuck away his stuffed animals and soft patterned blankets. He also moved his pacifier from under his pillow to tucked away in his clothing container.
Things got more complicated when they began dating. Ryland had mixed feelings about telling Simon about his age regression. For one he could tell him, but that ran the risk of Simon judging him, hating him, breaking up with him, and then they’d be stuck on Erid for the rest of their lives like that. On the other hand he could keep it to himself forever, but he’d be lying to Simon on some level, and he’d basically never get to regress. He hadn’t since Simon arrived at this point, he had no privacy right now.
Once they arrived on Erid it was kind of assumed that Ryland would get more privacy, just because there was so much space in their biodome, and he did sometimes. Simon would occasionally teach the pebbles different things from his universe, sharing culture Ryland called it. It wasn’t as often as he liked, it was good for both Simon and the pebbles, but it was still time Ryland got alone to himself.
Time where he didn’t have to worry or stress about everything, time where he could cuddle with stuffed animals and blankets, he could use his pacifier without anyone staring at him, and he would boot up cartoons on one of the laptops. He thanked Stratt for downloading all of the internet onto the laptops, Disney plus was a godsend.
Unfortunately he fell asleep one afternoon, just too comfortable wrapped in a blanket covered in stars, cuddling his navy blue teddy bear that was covered in gold stars, using his galaxy themed pacifier (he loved the stars, what could he say?) By the time Simon got back Ryland hadn’t woken up yet, so when he went to go find him he stumbled upon the sleeping man.
The sound of the bedroom door opening was enough to wake Ryland up, but he was still little, and now confused. Simon on the other hand was just as confused.
“Uh, Ryland?” Simon asked tentatively. Ryland blinked up at Simon for a moment, then he somewhat registered what was happening.
In Ryland’s regressed mind all he could realize was that there was an adult standing right there, and he was surrounded by his little gear. He didn’t comprehend that it was his boyfriend, because who else would it be on this planet, and so he did what kids do when they get scared, Ryland burst out into tears.
“Woah, woah, woah.” Simon said rapidly, a small habit he picked up from the Eridians. Simon was someone who only liked physical contact every once in a while, but he knew it meant everything to touch starved Ryland, so he walked forward and held out his arms a bit.
Instead of it being a welcoming gesture to Ryland, it scared him a bit. His little mind was always vaguely terrified of adults, especially so after he was forced onto the mission. Ryland fell back into the bed a little bit more, trying to put distance between him and the grown up.
“Hey, Ryland, it’s okay.” Simon attempted to reassure. Yeah he was confused, but this was still Ryland, this was still his boyfriend. “What’s going on?”
Ryland had dropped his pacifier by now so in between a handful of his sobs he blabbered out some words, though it didn’t make a lot of sense. What Simon could understand tugged at his heart strings.
“Sorry- Gross- Bad- Tired-“
“Ryland, please take a deep breath.” Simon said, worried about how he was starting to hyperventilate.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Ryland sobbed out. Simon took a deep breath of his own before moving forward quickly. Ryland didn’t even have time to react and be scared before Simon had his arms wrapped around Ryland.
Ryland’s head still felt so fuzzy. He usually regressed to younger ages, but he had been tossed closer to three years old. However old his brain felt it was still confusing, feeling like he was full of cotton and glitter.
The feeling of one warm real arm and one cool metal arm wrapped around Ryland was a grounding sensation. It also was so familiar that Ryland now recognized who it was.
“Si?” Ryland asked and Simon pulled back from the hug, looking at Ryland and nodding. Simon let his hands drop to around Ryland’s waist. Ryland on the other hand stared at Simon and then began sobbing again. He still was very afraid Simon would hate him for this.
“Hey, what are all those tears for?” Simon asked softly, watching as Rylands hand searched for the nearest stuffed animal before he snatched it up, and clutched it in his arms. Ryland tucked himself into the teddy bear like it would hide him, though he didn’t push himself out of Simon’s arms.
