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Fuuta didn’t think much of it at first, going against one simple rule, but he found himself in a sticky situation when Amane said she needed to punish him for it. He was very hungry, and he had been eating all the horrid vegetables Amane was feeding him. He hated it, and he started to eat less and less as each day passed. While he thought that person wasn’t around, he had taken a bite of a piece of meat Jackalop prepared. It was only moments later that she was up behind him and scolding him for disobeying the rules behind her back.
Now he sat on his bed, waiting for her to come into his cell and teach him a lesson. Memories of Kotoko’s attack slowly rose, but he had to repress it. It was his fault this was happening. He should never compare that person to Kotoko! Amane is doing this in his best interests, not to weakly serve her own version of justice-
Though maybe he was wrong, isn’t this just her own version of justice as well?
He shook his head. No no, she is helping discipline him to turn over a new page in his life. He needed this. If not, he wouldn’t have learned his lesson. Even so, he was still scared out of his mind. The same person that made him feel alive again, the one who saved him, the one who showed him a new light of the world… she was preparing to… hurt him. It didn’t sit right in his stomach, but he needed to repress that. She was the reason why he could ignore the voices in head. She helped to numb the pain… The voices never left, but they stopped tormenting him… he could just repress them.
His foot started to tap anxiously against the hard floor, bouncing up and down in a quick rhythm. He shouldn’t be scared of his leader… No he couldn’t! She was only ever nice, she wouldn’t really hurt him, right? Maybe he is simply overthinking everything, and that the punishment won’t be physical!
Suddenly his cell door opened, and Amane calmly walked through. She had a bucket filled with water, with loads of ice floating inside, and in her other hand was a wooden stick. He swallowed, perhaps we weren't going to hit him with the stick… But that was just wishful thinking. He watched as she approached him, placed the items on the ground and started to explain how it was going to go. He didn’t want to be in more trouble than he already was.. He probably deserved this… he didn’t fight back like how his old self would. He quietly nodded his head.
He noticed Amane’s sudden shift in her demeanor. She was very hesitant all of a sudden, and nervous too. He was worried he might have done something wrong, her face shifted and turned, like she was facing a battle inside her head. He lifted up his hand slightly and wanted to ask her if she was alright, but as he went to speak she yelled.
“Fuuta!” She shouted, more aggressive than usual. He nodded his head, she was definitely mad at him!
“Y-yes, sister… what do you… need?” He whispered to her. She walked up to him and stared down at him while he was sitting on his bed.
To his surprise, she lightly placed her hand in his hair and ruffled it lightly, almost affectionate. His shoulders relaxed immediately.
“You went against the rules…” She said softly, unlike how she yelled before. He nodded his head at that and looked down. It was true, he did. He wasn’t thinking properly when he did so. He couldn’t make progress on his journey to forgiveness if he kept messing up like that.
Still, he thought that punishment for what he did was unnecessary, even if he broke the rules.
“I just… I just ate meat, I didn’t think you’d-”
“It’s a rule to only eat the riches that were provided by nature. I told you, didn’t I..? I understand you are no fan of vegetables, but you need to follow the rules.”
He once again nodded his head, acknowledging his faults and stupidity.
She grabbed the bucket filled with ice cold water and let it splash over him, coating his body entirely with the liquid. He let out a pained, airy gasp of shock from the temperature. The cold from it rushed through his veins, his skin turned numb and he already started to shiver. It shot straight to his brain, giving him a horrible headache. It was so… freezing… he felt as if his limbs would fall off. He didn’t protest and keep his mouth shut. He needed to learn. He wanted to. To push through the pain; that’s all that was expected of him. He deserves it, he deserves it, he deserves it.
It wasn’t that bad…It was just cold for a few moments..
Surely that was it… but what was the stick for? He could feel snot trickle down from his nose as he watched Amane bring the wooden cylinder up in her hands, looking at him as if he was an animal to be pitied and then looked away. He didn’t want to admit it, but he felt so small and worthless in that moment. Had he not made her proud for taking it without defiance? Was his progress not good enough for her?
She lifted the stick high before hitting it against his arm. It didn’t hurt much, maybe stung a bit. He could tell she was holding back. She looked strangely nervous.. She continued to hit him with it, every smack would be stronger and with more force. The wetness of his skin made the pain worse as he shivered from the cold. He didn’t move… he had been through worse.. Kotoko’s attack, and the bullying from high school from a few years ago… he knew this was fine… That kind of pain was good. It was good for him…
Suddenly he felt it hit the side of his head, much much harder than the rest. He bit back a groan, but a pained sound still escaped his lips. His eye widened, he had hoped it wasn’t that bad, but he could feel the area heat up. Fuuta slowly brought up his hand and touched his head where it was hit, almost scared to know the answer of his head was pounding so much worse than before. He pulled his shaky hand away and brought it in front of his face to see his hand covered in blood. He heard the sound of wood hitting the floor and Amane running up to him in concern.
Worry was etched onto her face, she stammered before managing to squeak out, “Fuuta I-”
“Worry not, sister… we’re fine…” He whispered in a reassuring tone, still shaking from the cold and cutting her off. It hurt more than he liked to admit, the headache from the cold mixed with the new injury wasn’t something that wasn’t uncomfortable. He didn’t want her to worry, though. Of course not, she wastes too much time on him already, the last thing he needs is for her to be overly concerned for him for something he ultimately deserves.
Amane looked down to the floor, then back at him, “I apologize…” She paused, he could tell she was struggling to find the right words, “rest for now, I will pray for your recovery… I’ll see you tomorrow. Now sleep.”
She helped him lay down in his soaked bed from the cold water. She placed the blanket over him before he could protest.
“I can take care of myself…” He mumbled, to which Amane quickly shut that down.
“It’s important to take care of each other, my disciple. Sleep.” She repeated. “You need it.” He slowly closed his eye, obeying her order.
He heard his cell door shut and the room go dark. He was quivering still, the cold and wet really affecting him. The feeling made his stomach churn and his brain spin, his drenched bed not making the feeling feel any better. He could still feel the blood leaking from the side of his head. He couldn’t patch it up, or he’d be breaking the most sacred rule in the religion. He didn’t need to disappoint her anymore.
___
The next morning, Fuuta tossed and turned in his mattress, hearing its disgusting squishing sound whenever he moved. He coughed once… twice… it was probably nothing, he thought. He then sneezed. He coughed for a third time.
He sat up from his bed, horribly dizzy, his face burning so hot it felt like it was melting. He stared at his blood-stained pillow before laying back down with a low huff from impact.
Amane walked into his cell and her eyes widened.
He was definitely sick and there was nothing he could do about it! According to the doctrine of course, other than praying.