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The football field looked different without the stadium lights blazing overhead or the roar of the crowd rattling through Ivan's skull. In the dark it barely felt like the same place he had spent the last four years of his life on. The metal bleachers sat empty beneath the summer night, the painted yard lines faded beneath the moonlight. Without thousands of voices swallowing every other sound, Ivan could actually hear the crickets hidden in the grass and the distant hum of traffic beyond the school gates.
He had played his last game months ago. The season trophies had already been polished and displayed at the entrance of the school, his name engraved neatly where everyone expected it to be. Tomorrow, he would graduate as captain of the football team, student council president, and valedictorian.
Exactly as planned.
And yet, standing there now, Ivan felt strangely hollow.
Perhaps that's why he had to come back one last time.
Beside him, Till fidgeted restlessly on the turf, plucking at loose threads one of his arm warmers.
Truthfully, Ivan still wasn't entirely sure why he had decided to tag along.
Till hated football, or at least he claimed he did.
He complained through every game Ivan dragged him to, dramatically making a scene afterwards if the crowd was especially rowdy that night or the matches ran too long.
And yet, every Friday night for the past four years, Till had still shown up.
Always beside Mizi and Sua in the front row.
Always waiting for Ivan afterwards.
“Oh, Mom wanted me to invite you to go out to dinner after the ceremony tomorrow.” Till spoke after giving Ivan a few minutes of silence. “I told her you might be busy with your own family, so don’t feel obligated.”
As if Ivan would ever say no to Till or Io.
“I’d love to join you,”
Till’s smile was as breathtaking as always; he could have lit up the entire stadium by himself.
“Awesome! I’ll text her to let her know.” He pulled out his phone and began to type as he continued talking. “You know, there’s still a few months before you go away for college, I was thinking about planning a trip-”
He went on, rambling excitedly about road trips and last minute plans and all the things they could still do.
Ivan tried to focus.
He really did.
The future sounded so easy when Till said it.
Like it was something wide open. Something waiting to be shaped.
Ivan's had already been decided for him months ago.
His father had chosen his university and his major. He'd already purchased the apartment Ivan would be living in. He'd even scheduled the internship for him that was to start the same day he had his first class.
But really, what right did Ivan have to complain?
Unsha had given him everything afterall.
He benevolently plucked a hopeless orphan up off the streets.
He gave Ivan a name.
A home.
A future.
Opportunities most people would kill for.
The least Ivan could do was not disappoint him.
“Hey,”
Ivan blinked.
Till was watching him carefully now, one brow raised.
“You disappeared on me for a second.”
“I just…” Ivan didn't have the words, how could he possibly explain to his best friend the selfish dread that ate away at him?
“I'm worried…about things changing. What if we grow apart?”
It was an understatement, but one Till may be able to understand.
Instead of responding right away, Till grew silent. Ivan was about to apologize for dampening the mood, when Till started going through his pocket.
He pulled out a pair of wireless headphones, placing one in Ivan's ear. He scrolled through his phone until he found what he was looking for and a soft melody sang through the headphone.
They sat there for the next few minutes. Ivan closed his eyes and tried to stop thinking, allowing the music to consume him. It was much softer than the music Till typically gravitated towards, but Ivan was grateful for that. He couldn't possibly regulate himself with someone screaming in his ear.
Once the melody finally faded out, Till didn't choose another song. He simply let the quiet wash over them.
“You know I'm still gonna bother you constantly, right? College isn't enough to save you from me. I do have your number.”
Till nudged Ivan's shoulder playfully, then leaned his head against him.
“Life happens, things change, but I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me.”
Ivan looked down at Till and was met with a dazzling smile aimed right at him.
At that moment, Ivan would believe anything Till told him.
In the distance, an alarm began to blare. It got louder and louder. Only when it was impossible to ignore did Ivan realize that this was all just a dream.
Ivan frowned faintly, stubbornly clinging to the last remnants of sleep for as long as he could.
The warm summer air.
Soft music.
Till's smile.
Then, inevitable, it all slipped through his fingers.
Reality returned in slow, miserable fragments.
The weight of his body against the mattress.
The stiffness in his neck.
The dull ache settled deep in his bones.
Ivan finally peeled his eyes open and stared blankly at the dark ceiling above him.
5:03am glowed red from the alarm clock on his nightstand.
He didn't move to turn it off immediately, he allowed its relentless beeping to scream at him for an extra few seconds, as if delaying the inevitable would somehow make getting up any easier.
It didn't.
With a quiet exhale, Ivan reached over and silenced it.
Ivan looked to his left, as he expected the space beside him was empty. The cold sheets told him that she'd been up for a while.
