Chapter Text
For the first time in his life, Parrot was at a loss what to do.
Parrot, the goody-two-shoes who only cared about following the rules and nothing else.
Sweat clinged on his skin stubbornly, shirt sticky and damp.
His heart felt like it was going a million miles per hour. He wasn’t even doing anything. All he did was stay in his room all day and rot on the cold, tiled floor.
Loneliness.
Emptiness.
Was what he was feeling.
(But he shouldn’t be. He got out of the accident unscathed. He has friends. He still had so people trusting him and not looking at him like he was a stain on the world.)
After Wifies died in a car accident, it was like all the life in his life was sucked out from his world. No matter how much he ignored the gnawing feeling in his gut, everything seemed to scream at him.
He couldn’t save his friends.
He didn’t deserve them
Wifies, Luigi, Dean.
Theo’s next. How will he bring down Theo this time?
They were too kind. Too patient. They should’ve left for their own good. He should’ve left them alone.
He was a failure. Why is he just realising this now? Everything he did, had culminated into something worse. Dragging Wifies to help him in a treasure hunt. Pushing Dean to stand up for himself. Now convincing Theo that he was worth it to keep .
It all ended the same anyway.
With trembling arms, Parrot sat upright from the puddle of tears he’s sitting in. Darkness engulfed his room, save for the moonlight streaming through his window.
His room used to be his only safe haven, but now, it felt unwelcoming, uncomfortable, silent.
Outside, there was a living room that he shared with Theo, which sat a small brown couch made out of rough leather.
He remembered the first few months before everything became completely miserable. The memories that were made in this room. Not like it mattered anyway. He was sure Theo knew something off about him from the start.
He swung another door open, now leading down a corridor full of dorms just like his. Creeping down the hallway, Parrot hoped that his footsteps against the concrete floor did not make any noise.
Finally, he reached the balcony. Bursts of fresh air greeted him.
What would his little brothers think of him? He hasn’t eaten anything all day. He was skinny, weak and looked absolutely pathetic.
Wemmbu. Flame. Spoke. A loud trio that Parrot never quite fit in.
From what he knew, his brothers were successful, even becoming the talk of the campus as their antics together caught the attention of the school leaders and staff. What he also knew, is that they hated him.
For being so arrogant.
Hopeful.
Simple.
Naive.
If they probably saw him right now, they would probably laugh.
Parrot gripped on the railings tighter.
Wouldn’t it be better if he just…died?
The world would be better off him anyway.
No more snarky kid obsessed with the rules or helping others. No more friends he can kill. No more guilt.
.
.
.
.
.
Ever since Parrot came back from the hospital. He’d been different.
Theo couldn’t help but mourn what his friend once was.
Back when the scar of losing his friends wasn’t so deep, Parrot would skip around the kitchen, telling his awful jokes to Theo and cook banger pancakes.
He misses when Parrot would scold him for getting in trouble with the big guys at class, or just making a mess of every room he went into.
Back then, college was new and strange, and everything didn’t totally hurt back then.
Granted he originally didn’t like his roommate the first few months they met. It took a long time for Theo to actually warm up to a goody-two-shoes like Parrot.
But Parrot was more than that.
He was smart.
Attentive.
Caring.
He didn’t know what happened to Parrot to kill his spark, but Theo was determined to reignite it, get his friend back.
So when he heard the door click at 2 in the night, he felt his heart drop.
Nobody else in the building was awake. They were days away from the summer break.
Theo pulled himself out of his bed, trying to loosen the tightening sensation in his chest.
“Parrot?”
He pressed his ear on Parrot’s door, straining to hear even the slightest shift in noise.
There was no answer.
After a few beats, he announced, “I’m coming in!”
The door swung open, to reveal a cold and empty room.
Everything looked untouched, the bed, the books, the desk. Holding no evidence of the person that once lived in there for a year.
It was like Parrot had cleaned up with no intention of coming back.
Fuck.
That was not a good conclusion.
Theo swept the entire room one last time, before running down through the corridor, not caring if he woke anyone up with this loud stomping.
He burst through the door, to see Parrot, standing on the balcony.
Wait.
He wasn’t standing. He was sitting. On the railing. His legs were dangling off the side, body too close to the darkness for comfort.
No. No, no, no, no.
He can’t lose Parrot.
He let out a shaky breath.
“Parrot..?”
Parrot’s body froze, “Theo. What are you doing here?”
“I heard a noise,” His eyes were fixated on Parrot’s thin figure. His t-shirt hung loosely from his shoulders. Has this guy been skipping meals?
Y-you aren’t actually going to do it are you?”
His voice was hoarse, and it didn’t help that it felt like air was getting knocked out from his lungs.
“I..I’m so tired Theo. I keep on failing everyone. I don’t keep my promises, all I do is cause more harm than good.”
Theo doesn’t know what to do.
“You know that isn’t true…”
“ My dead friends would say otherwise. Everyone you ask would say otherwise.”
“I don’t think Wifies would want this Parrot. Neither would Luigi. Or dean.”
Parrot shook his head, eyes dark and peaceful, like he already decided his fate.
“You don’t understand. I think you should leave. Just forget about me Theo.”
“No! Talk to me, Parrot! Am I not your friend too?”
“...”
Theo stretched his hand, tentatively moving closer to his friend.
“Don’t you think it is unfair?” He then said quietly, “Jumper, Derapchu, Leo, Spoke, all your friends. Don’t you think they at least deserve some closure?”
.
.
.
.
Parrot has done many things over a year, and fucking up many lives was one of them.
Right.
His knuckles turned white, and his body seemed to lean slowly away from the edge.
He still had so many things to say. To apologise for. To thank for.
“Parrot?” Theo sounded like he was a step away from breaking down.
“Y-yea. There’s people I still need to talk to.”
“So you’ll come down?” Relief flooded the boy’s voice. Parrot heard him shuffle over, and gingerly touch his shoulder.
Parrot nodded numbly. His head still felt heavy, probably even heavier and muddled than before, but he let Theo guide him away from the balcony.
It was still dark out. The campus was silent, unknowing of the event that unfolded in the matter of several minutes.
Back in their warm dormitory, Theo finally released the death grip he had on Parrot’s shoulders.
Parrot collapsed on their shared couch, his eyes still refused to look Theo in the face.
He heard a tired sigh. Then a dip in the couch beside him.
“So, what now?”