Chapter Text
He hates Indiana. He hates going on the road. He hates sewers. Richie Tozier was a simple person. Until it came to Eddie Kaspbrak. As much as he tried, he couldn't get his eyes off of him. If he ever lost his glasses, which he has, he would miss the sight of Eddie. But he knew one thing simply, is that he was a fag. Okay. He shouldn't think that. He was gay. Probably the only gay in his friend group, minus the fact that Bill and Stan were circling around each other. But that was different. Richie didn't want to lose his best friend. Eddie seemed to look disgusted whenever Bill blushed at Stan's intense eye contact. So Richie knew he probably shouldn't out himself, even if there was the fact coming out might've been easier than defeating killer clown. So Richie hated and loved sitting next to Eddie on the way to Hawkins, Indiana, where his shithead cousin was. When they were leaving, the Losers Club split. Eddie, Richie, Bill, and Stan were all flying. The others were driving. Eddie huffed and puffed, saying that airplanes were unsanitary. Richie spat in his face, "Do you just want to be crammed in a car with me, Eddie my love? You shouldn't have!" Eddie's face flushed and he looked away, muttering how he was fine to go on the flight. They all heard a beep from the plane as the captain announced they were landing. Eddie held his inhaler. They all knew it was fake, but Eddie couldn't let go of it.
As they exited the airport, Karen picked them up. She coddled Richie as he explained all his friends. Bill and Stan were talking in the back while Eddie was trying to clean the dirty car. As they approached the house, Richie looked out the window and saw Mike. And a boy with a bowl cut. Eddie stepped out of the car first and dusted his shoes, carefully taking his suitcases out while everyone followed. Richie then ran to the door and knocked Mike onto the ground. "Mikey Wikey!" He yelled as Mike tried to shove him off.
"Piss off! God- Ow!" Mike yelled as Richie tackled him on the ground. Bowl-Cut boy, Will as Richie learned, almost laughed. Eddie sighed and just grabbed Richie's suitcase handle with tissue to prevent germs. Karen pushed them both aside as they both had a scolding. "Why do I get scolded! He attacked me!" Mike complained as Richie put on an innocent façade. As they all went inside, they talked about their adventures. Richie noticed something strange, though. Will looked at Mike the same way he looked to Eddie. When Will looked back at Richie, they both silently communicated that they both knew. Mike raised an eyebrow at seeing Richie's more serious face, which suddenly went away as he made another "your mom" joke.
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"Come on, Eds! It was funny! Didn't you see how bowl-cut was laughing?" Richie boasted as he sat on the basement floor after they both mopped and cleaned. Richie didn't want to, but Eddie seemed a bit more desperate, and Richie knew that Eddie would probably sleep in Mike's room rather than a dusty floor. Richie really wanted Eddie to sleep near him.
Eddie rolled his eyes and sat on top of a towel, "He's only laughing to be nice. And don't call me Eds."
"Come on, Eddie Spaghetti! What else should I call you? Eddie my love? Wheezer? Girly-boy? Cute? I got so many nicknames for you!" Richie cackled, sneaking in "cute" and wishing he could call Eddie something heartfelt. But he knew that he needed to bury his homosexuality deep down inside.
"Trashmouth." Eddie puffed, but a twitch of a smile rested on his face. Richie smiled and sat closer to him, not enough to touch, but a noticeable amount.
"Eddsssssss," Richie whined and then leaned in close to his face. Eddie instantly recoiled away.
"Gross! Personal space, Rich!" Eddie yelped and almost fell off his towel. Richie laughed until he saw Bill and Stan staring at both of them in the corner. Stan smiled a bit, knowing that Richie definitely was trying to flirt. Richie felt his heart drop, but Bill didn't notice. Eddie looked back and saw the two other boys. He took a puff of his inhaler and then pushed Richie back. They all talked for a little while. Stanley discussed on how Beverly was driving them all, while Richie laughed at that fact. They discussed life, and how Pennywise affected them. Eddie talked about his mom, which made Richie pause his jokes for a few seconds. They occasionally went in and out of the basement, grabbing their stuff and unpacking. Bill was gone for a short while, until he returned at six.
"M-m-m-mike g-g-g-got the a-air ma-ma-mattress..." Bill stumbled, his cheeks flushing as the words didn't come out the way he wanted to, ending the sentence early. He looked at Stan, expecting him to finish what he was going to say. But Stanley only bumped his shoulder. "A-a-and d-d-d-dinner's rea-ready..."
"Gotcha, Big Bill!" Richie said and gave him a thumbs up before walking upstairs. Eddie huffed and followed as the group ate spaghetti and meatballs with the Wheelers. Will was talking with Mike before taking a call from his mom. Richie didn't make any crude jokes as he was stuffing his mouth with food. Eddie judged his eating habits before realizing that half of the Wheeler family wasn't eating that much either. It felt awkward until Will came back and sat next to Richie. Mike's eyes widened and he bit his lip before saying anything. They ate in comfortable silence, Ted Wheeler flipping the newspaper. Holly was drawing and trying to show Mike with no avail. Unfortunately, this gave Richie time to plan. After what felt like years, Richie looked up and then nudged Will. "Hey, green eyes, can we talk?"