Ivan closed his eyes and tried to picture the dream again. He wanted the warmth back.
But it didn't come. It had been replaced by the familiar heaviness pressing against his ribs.
The memory had been cruel in its clarity.
Till, young and so naive, and his broken promise still haunted Ivan.
Ivan dragged a hand over his face. There was no use lingering on that now.
Nothing waited for him in bed except another minute wasted.
Slowly, with all the enthusiasm of a condemned man approaching the gallows, Ivan forced himself upright.
The hardwood floor was freezing beneath his bare feet.
Shower. Suit. Coffee. Smile.
The mantra played on repeat in Ivan's head as he got ready for the day.
The walk to the kitchen was far too long and impractical for a family of four.
But practicality had never been the point of this house. What mattered was the image it painted.
Gyeong was already in the kitchen, preparing the children's lunches, wearing nothing but a sports bra and yoga pants. She must have just gotten back from her morning run.
“Your dinner is still in the microwave.” She said in lieu of a good morning.
Ivan didn't answer right away, making a beeline for the coffee machine. Only after the first sip had burned warmth down his throat did he speak.
“I had takeout at the office. I told you not to save me a plate.”
“You say that every time.” She sighed, irritated, sliding the lunch containers into the children's bags. “At some point, the press is going to start wondering why you look like you haven't eaten or slept in weeks.”
Nod. Thank. Apologize. Smile.
“Thank you for saving me dinner, my love. I'm sorry I was out so late.”
The look she gave him told Ivan she didn't believe a word out of his mouth. He mentally added ordering flowers to his to do list for the day.
“Just don't forget about Friday night, Ivan.”
Ivan had, in fact, forgotten about Friday night. He had no idea what Gyeong was talking about.
“Of course, I'll be there,” he replied without hesitation. Whatever he was forgetting, he could always check the family calendar in his phone later.
He gulped down the rest of his coffee and placed the mug in the sink.
“I have to get going. Tell the children I said good morning.”
“You can't even stay long enough to help me wake them up? They haven't seen you in three days.”
“I have an early meeting. I'll try to be home tonight.”
He wouldn't.
Work had been winning that particular battle for years.
He was already mentally reorganizing the rest of his day before he'd even reached the front door.
“Papa?”
Yu-na stood at the top of the staircase. She rubbed at her eyes, dark hair a mess and still dressed in her silver nightgown.
Ivan smiled up at his twelve-year-old.
“Good morning, my angel, I hope you have a good day at school.”
Her dark eyes, so much like his own, followed him as he slipped on his shoes.
“Bye Papa.”
She sounded more disappointed than tired.
Ivan hesitated, one hand still resting against the doorframe.
He could stay another five minutes. Meet her at the top of the stairs and ask what was wrong.
One glance at his watch killed that thought immediately.
But five minutes could easily become ten minutes, and ten minutes could become traffic, and traffic meant being late.
And being late was unacceptable.
“Bye, angel,”
Then he walked out the door.
The driver was already waiting for him outside. By the time Ivan settled into the backseat, his phone was already in his hand.
Overnight market updates. Three flagged emails from his assistant. Two missed calls and an unpleasant text from his father, and a meeting reminder he absolutely did not need.
He was halfway through checking the pre-market numbers when a notification slid acrosd the top of his screen.
An article.
TILL SELLS OUT 9TH TOUR STOP IN BERLIN
Ivan clicked on it without thinking, attatched was a short clip from last nights concert.
Till looked as if were still in his mid twenties rather than thirty-five, but he always had that adorable baby face.
He stood beneath blinding stage lights, guitar slung low across his frame, hair damp with sweat and sticking to his forehead.
He was grinning so hard it looked painful.
He looked exactly like someone living the life he had always wanted.
Almost without thinking, Ivan clicked into their message history.
Me: Happy Birthday. Hope you're eating something other than airport food.
Till: 💚
That was over five months ago. Before that, nearly four months, a short back and forth of Till wishing Ivan the happy birthday, and Ivan forgetting to respond for over a week, because the company had a whole Valentines day scandal to cover up that took all of Ivan's time and energy.
The truth was, at some point, Till had become another person Ivan cared for from a distance.
Somewhere between the board meetings, marriage, and children his best friend had quietly become a stranger with his contact pinned at the top of Ivan's messages.
Ivan switched to his video app, after a quick search of “Till Berlin Highlights” he found what he was looking for.
Halfway through the video, Till lifted his guitar above his head as the crowd screamed.
Ivan stared at the instrument for a moment too long.
The sight of that guitar tugged loose a memory Ivan hadn't thought about in years.
