Chapter Text
Current estimated time until arrival at Erid: 2 weeks, 3 days, 4 hours, 30 minutes.” Mary's voice chimed softly through the ship’s speakers, calm and emotionless in the way only an artificial intelligence could manage.
Grace barely acknowledged it.
The mental health dome glowed dim blue around him, humming in a slow rhythm as its artificial sky cycled through a sequence of Earth’s prettiest moments, a lavender sunset bleeding across the Pacific, then storm clouds rolling heavily over the Midwest, thunderheads bruised purple in fading light, all in an attempt to trick the starving human brain into believing it wasn’t trapped inside a metal coffin drifting through deep space.
Grace lay curled tightly on his side at the center of the dome, cold metal pressing beneath him. His knees were drawn close to his chest, one arm wrapped protectively around his stomach while the other clutched the quilt higher over his shoulder. he exhaled shakily through his nose, his breathing came out shallow and uneven.
Usually the dome helped a little, the fake wind and distant birdsong softened the edges of things enough for him to pretend , just for a few minutes that he wasn’t slowly starving to death light-years from home.
Tonight it didn’t help at all.
The projection shifted again, warm gold spreading slowly across the screens as the simulated sunset deepened. Soft amber light washed over Grace in gentle waves. It should have made him look peaceful, Instead it only made it impossible to ignore how frighteningly thin he’d become.
He wore only a t-shirt and some sleeping pants, both hanging awkwardly from his skurvy body in a way that made it painfully obvious they no longer fit him anymore. The shirt used to sit comfortably against his frame. Now it draped from him. The stretched collar had slipped crookedly over one shoulder, exposing pale skin and the sharp jut of collarbone beneath it. Under the warm glow of the sunset projection, the bone cast faint shadows against his skin.
Everything showed now.
Every angle. Every outline. Every place starvation had hollowed him out. The thin fabric clung enough to reveal the shape of his ribs whenever he breathed. Almost sharply enough to count, every inhale looked too shallow, too fragile. There was almost nothing left of the body he used to have.
Months ago, he’d still had his usual energy — tired, maybe, but functional. Strong. Capable.
That strength was gone.
Starvation had stripped it away piece by piece. His arms looked painfully thin beneath the oversized sleeves, reduced to narrow lines and sharp joints where muscle used to be. Fabric bunched around his upper arms because there simply wasn’t enough left underneath to fill it out anymore. Even his wrists looked wrong, the bones standing out beneath pale skin, delicate enough that one bad fall looked like it might break them.
His trembling hand rested tighter against his stomach.
The quilt slipped lower as he shifted, revealing more of his legs beneath the loose fabric of his pants. Human legs were supposed to look sturdy — built to carry weight, to endure.
Grace’s looked like they barely carried him anymore.
The material gathered in hollow folds around his thighs, too much fabric over too little body. His knees pressed sharply upward whenever he curled tighter into himself, angular beneath skin stretched thin over bone. Even lying still, he looked exhausted. Worn down.
"Urgh-" a small cramp twisted low without a warning in his stomach. Grace stiffened against it, Not painful exactly, not the sharp empty agony he remembed, but something quieter. A dull pull. A reminder
Hunger. Real hunger.
The feeling startled him more than it should have, His hand pressed instinctively harder against his stomach, fingers trembling faintly beneath the quilt, His breathing broke into shallow, uneven pulls as the cramp tightened beneath his ribs, deep and vicious. Hunger didn’t feel empty anymore.It felt violent.
For weeks his body had gone quiet — no appetite, no pleading ache, just numbness that made rationing easier. Grace was almost glad he hadn’t felt hungry in a while, he’d been grateful for it. It made rationing easier. He ignored the dizziness. Ignored the trembling in his hands, Ignored how weak climbing ladders had started to make him feel and eventually, his body stopped asking for food altogether. It made things easier, the hunger had disappeared almost completely, just like his supplies that had run low a long time ago. There was barely anything left besides a few coma slurrys, some taumoeba cultures and pretty sure some coffee if he looked hard enough, barley enough to reach Erid. Grace made sure of it
he kept cutting portions smaller and smaller, If he ignored what his body was trying desperately to tell him. He could survive this, but arriving at Erid wasn’t the only problem,
Because what would he do when they landed?
Grace couldn’t exactly walk into an Eridian grocery store, he had no idea how long repairs would take. No idea how long the food solving would take.
Day?.
Weeks?.
Months?.