“You hate me!” Ryland got out between sobs and Simon frowned. He looked around for a second before he snatched the pacifier off the bed, and popped it in Ryland’s mouth.
Ryland was very startled and confused by the gesture but accepted it anyway. It was enough to silence his sobs but he still had tears falling down his face rapidly. Simon reached forward with his regular hand as gently wiped some of the tears away, though they were quickly replaced.
“I never said that I hate you, so don’t you dare say that either.” Simon said in a low tone. Ryland found himself nodding instantly, though it didn’t lessen his anxiety. “Just because I’m not entirely sure what’s going on does not mean that I automatically hate it okay? I just have to figure it out.”
Ryland nodded and bunched up his cardigan sleeves around his hands before he wiped his own tears away. He hiccupped softly behind his pacifier as he let his hands settle back down around his stuffed animal. He was trying to think about the things Simon was saying, but it was so so hard.
Simon didn’t push for anything more. He didn’t ask anymore questions, didn’t try to push Ryland any further. He just let him try to relax again.
They sat there for a bit while Ryland continued to calm down little by little. Simon wrapped his arms back around Ryland to hug him tightly. Ryland ended up leaning into the touch this time around, melting in Simon’s grasp.
Simon fully took inventory of the items around them, at least the ones he hadn’t seen before. All of it seemed so childish to him, but perhaps that was the whole point. Now that Ryland wasn’t scared he seemed so relaxed in his arms, more relaxed then he had seen the whole time they knew each other.
“Ryland?” Simon asked quietly after a while. Ryland looked up at Simon, pacifier still in his mouth, stuffed animal still in his hands. It was cute. “Does having this kid stuff help you relax?”
“Being like a kid sometimes does.” Ryland mumbled around his pacifier as he nodded. Simon could see why, it seemed to help him calm down.
“Okay.” Simon said and Ryland looked up at him, a confused look on his face. “What?”
“You don’t think is icky?” Ryland asked and Simon nearly laughed at the childish phrasing.
“No Ry. I told you, I just gotta figure it out. I kinda got it figured out now, and we’ll need to talk more in depth at some point when you don’t feel like a kid, but it’s okay.” Simon reassured and Ryland wanted to cry again, this time out of relief.
Instead Ryland wrapped his arms around Simon’s neck and pulled him close for a hug. Simon hugged him back, but frowned slightly when he felt tears in his shoulder. Ryland was crying again, but when Simon tried to pull back he whined loudly.
“I’m not going anywhere, I’m just trying to see what’s making you upset.” Simon tried but Ryland shook his head and gripped on tighter. “Okay, we can stay here for a while.”
And that’s what they did. Eventually Simon was able to pull back from the hug, but only because Ryland had drifted off to sleep. He had been overwhelmed and now he was over exhausted. Simon gave him a small kiss on the forehead before he helped Ryland lay down on the bed.
Simon grabbed a blanket nearby and threw it over Ryland, the soft star pattern covering Ryland head to toe. He ensured Ryland had a stuffed animal in his hands, and made sure the pacifier hadn’t moved.
Simon never had a chance to really care for someone, not like this. There were no kids on Eden, but Simon often imagined what if there were. This was probably the closest he would get, other than helping teach the pebbles, but he didn’t mind. Ryland was slightly adorable like this.
That didn’t mean that he didn’t have questions. This wasn’t something he had heard of in Eden, maybe it was popular where Ryland was from. Maybe Simon could convince Rocky to help him figure out a laptop again so he could do some research.
At some point Simon tried to slide out of bed, but Ryland turned slightly in his sleep, his face becoming one of distress. As soon as Simon stilled so did Ryland, so with a sigh he settled himself in the bed more. He could probably do with a nap himself.
Simon used his arm to pull Ryland close to himself, wrapping it around his waist to hold onto him. Ryland leaned into Simon a bit more and let out a soft sigh in his sleep.