They were in Till's tiny living room. It was his fourteenth birthday, they had plans to celebrate at their community pool with Mizi and Sua this weekend, but tonight, Ivan came over for dinner and cake.
“Oh! I just can't wait! You're getting your present today!” Io exclaimed, rushing to her room to grab whatever it was she got him.
Till nudged Ivan as they sat together on the couch, cake half eaten on their plates.
“Bet it's a new sketch pad, mom has this fifth sense for knowing when I run out of room with the one I'm using.”
Ivan smiled, he always loved visiting Till and Io's apartment. It was so much warmer than his own home. Somehow, the mother and son could make any place feel welcoming.
Io returned with a white guitar with a green ribbon wrapped around the neck.
“Ta da! Happy Birthday my little love!”
Till was frozen, staring slack jawed at his mother.
“No way,” he said after a moment, “you didn’t!”
“I did!”
Till jumped up and hugged his mom. Io struggled to carefully put the guitar down before returning the embrace, kissing him repeatedly on the top of the head.
“Thank you thank you thank you!”
Till pulled away, taking the guitar and instantly starting to tune it. Ivan leaned his chin on Till's shoulder as he watched him work.
“Looks like your rise to world domination begins.” Ivan remarked, taking out his phone and beginning to look up sheet music of simple songs for Till to practice.
“Please. Give me three years and I'll be at the top of the charts.”
“Master Ivan?”
The memory shattered instantly.
Ivan blinked, startled back to reality by his driver standing beside the now open car door.
“Are you feeling alright, sir?”
“Apologies, I still seem to be waking up.”
Ivan slipped his phone into his pocket and stepped out onto the pavement.
Smile. Wave. Greet. Move on.
Ivan offered practiced good mornings to everyone he passed, sprinkling in a how are you? to those higher up in the corporate hierarchy.
By the time he made it to his office, a fresh cup of coffee along with a breakfast sandwich waited for him at his desk, courtesy of his assistant.
The sandwich remained untouched for the next several hours.
Work was mind numbingly dull.
Meeting blurred into more meeting.
Handshakes.
Presentations.
Quarterly reports.
Negotiations with a rival company regarding a buyout scheduled for after the new year.
Numbers.
Projections.
Endless conversations Ivan could have recited from memory.
At one point, his assistant quietly informed him that his father added another dinner to his calendar for later in the week.
Ivan didn’t question it.
There was little point.
At some point during the afternoon, his phone buzzed with a message from the family group chat.
Yu-na had sent a photo.
Ivan swiped the notification away without opening it. He’d look at it later when he wasn’t busy.
By the time Ivan returned to his desk, twelve hours had passed. He was tired and starving. Gyeong's comment from this morning about his weight came back to him. He pushed the call button on his desk phone.
“Marty.”
“Yes sir?” His assistant answered immediately.
“Call the florist and send roses to my house for Gyeong. Also, order me some dinner. Once you finish that, you are free to go home.”
“Yes sir.”
Gyeong is sure to give him hell for another late night, but she'll be okay. Ivan is doing what he needs to in order to support his family.
Ivan didn't get home until after 1am. He didn't have the energy to do more than change into sleepwear and pass out next to his wife.
Wake up. Shower. Suit. Coffee. Smile.
Try to please everyone.
Fail.
Apologize.
Repeat.
Work.
Sleep.
Repeat.
Wake up.
Shower.
Suit.
Coffee.
Smile.
Try to please everyone.
Fail.
Apologize.
Repeat.
It was only on Friday that the cycle changed.
“Don't forget to be at the school by 5:00.” Gyeong said as Ivan was walking out for work that morning.
“Excuse me?”
Gyeong looked unimpressed.
“Your son's play starts at 5:30, but I want to get there early in case he needs some encouragement.”
Ivan had no idea what she was talking about, he wasn't even aware Tae was in theater.”
“Right, I’ll make sure to be there.” Ivan said, but Gyeong looked doubtful.
“I’m serious Ivan, you better be there. Your son has been looking forward to this for a long time.”
“I understand, I promise to clear my schedule for this evening.”
And Ivan actually kept his promise for once. As soon as he got to the office he told Marty to reschedule everything after 4:00. He could take one evening off for his family.
Ivan managed to make it to the school 15 minutes before 5:00. Of course Gyeong was already there, sitting in the front row talking to other parents. He spotted Yu-na a few rows behind her mother, she was with a couple friends.
Ivan smiled as he took his place next to his wife, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek.
“Told you I’d make it.”
“Congratulations, you’ve done the bare minimum,” she whispered back, before turning back to the mothers she was talking to.
