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“I understand how my actions, taken out of context, seem suspicious. However, from my point of view, they are only natural.”
There is a lengthy pause as they walk. Rengoku continues, completely unbothered, face in that easy smile of his. Eventually, Kakashi breaks the silence.
“My teammates all died…to save me.”
Kyojuro slows, shoulders lowering just a little. But he says nothing, and doesn’t look at Kakashi. He keeps walking alongside him, smile having faded and a solemn expression in its place.
“My first mission as a Jonin commander, I lost an eye. Couldn’t see the boulder falling, so he shoved me out of the way. His last words were to give me this,” he put a hand to his sharingan, “and to make me promise to protect our other teammate. She--” Years of experience in the ANBU prevented him from choking on the words. “Didn’t even last a year after that.”
Kyojuro bows his head.
“Sensei was hit hard, too. He did his best to take me in. Had no family except him and his wife. But then they sacrificed themselves to save us from the Ninetails. I could’ve helped. But I only arrived after the barrier went up. Instead, I just watched.”
Next to him, Rengoku takes in a sharp breath. But when he speaks a few moments later, his voice is matter-of-fact. “You would have died for them in a heartbeat.”
“You’ve been there, too, then.”
“I have.”
A long pause. “When you appeared out of nowhere, looking and acting like sensei, there was no way I could have accepted it. The more likely option was that you weren’t genuine, that you had sealed away your chakra and wormed your way into the good graces of the village’s most powerful weapon. But even on the chance that you were genuine…”
He falls silent for a moment before continuing. “If you were genuine, it wouldn’t mean anything. It’s not like you were going to stay.”
He shrugs.
Rengoku continues walking in understanding silence.
They are close to the village now; enough so that they had passed a few of the further training grounds. Now, they step out of the forest onto the far end of the clearing of Training Ground 11. Kakashi can see the Hokage Monument, the face of his old sensei looking much more stern than it ever did in life.
“I am staying in the village for now. I will not leave until young Naruto is well off, at the very least.”
A slight smile is playing on Rengoku’s lips again.
“If you want to take advantage of my time here, while I am here, I would be delighted to have another spar with you. But if not, there are plenty of others who are not planning on leaving. Shisui-kun and Itachi-kun look up to you. And you have made a world of difference in Naruto’s life, even before you have entered it officially.”
They both come to a halt, standing in silence, eyes forward.
“Why do you care?” Kakashi finds himself asking. A pause. “This village means nothing to you. None of them do.”
“On the contrary!”
Kakashi glances over. Rengoku is smiling broadly now, standing taller and straighter than ever. Kakashi can’t help but think wryly of the contrast they make; the lazy, cynical, slouching man who conceals his face along with his true emotions, alongside the tireless, optimistic, fiery-haired and owl-eyed Rengoku.
“Innocent lives will never mean nothing to me. They are precious, worth guarding with my honor and my life.”
Kakashi sighs, shoulders slumping further. “I just don’t want Naruto getting his hopes up for nothing. Creating an attachment, just for you to leave? That would be more than cruel.”
Rengoku turns to face him, regarding Kakashi’s expression.
“I suppose it would be.”
At length, he reaches for Kakashi’s shoulder. Kakashi tenses, trying to decide whether or not to evade the man’s grasp.
His indecision gets the better of him, and a large, warm hand takes him firmly by the shoulder.
Rengoku smiles, a different smile than his usual sort. His eyes aren’t so wide or distant, and they seem to see him, before they close altogether and a hint of wistfulness enters his expression.
“Take care of yourself.” he says, the quietest Kakashi has ever heard him.
And with that, he is off, turning and making his way towards the Uchiha compound.
Kakashi knows that the man is supposed to be charismatic, but…that warmth.
Had that been compassion?
After Minato-sensei’s death, the Sandaime exhibited a sort of diplomatic compassion towards him. He’d told himself he didn’t need it. He couldn’t afford to, not when the village needed him to be at the top of his game after so many losses.
Take care of yourself.
The way Rengoku said it made it almost sound like he cared about Kakashi, though he himself had done nothing but treat Rengoku like a threat.
Take care of yourself.
Does Kakashi deserve care? He had trouble accepting it even from Minato sensei. Is it even possible to accept it from himself?
Kakashi stands, not lifting a foot from where Rengoku left him. He stands for forty-six minutes, re-analyzing motivations, re-piecing together conclusions. Rethinking his view of himself.
Eventually, he decides that he can finish thinking at his apartment.