Will blushed and nodded. They both excused themselves to talk in the living room, promising they'll clean their plates. Eddie and Mike both narrowed their eyes, will Stan and Bill were talking about the birds they saw on the road to the Wheeler's. As Richie and Will sat on the stairs. They sat there in silence, as if expecting one or the other to speak. It reminded Will how alike Richie and Mike were, where they both seemed to have so much to say yet never said anything at all. This gave Will the impression to speak first, "What did you want to discuss with me, Richie?"
"Basically, I wanted to ask if we could uhm... fake date. You're like me, right? Uhm- gay? I never really told my group but they probably suspected for a while now." Richie rambled, looking up and down. He suddenly found the painting across of them very interesting..
"Why would I date you?" Will asked bluntly, eyeing Richie up and down.
"To get over our crushes, silly! Me and my Eds, you and your... Mike and Ike." Richie cackled as Will laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Best case scenario, we get with our crushes. Worst case, we at least dated somebody in our miserable lifetimes."
Will shrugged and nodded. "How do we plan it out?" And so they devised a plan. Day one, which was today, they would act a bit subtle towards each other. The brush of a cheek, listening to one another carefully, acting softer, pretending the other person was someone they liked. Day two, they would start being a bit less subtle. Hand holding and stuff. Then they would decide day three. "We should only plan two days, in case something goes wrong or we accidentally confess." Will muttered. Richie smiled.
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They walked back to the dinner table, Will's hair slightly ruffled, Richie's glasses off center. Eddie noticed. He noticed things. He noticed the way Richie's nose would crinkle when disgusted. He noticed the way he would smile without thinking that maybe it was the wrong moment. He noticed that they both had freckles. Eddie wasn't an idiot, but he knew that he was an idiot for feeling jealous. Why did Richie talk with Will and not invite him? Why did Richie not even recite or summarize the conversation for him? Maybe it was private, but Eddie knew that if it was really private than he wouldn't have done it if he was there! But Richie just gave him the dorky smile. That dorky smile that made Eddie want to stop being mad, and forget that there were tiny germs on someone's mouth and teeth and tongue and... gosh. Eddie really just wanted to curl into a ball.
"Whatcha starin at Eddie Spaghetti?" Richie said as he pushed some spaghetti closer to Eddie's face. Eddie felt his lips twist into a smile, as much as he didn't want to even make a face. Eddie noticed Richie's eyes perking up at his smile. Eddie noticed the way Will noticed. Worst of all, he noticed how everyone noticed. He hated how he noticed things. He hated the way people cared so much for him like he was a baby. But Richie didn't make him feel like that. Richie never made him feel like that. Richie was perfect, how he was always able to let a joke out even at the worst moment. How he managed to flow into any conversation or situation. Best of all, how he managed to think Eddie was cool. And not a freak. But Richie wasn't perfect. He made him feel like a fag. A queer. And even if he knew it was bad, even when his mom said it was bad, it felt so good.
"Nothing, Rich." Eddie said and then ate more of his food.
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Queer. Fag. That's what Will was. That's what Lonnie said he was, anyway. He knew Jonathan would say otherwise. He knew his mom, El, Hopper, everyone else would say otherwise. But none of them were like him. Mike wouldn't even ever understand what it was like to be called that and have it be true in the end. That's what Will thought until he met Richie. Richie was like him. In love with his childhood best friend, scared of being alone, knowing all those words those kids said were right. Richie seemed like the opposite of Mike. Mike would act quiet, act all soft and all knowing until he would lose his temper.
"It's not my fault you don't like girls!" Mike yelled in the rain.
"We're friends. Friends!" Mike said in the rink.
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Richie seemed all crude and weird, actually kind of gross. But when Richie was opening up about his emotions, about Eddie, gosh. He seemed so at ease, like the world revolved around one person. Will thought that if he never met Mike, he would've been a sucker for Richie. Which was why it was so easy to agree to the fake dating scheme. Richie was easy enough to get along with, and Will wanted to experiment. Besides, they both knew they would never really truly love each other, but sympathizing with each other was enough. Will liked that. He talked about Vecna, and the things Mike would say that confused him.
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"No, not friends. Best friends."
"Hey, well, if we're both going crazy, then we'll go crazy together, right?"
“I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And... you said yes, you said yes. It was the best thing I've ever done.”
“The truth is the last year, has been weird, you know? And I mean, you know, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they're... they're great. They're great. It's just... it's Hawkins. It's not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El... and I don't know, maybe I feel I lost you or something. Does that make sense? I have no idea what's gonna happen next. But, whatever it is, I- I think we should work together. I think it'll be easier if we're- we're a team. Friends. Best friends.”
“These past few months, [I've] been so... lost without you. It's just, [I'm] so different from other people, and... when you're- when you're different, sometimes... you feel like a mistake. But you make [me] feel like [I'm] not a mistake at all. Like [I'm] better for being different. And that gives [me] the courage to fight on. If [I] was mean to you or [I] seemed like [I] was pushing you away, it's probably just because [I was] scared of losing you, just like you're scared of losing her. And if [I] was going to lose you, I... I think [I'd] rather just get it over with quick. Like ripping off a band-aid. So yeah, [I] need you, Mike. And [I] always will.”
What did those things even mean to Mike? Will always wondered. He wished he knew. Richie just smiled at him, smiled like Mike and yet not like him at all. Richie was right, worst case scenario, they just get dating practice.