Ivan tried not to let the comment get to him, he showed up afterall.
The play started soon after, Ivan recognized the play as an adaptation of a famous fairytale. His son didn't make an appearance though.
“Where's Tae?” He whispered to Gyeong.
“He's playing a minor role, he'll be on soon.”
If Ivan had ever received a role that insignificant, his father would have forced him to quit on the spot. Ivan wondered briefly if he should do the same, before brushing that thought aside.
Near the end of the first act, Tae finally made his appearance.
He was in a, quite frankly, adorable jester costume. All rich velvet panels and tiny gold bells stitched into the sleeves and collar. A floppy red and blue cap sat crooked on his head, slipping slightly over one eye every time he moved across the stage.
He looked so full of life, not like the normally shy boy that Ivan knew. It brought the first genuine smile to his face.
Of course, it was that moment his phone decided to buzz in his pocket.
Ivan had every intention of ignoring it, he really did.
But he couldn't resist the urge to at least peek at who was calling him.
Father.
Ivan felt his stomach sink, he closed his eyes briefly.
“Ivan.” Gyeong muttered dangerously at his side.
“I'll only be just a moment.” He reassured, kissing her cheek before standing and stepping off.
“Is this an emergency, Father? I have another obligation at the moment.” he asked the moment he was out in the hallway.
“An obligation more important than the dinner I had on your schedule?”
Ivan's stomach dropped, how could he have forgotten his father's dinner? Did Marty not think it important enough to remind him when he told him to clear his schedule?
“My apologies, Father, you see, Tae is in a play and-”
“Will this play contribute to the boy's future in any meaningful way?”
“What? No, it's just a school play.”
“Then I fail to see the relevance.”
Applause erupted faintly from inside the auditorium.
Ivan could spend the next hour arguing with his father, but then he'd miss the rest of the play. Despite the consequences it was sure to bring tomorrow morning, he had to end the call.
“I apologize for tonight, Father. I promise I'll make it up to you.”
“Ivan-”
“I'll call you in the morning when I get to the office. Have a good evening.”
Ivan quickly hung up the phone and rushed back into the auditorium….
Only for Tae to already be gone.
No matter, he'd be back, and he'd have Ivan's full attention.
Gyeong was glaring daggers at him as he found his seat.
“I'm sorry, I had to take that.”
“No you didn't,” she hissed back.
She was right, he didn't have to take that call. He'd be yelled at for his shortcomings either way.
“I'm here now, that's what matters.”
“That was his only scene.”
The drive home was suffocatingly quiet.
Rain tapped softly against the car windows as the city lights fluttered past outside.
Tae sat pressed against the far door, still dressed in parts of his costume. Tiny gold bells sewn into the cuffs jingled faintly every time the car hit a bump.
Yu-na stared furiously out the other window beside him.
Gyong hadn't spoken a single word to Ivan since they left the school.
Ivan sat rigidly across from them, hands clasped tightly in his lap.
The silence was worse than yelling
His phone vibrated suddenly against his thigh.
Ivan barely had time to glance down at it before Gyeong ripped it from his hand.
“Gyeong-”
“If you even try to take it back, I'm throwing it out the window.”
“You should do it anyway, maybe then he'll finally look at us,” Yu-na sneered.
“Look, I'm sorry about tonight.” Ivan said quietly.
That only seemed to make matters worse though. Yu-na's eyes finally snapped to him.
“No you're not, I bet you're glad you missed the play!”
“That's not true-”
“Bullshit!”
“Language, young lady.”
“Oh, don't start acting like a parent now that I'm finally speaking my mind!”
Ivan went silent.
Normally, Gyeong would have stepped in by now.
The fact that she hadn't scared Ivan more than Yu-na's yelling did.
Ivan's attention shifted towards the quietest person in the car.
Right.
Tonight wasn’t about Gyeong or Yu-na. Sure, they had reason to be angry, but they weren’t the ones who were truly hurt by Ivan’s actions in this instance.
“Tae,”
The boy turned his dark sad eyes onto Ivan. His fingers twisted quietly in the bells sewn onto his sleeve.
“I’m honestly, truly sorry about tonight.”
The boy was quiet for a long moment, before dropping his gaze to his lap.
“It’s okay, Papa…” he mumbled in the most heartbreakingly small voice Ivan had ever heard.
Ivan had to fix this.
He had to.
He just didn't know how.
“You don't have to pretend it's okay, Tae, he needs to know that it's not right!”
“It's okay, Yu-yu,” Tae tried.
“It's not! I know you're just as fed up as I am!”