The supplies he had left weren’t just travel rations anymore.
They were emergency reserves.
If he ate what his body actually wanted right now, what it desperately needed— he’d make it to Erid with nothing left afterward.
That possibility terrified him more than the hunger did, so he rationed harder.
Scientifically.
Logically.
Stupidly.
Until now, Now the hunger was back, crueler than b-
a sudden sharp cramp brought him back from his thoughts.
"Holy Fudge" Grace gasped out
He stiffened instantly as pain folded through him without warning. His breathing broke unevenly. Grace curled tighter beneath the quilt, forehead pressing weakly against his arm while the cramp tightened low in his abdomen.
“Mmm… come on…” His voice came out rough and thin in the dome.
After a short while The cramp loosened just enough to let him pull a shaky breath into his lungs. Grace swallowed hard against the nausea climbing quietly up his throat.
He hated this. God, he hated this.
The artificial birdsong drifted softly through the dome, gentle and warm. It almost felt like it's mocking him but, strangely a small melody caught his attention, the melody sounds slightly familiar
It made Grace think of Rocky
Grace swallowed against another wave of nausea, Rocky.. right, He should go back, Go back to his best friend.
for the first time in days, Rocky had finally seemed calm enough to sleep without repeatedly asking — through quiet worried octaves — whether Grace would be okay if Rocky sleeps, it took a lot of convincing and promises for Rocky to stop asking that and getting comfortable.
And like always, Grace promised he'd watch him sleep, Grace hated those sad chirps, the sad worried clicking, he hated to see Rocky like that, worrying about him all the time, Lately there had been far too much worried clicking,
probably because Rocky noticed everything.
Of course he did, his echolocation is perfect. No privacy when your best friend could literally hear your heartbeat from across the room. At first Rocky reacted the way he usually did - weird humor wrapped awkwardly around genuine concern.
“Leaky space blob leaks again, Ew disgust"
Grace remembered staring down at the blood across his palm after a coughing fit, Bright red. Too bright, Cold panic had crept quietly through his chest. He shoved it down immediately. "It’s just blood,” he’d muttered weakly.
"Outstanding medical assessment Grace, Gold star" he thought to himself
"Blood?! Blood?! Grace okay??, Question?" Rocky bumped into his leg "Grace sit down, need Armando, question?"
“jeez no need, I’m gonna be alright, Rocky"
He was NOT convinced, Rocky forced Grace into medical bay and made him take a nap, honestly? Grace felt 1% better after that
Another time Rocky had stopped halfway through one of his projects, starring at Grace for several long seconds “Grace looks different Hm. Rocky does not like, Statement.” Even exhausted and dizzy, Grace laughed weakly at that “Wow, Did you just call me ugly?” Rocky clicked sharply in immediate protest “No! Grace shape wrong, very wrong, but Rocky still thinks Grace looks pretty even if Grace is so wobbly.” That nearly made him sob uncontrollably but also him? Pretty? At his state?
"Je..Jesus Christ, Rocky" Grace didn't know how to feel about it, but despite that he was still flattered
apparently being emotionally blindsided by an alien engineer calling you “wobbly but pretty” was just a thing now.
After that, Grace started realizing exactly how little he could actually hide anymore.
The dragged footsteps, the subtle way he leaned against walls pretending he wasn’t about to fall over, the shallow breathing after small amounts of effort.
Rocky heard all of it. And somehow that made everything worse, because Grace could handle starving (Somewhat), Could handle dizziness, the weakness, but what he couldn’t handle was knowing Rocky is constantly hearing him, constantly worried about him.
"Grace must eat, please eat" a memory arrived sharp and immediate, Grace was laying on the floor, distract himself with a book he wasn't really processing.
"later, can’t waste supplies Rock.” Rocky stumped in protest
“Not waste if keep Grace alive.” Grace sighed
"Rocky... Food is limited, I can't eat right now" Rocky didn't like that answer, his melody dropping lower and more uneven, Grace pretended not to notice the hidden fear underneath it
“No! Grace body failing,” Rocky continued immediately
Grace remembered forcing out a weak laugh despite how violently his hands were shaking.
“Little dramatic there, Rock.”
“Rocky NOT dramatic!” Rocky’s chirping had gone sharp and distressed. “Grace dangerous-thin. Grace barely standing. Grace not eating enough! Heart sounds bad bad bad bad ”
Grace looked away from him, hearing genuine fear in Rocky’s voice hurt worse than the dizziness did.
