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Sure, Hoseok is cute (beautiful, gorgeous, radiant, mesmerizing, etc) but, Yoongi didn't really think he would be this much of a gooey mess of feelings for him. He's never really felt like this about anyone before. Ff course he's had crushes and blushed over small things they did however, it's never been quite like this before. It's gotten to the point where Yoongi feels his mouth dry up just because Hoseok gives him that big grin where his mouth is the shape of a heart (honestly who the fuck has a smile in that shape? Jung Hoseok was out to kill him) and feeling like his heart is about to beat out of his chest whenever Hoseok touches him ( Hoseok is as touchy with Yoongi as he is with the other members and no, he's not jealous or upset by that, leave him alone). Overall, Yoongi has been harboring a crush on Hoseok since trainee days and has always been good at hiding that but now it's getting to be quite difficult.
Yoongi tries to be subtle about it but thinking it over, his ways of expression subtle signs of affection weren't actually so subtle. Honestly, what was Yoongi thinking? Screaming out Hoseok's name every 5 seconds in the Vlive when they reacted to their stage performance was just not a good idea. Yoongi knew he wasn't subtle but, he wasn't lying when he said that all he can ever see is Hoseok. Hoseok, the beautiful boy who radiates happiness and positivity that Yoongi has completely and madly fallen in love with.
Yoongi tries to tone it down, tries not to make his crush on Hoseok so obvious but when he was given that rose he couldn't help it. He glanced down at the pretty red flower in his hand and it immediately reminded him of Hoseok causing Yoongi to not even think twice about waiting off to the side to give Hoseok the rose. Yoongi could see the initial shock on Hoseok's face and Yoongi felt like he had blown it and now Hoseok is going to be aware of Yoongi's feelings and never talk to him again, but then Hoseok had directed another one of his pretty grins that make Yoongi want to kiss the daylights out of him. Yoongi didn't regret it one bit.
It wasn't until they had watched over yet another performance that Yoongi knows he really has to tone it down. Screaming, “J-HOPE!” when Hoseok isn't even on screen is obvious and Hoseok has caught on and doesn't usually laugh whenever Yoongi usually screams his name out.
“Ahh... why do you keep screaming out J-Hope? How many times have you screamed that out.” Hoseok had asked with an exasperated sigh, a smile on his face regardless but Yoongi hadn't seen it. Hoseok's words echoing in his head had Yoongi slightly frozen in his seat. Oh no. Was Hoseok annoyed that he kept doing that? All Yoongi had wanted to do was point out to everyone how incredibly talented Jung Hoseok is. If Hoseok is annoyed by this, how would he feel when he finds out Yoongi's true feelings towards him? He's gotta put a stop to this. He can't let Hoseok know that Yoongi is in love with him and then feel awkward and not have the close friendship they have now that Yoongi has worked so hard in. Being friends with Hoseok is better than Hoseok not liking him at all.
Yoongi begins to stop showing his affections. He doesn't point out Hoseok's moves anymore even if the other member's do it from the habit they picked up from Yoongi initially. He stops leaving lingering touches on Hoseok's skin, staying a clear distance from him in case he forgets and reaches out to Hoseok unintentionally. He doesn't really look at Hoseok anymore, in case he looks at him and gets mesmerized by Hoseok's beauty once again and won't be able to get the love struck expression out of his face. Hoseok picks up on Yoongi's change in behavior and he isn't happy about it at all.
It happens when Yoongi is leaving the studio. Ignoring Hoseok and pretending like he isn't irreversibly in love with the younger is taking quite a toll on him and the only thing to help him out is to work on some songs (it doesn’t help much as most of the lyrics he was able to write tonight was just sappy poetry about the moon being in love with the sun. Yoongi being the moon and Hoseok the sun, just cliché bullshit like that. He'll always be a cliché for Hoseok). He doesn't expect to see Hoseok outside the door, his fist held up as if he was just about the knock and Yoongi flushes.
“Um, Hoseok-ah, what are you doing here?”
Hoseok doesn't hesitate to speak but he can feel his voice wobble a bit, “Why have you been ignoring me hyung?” and the way Hoseok says it breaks Yoongi's heart. Hoseok is clearly looking at Yoongi with hurt, his mouth in the triangle shape that Yoongi hates seeing so much and Yoongi basically wants to punch himself so much right now. He made his Hoseok upset.
“I haven't been ignoring you..”, Yoongi says it in a low voice, he looks down at the floor as he bites his lip, wondering on what to do. He can't look Hoseok straight in the eye while lying to him but he also can't let Hoseok know the true reason on why he's been doing it.
“That's a lie, yes you have hyung! Have I done something to wrong you? Whatever it is, I’m really sorry. I'll fix whatever it was right now, just tell me.” Yoongi can hear Hoseok's voice softening, almost cracking towards the end and Yoongi's head snaps up. He almost backs up against the wall in shock when he sees tears gathering up in Hoseok's eyes but not falling. Yoongi has never felt so much like a piece of shit in his life.
“No! No! You haven't done anything wrong Seokseok-ah!”, Yoongi's proclaims, his hands immediately cupping each side of Hoseok's as he uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears on Hoseok's face that should never shed. An upset Hoseok is an upset Yoongi.
“Then why have you been ignoring me?”, Hoseok asks as he melts in Yoongi's touch. He's missed his touch so much and seeing the older boy ignoring him hurt like no other.
Yoongi lets out a distressed sigh,standing conflicted on what do. Fuck it, he eventually things and just goes for it as he leans in to connect his lips with Hoseok's. Yoongi expected for Hoseok to push Yoongi away immediately, he braces himself for heartbreak but the push never comes. Instead, he feels Hoseok moving his lips against Yoongi's and wrapping his own arms around Yoongi's waist, bringing him closer as he let out a soft moan in the kiss. Yoongi has once thought that Hoseok's laugh was the most beautiful sound in the word but it may just go to 2nd place after he's heard what his moans sounds like. Yoongi would very much love to hear those moans in a different setting. Yoongi knew kissing Hoseok was going to be an amazing experience but it's actually better than that, he can't even put the feeling of how good it feels to kiss Hoseok into words. He could to be in Hoseok's arms, just kissing him for the rest of his life he could. However, the need for oxygen was too strong (stupid humans and their need for air to survive). When Yoongi pulls away and he sees Hoseok's beautiful heart shaped grin, he feels breathless once again. He can't believe this is happening right now, this is something Yoongi has dreamed about for 3 years and it's finally come true.
“I've been waiting for you to do that forever hyung. You're not very good at hiding at your feelings, did you know?” Hoseok says in a teasing voice.
Yoongi shuts him up with another kiss.