“Yu-na-” Ivan tried, only for her to turn on him.
“No! I'm not staying quiet anymore!”
Before anyone could respond, Tae threw the door open and ran. Ivan hadn't even noticed the car was stopped in front of their house.
Yu-na looked after her brother, worry briefly overtaking her anger.
Then she turned her gaze to Ivan.
“You ruin everything.”
With that, she followed her brother out into the rain.
Ivan watched them enter the house, before taking a deep breath.
“Thanks for the help,” he told his wife bitterly.
“I'll help you when you deserve it.”
It was the only thing she said before slamming Ivan’s phone down onto the seat between them.
She left the car without another word, leaving Ivan alone with just the driver who looked positively awkward.
Ivan leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes.
He had no idea how everything had gone so wrong.
Before he even realized what he was doing, he was following after Gyeong. He didn’t know what he was going to do, he just knew he had to fix this.
He found his wife in the kitchen, pouring a glass of wine.
“Gyeong-”
She spun on him before he could get another word out.
“No. No, you don’t get to do this anymore, Ivan.”
“I’m just trying to explain-”
“I am tired of your explanations!” Her voice rang sharp, bouncing off the kitchen walls. “Don’t you realize how heartbreaking tonight was? Watching my sweet boy look out into the audience, looking for us, and seeing his dad walk out during his only scene!”
Ivan flinched.
“I didn’t know-”
“You knew he was in the middle of his performance!”
“You think I enjoy living like this?” Ivan asked finally, exhaustion bleeding through his words.
“Then quit!”
“You know I can’t. My father-”
“I don’t give a damn about your father!”
How could Ivan possibly explain this to a woman who grew up with everything? Ivan had no one in the world before Unsha. He had no hopes, no dreams, no purpose.
Gyeong would never know what it’s like to have someone reach out their hand, despite having nothing to offer, and being given the chance to prove herself.
Instead of attempting to explain that however, what came out was,
“I have responsibilities.”
Gyeong laughed bitterly.
“To everyone except us.”
Ivan grit his teeth, Gyeong’s words hit somewhere deep and ugly inside Ivan. It made him resent her.
“I sacrifice everything for this family.”
“And what exactly have we gotten from it?”
Ivan spread his arms out wide.
“Look around, Gyeong! You’re married to the vice president of a billion dollar company! You never have to work a day in your life! You have a mansion with maids, and drivers, and security! What more could you possibly ask for?”
“I don’t care about any of that! I didn’t care about it when I was growing up and I sure as hell didn’t care about it when my dad sold me to you!”
It was as if Gyeong had slapped Ivan in the face, sure, their marriage was arranged by their fathers, but Ivan had just as much say about it as Gyeong did.
He didn’t hear anything Gyeong said after that. Her voice sounded far away.
“Ivan!” Till, ten years old, ran up to him. “What’cha reading?”
Ivan looked up from his book, Till was smiling down at him so honestly.
“It’s a book about insects.”
Unlike all the other kids in their class, Till never judged Ivan for his interests.
He just laughed and sat down next to Ivan under their tree.
“You’re so weird,” he teased, pulling out his recorder and starting to play a soft tune.
The music calmed Ivan’s nerves, everything about Till made him feel like there wasn’t a care in the world.
Ivan leaned against Till’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
Nothing existed outside of their bubble. Here it was just Till’s music and the warm summer air.
Here, by Till’s side, Ivan was at peace.
“Ivan! Are you even listening to me?!”
The kitchen came back into focus.
Ivan stared at Gyeong for a long moment before saying.
“I want a divorce.”
She looked taken aback.
“What?”
Ivan knew he should take the words back, but he couldn’t keep living this life anymore.
He wasn’t strong enough.
“So, that’s it. You know our prenup is supposed to last until Yu-na turns eighteen, right? If we separate now, a majority of your assets go to me.”
Of course she wasn't trying to stop him.
Not if she truly believed he'd spent their entire marriage treating her like something he owned.
“I don’t care, I plan to still support you financially. I just can’t keep doing this. You’re free to do what you want now.”
“Oh, so you think you being the “bigger person” will make up for the hell you’re about to put those kids through? I know what you’re doing. You just want an excuse to be there even less for them.”
“That’s not true!” Ivan snapped, the words sounding more desperate than angry.
“Forget it. You want a divorce. Fine. I’ll take the kids and leave in the morning.”
“I’m not kicking you out, Gyeong, I’ll leave. The kids don’t need their entire lives uprooted.”
“No. If you don’t want us, then you can rot in this house alone.”
With that, Gyeong took her wine and was about to storm off, but she froze.
