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When Neve went into the dining area for her third cup of coffee of the morning, Lace and Bellara were sitting on the couch chatting.
“I’m sure we’ll be going back to –” Lace was saying, and broke off when she saw Neve. “Oh, Neve! It’s so good to see you.”
“We all really missed you,” Bellara added.
Neve crossed the room to get her coffee and came back with the precious hot cup in hand. She’d been short on coffee while hiding from Venatori in Minrathous, even shorter on good coffee. “It’s nice to be back,” she said blandly.
A true sentiment, but incomplete. She was here for the job. The job was important. It still felt a little like she’d cut and run. She could have stayed in Minrathous, maybe should have. She had to admit she was enjoying the quiet of the Lighthouse, but she felt guilty about it too, considering what the Shadow Dragons and the people of Minrathous were dealing with. Fire and shattered buildings and the Venatori killing their enemies right out in the open, and there was the anger back again to go with the guilt.
“Do you want to join us?” Bellara shifted over on the couch to make room, her face bright and encouraging.
Neve took a deep breath, pushing the fury away. It wasn’t Bel’s fault, and she might as well take the time to sip one cup of coffee and catch up. “Sure, I could use a break.”
She took the offered place and accepted Bellara’s quick sideways hug. She had missed their company. She had missed Bellara’s chatter, her kindness and intelligence, her surprisingly sweet optimism; she’d missed Lace’s sharp observantness and steady compassion; she’d missed Lucanis’s flashes of mordant humor.
She’d missed Rook, too, but she didn’t want to think about him right now.
“What are you working on?” Bellara asked while Neve sipped her coffee.
“Just cleaning up my office. Everything’s a mess, papers everywhere, notes all jumbled.”
Lace said, “That’s funny, I don’t think anyone went in there while you were gone.”
“Must have been the wisps.” Neve sipped her coffee. She was a little surprised the wisps had stayed in her absence; there must be something about the place rather than her.
“I took notes,” Bellara offered. “While you were gone, I mean, about the things we were doing. They’re probably not as nice as yours, but I thought it might help?”
Neve smiled. The expression felt rusty on her face, unfamiliar. “Sure, Bel, I’d love to see them.”
“And there was… where did Rook put the stuff we got for Neve?” Bellara turned to Lace. “Do you remember?”
“I think the music room off the library.” Lace’s eyes flicked back to Neve. “He didn’t want to intrude on your space.”
“Mm.” Neve drank. “What stuff?”
“Some sort of wand, I don’t use them and neither does the Professor, and I think maybe a coat?” Bellara frowned. “There was definitely something.”
“Yes, an armored coat,” Lace said. “We found them in Minrathous. I was surprised there were still shops open with everything going on, but I guess commerce stops for nobody.”
Neve blinked in surprise. “When were you in Minrathous?” It wasn’t unusual for them to find useful odds and ends in their explorations, nor for Rook to invest what coin they had in better equipment, given the opportunity. But she would have expected them to shop in Treviso or with the Veil Jumpers or… anywhere but Minrathous, really. The idea that they’d come without her made something twist in her chest.
“A couple of days ago?” Bellara said. “Or… maybe more than a couple of days, I think I’ve lost track.”
“It wasn’t long after the attack, actually,” Lace said. “We were still waiting to hear back from our contacts, so I think it was right before we went to the Necropolis.”
“Oh, right! The Necropolis was just fascinating, and somehow the Venatori had broken in, did anyone tell you, Neve?”
Rook might have, if she hadn’t shut down that conversation before he’d said more than two words. “No,” she said carefully. “Now that I think about it, I remember Rana mentioning she’d seen you and Rook in the city.” She’d seen Rana only briefly, to take over escorting some people who needed to get to a safer location fast, and it had slipped out of her mind while she’d been preoccupied with the rest of the escort mission.
“We got ambushed by Venatori three times that day, I think,” Lace said.
Neve winced and rubbed her forehead. “Ah. Yes. I’m sure they’ve been watching the shop. We managed to clear out a lot of the papers and people before they hit it, but there wasn’t time to move the eluvian.” The damn thing was just too big and bulky to move easily.
Lace nodded. “Right priorities.”
“I felt really bad about the shopkeeper,” Bellara said softly.
Neve took a breath and stared down at the mug in her hands. Lorelei, Hector, so many others… Lace and Bellara and Rook had tripped a trap meant for Shadows, no doubt, and likely given the Venatori a surprise. She wondered how many more people they’d lose before she got back, and forcibly turned her attention elsewhere. “I hope you made the Venatori pay.”
“Of course,” Lace said. When Neve looked up, she found the other woman’s eyes still steady on her. Lace gave her a faint smile. “I think we all had some feelings to work out.”
“Rook especially,” Bellara added.