“We have low supplies,” he whispered eventually. “You know that.”
“Rocky does not care about supplies.”
“Well, I do.”
“Grace must eat.”
“And THEN what?” Grace snapped before he could stop himself. “What happens when we run out completely before Erid?! Or when we arrive in Erid and I will starve there?!"
Rocky went completely silent instantly, lowering his body "......mm.. sorry"
Regret hit Grace so fast it hurt, tears had already started slipping down his face
“No Rocky, I— I’m sorry,” Grace whispered brokenly, hugging the xenonite ball. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you .” he started sobbing harder while hugging Rocky in his ball
Rocky stayed quiet for several seconds before pressing his carapace into the xenonite wall "Rocky just worried about Grace, Rocky does not want friend to die.”
Grace hated hearing the frightened chirping, That distressed chirping melody, Grace hated hearing it, the fearful chirping made his heart ache
Grace sniffeld and swallowed hard, forcing himself to smile slightly. “I’m okay, I'm going to be alright Rocky”
It was a lie, They both knew it, But Grace kept saying it anyway. “Don’t worry so much, alright?”
“Rocky will always worry about Grace, Rocky loves Grace" Grace swallowed hard "..I love you too Rock"
Pain folded sharply through his stomach hard enough to steal the breath from his lungs, shattering the memory instantly, Grace pressed the heel of his hand harder against his abdomen and curled tighter beneath the quilt. How long has he been laying here anyways? a few minutes? afew hours? He doesn't remember, it doesn't matter.
he should go back, he NEEDS to go back.
Rocky was asleep—paralyzed during his rest cycle, not about to suddenly wake up
but that wasn’t the point.
The point was Grace couldn’t bear the thought of Rocky finding out he’d spent the entire night curled on the floor trying not to cry through hunger cramps.
Rocky worried enough already.
Grace hated it.
So the second Rocky finally slept, Grace slipped away quietly to the Mental Health Dome, jusing far too much energy just climbing those stupid stairs.
Running away, like the coward he is, because if Grace was going to fall apart, he wanted to do it alone
Another sharp wave of pain tore through him. Grace folded tighter instantly, one trembling hand clutching weakly at the fabric over his stomach while his breathing broke hitched against the cold metal floor.
God It hurt.
It hurt so bad.
“Mmm— okay…” Grace whispered shakily to himself after several long painful moments, when the pain decided to calm down just a little. “Okay. Get up. Just— get up…”
He forced himself to move, and every muscle in his body protested immediately, One trembling hand planted against the floor, Pain flared immediately through his shoulder but Grace ignored it, gritting his teeth as he forced his weight forward.
His arms shook violently the second they took the load.
Too much.
Wayyy too much.
The movement sent dizziness crashing through him hard
enough to make his vision swim, Grace sucked in a sharp breath and pushed harder anyway.
Come on.
Come.ON.
His elbows buckled and without a warning, his arms gave out completely.
Grace dropped awkwardly back against the floor with a strained gasp, shoulder striking, hard enough to send pain shooting through him. “shhhhhhat—”
The effort alone left him breathing hard.
His muscles trembled uselessly beneath him, exhausted from something as stupidly simple as trying to push himself upright.
For several long seconds he just layed there, forehead pressed weakly against the cold floor while his pulse hammered unevenly through his ears.
God Seriously?
He couldn't even try to stand up anymore? The thought hit harder than it should have. He squeezed his eyes shut
No.Nope.Not doing this
Rocky was upstairs still asleep, still trusting Grace to be there when he woke up.
Grace scrubbed weakly at his face but he was determined, he planted one trembling hand against the floor again and pushed himself upward with visible effort. Every muscle protested instantly, but he didn't care, breath catching halfway through the motion as dizziness swarmed violently behind his eyes.
He paused there, swaying slightly while he fought the dizziness threatening to knock him sideways, the room tilted hard, His vision blurred, for one awful second he genuinely thought he might black out, Grace staggered upright anyway, one hand gripping tightly onto the nearby wall for support while his knees shook beneath him, he dragged himself upward inch by miserable inch. One hand braced desperately against the wall.
The room swayed around him in slow nauseating waves.
“Okay,” he breathed shakily. “Okay I got—”
Pain slammed through him, hard enough to steal the rest of the sentence from his mouth, Grace folded instantly around it with a broken pitiful gasp, and with that knees gave out beneath him before he could catch himself.