Ivan slowly turned toward the doorway.
Yu-na stood there stiffly, Tae half-hidden behind her.
Silence crashed over the kitchen.
“Papa?” Tae started, but Yu-na tightened her grip on her brother’s hand and pulled him away before he could say anything else.
“Wait-”
“I'll go talk to them.” Gyeong interrupted. “They aren't going to listen to you.”
“What are you going to tell them?”
Gyeong was silent for a long moment.
“That we tried…”
We. So she wasn't going to throw Ivan under the bus?
Ivan watched her go, suddenly unable to remember what any of this had been for.
By the time Ivan got up that next morning, Gyeong and the kids were gone. The house was too quiet, even for the early morning.
Geyong had left a message saying that they were going to her parents. The kids were still very upset and she asked him to give them time to adjust, and that she’d call him later to sort out the details of their divorce.
Ivan felt empty staring down at his phone.
That didn’t matter now though, it was time to get to work.
Days passed, Ivan knew he had to tell his father at some point, but he had never been good at admitting his failures to the man.
Nearly two weeks after Gyeong left, Ivan got called into his father’s office.
Unsha had his computer monitor angled towards the door so that Ivan could see the headline as soon as he walked in.
“HE WAS NEVER THERE” GYEONG SPEAKS OUT ABOUT HER MARRIAGE TO ANAKT VICE PRESIDENT’.
“Care to explain?” His father asked.
“...Gyeong and I are seperated…”
“How could you let this happen?”
“We don’t love each other, Father.”
“Do you think I care about that? I didn’t care when I arranged the marriage, and I don’t care when she’s talking to reporters, slandering my company!”
“I’ll talk to her, odds are they smelt blood in the water after her and the kids left, and they wouldn’t stop hounding her until she gave them something.”
“No, you're going to fix this and get that woman under control.”
“Father-”
“I don’t want excuses! Just listen!”
Unsha scrolled down until he landed on the video, then played it without any more fanfare.
Gyeong appeared onscreen dressed elegantly in a white blouse and long black skirt, seated across from a well-known news anchor.
“Thank you so much for joining us today,” the news anchor said sympathetically. “I know this can't be easy.”
Gyeong smiled faintly, though the exhaustion beneath it was obvious.
“You've become the center of a major public story overnight,” the news anchor continued carefully. “Many people are curious about how your marriage to Ivan began in the first place.”
Gyeong folded her hands neatly in her lap.
“Our marriage was arranged by our fathers as part of a business proposal,” she answered calmly. “My father wanted business connections. Ivan's father wanted influence. An agreement was reached.”
The news anchor blinked in surprise.
“So there was never really a love story?”
Gyeong hesitated.
“We tried… We really put in an effort.”
Ivan froze slightly at the familiar words.
“But eventually,” Gyeong continued quietly, “it became difficult to keep pretending work wasn't more important to him than anything else.”
The news anchor leaned forward.
“Including the children?”
Gyeong looked down briefly before answering.
“The children stopped expecting him to come home a long time ago.”
“Many people online have been calling you brave for speaking publicly about this,” the news anchor said gently. “Especially considering the influence Akakt Inc has.”
Gyeong gave a small laugh.
“I don't know about brave “
The news anchor tilted her head sympathetically.
“Then why speak out now?”
Gyeong was quiet for a moment.
“Because I'm tired,” she admitted. “And because my children deserve better than growing up believing this is what a family is supposed to look like.”
Ivan's stomach twisted.
“What was life with Ivan actually like behind closed doors?”
Gyeong smiled bitterly.
“Lonely.”
Unsha scoffed loudly from behind the desk, but Ivan barely heard him anymore.
“Ivan can be very charming in public,” Gyeong continued calmly. “People see a hardworking businessman. A provider. And he is those things.”
She paused.
“But eventually you realize being financially provided for and actually being loved are two very different things.”
Ivan's snaggletooth dug deep into his lip.
“There were birthdays missed. School events. Family dinners.” Gyeong shook her head. “At one point, my son started checking the driveway at night before bed because he wanted to see if his father's car would pull up before he had to go to bed.”
“That's heartbreaking,” the news anchor murmured
“It was normal for us,” Gyeong corrected
“Would you say Ivan neglected your family emotionally?”
Gyeong hesitated, Ivan almost thought she wouldn't answer.
“I think Ivan liked the idea of having a family more than actually being part of one.”
The words hit him hard, because he feared she might be right.
“And now he's divorcing you,” the news anchor said carefully. “How has that affected the children?”
Something angry flashed across Gyeong's face for the first time
“He said he's ‘setting us free,’” she scoffed. “But what kind of father walks away from his children because being a husband and parent became inconvenient?”
