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When they were first years, Wally had taken an inkwell and levitated it so the tip of Artemis’ ponytail dipped into it. He snickered delightedly and Dick high-fived him and Artemis scowled, but she didn’t tell the professor on him. Instead, she waited.
Two days later their pants spontaneously dropped to their ankles when they burst into the classroom five minutes late. If Dick saw Artemis slip her wand back into her pocket and smirk at him, he didn’t say anything.
“I’m not crazy, I know she’s behind this!” Wally would rant. “She is officially The Enemy!”
Dick would hide a smile and nod seriously.
In their second year, Dick played innocent bystander while he secretly aided both sides.
“I bet Wally would go nuts if all of his robes mysteriously shrunk three inches.”
“You know, Artemis would probably just hate it if you jinxed her quill to write in hot pink.”
Artemis cornered Wally alone two months in. “Dick’s playing us against each other, I hope you know.”
“I had a feeling,” Wally said.
“Can we set aside our differences long enough to get revenge?” she asked, holding her hand out to him. He eyed her suspiciously before taking it.
“Deal.”
They couldn’t help but somehow feel like the joke was on them though, since instead of being upset, Dick just grinned at them victoriously when he found himself unable to say anything unless it was a lyric he sang.
Upon entering their third year at Hogwarts, a rumor spread that Wally and Artemis had “big fat crushes on each other and should probably just get a room.” Wally railed against it. Loudly. Artemis ignored anyone who asked her about it, sometimes with an unimpressed look and other times with a vaguely disgusted expression.
For their first weekend trip to Hogsmeade, Dick invited Artemis to go with him, leaving Wally to whine at whoever would listen. Dick promised him the next one would just be the two of them.
The two spent a good portion of the day in a dark corner of the Three Broomsticks, nursing their butterbeers and talking. They soon made their way around the rest of the stores, where Dick couldn’t resist the urge to buy Artemis one of nearly everything in the candy store. Eventually they ran into Wally, who was trying to drag Kaldur into the Shrieking Shack with him.
Eyes lit up, Dick said, “If you’re going, I’m going.”
They had almost made it to the door, Kaldur and Artemis sighing in the background, when a professor strolled by and shouted, “West, Grayson, get back here at once!”
“Judas,” Wally hissed in their fourth year, upon discovering Dick had allowed Artemis into their Secret Hideout ™.
“Dude, relax. She just wants to play Wizard’s chess.”
Wally frowned and collapsed onto the sofa next to them. “I guess she can stay.”
The pranks didn’t end by any means, but things were more peaceful between the three after that.
When they entered into their fifth year, they knew it was time to buckle down. The OWLs were fast approaching. Wally was determined to nail the Potions section and so had a tendency to alter the Room of Requirement to provide everything he needed for that purpose. Artemis and Dick booed the first time they saw it like that, but got on board once everyone agreed they would still play games and hang out at least once a week. No one wanted to lose the outlet entirely.
A shift began then, though none of the three seemed to acknowledge it. When they passed a book to one of the others, hands would linger a little too long. They stood perhaps a bit too close to each other, and several nights ended with them cuddled up on a sofa together, sleeping soundly.
Wally caught himself a few times staring at the curve of Artemis’ breast when she raised her hand in class or the angle of Dick’s hip when his shirt rode up high. He’d shake himself and stare intently back at his textbook.
It wasn’t that it hadn’t happened before, but somehow it seemed to mean more now. He had to find an answer to the problem; luckily, he had the perfect solution.
Hartley Rathaway was a year ahead of Wally but always had a smile for him. He also had a thing for a seventh year guy who was deeply in the closet and probably wasn’t going to date Hartley anytime soon. Obviously they both needed a distraction, and this was exactly what Wally pitched to him.
“Good, I was getting concerned you were going to die a virgin,” Artemis said with a grin and a friendly punch to the shoulder when Wally told them.
Dick’s lips thinned and he gave a small nod. “Yeah, that’s great.”
Their sixth year arrived, and they had fewer classes together. Even though it became that much more difficult to spend time together, they still managed to eke out a few moments every day. Usually it was just studying or a game of chess; on occasion it was passing out on top of each other with their books lying about haphazardly.
