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Taesan doesn’t remember the last time he smiled. He doesn’t recall the sound of his own laughter.
For the longest time, what he only knew is exhaustion. Tiredness from working multiple jobs, from keeping food on his table, from everything. He is too tired to feel. Too tired to think. Too tired to live.
Even when the world ends today, Taesan would not bat an eye. Maybe on that day, for the first time in forever, he would be happy.
Until that day comes, he is stuck making deliveries just like he is now.
Taesan removed his helmet and head towards the hospital building. The distinct smell of disinfectant immediately hit his nose once he entered.
He reached the hospital room where two distress looking nurses clamors.
“Tsk that boy is causing ruckus again. Hey! Come here. I ordered the chicken.”
The man sitting on the bed called out to Taesan.
Ignoring the nurses, he quickly gave the food and leave the room.
While passing by the hospital veranda, he catches a silhouette of a boy.
Taesan stopped on his track gazing at the back of the blonde boy dangerously leaning on the hand railing.
“Are you going to jump?”
The boy turned around to look at him. Taesan noted how the boy’s hair beautifully dances along the wind. His beauty marks visible on his pale skin.
“You’re not going to die at this height. You might get broken limbs at the very least.”
“Do you know me?” The boy asked him.
Taesan dismissed it and walk closer to the railing. His tired eyes darted to the distance.
“The world will end eventually. When it happens, it will be satisfying to watch. It feels like the world is paying for all the shit it did to you. It will be the perfect revenge.”
Taesan pulled a stack of coupons on his pocket and handed it to the boy. “Don’t you think so?”
Taesan buried himself in the small table of the convenience store where he is resting. His mood sour as he got an earful from his boss for giving out stash of coupons.
Why did he do that in the first place?
Why did he bother saying that to a total stranger?
He is barely surviving himself.
Taesan got up from his seat.
He fixes his helmet and turn on the engine of his motorcycle.
No need to overthink it. He thought to himself.
“Delivery!” Taesan called out to the front desk of the hospital. He is about to leave when he saw that boy again. His gaze unconsciously follows his small back.
He found himself in the same hospital veranda.
“Are you planning to die again?”
Taesan asked the boy clad in patient’s clothes and black jacket.
He is sitting quietly on a wooden bench without even looking at Taesan who sits beside him.
The two sat in a comfortable silence.
At that moment, time seemingly froze for them.
The mess inside Taesan’s head suddenly stop.
“I want to see it.” The boy said softly.
His voice is so weak Taesan almost didn’t catch it.
Taesan looked at him in confusion. The boy must have sensed it and proceeded to explain. “The end of the world.”
“Ah, the revenge day.”
“I want to see this place burn into ashes when the world ends.”
The boy smiles with the thought. His eyes disappearing a little.
Something inside Taesan stirred at the sight.
His phone is vibrating inside his pocket, probably an order from a customer, but he ignored it.
Maybe Taesan can finally smile again.
“Delivery” Taesan knocked lightly at Riwoo’s hospital room. Since their interaction, Taesan has been visiting the boy often.
Sometimes they talk with each other. Most of the time, they just sit in silence. But neither didn’t mind. It seems like they already understand each other without having to say it in words.
The boy didn’t budge from the knocking at the door. Sitting on his bed, he stares at the window. Taesan didn’t say much either. After putting the pizza box on the table, he sat beside Riwoo.
“Hyung, when the world ends, let’s watch it together, okay?” Taesan asked the younger. His voice gentle as ever.
“I can’t wait to see it” Riwoo chuckled lightly and Taesan laughed along.
They continue to watch the leaves swaying outside the window. Humming a melody only them knew.
Taesan is so tired from having to work all day and night but somehow it all fade away when he is with Riwoo.
Riwoo is too tired from dealing with his weak body but somehow he gains strength whenever he is with Taesan.
Everyday felt like a tiring journey but being with each other feels like coming home.
Riwoo clings to his blanket. The cold seeps to his bone. He wanted to cry. He wanted to beg.
Let it stop. Riwoo pleaded. But there’s no one saving him.
Until Taesan came.
For the first time, he felt warmth.
Suddenly, he started hoping.
Maybe this is not too scary after all.