“That'a not why,” Ivan whispered before he could stop himself.
“You can't call yourself a devoted father just because you pay the bills.” Gyeong continued, emotion finally bleeding openly into her voice now. “Children need more than money. They need someone who actually wants to be there.”
Unsha paused the video, but Ivan didn't look away from the screen.
Because beneath the anger and exaggeration and humiliation…
There was still nothing but the brutal truth.
“Listen carefully, boy,” Unsha said coldly.
Ivan forced himself to look up from the screen.
“You have two options here.”
Undha folded his hands neatly atop his desk.
“Either you get your wife under control and make her publicly retract those statements…”
His expression darkened.
“Or you destroy her credibility so thoroughly that nobody will ever take her seriously again.”
Ivan stared at him.
“Father-”
“Do not look at me like that,” Unsha snapped. “She chose to make this public.”
He gestured sharply toward the frozen image of Gyeong on the monitor.
“Make her out to be unstable. Ungrateful. An unsupportive wife who enjoyed the benefits of your hard work while contributing nothing herself.”
Ivan felt sick.
“I'm not doing that,”
The office fell silent.
Unsha looked almost offended by the response.
“Excuse me?”
“I won't destroy the mother of my children because our marriage failed.”
For a second, Ivan worried Unsha might strike him, the dark look he gave him was hostile.
“Then I suggest you get her under control. Now.”
Ivan quickly lowered his head, somewhere deep inside, Ivan was still that frightened orphan.
He wouldn't go back to that lonely place.
“Yes father,”
“Get out. Go home. Fix this before you embarrass me further.”
The drive home felt unbearably long.
Ivan barely remembered getting into the car.
The city blurred past outside the tinted windows while Unsha's words looped endlessly through his head.
Ivan pressed the heel of his hands against his eyes.
His phone buzzed repeatedly in his pocket.
Colleagues wanted to know if Gyeong's words were true.
Headlines, news notifications, clips from the interview.
He turned his phone off after five minutes.
The silence that followed somehow felt worse.
The house wasn't much better. The staff had done their cleaning for the day, leaving it empty and quiet. Ivan stood alone in the massive entryway for a long moment before finally loosening his tie.
Ivan walked to his office, he sat heavily at his desk and opened his laptop.
There had to be a solution.
There always was.
He just needed to think logically.
If he shifted more meetings online, he could work remotely three days, no, four days a week.
He could attend conference calls from home.
Marty could reorganize his schedule.
He could clear his schedule for an hour everyday in order to have dinner with the family.
Perhaps he could sneak away to the office after the kids were asleep in order to get any work he couldn’t do remotely done,
Sundays could be reserved for strictly family outings. He'd plan picnics, amusement parks, shopping trips.
School events would be just as important as board meetings in Ivan's schedule.
Maybe he could even give Gyeong another baby? He remembered her saying she wanted a third on Tae's second birthday.
Ivan could make this work.
He had to make this work.
Ivan opened his laptop and got instantly overwhelmed by his already packed schedule. Already he saw several appointments that he couldn't reschedule or do from home.
He switched over to the family calendar Gyeong made years ago. Tomorrow Yu-na had a guitar lesson, and the day after Tae had a therapy appointment.
Ivan froze.
Therapy?
Since when was Tae in therapy?
Had Gyeong told him?
Had he forgotten?
Or had he simply not been listening?
His breathing started to shorten.
No.
Focus.
He could print copies of the children's schedules.
He could memorize them.
Learn everything properly this time.
Favorite foods and colors, teachers, hobbies. He could do that.
Good fathers knew those things.
He could become that.
Couldn't he?
“You need to learn to relax, dude, stop stressing.”
Till's voice drifted unexpectedly through his thoughts.
They used to be so young, so full of life. There wasn't a care in the world when Till was by his side.
“I want to show the world my music. Then I won't be looked down upon anymore.”
Ivan squeezed his eyes shut.
The memory hurt now
Because Till had escaped.
Till had become exactly who he wanted to be.
Meanwhile Ivan could barely remember the last meaningful conversation he'd had with his own children.
His chest tightened painfully.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
He lowered his head into his hands.
Work from home.
Family dinners.
School events.
Make an actual effort.
He could still fix this.
If he just tried harder.
If he slept less.
Worked faster.
Balanced things better
Became better.
The thoughts started overlapping too quickly.
Father.
Gyeong.
Yu-na.
Tae.
Unsha.
Shareholders
Meetings.
Headlines.
Failure.
Failure.
Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure.
Ivan's breathing suddenly hitched sharply.