Wally and Hartley had ended it over the summer, but Dick still seemed to only have tight-lipped smiles for Wally. He couldn’t remember the last time Dick had elbowed him in the side after a bad joke or called him a nickname, and he had the sinking feeling his perfect solution had caused a problem he had not foreseen.
“Yeah, idiot, he likes you,” Artemis told him when he asked her opinion.
“What? No way, he likes you.”
She shrugged helplessly. “Well, yes.”
“And,” Wally continued, “you like him, so what I can’t figure out is why you two haven’t been dating for the past two years or something.”
“You make it sound so easy when it really isn’t.”
“Uh huh, when two people like each other it’s so complicated.” He drew out the ‘o’ sound in ‘so’ to make his opinion absolutely clear to her. She smacked him on the head.
“First off, yes, when two people like each other it can be very complicated. Don’t be a dumbass.” He frowned in a way that was definitely not pouting and rubbed his head where she hit him. “Second, he likes me and he likes you. I like him and I like you. And I’m about ninety percent sure that you like me and you like him. No matter how it works out, it turns someone into an awkward and probably resentful third wheel, and the other two are left wondering if they picked right. It would completely ruin our friendship, so I’ve decided not to touch it with a ten foot pole.”
Wally waggled his eyebrows at her. “You like me, huh?”
“Not going there; I just said that. Work on your listening skills,” Artemis said, shaking her head at him. “You go apologize to Dick now for being an idiot and tell him to either ask you out or drop the attitude.”
“Wouldn’t that make you the odd man out?” he asked.
“I’m a big girl, West. I can deal.” Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Then came their final year at Hogwarts.
Artemis’ prediction had perhaps been a bit too dire, though it was not far off the mark. Things were strained since Wally and Dick had started dating. Artemis didn’t spend nearly as much time with them as she used to. In her words she would “rather be a third wheel to Megan and Conner than to two people I wish I was dating.” Every once in awhile they would hang out like they used to and play cards in the Room of Requirement, but not often.
On one such a night, Dick was running late, so Wally and Artemis were alone.
“We really miss you, you know,” he said.
Artemis sighed. “Yeah, I miss you too. It’s just too weird to hang out with you, though. Too difficult.”
“Well, what if it didn’t have to be?” Wally glanced at her, then back down and worried his lower lip slightly. He seemed to hum with nervous energy.
“I don’t follow,” she said.
“What I mean is… I don’t know, just…” He made a frustrated sound, then strode over to her and leaned in as if to kiss her. Artemis immediately put her hands on his chest and shoved so he was forced back several steps in order to maintain his balance.
“What the hell, Wally? What was that supposed to be? How could you—”
The door opened and they both turned to stare at Dick. “Did I miss something?” he asked, stepping into the room slowly and closing the door behind him.
“Fuck,” was all Artemis could think to say. Wally started laughing, quietly at first but soon enough he was in absolute stitches, nearly doubled over and clutching at his side.
Dick turned to Artemis. “Has Wally lost it?”
“Apparently. What are you laughing about, you asshole? You can’t just do something like that and then start laughing when your boyfriend walks in!” She threw her hands up in the air, frustration rolling off her in waves. Dick looked utterly lost.
Finally Wally calmed down enough to draw in a few gasping breaths, and managed to speak. “I fucked up, Dick.” Another giggle. Dick’s face kept shifting between confused and concerned. “I was going to talk to Artemis about what we talked about and I got nervous and decided actions were better than words and…”
“You didn’t,” Dick said.
“I did. Or I tried, anyway. I guess technically she pushed me away before I actually kissed her.” Dick buried his face in his hands and started snickering. Artemis scowled.
“Will someone please start acting like a sane person and use words to explain what is happening right now?”
“Yeah, straight to the point. I can do that.” Dick nodded to himself, dragging a hand over his face in a physical attempt to stop smiling. “The two of us work better with you. Not that we’re bad just the two of us, but we’re not as good. So we talked about it, and we wanted to ask you, with words,” he glanced pointedly at Wally who had to bite his lip to not start laughing again, “if you would be interested in being with us. In our relationship, I mean. Like, all three of us. Together. Uh.”
“I got it, Casanova. You really know how to woo a girl.” Artemis crossed her arms and stared at the floor intently. “But you’re serious? You think that could work?”
Wally shrugged. “No idea, but we think it’s worth trying. Do you?”
She looked back up at them, lips quirked. “I think I could give it a go.”