Neve’s lips tightened. She nodded, not quite trusting herself to speak, and took another drink. She shouldn’t be surprised that the team had come back to Minrathous, that they’d tried to offer help. Rook had had to make a terrible decision, and much as she selfishly wished he’d made a different one, that didn’t mean he was callous or heedless of the impact of the choice. She shouldn’t be surprised that he’d care.
Somehow she was. The surprise sank down somewhere to mingle with the guilt and the anger.
Lace said, “I knew he had a reputation for recklessness among the Wardens, but he’s not usually… that reckless.”
Neve snorted in spite of herself and found her voice. “Dropping a lot of statuary on Solas’s head doesn’t count?”
Lace winced but shook her head. “I’d call that more desperate than reckless, honestly. This was different.”
“He pushed… really hard,” Bellara added.
“And fast, too,” Lace said.
Bellara nodded. “It was a little tricky to keep up. Against the darkspawn, too.”
Neve raised her eyebrows. “Darkspawn and Venatori, again? Both of them?”
“Separately,” Lace said. “We ran into a wounded Grey Warden, they’d been fighting a darkspawn incursion in the catacombs.”
Ashur had asked for Grey Warden assistance after the earlier darkspawn incident. Probably even with his real name and rank, both difficult to ignore. The First Warden might not be willing to believe in blighted gods, but darkspawn crawling out of holes in the ground was squarely Warden business. It made sense they’d sent someone.
“It felt good to do something, at least,” Bellara said, her face growing somber.
“I know it only helps so much,” Lace added.
Silence fell. Bellara fidgeted beside Neve.
Neve swallowed, aware of Lace’s quiet gaze. She was not about to break down into tears. She hated crying, and she’d chosen to come back here.
…well, if you wanted to be particular about it: Ashur had told her to get herself back here.
“I’m needed here,” she’d protested.
“The blighted gods are the root of the problem, and you’re the one who has the skills and the contacts with Rook’s team,” he’d said. “I’d say you’re needed there.”
She had chosen, all the same. There was a job to do, and she wasn’t going to fall apart just because someone mentioned Minrathous.
To break the mood, she said briskly, “Well, Dock Town certainly doesn’t need darkspawn bursting out of the catacombs. Thank you for that.” She took a sip. “What was that about Venatori and the Necropolis, Bellara?”
Bellara took the bait and told her, in excited and non-chronological detail, while Neve finished her coffee. Lace recognized what Neve was doing, she thought, but she just curled into her chair and let Bellara talk.
Neve did want to know about the Venatori in the Grand Necropolis, anyway. Any clues about what their plans were could help.
When Bellara’s story had wound down and Neve’s cup was empty, Neve departed, leaving Lace and Bellara to pick up their conversation. She took two steps out the door and stopped short.
Rook was outside, bending down next to Assan. Trying, she saw after a moment, to teach the griffon to shake hands.
She debated with herself. He hadn’t noticed her presence; she could just go back to the office and the job of tidying up her piles of disarranged papers. Nothing had changed. She’d resolved, coming back, that she had to keep a little distance with Rook. This was still a job, even if no one was paying her, except in meals and lodging and gear… The point was, she supposed Rook was the client now since Varric was gone, and it was better not to get personal with a client. Before, she’d let herself start sliding toward something else with him. That had been a mistake. Now, it was better to keep things professional.
All the same, she moved toward him instead of her own door. He must have heard her steps, because he straightened and turned to face her, his expression slightly guarded. “Hey, Neve,” he said, pleasantly enough.
“Hey,” she said, keeping her voice steady. “Lace and Bellara told me you all went to Minrathous while I was away.”
He grimaced a little and shook out his arms. “Oh. Yeah. We thought we’d pitch in and try to help, but didn’t, um. Find any Shadow Dragons we could assist.”
Neve nodded. “Everyone who can has gone to ground. Thanks for trying.” The effort mattered. She’d had to tell herself that often enough when she got up in the morning.
“We took out some Venatori and darkspawn for you,” he offered. His shoulders tensed. “For what that’s worth.”
“It’s worth something,” she said. “Thanks for that, too.”
“Something,” he murmured, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Least I – we could do.”
They stood in another awkward silence. Neve missed, fiercely, how easily they’d talked to each other, before. When they’d stood on the dock eating fried fish and licking their fingers, talking about jobs gone wrong and paths not taken, and she’d let herself bask in the afternoon sunlight and Rook’s smile.
Ash and blight and Venatori treachery sat between then and now, and her heart was too bruised by the guilt and the anger.
Assan squawked and butted his head into Rook from behind. It startled him into a laugh, and as he turned to pet the griffon, Neve made her escape from the awkwardness. She retreated – calmly, professionally, not hurrying – into her office where the wisps and papers waited for her.