He pressed a trembling hand against his chest.
Too tight
Everything felt too tight.
His collar. His lungs. The room.
He stood up too quickly, nearly knocking the chair over behind him.
Air.
He needed air.
But even after throwing the window open, it still felt like he couldn't get enough oxygen into his lungs.
His thoughts kept coming faster.
What if the children hated him forever?
What if Gyeong was right?
What if his father realized Ivan wasn't worth everything he'd invested into him?
What if Ivan truly was selfish?
Useless.
Weak.
Ivan gripped the windowsill so hard his knuckles burned white.
He couldn't slow his breathing down.
“Life happens, things change, but I'm not going anywhere,”
“Then where are you?!”
Till again.
Till smiling beneath the dark stadium.
Till leaning against his shoulder
Till's hand briefly squeezing his wrist after a bad game.
Till dragging him out for late-night food after Ivan admitted he hadn't eaten all day.
“Do you have a dream, Ivan? Something you want more than anything in the world?”
Ivan made a strangled sound in the back of his throat.
Because…
Because the truth was, more than anything in the world, more than fixing his relationships or appeasing his father, what Ivan truly wanted more than anything in the world…
Ivan wanted Till back.
He wanted someone who would never judge him.
Someone who would look at him and say,
“You're enough just like this,”
But Till was halfway across the world
And Ivan was alone.
Completely.
The realization shattered something inside him.
Ivan's legs gave out, and he was on his knees before he realized what happened.
His entire body shook violently.
He couldn't do this.
He couldn't be the perfect son, the perfect husband, the perfect father, the perfect executive.
But if he failed at even one of his roles, what would be left of him?
He had to at least try.
Step one was to calm down.
He closed his eyes and focused on nothing but his breathing.
Clear your mind, you're no good to them if you're falling apart.
Ivan wasn't sure how long it took for him to calm down, the sun was definitely at a different angle in the sky than he remembered, but eventually he was calm enough to at least stand.
Step two, find Gyeong, tell her that he’d change and be a better husband and father.
Ivan made a beeline to the front door, determined to fix the mess he created.
He wrenched open the door–
Only to be met with the familiar bright teal eyes he had been longing for.
Ivan froze.
Till stood in the doorway like something ripped straight out of the past, dressed in ripped jeans and a loose tank top, a beanie barely clinging to his messy hair with the help of a bobby pin. A guitar case hung from his back. One hand rested on the handle of a rolling suitcase while the other one was reaching forward to knock.
He looked painfully out of place against the cold luxury of Ivan's mansion.
Or maybe Ivan was the thing that no longer fit.
“Till?” Ivan breathed. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be on tour?”
“Didn’t you get my text?”
It was then that Ivan remembered that he turned his phone off.
“...I didn’t…”
Till rolled his eyes in an exaggerated ‘what am I going to do with you?’ way.
“I postponed the rest of my tour due to a family emergency. I’ll finish it next summer.”
Ivan’s stomach dropped.
“Is your mother alright?”
Till flicked Ivan’s forehead.
“She’s fine, dummy, I’m talking about you.”
Ivan stared at him.
Till's expression shifted almost immediately as he looked Ivan over. He took in the wrinkled clothes, the exhaustion carved into his face, the uneven rhythm of Ivan’s breathing.
“...Ivan,” Till said quietly.
Something about the way he said it made Ivan's chest ache.
“Sorry,” he muttered automatically.
“Why are you apologizing?”
Ivan opened his mouth to answer, only to close it again because he genuinely didn't know.
Because he looked terrible? Because Till felt the need to fly across the world for him? Because needing someone this badly felt humiliating?
“I don't know,” Ivan admitted finally.
Till looked at Ivan like he knew the answer and it hurt him.
Then his expression softened into something painfully familiar.
“You're doing that thing again.”
Ivan blinked tiredly.
“What thing?”
“Where you try to carry everything by yourself until you look like you're about to collapse.”
Ivan looked away.
A quiet sigh escaped Till as he nudged Ivan's shoulder lightly.
“You know,” he said slowly “most people usually say ‘thanks for flying across the world to check on me.’”
Another tired laugh escaped Ivan before he could stop it.
“Sorry.”
Till groaned dramatically.
“Ivan.”
He stepped closer, placing a hand on Ivan's shoulder. Ivan shuddered at the first gentle touch he'd experienced in who knows how long.
“You really thought you were getting rid of me that easily?”
Ivan froze.
The football field flashed through his mind.
“Life happens, things change, but I'm not going anywhere.”
Till poked his cheek lightly.
“I told you, you're stuck with me.”