CRACK.
his head slammed hard against the metal floor, Bright pain exploded through his skull, Grace yelled out in pain but only a painful choking sound came out, the impact knocked the breath cleanly out of him.
Everything was ringing, loud, Disorienting
Grace lay sprawled flat on his back against the cold metal, completely stunned, his whole body shaking while the simulated sunset blurred overhead into smeared gold light.
The dome wouldn’t stop spinning.
God that-that was bad, Really bad.
Pain throbbed hot and deep behind his eyes, nausea followed immediately, violent enough to make him squeeze
his eyes shut. "This..." He sniffed, eyes full of tears "this fucking sucks"
Grace tried weakly to lift his head, but instantly regretted it, the room pitched violently while the pain flashed white-hot through his skull.
darkness had started gathering heavily around the edges of his vision now, ringing filled his ears in dull uneven waves.
No.
No no no.
Not here.
Rocky's waiting, Grace just wants to see Rocky, the only comfort in this hell of a mess
Grace forced air painfully back into his lungs and rolled clumsily onto his side with all his might. The movement sent fresh dizziness crashing through him immediately. His stomach lurched violently. His head pounded hard enough to make his vision flash white again for a second.
One shaking hand reached forward against the floor, Grace abandoned standing entirely, so he crawled.
Slow, Humiliatingly slow.
The cold metal scraped against his knees and palms as he pulled himself forward inch by miserable inch, breathing ragged and uneven around the lingering nausea.
The dome stretched endlessly around him.
Everything felt too far away.
His arms trembled harder with every movement. More than once he had to stop, forehead pressed weakly against the floor while blackness crowded aggressively into the corners of his vision. By the time he finally reached them, his whole body was aching.The staircase loomed above him like some kind of cruel joke.
Grace stared at it through blurred vision.
You had to be kidding.
A weak breath escaped him somewhere between exhausted laughter and despair.
“Outstanding…” he whispered hoarsely. “i just Love… stairs…”
The first step nearly defeated him.
He hauled himself upward awkwardly, gripping the railing hard enough his fingers hurt. His legs shook violently beneath him, threatening to give out every few seconds, the darkness kept creeping closer, while his heartbeat sounded wrong inside his ears.
Halfway up he nearly slipped, the sudden jolt sent a sharp cry through clenched teeth as pain twisted in his arms.
By the time he reached the top his whole body felt numb with exhaustion.
The corridor swayed around him, Grace stumbled forward clumsily, one hand dragging weakly against the wall for balance, he walked slowly through the corridors, fighting the urge to just fall to the floor and pass out
when he finally reached the lab area, Grace glared at the spherical pod
There he was, Right where Grace left him
Rocky, still sleeping, his carapace lifting slightly up and down in a soft rhythm
Right where Grace left him
Relief hit so hard it almost hurt, seeing Rocky made Grace feel slightly better
He made it, Barely but he made it.
He stumbled the last few steps toward the xenonite sphere, legs threatening collapse beneath him.
Grace let out a small broken breath, his forehead rested lightly against the sphere.
“I'm here, Rock…” he whispered softly, calm went through his exhausted body. Grace felt more comfortable when he was with him.
Something wet slid slowly down the back of his neck, Grace frowned at the feeling
"huh?"
Slowly, clumsily, he lifted one shaking hand toward the back of his head, his fingers brushed damp hair.
Wet.
Grace pulled his hand back into view.
Blood.
Dark against pale trembling fingers.
For a second he just stared.
Blankly.
His exhausted brain struggling to catch up to what he was looking at.
"Oh."
The adrenaline disappeared almost instantly, like someone had cut the wire holding him upright.
The last stubborn reserve of momentum keeping him moving simply… vanished, his stomach dropped, the corridor swayed violently around him, Grace's knees buckled without warning, no attempt to catch himself, there was simply no strength left for it.
Grace collapsed hard against the floor beside Rocky’s enclosure, his shoulder striking metal with a dull impact as the world tilted sharply sideways around him.
Darkness crowded rapidly into the edges of his vision, bis body felt impossibly distant suddenly.
“Rock…” he managed faintly.
Panic surged in his chest ,two weeks from Erid, is he going to die? was this really how he was going to die? after everything?
God that's so embarrassing, so weak
No he can't, he can't give up like this, he couldn’t, he couldn’t do that to Rocky.
But his thoughts wandered apart, slipping loose through pain
The last thing he felt was the faint warmth of Rocky's enclosure, his last thought was Rocky
"I'm sorry"
Everything went dark.