But reality is always harsh.
Right when everything feels alright, it will always come to drag you back down.
Riwoo’s condition significantly worsen.
His mom cried beside him while his dad holds his hand tightly.
But the only thing that came up to his mind is his name.
Taesan.
“Hyung, I brought pizza.”
“Let’s eat.”
Taesan’s gentle voice echoed inside the room. A smile lingering on his face.
He sat on Riwoo’s bed.
Riwoo who is lying on his bed didn’t dare look at him.
“I’m not eating.” Riwoo weakly answered. He can’t trust his voice right now.
“Feeling down? Do you want to take a walk?”
Taesan’s voice is even more gentle now.
Riwoo felt a pang on his chest. A pain that is far too painful compared to any medical procedures de underwent.
“No.” Riwoo steadied his voice hoping Taesan wouldn’t notice.
But Taesan knew him well.
Taesan watched Riwoo. Waiting. Worrying.
He didn’t push him too quickly.
He gave him time.
He held his hand.
“Hyung, let’s watch the end of the world together.” He tried to smile but tears started streaming down his face.
Riwoo nodded. He close his eyes as tears drop uncontrollably from them.
That night, in the quiet hospital halls, the two run away holding each other’s hand. Only the moonlit sky is bearing witness to their fading silhouettes.
Taesan drives his motorcycle to the street. The warmth radiating from his back reminds him that Riwoo is still with him. The hands enveloping him keeps Taesan grounded.
The breezy night offers comfort to their souls. The city lights are dancing around them as if the world revolves only for them.
Riwoo feels the air on his bones. He smiles feeling alive for once. As long as he is with Taesan, he won’t ask for more. This is more than enough.
Taesan laugh and shout and smile. He never imagined he can feel this way again. Only Riwoo can make him feel alive. He is whole when he is with him.
If tonight is the end of the world, they would gladly accept it. They would happily watch it.
Together.
Like they promised.
This is worth it.
Meeting each other is worth it.
Sitting beside each other, the two watch as the sky slowly turns bright. At the hospital veranda where they first met.
Riwoo smiles at him.
“Thank you for making me want to live each day.”
Riwoo’s body feels weak but surprisingly he feels strong, brave even.
Taesan drape his arm around Riwoo allowing the boy to lean on him.
Riwoo hums basking in Taesan’s warmth.
The heavy weight he’s been carrying for a very long time has been lifted.
The smell of the morning dew permeates the air.
Leaves sway in the soft blowing of the air.
The city is serene awaiting for the sun to fully rise signaling a new day has come.
“Thank you, hyung. Next time, let’s watch the end of the world together.” Taesan kissed his forehead.
The world didn’t end that day.
But for Taesan it ended. Beautifully. Peacefully.
If there will be another life, let’s meet again.
If there exists another world, let’s live there.
Happily.
Together.
Riwoo stares at the photo of two boys hanging in the hospital’s bulletin board.
He smiled to himself.
“Hyung!” Taesan called waving at him.
Riwoo run to him.
Taesan catching him in his arms.
“I think I mess it up” Riwoo nervously laugh.
He tasted the soup for the second time doubting the first try. But his head tilted as he himself concluded that he indeed messed up the seasonings.
“Let me try”
Riwoo scoop a little broth feeding it to Taesan.
“Hm it’s not that bad, hyung.” Taesan comforted him patting his head.
“No, it’s tasted weird. Don’t force yourself.”
“Eyy it’s good hyung. I’ll eat it.”
Riwoo feels bad but Taesan reassures him by offering him a sweet smile.
“Here, let me help”
Taesan gently fixes the helmet for Riwoo.
“Ready?”
Riwoo excitedly nodded.
Taesan takes Riwoo for a night drive. In his motorcycle, they traverse the long highway.
Riwoo throws his hands in the air feeling the midnight breeze on his cheeks.
Taesan smiled stealing a glance at Riwoo through the side mirror.
He picked up his speed and bolted along the road as they shout and laugh together.
“If this is a dream, I don’t wanna wake up anymore.”
Taesan whispered.
He stares at Riwoo who is sound asleep beside him.
Stroking his blonde locks, he kissed him good night.
He closed his eyes drifting into deep sleep.